43 Cheating Girlfriend Signs, Why Girls Cheat & Must-Knows to Deal with It

How can you know for sure that your girlfriend is cheating on you? It’s not wise to accuse without proof, but either way, this situation is a painful one to be in. 

Cheating Girlfriend Signs

Being cheated on is never fun. You know what’s worse than being cheated on? Not *knowing* if you’re being cheated on. The mystery leads to living in a constant state of paranoia about whether you have a cheating girlfriend or whether you’re just overthinking.

You can’t pinpoint what it is exactly, but the feeling is just too strong: something is different. That very strong feeling is called intuition. Apparently, males have it, too. Hurray!

The problem with intuition is it’s just that—intuition. It’s just a guide for you to find out the truth. Until you have solid proof of her infidelity, you can’t accuse your girlfriend of cheating.

For that reason, you need to be clued up on the signs of a cheating girlfriend. [Read: What is cheating in a relationship? The truth most people ignore]

Why are you looking for signs your girlfriend is cheating on you?

Before we get into the actual signs your girlfriend is cheating on you, make sure you aren’t going all James Bond on an innocent young lady. 

If you’ve been cheated on or lied to before, it can sour your view of everyone else you date. It can leave you feeling bitter and expecting the worst in everyone. 

If you have trust issues, figure out if you really have a gut feeling that your girlfriend is cheating on you or if these are baseless fears brought on by your past.

Don’t blame your girlfriend for your dating history. If you are paranoid and dealing with severe trust issues, you will find vague signs your girlfriend is cheating on you that don’t even exist. [Read: How to date with trust issues and learn to trust again]

We know it is hard not to be emotionally invested in your significant other’s behavior. But losing all practicality when it comes to cheating can ruin a relationship and destroy any level of trust you may have started with.

So, first, figure out if you have deep-seated trust issues or if there is actually weight to your suspicions. [Read: How to live your best love life with these healthy relationship boundaries]

How to tell if your girlfriend is cheating on you

Psychologist Dr. Bonnie Weil and Men’s Health Magazine participated in studies on how likely women are to cheat. One study suggested 50% of married women will cheat at one point or another. The bottom line? Nobody is safe!

But hey, even the sneakiest cheater is going to get caught one day. To help you, let’s check out several obvious warning signs you have a cheating girlfriend on your hands.

1. She’s hiding her phone

Cell phones are an extension of most people’s bodies. So it really doesn’t come as a shock to you that your girlfriend is taking hers everywhere with her, but is that all she’s doing with it?

Signs of a cheating girlfriend include her frequently deleting text messages, having shady apps, or nudes of herself you’ve yet to see. If your girlfriend hides her phone or acts squeamish when you get close to it, you may have a problem on your hands. [Read: Boundaries in dating: How far is too far?]

2. She’s shutting off emotionally

Pulling the silent treatment is bad in any given situation. It definitely spells bad news if your partner is refusing to discuss important topics or develops a blasé attitude towards your relationship.

Stonewalling means your girlfriend is shutting off emotionally from you, and you need to figure out why—fast. Either you have an underlying issue preventing your relationship from getting stronger, or she’s not confiding in you any longer because she’s confiding in someone else. [Read: 25 truthful reasons why women cheat so easily!]

3. She’s stopped sharing with you

If you haven’t noticed, the little things are important in a healthy relationship. Some might say it’s the little things that keep that spark alive.

Asking how your day was, sending good morning and goodnight texts, and telling you the newest gossip at work are all great signs that she’s into you.

These little gestures show you that you’re on her mind, and if she isn’t doing these things anymore, odds are you aren’t. This is a bad sign that she’s sharing these big and small things with someone else. [Read: Should you ever forgive a cheating partner?]

4. She’s seeing you less

The less your girlfriend wants to hang out with you, the worse your situation is. If she’s coming up with flimsy excuses to ditch your plans together, she’s probably seeing someone else more. We know, impossible—you are Mr. Dashingly Awesome. Sad but true.

