One-sided friendship – who needs them? You answered that pretty fast. But usually, we don’t even realize we’re in one until it’s too late.
You know the old saying, relationships are a two-way street. Yeah, I know, I rolled my eyes too, but this washed-out phrase is worn out for a reason. We all have a one-sided friendship. Chances are, you’ll probably go through many of them before you end up with a solid and trustworthy group of friends.
15 ways to know when it’s a one-sided friendship
But there are times when our friendships run their course. I had a friend who ended up sleeping on my couch for a year and eating all my food. Was that a friend? Well, they did hold my hair back when I was white girl wasted… but is that enough?!
They can find some other couch to sleep on, ya know what I’m sayin’!
#1 It’s always you calling them. They never call you. They reply to your texts, but you don’t see them sending you messages asking how you’re doing. If you call, they answer. If not, nothing happens. It’s basically you and you alone trying to keep this relationship afloat. Let this baby sink. [Read: Got flaky friends? Here are the reasons to ditch them]
#2 They only call when they need something. Ah yes. They do like you when they need something. Maybe they’re short on rent or need cash for a dress, and then there they are, magically appearing. What a great friend. You probably have quite the tab adding up because all they do is take, take, take.
#3 They don’t listen. You might not even have an issue to discuss, maybe you just want to tell a funny story, but they’re busy texting on their phones while at coffee with you. In a one-sided friendship, they are not genuinely interested in anything you say, unless it’s, “oh, here’s that money you needed.”
#4 Never on time. Aretha Franklin, my girl, she had it right. R-e-s-p-e-c-t. If they’re never on time, it’s because they don’t respect your time. They don’t care enough to be on time. Perhaps, they’ve been on time, but were those the times they needed money? BINGO. The pieces of the puzzle are intact.
#5 They control what you two do. Whatever they want to do, you two do it. There’s no compromise. Or maybe you suggested something and they knocked it down. They want it their way or the highway because it’s all about them. This isn’t a friendship, this is a damn dictatorship. [Read: 17 bad friends you should unfriend from your life]
#6 They have half your closet at their place. It’s alright to borrow an item of clothing, but when they have your whole closet at their place! Come on, just buy your own stuff. The best part, your things are probably lying on the ground or stained with ketchup. I wouldn’t doubt it.
#7 Never there when you need them. Did you just break up with your partner, and you’re a crying mess? Well, in a one-sided friendship, they probably weren’t around to comfort you as you cried it out on the couch. Sure, they may have been around when you wanted to drink the pain away, but that’s not an actual friend. They wanted to be there for the good times, but what about the bad?
#8 No, thank you. When you help get their ass out of a jam, do they ever just turn to you and say, thank you? Is that even a phrase they properly pronounce? Probably not. Because you always help them out, so why is this time any different? [Read: 23 secret signs of narcissism most friends completely overlook]
#9 They don’t care. Let me put it like this, if you had an emergency, would they be the first one you’d call? If you said no, you’re already on your way to realizing this friendship is one-sided. Actually, if they aren’t in your top ten, it’s safe to say they aren’t really your friend.
They couldn’t care less, don’t get me wrong, they don’t want you dead, they need you for their rent. But other than that, they don’t care.
#10 Don’t meet you halfway. I mean this literally. You drive to them or else you two aren’t meeting. Sure, they ‘accidentally’ slept in or they could also not be bothered to get dressed for you. Just take that in for a minute. [Read: 16 signs your friends are taking advantage of you]
#11 High expectations. Well, this one is on you. In a one-sided friendship, they have high expectations of what you put into the friendship because it’s always been you. So, now you have this standard to uphold. When you don’t meet it, they aren’t happy.
#12 They put you down. If you attend new art class or something which distracts you from servicing them, you’re going to hear about it. But, not the conventional upfront way.
#13 They don’t open up. The whole point of a friendship is unloading your feelings and thoughts onto someone who understands and empathizes. But, if you’re the only one dishing out personal information, and they’re sitting there, collecting their next manipulation act, well, run.
#14 Manipulation. Friendships are relationships. They’re also prone to emotional and mental abuse. You probably won’t even recognize the abuse because you wouldn’t expect it from a friend. But believe me, the manipulation is real. [Read: Emotional manipulation: 14 ways people mess with your mind]
#15 Resentful when you take a step back. If you decide to take a step back from the friendship, instead of empathy, they become angry and resentful, that’s a sign they’re not a friend. A friend tries to see what they did wrong and how to fix it.