How to Stop Obsessing over a Guy You’re Interested In
When you like a guy, it’s hard to stop thinking of him. But if you don’t want to obsess over a guy anymore, get your life back with these 7 steps!
We all know how it is. When you like a new guy, it’s excruciatingly difficult to stop thinking about him all the time, whether you’re visualizing his gorgeous eyes, his brilliant smile, or his to-die-for body.
If you’ve had the chance to interact with the object of your affection, you probably are unable to stop daydreaming about his captivating personality, either.
If you and this guy have been out together, and are headed in the direction of a relationship, this is no problem at all.
However, if you barely know the guy, he’s dating someone else, or he’s simply made it clear that he’s not interested in you that way, obsessively thinking about him could take over your life in a very negative manner.
How to stop obsessing over a guy
No one wants to be all wrapped up in someone or something that they can’t have, as that’s just totally frustrating.
Fortunately, if you’re in this situation, there are some fairly easy ways for you to free your mind off this elusive guy.
If you follow the advice below, he may only wander into your thoughts occasionally, instead of doing a relentless dance across your brain and distracting you from the things that are truly important in your life. [Read: 20 sure reasons why a guy could be ignoring you]
#1 Don’t “stalk” him on social media
If you’re harboring affection for a certain guy, you probably know how to find his Facebook, Twitter, and LinkedIn profiles already, even if you’re not yet friends with him on these sites *unless, of course, he happens to be one of those rare people who never use social media, in that case, you’re lucky*.
This may seem like a familiar scenario to many of you – you tell yourself that you’ll just take a quick peek at his information, but before you know it, you’ve spent hours going through all his posts, saving a few of his best pictures on your hard drive and memorizing his previous girlfriends’ names.
Unfortunately, stalking someone on social media is one of the quickest ways to fuel a budding obsession with that person.
Have you ever heard the expression, “out of sight, out of mind?” Well, if you want to stop this guy from unknowingly invading your brain at every waking moment, stop looking at his pages.
If you must look occasionally, limit yourself to a once-a-week “creep,” or better yet, make a rule that if you so much as glance at one of his profiles, you have to speak to him! [Read: Online obsessions – The things that could happen when you start stalking someone online]
#2 Spend time with other guys
Another way to stop yourself from obsessing over a particular guy is by allowing yourself to realize that he’s not the only attractive member of the male “species” out there. It’s not necessary that you start dating a bunch of different guys, but make sure you interact with a variety of them on a regular basis, so you’ll have others to think about besides the object of your obsession.
As we are romance-oriented creatures by nature, guys may still take up the majority of your thoughts, but at least you won’t be completely stuck on one who may never be yours.
If you don’t come across any interesting guys in your day-to-day life, consider taking an interest in the life of a sexy male celebrity. Having an obsession with a celeb is less dangerous to your psyche than being obsessed with someone you’ve actually met, as you likely realize that there’s only a small chance that you’ll ever meet the celeb, let alone date him.
On the other hand, with a guy you know, you’ll always feel as if there’s a teensy-weensy chance you’ll end up blissfully together, even if he doesn’t appear interested. [Read: 20 reasons why a guy may never ever like you back!]
#3 Spend more time with friends and family
One of the best ways to overcome an annoying obsession of any kind is to spend tons of time with people you love, whom you know love you, doing activities you enjoy. When it comes to guys, we women often start obsessing about a guy in hopes that he will someday cure our loneliness by giving us the attention that we so crave and desire.
However, what we don’t realize is that our friends and family members may be able to fill that void we feel inside when we’re alone. Sure, they’re not romantic partners, but sometimes a warm hug can make you feel just as good as a makeout session would.
You must remember though, when you hang out with your family and friends, not to mention the guy you like very often. If you do so, you’ll just be ensuring that you’ll never forget about him, and you’ll eventually get on your loved ones’ nerves, too.
#4 Get a hobby or side job
Sometimes, we also create obsessions in our minds when we simply have too much time on our hands. If you keep yourself as busy as possible, your mind will rarely get the chance to drift to the dude you’re into.