Girls generally want to see their man as much as possible. The worst thing you can do is let this continue. But if she has legit excuses like she’s been working hard or has stressful family issues to deal with, then the coast is clear. [Read: 20 revealing signs that show you may be growing apart]

5. Your sex life has dried up

Has your sex life suddenly dried up? There are many reasons why your girlfriend won’t have sex with you anymore.

If you’re confident that you know how to get her off and have kept your sex life fun and exciting for her, yet she’s still avoiding having sex with you, you may have a cheating girlfriend on your hands. [Read: 16 mind-blowing ways to spice up your relationship: Tonight]

6. She’s suddenly introducing new moves in the bedroom

On the flip side, if your girlfriend is bringing in an arsenal of new sex moves, there may be trouble ahead. Fun trouble but still trouble. It’s hard to determine whether she’s cheating or just horny.

The truth is, if her sexual behavior has done a complete 180, she may be bringing in tips and tricks she’s learned from another lover.

7. She’s accusing you of cheating

If your girlfriend is suddenly accusing you of cheating by some sort of twisted reverse psychology, she may actually be the one doing you wrong!

If she’s laying the blame game on thick, it could be for one of several reasons: she’s trying to get you to break up with her/trying to break up with you, or she realizes how easy it is to cheat and is mortified you could be hurting her the way she’s secretly hurting you. [Read: 18 ingenious ways to catch a cheating partner]

8. She’s on her phone more than usual

There are plenty of reasons she could be on her phone more than usual. Is she waiting to hear back from a new job? Is she working on a huge project or dealing with family drama? 

Be practical about this. If she is constantly on her phone, checking for alerts, or typing away without a reason you know about, it could be a sign your girlfriend is cheating on you. [Read: How to deal with your girlfriend texting another guy]

9. She is buying gifts to distract you

This is often to get you to focus on something else. If your girlfriend is cheating and afraid you’ll find out, she may go above and beyond to make up for the guilt. Plus, it makes you less suspicious.

However, don’t panic if your girlfriend simply buys you a gift because she wanted to. Perhaps she is genuinely being thoughtful. You’ll need a few more signs to back up your claims of a cheating girlfriend. [Read: 20 sneaky signs your girlfriend is looking out for someone else]

10. She changes plans last minute

Some people are just flaky. But if this is new behavior for her, infidelity could be the cause. Don’t go nuts if she cancels once or twice with good reason. However, if she cancels your date night repetitively and can’t make plans you’ve had scheduled for weeks or months, something is up.

11. You don’t go out together

If you used to go out to happy hour together or have a date night once a week, but she has pushed you to stay in, she may be hiding something from you. Maybe she doesn’t want the person she is cheating with to know she is cheating or doesn’t want to risk bumping into anyone.

12. She picks fights

A major sign your girlfriend is cheating is if she starts picking fights with you. She will likely nitpick at small things to distract you from her behavior. 

If you’re finding that you’re arguing more than usual, and it’s always her that starts it for seemingly no reason, you might want to look a little deeper. [Read: Guilt tripping in a relationship – What it is and how to respond to it]

13. Her friends don’t come around as much

When someone is cheating, it is a huge lie to keep. So, it is unlikely that her friends don’t know. If they used to come around the house or you used to go out as a group but haven’t seen them lately, it may be to prevent a slip-up.

Check for signs of your social lives changing and see if you can pinpoint anything that could lead to suspicion.

14. You’re not a priority for her anymore

If your girlfriend has stopped worrying about your needs and preferences, she could be overwhelmed with work. But if there hasn’t been a major life change you know about, could she be cheating?

Has she stopped making dinner and started ordering out? Has she changed her look but not when going out with you? [Read: 25 truthful reasons why women cheat so easily]

15. She’s super defensive

If you mention your concerns, even subtly, and she goes off the handle, she may be overcompensating. When someone starts a fight with you for simply sharing your concerns or fears, there is something going on.

