Are you having a hard time keeping friends?
Or do you find yourself constantly being let down by people you think are friends?
Feeling ignored by friends can be one of the worst things to experience, but what’s worse is when your friends are ignoring you and no one even seems to be subtle about it.
So are you such a bad person that no one wants to be around you anymore?
Or are you making a few unforgivable mistakes that push people away from you, or force them to take you for granted?
[Read: 16 reasons why you’re always being taken for granted by the people in your life]
18 insightful reasons why you don’t have any friends
Are your best guy friends or girl friends walking away from you all the time?
Well, here are 18 reasons why they’re probably doing that to you.
Ask yourself if you’re doing any of these things subconsciously, and if you see yourself in any of these reasons, make a conscious effort to change yourself for the better if you want your friends to stick around for longer.
#1 You try too hard. And it shows! You come off as too clingy and needy. Are you constantly pursuing people to meet you, even when they don’t seem too keen to make time for you? Or when you meet a friend or a group of friends, do you constantly try to get everyone to stay back, even if it’s very clear that they’re bored stiff?
Spending time with a new friend may matter a lot to you, but when you try too hard, you could come off as a very clingy and annoying person. Just relax, and be more laid back. Your friends don’t have to know you have nothing better to do when they’re gone. Just pretend like you’re busy too, and say goodbye before the atmosphere starts to stiffen up with awkwardness. [Read: How your self respect affects your relationship with your friends]
#2 You’re too negative. You’re full of dark energy of the bad kind, and you make people feel uncomfortable around you. Have you ever seen characters in movies or people on the street that make you feel uncomfortable, and you just don’t know why?
You may not pay too much attention to your thoughts, but when you’re too full of negativity, bitterness or anger, it shows. And it makes people want to move a few inches away from you even when they sit next to you. [Read: Are you full of negative energy? – 10 ways to remove it!]
#3 You have a hard time picking social cues. Is the person you’re talking to getting bored? Do you even realize this is the third time they’re looking at their watch? Did you even notice that your friend’s staring at their facebook page on the phone while you’re in the middle of an interesting conversation?
Just because you think you’re having a fun time doesn’t mean everyone else. Pay attention to the behavior of people around you when you talk to them. And change the conversation the minute you seem others getting distracted. [Read: The complete guide to making great conversations with anyone and making them love you!]
#4 You’re a selfish person. Admit it. No one may have told you this, but you’re more worried about your own needs than anyone else’s. When you meet your friends, all you’re concerned about is about YOU having a good time. You don’t think about an evening out with friends as a collective moment to get together and have fun. “Why am I not having fun?” “Why don’t they like talking about this when I like it so much?” “Why aren’t we staying longer because I have nothing better to do?” “Why am I being ignored?” “Why isn’t this person talking to me?”
You selfishly extract happiness out of the conversation with others, and are only interested in hearing what you want to hear, and talking about things you want to talk about. You always want more than you give. But remember this, when you’re not willing to give back, you’re not going to get any in the first place. [Read: 10 signs you’re a selfish person and 5 ways to change yourself]
#5 You read between the lines. And you read it way too much! You constantly assume the whole world revolves around you. So your friend shared a quote on facebook? Wait, does that have something to do with you? Was there a secret message addressed to you in that? Is he or she trying to say something to you? Stop!
Stop trying to constantly assume that there’s a hidden agenda or meaning behind everything a friend does or says, and that it somehow has something to do with you. When you start reading between the lines all the time, you’re going to end up making a lot of assumptions. And as everyone knows, assumptions are the mother of all F* ups. You get one assumption wrong somewhere, and every assumption beyond that is going to be all wrong. And it gets worse if you confront a friend over an assumption and then find yourself looking like an idiot. [Read: Are you losing a friend or are both of you just drifting away over time?]
#6 You whine all the time!! People hate whiners more than they hate the plague, even if they don’t realize it! Do you find yourself complaining about something or the other all the time? Do yourself and the world a favor and stop the whining. Everyone has enough crap going on in their own lives, and they don’t want to be burdened by your complaints and lack of happiness. Be happy, look at the bright side and shower the world with happiness and laughs. You’ll be loved in no time! [Read: 15 tips to be really nice and loved by all immediately]
#7 You create psychological barriers. Do you ever hold back a thought because you think you may sound silly for saying it? And most importantly, do you feel uncomfortable around your friends? If you do, your body language may be picked up by your friend’s subconscious mind and make them feel uncomfortable and restless around you.
#8 You’re a boring conversationalist. You speak about things that just don’t interest the people you’re around. And you just don’t know when to stop. Just because something interests you doesn’t mean the whole world should be fascinated by it!
Here’s a cue, if a friend listens to what you have to say without making any effort to add their own views into it, in all probability, they’re just waiting to run away from you. [Read: Easy ways to be funny and interesting, and make people love your company!]
