When you open yourself up and fall in love, you think you’re falling in love with a man. But what do you do if he ends up being an immature manCHILD?
The last thing I want when I start dating someone is to end up being a babysitter and not a girlfriend. Yet, for some reason, this has happened to me time and time again. I don’t know if it’s because of my motherly qualities or if I just attract needy and childish men, but I seem to be stuck with them a lot.
Now, don’t get me wrong. I’m not some stuck up lady that thinks any guy who knows how to have fun is automatically considered a manchild. But if you’re taking ‘fun’ to such a level that only an 8 year old would enjoy, then I definitely have a problem.
What is a manchild?
Just as Urban Dictionary defines the term manchild, it is a man who is so immature that they are considered a child. By ‘immature’ I mean that this man can’t take care of himself in any way, shape, or form.
For some reason it seems like there is a manchild epidemic threatening to take over the world. Since our generations don’t stress the need for growing up and becoming a ‘man,’ some people just never seem to catch up to their actual age anymore, whereas in past generations, you needed to get your act together by the age of 16 and grow up. [Read: Avoid them like the plague – 16 types of guys who are just not worth dating]
Are you dating a manchild?
For the sake of women everywhere, you should take action when you know you’re dating a manchild. Don’t let him invade your life and continue with his childish antics. If you’re not sure if your man qualifies as an annoying manchild, here are some signs to tell for sure and just what you can do to fix it.
#1 He never cleans up after himself. As in, EVER. A guy who throws dirty dishes into the sink without even rinsing them and then lets them fester there for days until you finally have had enough, is nothing more than your typical manchild.
#2 He doesn’t even know HOW to clean up after himself. And if he doesn’t clean up after himself not because he’s lazy, but because he actually doesn’t know how to work the dishwasher – or hell, even the sink – he’s still a manchild. [Read: Is you boyfriend lazy and boring? Fix him up for good!]
#3 He expects you to do the ‘woman’ stuff. If your boyfriend is harping at you to cook, clean, do the laundry, and all of the stuff that the ‘girl is supposed to do’ he hasn’t matured yet at all.
#4 He freaks out if he doesn’t get his way. You know, like how a toddler would throw everything they’re holding and lay on the ground screaming until you give them what they want. He can’t handle it when life in general doesn’t cater to his every need.
#5 He can’t handle constructive criticism. A manchild just can’t take it when someone tells them how they can do something better. In their immature mind, they’re the best at everything. So he’ll just slump down for a while following constructive criticism.
#7 Any type of game brings out his ugly side. Forget drinking games, board games, and even a nice game of Frisbee because if he loses – or even if he wins – he’ll be a sore loser or a gloating, insulting winner.
#9 He has no idea how to handle his finances. If he’s spending money left and right with no way of tracking it or even being able to pay for it, you’re dating a manchild.
#10 He lets his mom treat him like a child. Honestly, I would have to say that about 50% of the responsibility for a guy becoming a manchild lies with how his mother treats him.
#11 He can’t take responsibility for his actions. A manchild is someone who always has a scapegoat for everything. They’re never at fault and can do no wrong. Whether they blame someone else or even certain technologies for malfunctioning, he wasn’t the one who messed up. [Read: 16 abusive relationship signs of a devious lover]
#12 His friends and hobbies outrank you. If you come last when it comes to his friends and hobbies, you’re dating a manchild who obviously is too immature to handle the realities of a relationship.
#13 He talks a big game… and hardly ever follows through. He may talk tough, he may promise you great things, but if he never–or hardly–follows through with his intentions, then he’s a manchild.
#14 He never plans for his future. Does he have a retirement plan? Does he have a backup savings account for emergencies? Does he even know what he wants to have accomplished in the next 5 years? If not, then he’s too immature to realize that these are important adult matters that need to be taken care of.
#15 He puts you down in front of your and his friends. If your boyfriend is actually insulting you and putting you down in front of company – especially your friends – he’s doing so to make himself look better. This is a quality most seen in 10 year old bullies. Good luck with your manchild. [Read: 21 subtle signs of emotional abuse you may be overlooking]
#17 If he gets sick it’s suddenly the end of the world. Does he actually act like a child when he’s sick? He might just have a cold but in his eyes it’s the worst thing to hit the world since the black plague.
#18 He expects you to handle all the ‘adult’ stuff. Paying bills, getting the cars tuned up, going grocery shopping, etc. If your boyfriend shoves all that aside for you to take care of, he clearly is a manchild who can’t even handle adult aspects of life.
#19 He’s insensitive in bad situations. No matter what the situation or what degree of severity it is, he just doesn’t care if it doesn’t affect him. Manchildren aren’t empathetic people and therefore, don’t really care if hundreds of people die in mass shootings or explosions every year.
#20 He can’t hold a steady job. Does your boyfriend consistently have to be looking for a job because he’ll be fired or quit one after only a few months? If so, it could be a sign that he’s a manchild because he can’t follow rules and maintain a steady job. [Read: 10 types of guys you need to stop dating if you want real love]
The Fix – Turn your manchild into a man
Fixing a manchild isn’t an easy task. It could take a long time for them to properly mature into a real adult. However, there are some ways to hurry the process along.
#2 Communicate with them. You have to tell them what they’re doing and how it’s affecting you. They don’t realize that they’re being immature. Make sure they know how you feel and tell them often so they’re always reminded that they have to be changing something.
#3 Use incentives for them to change. If talking to them just isn’t enough, you may have to get real with them. Now, they may not accept this at first, but you’ll have to try. Tell them that if they can’t grow up and get their act together, you may have to move on. It’s a mean incentive, but it’s also honest down to its core.
If you’re dating a manchild, I’m truly sorry. They’re tough to deal with and even harder to fix. But with these signs you’re dating a manchild and solutions to that problem, you could be free of their hindering attitude in no time.
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Bella is a lifestyle writer, cheese enthusiast (Wisconsin native over here) and fantasy adventure author-in-progress who enjoys all things love, dog, p...