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34 Secrets to Calmly Deal with Haters, Rid their Negativity & Keep Your Zen!

Learning how to deal with haters without driving yourself crazy will free you from negativity and cruelty in your life. Remember—they’re only jealous!

how to deal with haters

How do we deal with haters? Well, let’s start with them. The haters. They’re like that one glitch in your favorite video game – annoying, unnecessary, and always popping up when you least expect them.

In today’s digital playground, where everyone is connected, haters have become as common as those endless selfies in our feeds. Whether it’s through snarky comments on social media, whispering in the hallways, or just that age-old pastime of throwing shade, dealing with haters is now part of the daily drill.

But here’s the thing: Why let the Debbie Downers and Negative Nancys ruin your day? Learning how to deal with haters is like mastering the art of ignoring that one broken headphone – sure, it’s there, but you can still enjoy your music. It’s an essential life hack for navigating the noisy, opinionated corridors of our online and offline worlds.

Imagine you’re strutting your stuff, feeling like the main character in your life’s movie, and suddenly, a wild hater appears, trying to be the unsolicited critic.

But instead of letting them direct your scene, you choose to keep your script hater-free. Because at the end of the day, your movie’s too good to be spoiled by a lousy review.

[Read: How to not be a pushover: what makes you one and how to take a stand]

What’s Up With Haters?

So, what’s up with haters? It’s like they have a special talent for raining on parades. But behind this facade of negativity, there’s some real psychology at play. Understanding these psychological quirks isn’t just about satisfying curiosity – it’s a key step in learning how to deal with haters effectively.

First off, let’s talk jealousy – the age-old emotion that’s as common as those awkward family photos on your mantle. It’s often the driving force behind haters.

Imagine: Someone sees your success, your style, or even your smile, and it’s like they hit a mental speed bump. Instead of feeling happy for you, they feel insecure about what they’re not. It’s like when you ace a test and your classmate can’t help but roll their eyes – classic jealousy. [Read: 25 signs to tell if someone is jealous of you and doesn’t wish you well]

Then, there’s the concept of Social Comparison Theory. It’s the idea that we determine our own worth by comparing ourselves to others.

It’s like constantly checking who has more likes or followers, turning life into an endless popularity contest. When haters see someone doing better, it’s like a red flag to their self-esteem bull.

Another player in the game is Displacement Theory. Sometimes, haters are just dealing with their own issues and, instead of addressing them, they throw that negativity your way.

It’s like when someone has a bad day at work and then snaps at the barista. You’re not the problem; you’re just the screen they’re projecting their issues onto.

Remember, haters are often wrestling with their own demons – whether it’s self-doubt, personal dissatisfaction, or just a bad day. So, the next time you encounter a hater, think of it as a misdirected cry for help, or maybe just a bad mood looking for an exit. [Read: 25 secret signs of a jealous friend and how to deal with their envy]

How to Deal with Haters the Right Way

If you’re dealing with negativity, whether it’s through snappy tweets or snide remarks at a party, it’s time to learn how to deal with haters and break free from their grip of gloom.

1. Develop a Thick Skin

Building emotional resilience is absolutely crucial in learning how to deal with haters. It’s all about seeing those negative comments as a reflection of the sender, not you.

Here’s the fun part: haters are like those annoying game bosses who try to throw you off with their special moves.

Their main aim? To trigger a reaction from you. But here’s where cognitive reframing enters the chat – you start to shift your perspective, viewing these comments as mere noise, not a personal attack. It’s about putting on that invisible armor, making their words bounce off without leaving a mark. [Read: How to not give a f*ck: A badass guide to less fucks & more laughs]

2. Limit Exposure to Them

Curating your social circle and social media feeds can significantly reduce negative interactions. Utilize block and mute functions online to keep haters at bay.

Unfortunately, in real life, we don’t have the luxury of a Black Mirror-esque block feature *though, how cool would that be?*.

But what you can do is curate your real-life social circle with the same care you apply to your social feeds. It’s about choosing to spend time with people who uplift and support you instead.