To increase your personal busyness factor, why not bite the bullet and start participating in an activity you’ve always wanted to try, such as horseback riding or hot yoga, or even something more low-key like gardening or beadwork?
Along the same lines, if you’ve had the desire to start a side business in the past, but never quite got around to it, now is the time to do so. Some jobs that you can take on outside your normal full-time week include dog walking, freelance writing, photography, cake decorating, and/or tutoring.
Alternatively, if you’re crafty, you could open an online store. Basically, when it comes to home-based businesses, the sky is virtually the limit! While you’re engaging in your new activities, whether you’re doing them for cash or not, you may even meet a new guy who’s totally in sync with you and the way you live your life. [Read: 15 essential dating tips for single women]
#5 Read interesting books
Obsessing over someone, going over and over every detail about them in your mind is something that clearly takes a great deal of brainpower. That means that if your mind is completely occupied by something else, it won’t have enough energy left over to obsess any longer, and your thoughts about a desired man will automatically drop out of the picture.
Reading is an activity that is enjoyable, but requires a great deal of mental effort. If you really want to abolish that guy from your mind, you need to read, read, and then read some more. [Read: I miss him so much but he doesn’t seem to miss me at all]
When choosing a book, it’s best to pick one that’s very plot-driven. Unless you have supreme mental abilities in comparison to the rest of us, as you follow the adventures of stimulating fictional characters, you won’t be able to concentrate on much of anything else.
Whatever you do, do not choose a book that contains a great deal of sexual content, such as 50 Shades of Grey, since that will just remind you of the attractive individual whom you should not be thinking of.
#6 Take a short vacation
You may not be able to take the time off work *or spend the money!* to go on a cruise to the Caribbean, or to sample the best wines in France, but a short, two-day trip may be all you need, to take your mind off of things at home, including the guy you’re obsessing about.
Whether you spend a relaxing weekend at a family cottage, or party it up with friends at a campsite or hotel, His Hotness will suddenly seem as if he’s a trillion miles away. Plus, you’ll have so much to talk about when you get back that you won’t give him a second thought for days.
Those of you who are unable to get away for even a couple of days at a time can have yourself a little stay-cation instead – for at least 24 hours, relinquish all of your responsibilities and explore some places that you’ve always wanted to visit in your own town or city – this’ll go a long way toward getting that omnipresent man off of your mind.
#7 Remind yourself of his flaws
If all else fails, and you’ve still got that special guy on your brain, literally convince yourself, if only temporarily, that he’s not such a great catch after all. You can do this by taking inventory of his worst character traits, and dwelling on the stupid or embarrassing things he’s done.
For example, do you remember a time when he wore dirty socks to the gym? Every time your mind drifts toward his gorgeous grin, picture those socks instead. Does he tend to get drunk a lot, and start acting like a teenager? Well, whenever his luscious lips randomly imprint themselves in your consciousness, you can turn yourself off of him by imagining him dancing like a chicken at the bar. [Read: The art of getting over a guy you like by hating him!]
Don’t be worried that these tactics will end up making you grow to hate him. If you like him as much as you think you do, any negative thoughts you’ve built up will instantly rocket out of your mind the next time his eyes meet yours! [Read: 13 awesome tips to avoid falling in love with someone you’re falling for]
Can you really stop obsessing about him and regain control of your life?
All of the methods above have been designed to distract you from constantly thinking about the object of your affection, or, at least, to get you to stop putting this guy on a pedestal, making him the main focal point of your existence.
Once you realize that he’s just a normal human being like the rest of us, there’s a good chance that you’ll be able to gather up the courage to actually approach him, if you haven’t yet. [Read: 17 reasons why the guy you like isn’t asking you out yet]
On the other hand, if he’s already spoken for, or you’re just not his type, you’ll be able to stop fantasizing about throwing a pie in his girlfriend’s face or totally revamping your lifestyle in order to attract him.
And dropping your starry-eyed obsession will give you the much-needed mental relief, as well as enabling you to move on to looking for love elsewhere, if necessary.
As hard as it seems right now to stop obsessing over a guy you’re interested in, it’s definitely doable and almost easy. All it takes is your determination, and these 7 simple steps!