We all need friends in life. These the ones who pick us up when we’re down, the ones who celebrate our successes, and those who have our backs when things get tough. Friends are your ride or die, the ones who will never let you down. The problem is, not all friends are equal. And sometimes, you may come across subtle signs your friend doesn’t respect you, or even care about you.
It’s vital to check your inner circle from time to time and check that you’re surrounding yourself with people who build you up rather than knock you down, to check that no one is drilling holes in your boat when your back is turned. By doing that, you can be sure that you’ll have long-lasting, high-quality friendships for a long time to come.
Respect is something that has to be earned, but it’s also something that needs to be present in every relationship and friendship alike.
If you don’t have mutual respect, you really have nothing to build the friendship upon. So, what if you’re starting to notice signs your friend doesn’t respect you? Should you quit it and move on, or have a conversation?
[Read: Good friends are like stars – 18 ways to build long lasting friendships]
Sometimes we show a lack of attention to someone we’re close to because of something going on in our own lives. This can lead to showing a lack of respect without even realizing it. If you have a close friend and you’re noticing that they’re not being as present as they normally would be, or perhaps they’re acting out of character, maybe it’s time to sit down and have a chat, find out if everything is okay. You don’t always have to quit and move on.
However, if someone is continually showing you a lack of respect despite your conversations about it, it’s time to shrug your shoulders, learn from the experience and find a new friend.
[Read: Am I a bad friend? The bad friendship skills that push people away]
Not sure what to look out for? Here are 24 signs your friend doesn’t respect you that can help you make up your mind.
Some people love to knock people down in order to make themselves look good. If your friend has started to do this, or you’re starting to notice that they’ve been doing it all along, it shows a huge lack of respect towards you. Friendship rule number one – never belittle your friend!
Whilst they don’t have to agree with everything you do, a good friend has your back whether you’re right or wrong. If your friend simply refuses to back you up on anything, they clearly don’t care enough about you and they’re showing one of the clear signs your friend doesn’t respect you. [Read: 15 signs a friend is using you and draining the happiness out of you]
Is there anything more annoying than someone who cuts you off before you’ve finished speaking, simply because they’re not interested in what you have to say?
If a so-called friend of yours is doing this, it’s time to call them out on it. It’s seriously disrespectful and ultra-annoying. It basically says that their story is far more interesting and important than yours.
A true friend wants to celebrate your successes and will be the first one there, cheerleading you over the finish line. If your so-called friend is never there and never rooting for you, there is a huge power issue in the friendship, one which possibly can’t be fixed. [Read: How to stop being jealous of someone else’s success]
A good friend will push you to achieve. They’ll try and be the driving force behind your successes. If your friend never tries to encourage you and instead they’re pulling you back, it’s one of the signs your friend doesn’t respect you. [Read: 15 qualities of a good friend that set them apart]
We all have days when we’re feeling less than shiny. But on those days, your friend is supposed to build you up and tell you how wonderful you are. If your friend is doing the opposite, if they’re pulling you down, perhaps to make themselves feel better, they’re not only showing disrespect but they’re also being a terrible friend!
If you find out that a friend has been talking about you behind your back, you need to question why they’re your friend in the first place. Your friend is supposed to have your back at all times and that means never discussing your business or talking about you when you’re not around. [Read: Girly things: What your girlfriend’s really gossiping about]
Sometimes we ask favors of our friends and it totally depends on the favor as to whether they do it or not. However, if your friend never helps out when you ask a small thing, you have to wonder whether they have the same idea of friendship as you. They’re showing you disrespect because they’re not honoring your friendship. [Read: 15 signs you have shitty friends and it’s time to get some new ones]
Sometimes we have to let our friends down, but it should never become a regular thing. If your friend is always letting you down at the last minute, perhaps deciding to go out with another friend instead of you, not inviting you to go along, or choosing their partner over you at all times, they’re showing one of the major signs your friend doesn’t respect you. They just assume you don’t mind. You do mind, of course. [Read: Got a flaky friend? Here’s why you should ditch them]
We all make mistakes sometimes but a good person apologizes when they know they’ve done something wrong. If your friend never apologizes, if they simply assume that they don’t have to, it’s downright disrespectful. Would they like it if you did the same to them? Probably not.
