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29 Signs Someone Is Detached & Doesn’t Care About You or Your Feelings

Does the person you’re dating seem emotionally detached? You need to learn the signs that they don’t care so that you can learn how to cope sooner.

signs someone doesnt care about you and is emotionally detached

Everybody’s been on a date where something didn’t feel right. The other person seemed distracted, or emotionally unavailable. In fact, they seemed downright emotionally detached. They were showing the typical signs of someone who doesn’t care about you.

Sometimes you don’t have to just feel it—they’ll literally run away from you, so you can see it isn’t going to go anywhere. But was that because you did something wrong? No, in fact, you did everything right. They simply weren’t ready.

Someone may like you, but the minute they start thinking about what the future with you will look like, they emotionally detach themselves. It’s not necessarily because of you. It’s usually because they’re simply not ready for a relationship, or they’re scared of being hurt.

Whatever their reasons, you need to know when the person you’re dating is emotionally detached. This feature will show you the signs someone doesn’t care about you, so you can feel free to move on.

[Read: How to lose feelings for someone and let go of the might-have-beens]

The signs that someone doesn’t care about you and is emotionally detached from you

Being with an emotionally detached person is exhausting. But you don’t need to give yourself to someone who gives you only the bare minimum of themselves.

Know the warning signs so that you can pull out of the situation before you’re head over heels for them. It stings, but it’s better than dragging things out. So here are the signs someone doesn’t care about you.

1. They’re not compromising

They only do what they want to do. If you don’t join them, they don’t care. And if you think they’re going to do what you want some time, don’t hold your breath for it. Anything that poses an inconvenience to them is already too much.

This is a huge sign they lack emotional maturity, something you don’t need to deal with. If their parents didn’t teach them that, then they need therapy. You’re not their mother. [Read: 13 clues to know if someone has emotional maturity]

2. You find yourself bashing them

They’re not giving you what you need emotionally and that’s frustrating you; that’s totally understandable! With this frustration, you find yourself bashing them, insulting them to their face, or behind their back.

If this was a healthy relationship, that would never happen. Of course, it’s normal for your partner to get on your nerves sometimes. But not to the point where you insult them for a reaction.

3. They find flaws in you

We all have flaws. But they dig through yours. Why? Because they don’t want to be emotionally involved with you.

If you’re flawed, it’s easier for them to rationalize why they could never be with you. You’re flawed, and they can find better. At least that’s what they think.

4. They’re too nosy

Invasive questions about sex and money show that someone is not emotionally available. They don’t actually like you, they’re just terrified of being cheated on or played, so they simply look for someone who follows their criteria—and they don’t care who that person is.

[Read: Lower your expectations – The best way to find love or complete BS?]

5. They don’t argue with you

To argue with someone, you actually have to care about them. However, if you can’t seem to get any emotion out of them, it’s because they don’t care.

When people argue, they’re emotional. But if you can’t even get this person to talk to you about something that’s bothering you, it’s over.

6. If they do, it’s all your fault

If you manage to have an argument with them, trust us, it’s going to be all your fault. No matter what you fought about, when it comes down to it, it will always be your fault. They’ll not be guilty of anything, even if it’s actually them that’s in the wrong.

7. They’re inconsiderate

They don’t ask if you’re hungry or if you need a ride to work when you missed your bus. Though these things may not seem important, they are. They show that this person cares about you.

But if they’re not going out of their way to do anything for you, that’s a sign someone doesn’t care about you. [Read: The ultimate most telling signs it’s time to give up on a relationship]

8. They seduced you into the relationship

How did this relationship come about? Usually, emotionally detached people are very good at seducing others. Why? Because they don’t care.

If your relationship happened very quickly, it doesn’t mean that they’re emotionally connected to you. Remember, seduction is about conquering and gaining power over another as quickly as possible.

9. They don’t define what you two are

Are you two dating? Just having sex? What are you two?

Now, you don’t need to have a label. However, it’s nicer to know if they’re having sex with other people or not, right?

If they’re not willing to tell you what you two are or they don’t want to commit, they’re not willing to emotionally invest in you. That’s a clear sign someone doesn’t care about you.

10. You don’t talk about emotions

Do you two ever sit down and have deep conversations about your relationship or your feelings for each other? You may have had those talks, but now, your conversations are as shallow as a kiddie pool.

If you try to bring your feelings up, do they dodge the topic? That’s a sign.

11. The sex is lacking

Sex is a huge part of a relationship. Now, they could still be having sex with you but it’s probably a little different. They may not be kissing you or the sex could be becoming rougher or shorter.

You’re the only one who knows what the sex is like with this person, so if you feel a switch, there’s a reason why. [Read: 18 critical signs of an unhealthy relationship]

12. There ain’t no affection

People who become emotionally detached tend to suddenly stop any displays of affection. They don’t hug you, kiss you—nothing. That’s because they simply don’t care about you. It sounds brutal, but it’s true.

13. They’re secretive about what they do

Maybe they were once open with you about their plans. But if now they don’t tell you what they’re doing this weekend, or they flip their phone over when they leave a room.

If your date used to leave their phone unlocked, but now they protect it with eight different passwords, be aware. There’s nothing that they need to hide if it was just you in the picture.

14. No talks about the future

If you mention the future, there’s a huge silence followed by a bunch of stuttering or the TV turning on. This doesn’t just mean the long-term future, either.

If they cannot even commit to next weekend, this is a red flag that they don’t even know if they’ll be with you by then.

So, that’s a pretty strong hint that you should see they’re not emotionally investing in you. [Read: How to fall out of love when you see no future]

15. This is the first three to five months of dating

Well, sorry to break it to you but research shows most relationships end between the first three to five months.

