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Fair-Weather Friends: 14 Signs Your Friend Doesn’t Care About You

Signs Your Friend Doesn't Care About You

Our friendships are vital to us, but if you’re noticing signs your friend doesn’t care about you, it’s time to wave goodbye.

A good friend is there for you through the hard times and right beside you celebrating when things go well. However, a fair-weather friend is someone who is only there when it suits them. There are various degrees of friendship, but it’s important to understand the signs your friend doesn’t care about you. Then, you can be aware and clear out the toxic people in your life from time to time.

Never put up with poor behavior in the name of friendship. If they really cared, they wouldn’t treat you this way. However, that doesn’t mean you should cut them out of your life without giving them a chance to redeem themselves.

[Read: Here’s how to deal with the fake friends in your life]

The clearest signs your friend doesn’t care about you

Communication is key when you see the signs your friend doesn’t care about you. If that doesn’t change anything, do not be afraid to wave goodbye and move on.

#1 They often talk behind your back. There is nothing worse than a two-faced friend who says one thing to your face and another behind your back. A true friend never speaks badly of you when you’re not around. If anything, they should be building you up! If you have proof that someone regularly talks behind your back, it’s one of the signs your friend doesn’t care about you. [Read: Emotional manipulation and 14 ways people mess with your head]

#2 Always talking over you and not letting you speak. Is there anything more annoying than someone who always has to be heard? If you’re talking, they speak over you. If you want to say something, they jump in so you don’t get the chance. They basically need to be the center of attention.

It’s rather pathetic, while also showing you zero respect. The next time this happens, call them out on it and say “I’m speaking, be quiet.”

#3 They don’t stick up for you. If someone talks about you and you’re not there, a good friend would defend you at all times. However, one of the signs your friend doesn’t care about you is when they either don’t defend you and let the chat carry on, or they join in. Either way, they’re a bad friend. [Read: 15 signs you have shitty friends and need new ones]

#4 Embarrasses you in front of other people. You must have experienced this before. You’re in a group of people and your so-called friend cracks a joke at your expense. If this is something you can all laugh at, you included, it might not be so hurtful. When a so-called friend is doing this to embarrass you or belittle you, it’s not only one of the signs your friend doesn’t care about you, but basically a sign of someone who doesn’t deserve the term “friend” in the first place.

#5 They’re always on their phone when you’re supposed to be spending time together. If this happens just once or twice, it’s forgivable. But if your friend is always on their phone when you’re supposed to be having friend time, it’s downright disrespectful. They’re just not present in the moment and shows that they don’t deem you important enough to choose over their social media feed.

#6 They never help you celebrate. If you succeed at something or something goes well for you, is your friend there by your side, patting you on the back? Hopefully, yes. However, if they’re not, it basically means that they don’t care about the things that go well for you. The chances are that when things go badly for you, they always want the gossip. Another sign of a pretty bad friend. [Read: How to deal with someone’s negative traits and attitude]

#7 They never encourage you to go for what you want. A good friend will encourage you to try new things and push you to go for the things they know you want. However, one of the signs your friend doesn’t care about you is when they discourage you or tell you that it wouldn’t work or it’s a waste of time. Basically they’re scared you’re going to do better than them.

#8 They love to knock you down. If you’re feeling good or something has happened which makes you smile, they’ll just love to knock you down and make you feel bad again. This is one of the huge signs your friend doesn’t care about you, and it’s not something you should tolerate.

#9 They never help you out, even if you ask. A good friend will help you out when you ask, and you probably don’t even have to ask. However, a bad friend will make all the excuses in the world or simply just not get the hint. If that’s the case, they’re not only unreliable, but they’re not showing you care and attention either.

#10 They make false promises. In the rare off-chance that your friend agrees to help you with something, they let you down. Or, it could be that you arrange to do something together and they know you’re looking forward to it, but they cancel right at the last minute, leaving you floundering. It’s pretty bad form and one of the signs your friend doesn’t care about you, for sure. [Read: 15 signs a friend is using you and draining the happiness out of you]

#11 They refuse to apologize even when they know they’re wrong. A bad friend never says “sorry” because they don’t think you deserve the apology. In reality, you deserve it, but they’re just not a good enough friend to do the right thing. Never put up with a friend who constantly does something wrong and refuses to acknowledge it, even when faced with clear evidence.

#12 They love to steal your thunder. A bad friend has to be the center of attention at all times. So, when something goes well for you, they’re likely to go one better and steal your thunder. They just can’t stand the thought of you gaining plaudits. And they do something which makes them look better. Sad, right?

#13 Your calls and messages often go unanswered for a long time. They either leave you on read and don’t reply, or they wait a considerable amount of time before relying. I’m not suggesting they should drop everything and answer straightaway, but leaving you waiting means that they simply don’t deem your message important enough to acknowledge.

#14 They disrespect your feelings. Belittling your feelings, not acknowledging your feelings, or basically disregarding them are all signs your friend doesn’t care about you. If you feel something, it’s valid and should be respected. A friend should be there for you through thick and thin, and if this one isn’t, they don’t deserve your time. [Read: The 13 truthful signs that say your friend doesn’t respect you]

What to do now?

How many of these signs can you nod along to? Hopefully not too many, but if you have more than a few and they are regular occurrences, it’s something you must draw attention to and work out.

It could be that your friend is going through a hard time. Maybe they simply aren’t aware of what they’re doing. It happens to us all from time to time. In that case, a gentle, blame-free conversation should be all you need to solve the problem. However, if that doesn’t work and they continue to act in the same way, seriously consider whether you want or need this person in your life.

[Read: Respectful tips for how to break up with a friend]

These signs your friend doesn’t care about you are all pretty damning. If it happens consistently over a period of time, it’s time to wave your hand goodbye to these fair-weather friends and move on.

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Nicky Curtis
Nicky Curtis
Having stumbled from one relationship drama to another throughout her 20s, Nicky is now somewhat of a guru in the crazy world of life and love. Telling it how i...

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