3. Positive Affirmations and Self-Care

Whenever what haters say starts to get under your skin, it’s time to break out your secret weapon: positive affirmations. [Read: Mantras to live by: 21 positive mantras that WILL transform your life]

Think of these as your personal pep talks. You can stand in front of a mirror and say things like, “I am awesome,” “I am strong,” or “I rock my own unique vibe.” It’s like giving yourself a high-five through words.

Pair this with some self-care rituals – whether it’s a chill spa day at home, jamming to your favorite tunes, or just taking a serene walk. These activities act like a mental reset button, washing away the hater vibes and keeping you in your happy zone.

It’s all about keeping your inner world peaceful, so when haters throw their best shot, you’re like, “Nice try, but I’ve got my shield of cool up.” [Read: How to take care of yourself emotionally and avoid falling apart]

4. Seeking Support

Another savvy way on how to deal with haters is by rallying your main squad – your friends, family, or even a trusty therapist.

They’re the ones who remind you of your awesomeness when you start to forget. It’s like having your own fan club, but better, because they know the real you and they’re there through thick and thin.

Whether it’s a heart-to-heart chat over coffee or a reassuring text message, their support can turn a blah day into a “bring it on” day. They help you shake off the negativity, rekindle your inner spark, and keep strutting your stuff with confidence.

5. Focus on Your Personal Growth

You know the best way to really get under your haters’ skin? Use their negativity as fuel for your personal growth. Every time they throw shade your way, turn it into a stepping stone for your own development. If there’s a nugget of useful feedback hidden in their comments, use it to better yourself.

It’s like taking the lemons they throw at you and making the best lemonade ever. Set personal goals, work on smashing them, and watch as your success becomes the sweetest reply.

It’s not just about proving them wrong, it’s about proving to yourself how capable, strong, and unstoppable you really are. Every step forward you take is like a polite nod to your haters, saying, “Thanks for the motivation!” [Read: 36 secrets to motivate yourself to achieve literally anything your heart desires]

6. Don’t Respond to Their Negativity

It’s the hardest thing in the world when you want to react to something and you have to bite your tongue. But, if you want to learn how to deal with haters in the most effective way, it’s something you have to do. When you fail to respond to someone’s cruelty, the power they intended to yield over you doesn’t exist.

Walking away with your head held high is the strongest thing you can do. Sure, it’s hard to do, but bite your lip, take a deep breath and put one foot in front of the other. [Read: How to stop negative people from sapping all your energy]

7. Be the Bigger Person

It might seem borderline impossible to be kind to someone who is being negative or cruel to you, but it will wind them up!

By being kind to everyone, even haters, you’re the bigger person. You’re refusing to sink down to their level. It will also show them that you’re not affected by their words, whether you are in reality or not.

By reacting, you’re giving haters what they want, so rise above it. Be the bigger person, and see how much it annoys them! [Read: Lessons to deal with judgmental people]

8. Understand Why Haters Hate in the First Place

When you understand why people say and do nasty things, you’ll have the power to learn how to deal with haters in the most effective way.

You’ll quickly learn that people who do and say these things are only reflecting back on themselves badly.

What they say and do is a total reflection of them. It has nothing to do with you at all. You just happen to be the one they’re choosing to focus their negativity on at this time.

The most common reason for being negative towards another person is jealousy, so in some ways, you could take it as a backhanded compliment! [Read: 15 signs of envious friends to recognize the harmful people in your life]

9. Talk About How You Feel

The most important thing when learning how to deal with haters is to know that you don’t just have to brush your feelings under the carpet. Talk to someone about how you feel, perhaps a close friend or a third party who isn’t involved.

Being the victim of a hater can be hard. Depending upon the level of the abuse you’re facing, it’s probably going to affect you on an emotional level in some way. Talk about it! Be open about your feelings. [Read: 16 signs of a jealous friend you may not always notice]

10. Never Change Who You Are

Remember, when people say mean things to you, it’s not because you’re a bad person or you’re terrible at what you do, it’s because someone else is jealous or they’re acting out for another reason.

Never change who you are because of the actions of a hater. This is the number one thing to remember when learning how to deal with haters.