The tactic here is to make you think that you’re accusing her of something she would never do. It’s gaslighting in many ways, and she’s getting angry to make you back down on your accusations. [Read: The reasons why people get defensive and how to handle them]

16. She doesn’t come home at night

If she doesn’t come home, it is not a good sign. A girl trying to tease or make a guy question his place with her knows there is a point that pushes it too far.

Not coming home is pushing it too far, and she isn’t coming back because there is someone she is staying with. [Read: Is she cheating? 20 sneaky signs your girl is looking out]

17. She leaves in the middle of the night

If she waits until you are asleep and sneaks out, obviously, she isn’t trying to get your attention, you are sleeping. She is probably cheating on you.

Not only that, but it’s super-disrespectful and doesn’t show any care or concern for your feelings. Let’s be honest, it sucks to wake up alone, right?

18. She shows up with unexplained gifts or jewelry

You know she couldn’t afford it herself, and she didn’t borrow it just to get your attention. If a gift shows up on her person, then the likelihood is she really does have someone else.

This someone else is trying to make her feel like a million dollars with gifts and jewelry. The fact she’s showing it off around you could be a mistake on her part, or simply that she’s trying to get you to understand she’s cheating without having to admit it herself. [Read: 18 ingenious ways to catch a cheating partner in the act]

19. She’s suddenly making more of an effort

Wearing different clothes is one thing; losing weight, working out, and putting her all into her appearance means she is ready to move on. Even if she doesn’t have someone right now, we bet she is in the process of trying to find them.

Now, don’t panic if she changes her style a little out of the blue, and you have no other signs to worry about. But this is certainly the final nail in the coffin if you can nod along to other signs of a cheating girlfriend listed here.

20. She smells like a guy

If she smells like cologne, it wasn’t floating around in the air. As much as you don’t want to think about it, if she smells like a guy, she rubbed up against him. And not on the bus. [Read: Questions to ask before dumping a cheating partner]

21. She’s nervous all the time

It is not in a girl’s nature to feel good about cheating, nor as socially acceptable. She knows if her friends and family find out what she is doing, she is going to catch hell. That leaves her a nervous wreck lying to everyone she knows.

22. She suddenly becomes dreamy

You know what “in love” looks and feels like. It’s a kind of high that’s impossible to hide. If you notice her smiling and blushing like a teenage girl when she’s checking her phone or during random moments, it’s possible that she’s in love with someone else.

But, you know, having giddy feelings doesn’t mean she is cheating. She could be giddy for a lot of reasons. It could be that she has a harmless crush, she remembered something funny, or she’s thinking of shopping. [Read: Ways to handle a crush when you’re already in a relationship]

23. She’s buying a lot of sexy lingerie

If she’s always been content wearing granny panties and, all of the sudden, she raids the mall for the sexiest lingerie available, you have to wonder why. Admittedly, she could just be in the mood to have a makeover. Come on—any woman can buy sexy lingerie just because.

Just make sure she’s wearing it for you. If her intimacy level is low, but her lingerie collection is piling up, it’s not a good sign.

24. She suddenly enjoys her independence

She used to be clingy with you, bombarding you with texts all day. Many times, you felt choked by her lack of independence—but all of the sudden, she’s okay without you.

She rarely texts you and has no issues with you not texting her, either. Chances are, she’s having way too much fun without you. [Read: The most common yet painful types of cheating in a relationship]

25. She panics if you touch her phone

You used to freely use and explore each other’s phones simply because there was nothing to hide. That doesn’t mean you used to spy on her by reading her messages, you just enjoyed tinkering with each other’s stuff.

But now, her phone is off-limits. Unless you suspect that she’s planning a surprise party for you, it’s cause for alarm.

26. She leaves the room to answer calls

Why would she go to the bathroom to answer phone calls when she used to let you hear every conversation she had? Again, if your birthday is not around the corner, be wary. [Read: 18 signs your girl may be having an emotional affair with another guy]

27. She deletes her search history

So, you got really suspicious of all the changes you noticed with her, and you now want to investigate. The first thing you probably want to check is her search history. You expect to see articles on infidelity, but you’re left hanging; all you see is a blank page. She has deleted her search history.

