Why Men Pull Away: 12 Reasons Why He’s Distant & What You Can Do

If I had a penny every time I heard a woman ask me why men pull away, well, let’s say, I’d be Beyonce rich right now. Let’s end this question.

why men pull away

They say, write what you know. I could have written a trilogy on this topic, but, it’s best that I keep it short and to the point. Why men pull away is a great question. Why do they? I’ve been left at airports, and I’ve had guys literally run away from me. I was rejected after traveling across the world to see one guy.

So, ladies, you’re asking someone who has asked herself this question more times than I’ve gone on Tinder dates.

Why men pull away – The truth you need to hear

After much research *borderline mental insanity*, I discovered why men pull away: they’re pussies.

I’m sorry if you’re a guy and happen to read this, but it’s true. I mean, I shouldn’t lump men all under one category because some men have different reasons for pulling away, but, this is the only rationalization that makes sense to me. Either that or I’m insane. And let me tell ya, I’m fine, oh yes, I’m all right.

Okay, okay, I know you’re sitting there, nodding your head in agreement, but this isn’t enough of an answer. You need something deeper, more concrete. That “it’s not you, it’s me” line may not be complete bullshit.

#1 You’re a risk. You’re a risk for him. If he chooses to be with you, who knows what will happen. I know, not much will happen, but for men, it’s a big deal. Maybe he sees how amazing you are and realizes if he chooses you, he’s done. You’ll be it for him.

Though for women, we can handle that, men can’t. They have this fear of missing out and this causes them to not go for the girl that’s perfect for them. [Read: All the reasons why chasing a guy never helps]

#2 He’s feeling pressured. Men can’t handle pressure. I don’t care what they say, any ounce of pressure and they freak out. It’s true. If you pester him to propose to you or to meet your parents, stop. This is only going to push him further away.

What you need to do is bring it up once and then don’t bring it up again. Men need extra time to think things through. So, stop pressuring him and let him process it on his own. [Read: How to text a guy without seeming desperate and overly needy]

#3 He’s stressed. Men easily become preoccupied with school or work. I know, women, handle a bunch of different issues on one plate, but not guys. When something bothers them, it takes over their minds. If you think it could be this, back off a bit and relieve some pressure from him, let him fix his issues.

#4 There’s no chase. Men love being chased and chasing women. It’s all a game. Now, if you two are together, the chase is done—he won. But now, he’s bored. Plus, he also knows that no matter what, you’ll be there when he needs you. So, he’s pulling away to put you on the side burner until he needs you. So, you’re going to have to make sure he doesn’t get you. [Read: 25 awesome ways to keep a guy hooked and happy in love]

#5 He’s not sure if you’re the one. Why men pull away? Well, here’s another crazy one. He’s not sure. He likes you, he thinks you’re amazing, but he’s just not sure if you’re the one for him. I know, it’s stupid.

We’ve all been here with someone and for most of us, we don’t understand why someone would put another person through this. But, it happens. I once confessed my love to a guy and he told me he wasn’t 100% sure *which to this day I think is a lame excuse, but whatever*. He’s pulling away because he thinks if you’re the one and if this is his reaction, he’s not the one for you.

#6 You were not a priority. You weren’t someone he saw being with on a serious level. Sure, he likes hanging out with you and having sex with you, but this wasn’t supposed to become something intense. If he never treated you like a priority or he’s now treating you as an option, you need to cut him as soon as possible. [Read: Why you should never make someone a priority when you’re only an option to them]

#7 He wants to break up with you. I experienced this. I was living with my boyfriend and for two weeks, he stopped kissing me. He stopped wishing me a good day at school. You know, all these small things that slowly piled up on each other.

Then, two weeks later, he told me he wanted to break up with me. He was obviously pulling away and I thought it was another girl—which it was. So, it could be a combination of reasons.

#8 He’s seeing someone else. This is usually another great reason why he’s pulling away. Okay, they’ll be other signs. For example, he’ll become secretive, he’ll stop touching you, and having sex with you. Now, if he’s also acting distant on top of these signs, then there’s a good chance that you’re not the only one. Before you get played like a fool, ask him.

#9 He doesn’t feel wanted but rather needed. Men want to feel desired and wanted, right? Same as women, we want a guy to desire us. Now, when someone stops feeling desired and starts feeling needed, it’s different.

Feeling needed adds responsibility to a situation that they may not be ready for. Feeling needed also makes the situation permanent and can freak anyone out. It’s like he feels once he’s in it, he can’t get out. [Read: 13 signs he wants a relationship but is scared]

#10 You two are on different pages. Maybe he doesn’t see you as someone to have a serious relationship with. Meanwhile, you prepare to introduce him to your family. See what I mean? You two aren’t on the same page and if he sees this ahead of time, this could be why he’s pushing on the brakes. He’s not ready to commit. If this is the case, he’s going to calm down the situation by backing off.

#11 He’s no longer attracted to you. If he’s pulling away from you, no longer sleeping with you, or showing you affection, it could be that he’s no longer attracted to you. No, this doesn’t mean you’re ugly, this just means he’s not attracted to you.

So many women think this means that they’re not attractive, but they’re wrong. His emotions changed and he no longer sees you as a partner. [Read: 16 clear signs he’s slowly losing interest in you]

#12 Something bothers him. It could be that it isn’t even related to you. Maybe he had a fight with his mom or his boss is giving him a hard time. Point is, men are shitty at communicating. So, this could be nothing to do with you. However, he’s too busy internalizing his emotions, and he’s hiding within himself. Thus, here you are, freaking out that he’s not into you. So, talk to him.

[Read: How to make a guy realize he’s losing you – 13 hints that work]

Now that you know why men pull away, it’s time you sat down and had a talk about it with him. You need to do this for yourself. Why be in a relationship which isn’t giving you what you need?

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Natasha Ivanovic
Natasha Ivanovic is an intimacy, dating, and relationship writer best known for her writings on Kiiroo, LovePanky, Post Pravda, and more. She's the creator and ...
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