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How to Make Real Friends Outside Your Social Networks

how to make friends

A good group of friends can make life a lot more enjoyable and fun. Find out how to make friends and meet people who’d love to spend time with you.

Life is all about memories.

More than what you achieve in life, how you remember the journey can make your life feel more meaningful and fun.

And to create wonderful memories that last a lifetime, you need friends who share your interests and thirst for life.

When you have great friends to laugh out with, the world can feel like a much better place.

But at the same time, when you’re all alone, even your biggest achievements can feel rather small.

[Read: The real reason why your friends are drifting away from you]

How to make friends that last

We’re all surrounded by people we know in our lives.

But how many true friends do you really have?

And how many of these friends can you spend an entire day with and still have an awesome time?

Facebook friends are just numbers.

If that list of people is who you call your friends, well, then you’re a pretty lonely person.

After all, life can be pretty lonely for the ones with few friends, or for the ones who have a lot of friends but don’t share anything in common with them.

Finding the right friends

If you’re feeling lonely or feel like you have friends that don’t get along with you and your ideas, don’t give up. [Read: Signs you have bad friends around you]

There are so many people out there who’d love to be your friend, just as long as you look in the right places.

Do you feel like no matter where you look, you still find yourself feeling lonely?

Well, that’s all about to change right now. Use these tips and you’ll be able to create a memorable life that’s full of fun and happy time.

The friendly personality that attracts friends

Some people draw new friends like moths to a flame, while some others end up repelling any potential friends who may come their way. If you’re having a hard time meeting new friends, here are a few personality traits you need to look into.

#1 Be cheerful. No one likes a mopey person. If you want to meet new friends, you need to appear cheerful and happy all the time. Happy people always attract other happy people.

#2 Don’t be aloof. Don’t be snotty or walk around like you’ve got dung under your nose. You’d end up making people stay away from talking to you, either because you seem too mean or too intimidating.

#3 Don’t be negative. When you feel negative about yourself or your life, you’d spread an aura of negativity around yourself. Try to look at the bright side of every situation and stop thinking the world is against you. [Read: Is your negative thinking ruining your life?]

#4 Don’t be someone you’re not. Everybody hates a wannabe. If you’re funny, be funny. If you’re the quiet type, stay quiet and talk when you’re being spoken to. Don’t change who you are just to fit in. You’d seem like a phony.

#5 Be open to continuing conversations. Don’t give closed answers with no options to continue the conversation. If someone asks you something, end the line with your answer and say something like “…what do you think?” or something else that gives the other person a chance to continue the same conversation for longer.

#6 Be confident about who you are. No one likes nervous nelly. It’s completely acceptable to feel lonely. Just don’t let that make you feel like an underachiever. Just because you haven’t met the right friends yet doesn’t make you a bad person.

#7 Dress well. First impressions are everything. A clean, well dressed person who looks great makes a perfect first impression. [Read: 25 tips to look really cute at first sight]

How to become a better you who’s loved by all

Before you try to make new friends, you need to correct your flaws. There must be a reason behind why friends stay away from you. Perhaps you say the wrong thing or behave like a weirdo at times. Use these tips to overcome your flaws and become a better you.

#1 Why have you had a hard time meeting friends so far? Ask yourself this question and see if you can answer yourself convincingly. And no, saying “I don’t know” is not an answer!

#2 How do people respond to you when you make a conversation? Try to recollect their behavior. When you talk to someone, do they appear uneasy or awkward, or do they end up looking around the room when you speak? You’re coming across as a bore! [Read: 13 ways to be charming and liked by everyone]

#3 Do your friends drift away from you over time? If this is the case, you may come off as a great person to begin with, but the things you do once the friendship is forged may make your friends want to stay away from you.

#4 Do you feel awkward when you spend time with your friends? If you do, big chances are, they’re feeling really awkward to be around you too!

#5 Get yourself a role model. It’s time to fix yourself up. Don’t change who you are, but try to find small ways to become a better you with the help of a role model. [Read: How to use a role model to become a better guy]

#6 Speak to your family or close friends, and ask them for a frank opinion about your behavior. Don’t stop them midway or argue with them when they criticize you. Hear them out completely. You may not realize it, but you may have a lot of flaws that you didn’t know of.

#7 Don’t be disheartened. You can’t get along with everyone. Some people may like loudmouths while others prefer people who are stuck up and snotty. If you’ve genuinely understood and corrected your flaws and are still unable to meet the right friends, perhaps, you’re looking in the wrong places.

Where can you meet friends?

Now that you’re a better you, we’ll get to making new friends. So how do you go about it? Just use these tips on how to make friends and you’ll be able to meet some great ones in no time.

For most of us who work all day, making time to find new friends isn’t easy. But it’s definitely possible.