You check again next week and find the same thing. Since when did this become a habit of hers? Unless she’s keeping something else from you *she’s shy that she’s watching porn, she’s searching for a new job and you’re against it, etc*, then it’s a sign.

28. Wandering eyes

When you’re out in public, her eyes scan the area as if she’s looking for someone. She’s either wanting or dreading a chance encounter with her lover. You will notice that she just isn’t as relaxed and focused as before. [Read: 16 well-hidden signs you’re not the only one she’s sleeping with]

29. She mumbles when she says, “I love you”

It doesn’t automatically mean that she’s cheating, but this could be a sign that she’s not that into you anymore, and she feels icky saying those words. It could also simply be because she’s tired of saying it every single day. Some women get lazy, too, you know.

When coupled with at least five of the signs on this list, though, it’s a sign of something else. [Read: Ways your girlfriend or wife could accidentally be cheating on you]

30. She quickly becomes irritated with you

And she’s not afraid to show her annoyance. It’s as if everything you do turns her off. The possible reason for that is that she’s now comparing you to the one she’s seeing on the side. It upsets her that you can’t be like him.

31. She asks for space

If you’re not the clingy, controlling, manipulative type, but she still wants space, it could be a problem. What she really wants is for you to leave her for a bit, so she can do her thing without feeling guilty and without technically cheating.

32. She seems like she’s on autopilot

You see her doing the things she normally does on a daily basis, but there’s something different about her—it’s as if she’s an empty shell. She’s physically present, yet her mind and heart are elsewhere.

She’s pretending to act normal so you won’t get suspicious, but you can tell. [Confession: I cheated on my boyfriend *he has no idea!* and I feel so much better]

33. She seems excited when you go away for a day or two

She used to feel melancholic when you told her you had a business trip for a week, but now you notice her eyes twinkling. Of course, she might say she will miss you, but a part of her is jumping for joy.

Check her body language, and you’ll know for sure. You’ll also notice if her demeanor becomes very positive all of a sudden.

34. You just know

Sometimes you just have to trust your gut. That is really the only sign your girlfriend is cheating that can’t be explained away. With all of this, there are some things you shouldn’t do when looking for signs your girlfriend is cheating on you. 

Never look through her phone, computer, or her drawers. Not only is that an invasion of privacy, but it will also only drive you crazier and make you feel worse. We know you want the hard evidence. But going out of your way will only backfire on you and leave you more paranoid. [Read: How to follow your gut instinct – tried and true methods to follow]

Why did your girlfriend cheat?

If you’re pretty sure that you have a cheating girlfriend, you’re no doubt wondering why. What did you do wrong? How did everything go bad?

Firstly, you probably didn’t do anything wrong, but sometimes a major change in the relationship can push someone into cheating. It’s no excuse, but often, the following reasons can cause cheating:

1. She feels unappreciated and undervalued in the relationship

Of course, a much better course of action would be to communicate her needs and find a way through rather than cheating, but here we are. Many people say they cheated on their partner because they felt like their partner didn’t care.

2. She is trying to fulfill something that’s missing in your relationship

Again, a conversation would have been a better way to fix this! But, if she feels something is missing, maybe she’s trying to fulfill that with someone else because she thinks it’s just not coming her way with you. [Read: 20 relationship problems that push a couple apart or bring them closer]

3. She doesn’t feel supported and resorts to outside support

If your girlfriend doesn’t feel supported, it’s possible she has reached out to someone else for innocent support at first, but it could have turned into an emotional or sexual affair from there. It’s a common scenario and one that, once more, could have been fixed with communication.

Can you see the common thread here – communication is so vital in every single relationship. It can help to avoid disaster in so many ways. [Read: Emotional cheating and the bad things it can do to you]

How should you react to a cheating girlfriend?