#9 You drain your friend’s energy. You’re a toxic friend. You always leave people in a bad mood when you say goodbye. And your friends are happier when you leave than when you’re around. It could be the things you say, or the choice of words you use to say something, that just makes people want to curl their toes around you.
Are your friends planning get-togethers behind your back without inviting you over? Well, sorry to say it, but there’s a very, very big chance that you’re a toxic friend. [Read: The 10 types of toxic friends who make other friends feel miserable]
#10 You’re in the wrong crowd. Sometimes, annoying people don’t like you even when you’re really nice, and that’s probably because they have a preconceived notion about who you are *either through rumors or based on your not-so-secret past*. You can’t change that, and the effort you’re going to take to make them believe you’re a really nice person is just not worth it.
#11 You’re right. You always are. Wait, that’s what you think! You argue over the silliest of things. You think an interesting argument is the perfect way to keep a conversation alive. But can you really define a healthy argument? Do you have the urge to contradict people aggressively over the smallest of things, perhaps to prove them wrong or to make yourself feel better?
Do people give up arguments easily around you? Well, here’s something you need to know. When people give up arguments within a minute or two while talking to you, it’s not a case of you making a strong point. It’s a case of others saying “whatever… gosh, this person is annoying!” [Read: 10 kinds of really bad friends you have to avoid in your life]
#12 You forget your friends when you don’t need them. Do you really pay attention to your friends? Or do you just ignore your friends and their calls when you’re having fun with someone else? Do you avoid your friends when you start dating someone new?
You really need to think about this one. You may not realize it, but you may be taking your friends for granted and assume they’d always stick around for you, whether you have time for them or not. On the other hand, your friends may be too hurt because of the way you treat them, and may choose to avoid you. [Read: 20 signs you’re a people pleaser and don’t know it!]
#13 You’re insecure and jealous. You have trust issues and feel threatened each time your friend meets someone new, and you subconsciously make it a point to make your friend feel bad for ignoring you or spending time with someone other than you. When you’re jealous, it always shows. And your friends would absolutely hate being around you, especially when you try to make them feel guilty for meeting or spending time with others, instead of you.
#14 You’ve jumped or dropped a social status. People are most comfortable around people of their own social status. It’s a hidden secret that’s only whispered in hushes. Did your startup make it big and now you’re a really rich guy or girl all of a sudden? Your poorer old friends may start ignoring you and think you’re a rich show off all of a sudden. And that’s because they feel threatened by your newfound success.
Or if you were a richer person a year ago than you are now, there’s a good chance that your old friends would think lowly of you and bitch about you behind your back. And you’d be the social pariah because you’re “not good enough for them” anymore!
You can’t do anything about it though, so just find yourself a few new friends who’ll appreciate you for who you really are. [Read: 25 memorable life lessons that can change your life for the better!]
#15 You’re an introvert. Do you feel happiest when you’re alone? Perhaps, you’re an introvert who’s trying to come out of the shell. You probably want to make new friends, but you just don’t know how to go about it without rubbing someone off the wrong way. Take your time, learn from past experiences and make sure you don’t repeat your mistakes. [Read: The right way to make new friends when you can’t find any!]
#16 You’re fake! You’re so fake you make Barbie look real! And everyone around you can see it. You may think you’re very smart and can cover the fact that you’re a liar who says nice things just to get things done. But if your friends see through your behavior, you’ll be losing friends like you were squeezing sand in your hands.
#17 You’re too demanding. You have a lot of expectations from your friends, and voice your displeasure very vocally when they can’t do something for you. For some reason, you have this notion in your head that friends are out there to help you and it’s your right to ask them for help when you need to get something done. Well, it probably worked well in your school days, but you can’t really expect friends to make time for the silliest of your whims all the time!
#18 You’re not making the effort. Are you really trying to meet people, or are you sitting at home waiting for the miracle gods to stir up something for you? Making friends requires a lot of effort, just like work or making money. But the best part about making friends is that it has an exponential effect!
When you make one friend, that person will lead you to two more. And those two will lead you to four more, and so on! But for people to be interested in you and enjoy your company, you need to be pleasant, happy, fun and most importantly, giving. [Read: 11 tips to love yourself and be a much better you!]
The last word.
Look, if you don’t have friends, it’s not always your fault. You need to remember that. If someone doesn’t want to be your friend, you have a choice to walk away too. There’s no reason for you to cling on to someone who clearly doesn’t think of you as a priority. You’d only make yourself look like an idiot for trying to grasp on to someone who’s twisting your fingers away to run away from you.
[Read: Should you make someone a priority when you’re only an option to them?]
So the next time another friend walks away from you, see if you find any of these 18 reasons why you don’t have friends in yourself. And in all probability, there’s a good chance you’re unintentionally driving your good friends away from you without realizing it!
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