#1 Online communities. Online communities always have regular meetups where you can meet likeminded people who share your passions and interests. You may think only losers or people with a lot of free time spend hours every day in communities, but you’d be very wrong. Sometimes, forums have the most interesting people who are eagerly looking to build connections with likeminded people.

#2 Join a club. Do you have a hobby that you’re passionate about? It doesn’t matter if it’s trekking, mountaineering, dance, working out, or even cooking. These days, there are classes for everything. Join a club or a class where you can pursue your passion. There will be several others who share your interests and may warm up faster to you. [Read: 10 ways to get anyone to like you immediately]

#3 Vacation time. Go on a backpacking vacation around your countryside. You’ll find several other people who would be spending a few days with you. It’ll give you enough time to bond with others even if you’re a rather shy person. [Read: Do guys like shy girls and find them attractive?]

#4 Find circumstances. It’s easier to talk to someone on a one on one basis when you’re stuck in a shared situation like while waiting in a queue, at a receptionist desk, or even while watching a game at a bar. [Read: 15 easy conversation starters you can use with a guy]

#5 Get out there. Initiate conversations, make small talk using the circumstances, introduce yourself after a sentence or two, join in on interesting conversations without butting in or intruding. Take a chance. You really have nothing to lose, do you?

#6 Eat alone in a public place. If you don’t have too many friends around, well, you are probably going to be having your lunch alone. But don’t sit in a corner table where no one can see you. Sit down right in the middle of a huge table which has space for many others. By doing that, you’re creating circumstances to talk to others who may eventually share your table with you.

#7 Be more warm in your workplace. A workplace provides a lot of opportunities to make new friends. If your own colleagues are cold towards you, fret not. Be warm and try to find ways to speak to people from other departments. Perhaps, there may be many others who may love your company.

Things you shouldn’t do with a new friend

Now, if you use these tips, you’d definitely be able to make new friends. But making a new friend is only half the battle won. You need to build the friendship on a solid foundation. Here are a few things you need to keep in mind once you get to know someone better.

#1 Don’t stalk your new friend. Don’t get overfriendly right at the beginning. If both of you hit it off instantly, good for you. But during all other times, give enough space or your new friend will end up getting annoyed with your sticky attitude.

#2 Don’t impose on them. Return a call for every call of your friend. Don’t overdo it. If a new friend is ignoring you, give them more space. Call a few times if you really like someone, but if they hang up quickly or don’t bother returning the favor, get the hint.

#3 Don’t create awkward situations. Don’t bring up conversations that’ll leave everyone around uncomfortable. Why are you avoiding me? How much do you earn? These are never good questions, no matter how long you know a friend.

#4 Try meeting up now and then. Ask this friend if they’d like to catch up over a drink. If they’re busy one week, ask again the next. But if they’re busy again, the odds of becoming good friends may be slim. [Read: How to network at a party and meet more friends]

#5 Phase the friendship. Don’t get too close too soon, or expect everyone to warm up immediately towards you. A friendship is like an onion. It has to be peeled layer by layer.

How to build a better bond with your friends

It takes an initiative to build a better bond and share a stronger friendship. If you’ve met a few friends whose company you enjoy, keep these tips in mind to build a better bond with them.

#1 Share your life. Open up to them and they’ll open up to you. It’s a reflex action. Just don’t get too personal or say something that’ll make your new friend want to run away.

#2 Be a friend in need. If your new friend is in need of some help, be there to offer it. They’ll always remember a friend who’s ready to offer help. But at the same time, don’t be a doormat or offer to help someone when you really can’t. Some friends may be opportunists who’ll extract all the help from you and walk away. Help someone only if you really can, without affecting your own life negatively. [Read: 13 signs your friends are ruining your relationships]

#3 Don’t be needy. Ask for a favor when you really need it, and feel they can help you out. Just because a new friend is in a better position than you doesn’t mean you should constantly ask for favors or help.

#4 Stay connected online. In this fast paced world we live in, it’s not easy to meet in person all the time. Stay connected via a social network and keep in touch with each other. It’s easier and as long as both of you have similar passions or ideas, it’ll bring both of you closer and build a better friendship.

Even if you meet just a few new friends, over a few weeks, these new friends could introduce you to many more friends of theirs which will open up your own new circle of friends. And who knows, you might just meet a cute somebody who can’t stop sneaking glances at you! [Read: Why a guy best friend is nothing but trouble for you]

Remember, you’re lonely, but you’re not the only one.

The more we make this world a smaller place with social networks and online friends, the more we get lonely in real life.

Even people with a lot of friends or connections in the online world could be spending miserably lonely Sunday afternoons by themselves. The faà§ade that’s portrayed by popular people may be a far cry from their real lonely world.

