You know the old saying, good friends are like stars. Once you find a good friend, you don’t want to let them go. But like anything, it takes work.
I met my best friend while dancing at a club… who would have thought? Ever since then, we were inseparable. We talk all the time, send each other toilet selfies and share our daily encounters with lame guys. And that’s what friends are for!
Good friends are like stars – 18 ways this holds true
So, if you want to keep your friendship strong, you’re going to have to work on being a good friend. Listen, good friends are like stars. I know, you may be rolling your eyes at the corniness, but it’s true. So, you’re going to have to work at being a good friend. That’s right, you thought it was going to be easy? Love is hard work. Even in friendship.
So, what does it mean to be a true friend?
#1 Keep it honest. Honesty is really the best policy. What’s the point of having a friend if they’re not going, to be honest with you? These are the people you trust and vice versa, so, it’s your job as a friend, to be honest.
Now, if they ask you if they look fat, you don’t have to yell out “yes.” There’s a difference between being honest and being too brutally honest.
#2 Listen. Listening is an important skill that is lacking between people today. This is why relationships don’t work out and people go their separate ways – they’re not listening to each other.
Having a good friend is about being an active listener. When they’re down, listen. When they’re having a good day, listen. They want to share their life with you, and as a friend, you should be honored. [Read: How to be a better listener in your relationships]
#3 It’s a two-way street. Like all relationships, they consist of two people. So, that means if you want to be a good friend, you’ll have to give and take. You have to do your part as a friend so that they’re able to do their job too.
#4 Be there when you say you will. If you guys planned to go out on Friday night, show up. If they invited you to their college graduation party, show up. Good friends are friends who show up and support each other. A good friend is someone who is dependable. [Read: 5 unique traits that make a person trustworthy]
#5 Show a little shoulder. This is a huge way that good friends are like stars. If your friend’s going through a hard time, you have to be there. You need to be there. We all go through our ups and downs, so when you’re there for someone, they’ll be there for you. You don’t have to be the one to mend them up, but you can be the one to say, “It’s going to be okay.”
#6 Don’t overdo “love you.” You remember being in high school and everyone would hug each other at the end of the day and say, “love ya!” Yeah, okay, so they were probably lying. Don’t be the person who carelessly throws out the words, “love you.” It’s annoying and it reminds me of Regina George. A real friend says those words when they mean it. Yes, friends are like stars, but don’t get too mushy all the time.
#7 Pick your battles. There will be moments when your friend says something completely stupid or when they’re bossing you around. I know, that drives me crazy as well, but you can’t go attack everything they say. You need to pick your battles or else you may lose a friendship. [Read: How to fight fair in a relationship and grow closer]
#8 It’s not about self-interest. When you meet someone, you’re not trying to see what you can get out of them. That’s not the point of friendship. I mean, there will be people that will be trying to use you, but with a true friend that’s not the case. You like them for who they are, not for what they have.
#9 Be empathetic. You’re friends because you understand each other. So, that means you need to be able to place yourself in their shoes during difficult times. Empathy, people! Allow yourself to be vulnerable and understanding about their emotions. They’ll thank you when they’re feeling alone. [Read: Emotional maturity – 15 clues to know if someone has it]
#10 Don’t be a social media friend. I have a couple friends that are all about social media and when it comes to actually meeting up, they flake out. Don’t be that friend. Social media friends are boring and try to compensate by posting pictures of them at clubs, meanwhile, they’re just Snapchatting in the corner.
#12 Accept their flaws. Just accept them. They’re not perfect, hell, you’re also hella flawed. If you hate how they chew gum, well, then tell them instead of standing there in rage. But at some point, you’ll just have to accept the fact that they have poor chewing skills and move on with your life.
#13 No gossip. You cannot shit talk about your friend to other people. Just don’t do it. If you had a fight with them and you’re telling it to other people, it’s okay, but don’t try to knock them down. They’re your friend, and eventually, that shit will come out on the surface.
#14 Don’t flake. The only time you can flake out is if you’re honest with them. If you’re supposed to go out with them but then this hot guy asked you out, just tell your friend. Don’t play the sick card. Just tell them straight up. If you flake out with some lame excuse, you’ll be known as a flake, and well, people don’t like that. [Read: Got flaky friends? Here are all the reasons to ditch them right away]
#15 Support, support, support. Why have friends if they’re not going to support you in your goals and dreams? I mean, then why have friends? You could just be alone then if you don’t want support and love.
#16 Recognize why they’re your friend. Why do you consider them your friend? Is it that they’re funny? Are they kind? You need to know why they’re your friend. Why? Because there will be moments when you two will fight and disconnect. However, you need to recognize the positive qualities in them. [Read: Do you think alike? 20 questions to ask your best friend]
#17 Work off of each other’s strengths. You and your friend are a team. She may be crappy at organizing, however, that’s your strength. But, you’re not so good with communicating, while she’s a social butterfly. And together, you two create a killer combination.
Recognize your strengths and weaknesses and also your friend’s… that way you two can develop a stronger friendship.
#18 It’s not a competition. You’re not in competition with your friends. If they get a job, you’re not supposed to rush to get a better one. You let them do them, while you do you. If anything, the only person you should be competing with is yourself.