This is usually when people decide what they want and if this relationship is something to invest in. So, if this is something new, there is a higher chance of these signs showing every now and then.

16. They don’t really know you

No matter how hard you’ve tried to get to know them, they still don’t know who you are. They don’t know your favorite song, your favorite movie, or even your favorite food. If they get you a gift, it’s something you would never have asked for if you had a choice.

These are all signs they’re not emotionally engaged enough to get to know who you really are.

17. They keep canceling plans

They always blow you off. Not in a sexy way—in a disappointing way. Every time you make plans to meet up, they let you down by calling things off. When they give you a reason, if they even bother, it’ll be lazy and unconvincing.

Somebody who always cancels plans doesn’t respect you and doesn’t care about you.

18. You’re not included in their social life

They’re not interested in introducing you to their friends. And that’s because they’re not really interested in you. If you’re not included in their social life, it’s a sign someone doesn’t care about you.

They’re trying to stop you from getting too involved in their social circle, so they don’t have to explain things to their friends when they finally ghost you.

[Read: The key relationship stages all couples go through in every relationship]

19. They’re never there during difficult times

Sometimes, you’ll go through tough times. Everybody does, and it’s not healthy to depend totally on your partner to make you feel better. However, the whole point of a relationship is to give each other love and support.

If they’re never there for you in difficult times, it’s because they don’t really want to have a relationship.

20. They never seem happy for you

When you achieve something, they don’t really care. You can give them a whole celebration for every little thing they do, but that still won’t make them bother to seem happy for you.

If they never feel anything when they see you happy, that’s because they are emotionally detached. That’s a serious sign someone doesn’t care about you.

21. They don’t show respect while talking to you

Do they often look at their phone when you’re talking to them? Or do they never say much more than “yeah, I guess”? Someone who doesn’t show respect while talking to you is someone who doesn’t care about you.

You deserve somebody who actually cares about what you have to say. So this is a major warning sign.

Read: When to define the relationship – 20 signs it may be right now]

22. They cheat on you

This is the ultimate sign someone doesn’t care about you. They’re having sex with somebody else, while still giving you the impression that you could have something between you. Cheating doesn’t just mean sleeping around, however.

There is such thing as emotional cheating, or having an emotional affair. This is when somebody emotionally engages with someone who isn’t their partner while detaching from the person they’re supposed to love.

If they’re emotionally detached, they could be emotionally cheating. Either way, they don’t care about you.

23. They don’t care to remember important dates

They always forget your birthday. And your anniversary. Or even the day when you’re supposed to be meeting up. In short, they don’t care to remember important dates. It doesn’t matter how significant these dates are.

The point is that they’re significant to you, and your partner isn’t emotionally engaged enough to care.

24. They’re always “busy” and unavailable

This is a similar tactic to canceling things. Whenever you want to hang out, your partner will mysteriously be “busy” and unavailable.

They don’t just have a super exciting life. They’re making excuses to avoid doing things with you because they don’t actually care about you.

25. They don’t ask for your opinion

If they really respected and cared about you, they’d value what you think about things. However, they don’t care about you. So instead, they don’t care enough about your opinion to ask for it.

If your partner never looks to you for advice, it’s because they’re so emotionally detached they don’t care to know what you think.

[Read: Serial cheater? Signs you’re dating someone who loves cheating]

26. They have no interest in your life

Noticing a pattern yet? Someone who doesn’t care about you isn’t going to be interested in you. They won’t be interested in your thoughts, they won’t be interested in your opinions, and they won’t be interested in your life.

To be interested in something, you have to care about it. If they don’t care about you… you get the picture!

27. They never get jealous

They are okay with your closeness with other men or women. Most people will get jealous if their partner gets some attention from the opposite sex. They don’t want somebody else taking their lover away.

However, your partner doesn’t care if they lose you, so they never get jealous.

28. They abuse you

This is the most serious sign someone doesn’t care about you. If they abuse you mentally, verbally, or emotionally, they don’t care. And you definitely shouldn’t spend any more time around them.

So, don’t tolerate any abuse from your partner. You deserve to be loved and respected, not treated badly.

29. Your happiness is irrelevant to them

This is the ultimate disrespect. If someone doesn’t care about you, your happiness is irrelevant to them. They’re still in the selfish, emotionally detached state of mind where they feel no empathy for you.

This means that when you’re happy, they feel nothing. So they won’t ever make the effort to make you smile.

[Read: How not to catch feelings for someone – 35 ways to do it right]

What to do with signs someone doesn’t care about you

There are a number of things you can do if you see signs that someone doesn’t care about you. The most important one is simple: dump them. There’s no point wasting your time on someone who isn’t willing to emotionally engage.

As we’ve already said, the whole point of a relationship is to give each other love and support. If they’re not interested in giving you that love, then you shouldn’t give it to them.

Instead, you should put your energy into finding somebody who wants the same things out of the relationship as you do.

Of course, not everybody wants a serious, committed relationship. You might just be looking for no-strings sex, and an uncommitted relationship is a great opportunity to have that casual fun. Perhaps consider how you could go about this relationship in a different, less serious way.

You might find it liberating not to have to emotionally invest in your partner. Especially if they’re never planning to invest in you.

However, make sure you know the signs someone doesn’t care about you. If you know how your partner really feels, you’ll be better equipped to make a decision about your future together.

[Read: Selfish people – 15 ways to spot and stop them before they hurt you]

If these signs that someone doesn’t care about you match with your current relationship—it’s time you dumped them. For sure, you’ll be sad. But you’re worth much more than someone who gives you nothing.

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Vinod Srinivas Serai
Vin Serai
Vin Serai is the founder of LovePanky.com, and has delved deep into the working of love and relationships for almost two decades. Having dipped his feet in almo...