Of course, the next step is to work out what you should do. Firstly, give yourself a moment to process the situation and assess how you feel about things. You’ll probably feel devastated, but jumping in to confront her with anger won’t help.

Give yourself a second, take a breath, and then see if any of the following methods help you to figure out your situation.

1. Calmly confront her and see if she tries to explain it away

Watch her carefully when you confront her. Check her body language and see if she denies it or tries to explain it away. Remember, at this point, you have signs, but you don’t have solid evidence and proof.

If she refuses to meet your eye, she uses defensive body language, such as putting her arms over her body defensively and she’s fidgeting; that’s not a good sign. [Read: Body language of a girl – 37 signs to instantly tell if she likes you]

2. Let her know you find cheating unacceptable and need space

If you know for sure that she’s cheating, tell her that you find her behavior unacceptable and you need some space to think carefully about what to do next and process it all.

You’ll probably have moments when you desperately want to reach out to her, but it’s vital that you give yourself the time you need to heal. If she’s serious about fixing things, and it’s what you want, she’ll give you the time and space you need. [Read: Need space in your relationship?]

3. Make a decision

Can you forgive her for cheating, or is it better that you go your separate ways? Regardless of which option you choose, don’t expect it to be easy. The road to regaining trust is a long and hard one, and leaving someone you love is just as difficult.

But you have to be honest with yourself and choose the route that you feel the most comfortable with deep down. If you’re always going to think back over her cheating, and it’s going to haunt you forever, you’re better off out of it.

However, if you feel you can work on things and overcome the challenges, that’s a route you can take too. [Read: How to say goodbye to someone you love and find closure and happiness]

Can a cheating girlfriend change?

We’ve all heard the old saying, “once a cheater, always a cheater,” but it’s not actually true. People can make mistakes, and people can change too. The fact that you have a cheating girlfriend right now doesn’t mean you’re always going to have one.

So yes, a cheating girlfriend can change, but only if:

1. She owns up to her actions and shows genuine remorse

If she refuses to confirm or denies all allegations completely, it’s just not going to work. She needs to own up to her actions and show you that she’s genuinely sorry.

Only then can you start to work through things and even begin to believe for a second that she won’t do it again. [Read: How to rebuild trust after a betrayal and look to the future]

2. She agrees to individual or relationship counseling

Agreeing to therapy or counseling shows that she’s willing to work through everything and make a positive change in her life. She should be willing to do this either as an individual or with you as part of relationship counseling.

If this isn’t a route either of you wants to go down, it’s vital that you’re open and honest with one another and have deep conversations to help keep those communication channels wide open.

3. She’s willing to do whatever it takes to rebuild the trust in your relationship

And she must know that it’s going to take time. Whatever you need to trust her again, she has to be open to doing it – but you shouldn’t put unfair demands on her either.

Remember, if you’re going to commit to rebuilding this relationship, it has to come from both of you. You cannot keep bringing up her cheating in future arguments. It has to stay in the past. [Read: Is it possible to learn how to regain trust after cheating?]

Cheating is more common than you think, but it destroys everything in its path

When you’ve been cheating on just once, your entire outlook on love and life changes. Your faith in trust is destroyed, and it takes a huge amount of time and effort to rebuild it. For some people, it never returns to how it was before.

Being cheated on can take a kindhearted, innocent person and turn them into someone who is bitter and cold. But, by taking the time you need and understanding the right decision for you, let’s hope you can avoid that outlook and look forward to a brighter future.

With or without your girlfriend.

[Read: To cheat or not to cheat? A guide to making up your mind]

Once a cheater, always a cheater, or does everyone deserve a second chance? No matter what your opinion, we hope you now have clarity on whether you have a cheating girlfriend or not.

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Vinod Srinivas Serai
Vin Serai
Vin Serai is the founder of LovePanky.com, and has delved deep into the working of love and relationships for almost two decades. Having dipped his feet in almo...