Is there anything more annoying than meeting someone for a coffee and they spend the entire time on their phone? It’s not being present and it’s seriously rude. If your friend is always on their phone when you’re supposed to be spending quality friend time together, they’re disrespecting you. [Read: Phubbing and why it’s one of the rudest thing you can do]
If your friend knows that you’re at work, you’re studying, you’re on a date, or you’re spending family time, they should give you the space you need and call at a later time.
However, if your friend is constantly bombarding you when they know full well that you’re occupied, they’re simply assuming that you’ll drop everything and run to them. Hugely disrespectful.
Everyone forgets to reply to a call or message occasionally. If this is happening on a regular basis, it’s your friend prioritizing everything else over you. Not exactly the greatest basis for a lasting friendship! [Read: Friends of convenience – The good kind and the bad ones you must avoid]
If your friend constantly disrespects you in some way or the other, you need to consider whether this person is a real friend or just someone who is in your life for no quality reason. However, if your friend is simply acting out of character, perhaps it’s better to sit down and explore the issue together.
You just know when someone’s jealous of you. A true friend is never jealous of their friend’s success, they’re just happy for them! If your friend appears jealous when good things come your way, it’s one of the signs your friend doesn’t respect you or care at all.
Is the friendship one-sided? Relationship of any kind, romantic or platonic, have to be two-way deals. It’s important to give and time in equal amounts. If you’re always running after your friend, trying to find out if they’re okay or why they haven’t called, it’s time to question why. [Read: Bad friends: 25 types of friends you MUST unfriend from your life]
It’s important to set boundaries in life. Good boundaries help us to be happy and healthy. However, if your friend is always overstepping the mark, they’re not showing you respect and they don’t care about how you feel. They’re taking advantage of you and your kindness too, which is never a good thing.
Friendships shouldn’t feature lies. Of course, small white lies to avoid hurting someone are okay occasionally but if you regularly catch your friend in a lie, it’s a bad sign. It’s also one of the signs your friend doesn’t respect you because they just expect you to believe them blindly. [Read: Types of liars: 14 ways to confront them and not lose your cool]
Not only do they let you down on a regular basis, but they’re always breaking the promises they make to you. If you’re always left with a shattered pinky promise, ask yourself why. Would a real friend break promises without feeling bad about it? Definitely not.
Again, this comes down to jealousy. When someone controls you to do what they want, they’re making sure that you don’t succeed. Of course, a real friend would want you to do well no matter what, but a fake friend certainly doesn’t. It’s one of the signs your friend doesn’t respect you and it’s hugely upsetting to realize. [Read: 20 glaring signs you have a control freak in you]
If your so-called friend is often a little insensitive or seems quite pleased when you’re a little down or upset, it’s not the best basis for your friendship. A true friend never likes to see you upset or down. If they enjoy you being down, it’s because that makes them feel better about how they’re feeling.
Never ignore your gut instinct. If it’s telling you that there’s something not quite right between you and you often feel quite negative around them, that’s a pretty strong sign that this is a friendship that’s not meant to be. Their disrespectful behavior is likely to feel pretty draining to you emotionally. [Read: How to listen to your gut and give strength to your inner voice]
When someone is manipulative, they make you do what they want. They act sulky or upset if you don’t, and you go along with it just to keep the peace. How is that respecting your boundaries or your feelings? It’s not! If your friend regularly does this, it’s one of the biggest signs your friend doesn’t respect you at all.
Again, this comes down to gut feelings. If you know that telling your friend something means it will be repeated or belittled, it’s a case of zero trust. What basis for a friendship is that? It’s also hugely disrespectful because keeping secrets and being trustworthy in general is one of the basic rules of friendship. [Read: Be careful who you trust: 15 ways to recognize the backstabbers]
Friendships are give and take and if your friend always tramples over you to be in the right, that’s no friendship basis at all. It disrespects you and everything you give to the friendship, whilst attempting to damage your self-esteem so they can look/feel better. Low blow, right?
[Read: How to get over a friend when you just want your friend back]
If you’re noticing these signs your friend doesn’t respect you, it’s time to sit down and take stock. Never throw away a friendship for a temporary issue. But at the same time, do not settle for a regular pattern of disrespect either. Remember, friendship is a two-way street.
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