By changing even slightly, you’re giving them what they want and need. Continuing to be you means that they’re not winning. [Read: How to recognize envious friends who subtly want to harm you]

11. Use Humor as a Defense

Imagine the look on your haters’ faces when they see that their attempts to bring you down just roll off you with a laugh. Using humor as a defense is like having an invisible cape that not only deflects their negativity but also turns it into something laughable.

When you respond to a snarky comment with a witty comeback or simply laugh it off, it shows that you’re in control and their words can’t touch you.

12. Reflect on the Feedback

We all know how awful it feels to be on the receiving end of haters’ comments – it’s like being in the splash zone of a mud-slinging contest.

But, take a moment to sift through what’s being said. Amidst the barrage of negativity, there might occasionally be a piece of constructive feedback hidden in there.

13. Stay Focused on Your Goals

Keep your eyes on your personal objectives. When you’re focused on your goals, the voices of haters become just background noise.

It’s like running a race with your eyes fixed on the finish line, not the hecklers on the sidelines. [Read: 27 secrets to focus on yourself, grow as a person & create your own sunshine]

14. Practice Empathy

Okay, we know this might not be the easiest thing to do, especially when it’s coming from those who are attacking you.

But hear us out: practicing empathy with haters can be a game changer. It’s about understanding that often, their negativity is more about them and their own issues, not you. This doesn’t make their behavior okay, but it gives you a different lens to view the situation.

It’s like realizing that the person throwing stones at you is actually stuck in their own quicksand of troubles. By responding with empathy instead of anger, you’re choosing not to jump into that quicksand with them. It’s about keeping your feet on solid ground, even when others are losing theirs. [Read: How to be more empathetic and secrets to make anyone feel understood]

15. Avoid Escalation

Dealing with haters? Here’s a pro tip: don’t turn up the heat. Think of it this way – if someone’s trying to start a fire, throwing more wood on it isn’t going to help.

Keep your cool, respond calmly if you must, and often, you’ll find the situation fizzles out all on its own. This strategy is all about staying chill and not letting the haters drag you into their storm.

16. Engage in Activities That Boost Your Confidence

Participate in activities that make you feel good about yourself. Whether it’s a hobby, exercise, or learning something new, these activities enhance your self-esteem and make you less vulnerable to haters.

17. Remember, It’s Not Personal

Here’s the biggest secret in the playbook on how to deal with haters: it’s usually not about you. That’s right, most of the time, their negativity is a reflection of their own issues, insecurities, or frustrations.

Knowing this can be a huge relief because it means you don’t have to take their words to heart. It’s like understanding that you’re just caught in their bad weather.

Once you grasp this, their words lose much of their sting, and you can brush them off with much more ease. [Read: High self-esteem: 33 low signs, what hurts self worth and secrets to pump it up]

The Impact of Haters on Our Well-being

Here’s the thing about having to deal with haters – it can really affect our mental and emotional well-being. It’s not just a minor annoyance, it’s like a series of challenges that can impact us in various ways.

Let’s dive into how constant exposure to negativity can take a toll on us, in ways we might not even realize at first.

1. Increased Stress Levels

Studies show that exposure to negativity, including online trolling and harsh comments, can spike our stress hormones. It’s like your brain is constantly in a ‘fight or flight’ mode, thanks to those keyboard warriors.

2. Growth of Self-Doubt

Constant criticism can plant seeds of doubt in even the most confident minds. This self-doubt, nurtured by haters’ remarks, can grow into a pesky weed, overshadowing your self-esteem. [Read: Overcoming self-doubt: 26 signs & best ways to stop doubting yourself]

3. Elevated Anxiety

Research links prolonged exposure to negative social interactions with increased levels of anxiety. It’s like carrying an invisible backpack filled with worries and fears, courtesy of haters.

4. Impact on Self-Esteem

The barrage of negativity from haters can erode your self-esteem. It’s like a slow drip of water, gradually wearing away at a rock – over time, even the strongest self-image can be affected.