Make an effort to meet someone. They may want to meet you too. They may just have no idea about making the first move. [Read: How to be nice and loved by all instantly]

And when you find someone you can get along with, chances are, they’ll be really excited to meet you too. So stay positive, go out there and let the world see you for the great company you really are.

[Read: How to be graceful and elegant when you’re around others]

Still wondering how to make friends? Step out of your little, lonely world and look around. There’s a whole world of people waiting excitedly to meet a special someone just like you!

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Alison Ricard
Alison Ricard
Alison Ricard loves sunshine, good books and contagious laughter. And when she isn’t writing, you’ll find her sitting in a café, people watching and commun...
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6 thoughts on “How to Make Real Friends Outside Your Social Networks”

  1. Jack says:

    I tried a lot of what was listed but people just don’t care about me no matter what I do. I’m down to earth and treat people good and I’m clean and etc.

    This is an example, it’s a story is about a group to play board games. I found a group to meet up with in an online ad. We had 7 people in total. We basically met up once per week to play games and for a few hours. The first two guys in the group dropped out making up excuses. The other guy was horrible he insulted us, made fun of us, degraded us so we stopped playing with him. Then it was down to four of us. My girlfriend and I were left and the other couple. Well they could not get enough of us even asking to play games more and more. Then they got really distant. I don’t understand why I made sure I was polite, was funny, clean, brought snacks bascially all that good stuff. They started canceling and lied about why they were canceling because they’d say stuff like “I’m sick I can’t play this week” but then she’d show pictures of herself getting drunk online, or another time road trip to a mall etc. She brought two new people into the group she worked part time work with and we met them, one guy was apathetic and acted and said things like the type of person you’d see on the news as a cult leader, scary person, the other seemed alright. Well two weeks before Christmas they told us they did not want to play for awhile but it seems like they are hanging out with the other two people. I always thought Christmas was a time for family and friends so I guess they don’t consider us friends like the other two.

    I did all the stuff in the article but it seems like it does not work. I read a psychology article that people like others who are rude and nasty so I’m starting to think maybe i should have been like that. Maybe I should have just shown up in PJ’s, not showered, been rude to everyone and stuck up and insult them and bring no snacks? Being a decent caring good person did not work. I tried everyone on your list as well it just comes natural to do all of that.

  2. Dan says:

    These are great tips for just expanding your social circle, but few of them will actually lead to lasting friendships. The key to a lasting friendship is a shared interest and a common bond. This is exactly why a lot of people need to ditch the bar scene and branch out into more personalized clubs. When you’re involved with something you actually care about, then you can rest assured that the quality of people you’ll meet will be higher since they’re coming to the club with the same sort of mindset. It’s a win win for everyone involved. Good read otherwise.

  3. Lucas Simon says:

    Being a nice caring good person never works. Because as you experienced, everyone is a selfish nasty jerk deep down. Its pretty much impossible to find real friends nowadays.

  4. Franklin says:

    I have this inherent trait that makes everyone like me and I’ve never had problems making friends or connecting with people. I have always been successful in making relationships with my friends last and they are my friends til this day. I try to focus on creating deep bonds and try to stay away from superficial crap that really gets people irritated but they just can’t say it because they don’t want to hurt your feelings. True friends, regardless of how it may hurt you, tell you the truth and that’s how you create a really deep bond of friendship. I just stay away from people who are inherently superficial and get along with people who have meaning to their lives and make rational decisions instead of the typical teen. I am for maturity in friends with a slight immaturity complex if need be because it’s so much fun when you act like a child sometimes but in moderation. You should know how to handle the serious stuff and help your friends get past through some of their serious problems. When you get friends that really stick by you, consider yourself blessed because that is pretty rare to find and just like any plant, you have to really take care of it in order to grow. Friendship is indeed like that. you have to water it everyday and give it some sunshine so that the relationship would grow and all of you can have more fun without having a skin-deep relationship.

  5. Partney says:

    I have always made friends easily and until now that I am in my mid 30s, I still get a lot of friends. I have a lot of friends that sometimes I feel really bad that I can’t all invite then when I have a party. Speaking of parties though, I have had this party when I turned 30. I really wanted to invite EVERYONE I KNOW. Absolutely everyone and yes, I even invited all the kids that I knew. I got so drunk that night and the venue was really really big. Everyone had a really great time as well. Most of us got really drunk and you know what happens when a lot of people get drunk. WE HAD A HUGE ORGY. SEX PARTY OF THE YEAR. What a way to start my 30s, huh? We all went at each other. The sad part was, 1/3 of all the people that went to my party all developed STDs. Apparently, most of my friends had sexual diseases and passed it on. Luckily, I disn’t get anything. There were also a lot of girls that got pregnant. I can say about 20, maybe? I bet they would really be embarrased to tell their child when they ask them how they were made. LOL. Anyway, the important thing was I made my 30th birthday memorable and all my friends would remember it forever.

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