When Men Pull Away: 13 Reasons Why He’s Acting Strange and Distant

when men pull away

You’re really falling for this guy, but he’s acting strange, distant, and more reserved than normal. Learn to understand the reasons when men pull away.

You cannot imagine how much time I’ve wasted with my friends trying to figure out the reasoning behind when men pull away. *I lived for the drama, but let’s not focus on that*. And if you’re like me, girl, you need some help before it drives you crazy.

There’s nothing more frustrating and stressful than when someone you have feelings for pulls away. But, instead of playing cool, we grab onto them. And it makes complete sense, you don’t want this person to pull away, so you pull them closer to you. But that never works.

Every time you pull them closer, it has the opposite effect. They run away from you even faster. [Read: Reasons why a guy will act distant all of a sudden]

What it means when men pull away

No one said love was fair. And this, probably isn’t going to be the first guy to pull away from you. It isn’t a reflection on you, it’s their thoughts and feelings that result in them pulling away from you. So, don’t take this too personally. Unless, this happens with every guy you meet. But if this happens rarely, don’t take it to heart—easier said than done, right?

Relationships aren’t guaranteed to last, and love isn’t so black and white. Once you understand why he’s pulling away from you, you’ll be able to figure out how to react.

So, let’s get started and show you the real reasons men pull away. It’s time to learn the truth.

#1 He’s not into you. How can I put this nicely… he’s just not that into you. He likes you, don’t get me wrong, but he’s not that into you. There are some personality traits he doesn’t like, maybe you chew with your mouth open and it drives him nuts. The point is he doesn’t see you as someone he could be with on a more serious level… or even this level. [Read: All the reasons why chasing a guy never helps]

#2 You both want different things. You’re looking for something more serious, a committed relationship, but he’s into casually hooking up and going to the bar with his friends. See? You are on different wavelengths, and right now, he’s realizing that. You probably see it too, but you’re trying hard to anchor him down. Listen, it’s not going to work.

 #3 He’s a player. He loves the ladies, big time. He has a phone full of women that he alternates. You were the “lady of the week” last week but that was last week. Over the weekend, he met someone else and is investing his time chasing her. For him, it’s all a game, and right now, you’re waiting to play your turn. [Read: The warning signs a player just can’t hide]

#4 You thought it was exclusive. When men pull away, sometimes it’s because you two are thinking along two different lines. As in, this is what happens when you’re not communicating with people. You slept with him once, and now you’re changing your relationship status on Facebook.

You viewed the relationship as something more serious than what it was. He realized that you thought it was more and pulled away. He could have talked to you, but he’s immature so it’s easier to ghost you instead. [Read: Why guys ghost? 15 reasons why they turn into cowardly pricks]

#5 You were too easy. You were attracted to him on the first date and slept with him. This isn’t necessarily a bad move, the body wants what the body wants. But not every guy is going to continue seeing you. You gave him what he wanted from the very beginning. Now he doesn’t have to chase you, the excitement is gone. So, he’s slowly pulling away because he got what he wanted.

#6 He got scared. Men get scared easily, trust me, I know. If you’ve talked about commitment, slept over at his house, made him breakfast in bed–you probably scared him. A man who’s ready won’t be scared by these actions or conversations, but if he’s immature, he’s not going to handle this well. When you’re trying to take the relationship to the next level, if you’re too forceful, he’ll get scared.

#7 He has personal issues. He could be stressed with work or school, have family issues, or be emotionally unstable. In other words, he’s in no position to be with anyone at the moment. Yeah, he met you and digs you, but he knows that if he continues to date you, he’ll get sidetracked. So, instead, he’s pulling away and getting his life in check.

#8 He’s not over his ex. He broke up with his ex a couple of months ago and even though you make him feel good, he’s still not over his ex. This isn’t your fault, he’s just not emotionally ready to be serious with a new person. Right now, he’s trying to get over his ex by having noncommittal, hot, and steamy sex. [Read: 13 secret signs that he’s not over his ex yet]

#9 He’s dating other people. Yeah, sorry to break that to you, but when men pull away, sometimes it’s because of this one. You’ve been casually dating him and closed your Tinder account, but he still uses it like crazy. If he’s pulling away from you, it could be because he’s seeing other people. And when you date other people, you don’t have a lot of time to hang out. So, he put you on the back burner until he’s bored with the other girls.

#10 He never planned on being with you. He actually never wanted to be with you. He hung out with you because you were cool to chill with and he got laid at the same time, but that’s it. He didn’t see you as someone to settle down with the moment he saw you. You were someone he could have fun with on the streets and in the sheets. [Read: How to deal with a guy who likes you but doesn’t want a relationship with you]

#11 You’re talking about marriage. And it’s only the first date. He sees it loud and clear, you want to tie the knot and settle down. He likes you, but he’s not ready for any of that. Plus, you got a little too real with him and scared him at the same time. Leave some mystery in the conversation, don’t throw the marriage topic on the table right away.

#12 He’s just not sure. That’s really it. He’s just not sure. He likes you, he really likes you, but he’s not sure if he wants to give up his single life and invest his free time into you. In other words, he ain’t into you enough. If he’s not sure, he’s not the one. You want a guy that’s positive about their feelings for you. Not a guy making a pro and con sheet with your name at the top. [Read: Accepting that he’s just not that into you]

#13 You display too many red flags. I’m not saying you’re messed up, you’re flawed. I have flaws that would send red flags to some men as well. This simply depends on what a guy sees as a red flag, and what he doesn’t want in a partner. But he’s not seeing you as a match. He decided to go his own way and move on.

[Read: Hidden signs we ignore when we’re in a one-sided relationship]

After reading this article, what do you think? Now that you know what it means when men pull away, have you figured out why he’s acting distant?

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Natasha Ivanovic
Natasha Ivanovic
A serial dater, Natasha Ivanovic knows a thing or two about men and the dating scene. Much of her writing is inspired by her encounters with men - and for good ...
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