5. Development of Trust Issues

Regular encounters with haters can make you question people’s intentions more often, leading to trust issues. It’s like constantly looking over your shoulder, wondering who’s going to throw the next verbal stone.

6. Feeling of Isolation

Facing a lot of hate, especially online, can lead to feelings of isolation and loneliness, as if you’re on an island surrounded by a sea of negativity.

7. Risks of Depression

Studies indicate that victims of sustained cyberbullying or hate can experience symptoms of depression. This emotional downpour can leave you feeling like you’re stuck under a dark cloud. [Read: Why we need to break down the stigma of mental illness]

8. Decreased Motivation

When haters chip away at your enthusiasm, it can lead to a significant drop in motivation. It’s like trying to run a race with invisible weights tied to your legs.

9. Sleep Disturbances

The stress and anxiety caused by dealing with haters can disrupt your sleep patterns. It’s like your mind decides to replay the day’s negative comments instead of hitting the snooze button.

10. Impact on Physical Health

The psychological stress from dealing with haters doesn’t just stay in your head; it can manifest physically, causing headaches, fatigue, or other stress-related ailments. [Read: Self-loathing: What it is, 25 signs and ways to stop hurting yourself]

When to Confront, When to Ignore

Dealing with haters isn’t just about having a toolbox of strategies, it’s also about knowing when to use which tool. This brings us to the crucial question: When should you confront haters, and when is it wiser to just ignore them?

1. Assess the Impact

Start by evaluating the impact of the negative comment or behavior. If it’s a one-off, trivial remark, it might be best to let it slide. It’s like deciding whether a mosquito bite is worth the hunt.

However, if the comment is damaging your reputation or causing significant emotional distress, it might warrant a response.

2. Consider the Source

Who is the hater? If it’s someone you’ll have to interact with regularly, like a coworker or family member, addressing the issue might be necessary.

If it’s an anonymous online troll or a distant acquaintance, ignoring might be the better path. [Read: 20 ways to tell someone they hurt you and see the pain they caused you]

3. Choose Your Battles Wisely

Not every negative comment deserves your time and energy. Ask yourself, “Is this really worth my attention?”

If engaging doesn’t serve any constructive purpose, it might be better to conserve your energy for more meaningful battles.

4. Use Assertive Communication

When you do decide to confront, do it with assertiveness, not aggression. This means expressing your feelings and standing your ground respectfully, without attacking the other person.

For example, you could say, “I understand your point of view, but I disagree for these reasons…” or “I feel upset when you say things like that. Can we discuss this calmly?”

These statements express your feelings and perspective without being confrontational or dismissive of the other person’s viewpoint. They convey your stance firmly yet respectfully, setting the tone for a constructive and respectful dialogue.

5. Set Clear Boundaries

Be clear about what is acceptable and what isn’t. Let the hater know their behavior or comments are not okay, and there are limits to what you will tolerate. [Read: 23 secrets to set personal boundaries & guide others to respect them]

6. Be Prepared for the Outcome

Confrontation can lead to various outcomes, and it’s essential to be prepared for them. Whether it leads to a resolution or further conflict, have a plan for handling the aftermath.

7. Know When to Walk Away

If confrontation leads nowhere, or if the hater becomes more aggressive, know when to step back. There’s no shame in walking away from a situation that’s going nowhere. It’s like choosing not to play a game that’s rigged against you.

Keep Your Head High!

It’s not always easy to have a tough skin, especially in a world where negativity can sometimes feel like the norm rather than the exception. Keeping your head high amid a sea of naysayers requires not just resilience but also an understanding heart.

Remember, haters often project their own insecurities and issues onto others. Recognizing this can help you navigate their negativity with a sense of empathy and perspective.

[Read: 44 stress-free ways to ignore someone and stop people from hurting you]

Learning how to deal with haters is about knowing why people hate in the first place. The world can be a negative place, but never allow it to change who you are or what you’re doing. You keep on doing you!

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Preeti Tewari Serai
Preeti Serai
Preeti, the founder of LovePanky, is an eternal optimist and believer in the beauty of love and life. With an exhaustive experience in love, relationships, and ...