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Guys Who Ghost and Come Back: How to Handle The Zombies of Dating

guys who ghost and come back

You’ve finally gotten over the guy who unexpectedly ghosted you, but guess what? He’s back. How are you going to handle the guys who ghost and come back?

What are you supposed to do with guys who ghost and come back? If you really liked him, then when he comes rolling around, you’re in a tough situation. Do you accept his ghosting and take him back? Or do you ditch his ass to the curb? Of course, we would all say the latter, but let’s be honest, it’s always different when it happens to you.

And we all know that when it comes to the advice we give others, we rarely follow what we preach. But listen, we’re only human, so if you’re struggling with handling ghosting situations, I don’t blame you. Now, you just need to learn how to handle guys who ghost and come back. [Read: The cowardly reason a guy will ghost you]

What to do when a guy ghosts you and comes back

Oh, ladies, we all have the stories of guys who seemed sooo into us. Then all of a sudden, poof, he disappears. I had one guy literally visit me from another country, claim his love for me. Then he just disappeared. Now, I’m telling this story calmly, but, if you talked to me when that happened I would have burst into tears.

Maybe you didn’t have something as intense happen to you. It could have been a guy that you’ve been dating for a couple of weeks and then he pretends to play dead. The point is, regardless of the how he ghosted you, it hurt.

Why did he ghost you?

Now, you’re probably wondering why he would even ghost you to begin with. Though every guy is different, there are some common reasons as to why guys ghost.

#1 It was going too fast. In other words, he freaked out. Even though you clicked and there was a giant spark, it ended as quickly as it began. The relationship started too quickly and too intensely which is why he freaked out and ghosted you.

It was getting too serious too soon. Rather than telling you, he decided that disappearing for a while would cool things down until he could come back to you again. [Read: Signs your relationship is going too fast]

#2 He just wanted sex. Okay, naturally, all guys want sex, this isn’t something new to any of us. But, he wasn’t looking for anything but sex. And, you slept with him before there was any chase and effort that he was supposed to put in. This doesn’t mean you shouldn’t sleep with someone, but in this case, the relationship was a physical one. [Read: The signs he just wants sex from you]

#3 He didn’t care. You may have hit it off with him, but it wasn’t enough for him to commit to you in a relationship. So, rather than telling you, he decided to just back off before you became emotionally attached.

#4 Someone else came along. Ah yes, a common reason that none of us wants to hear. Maybe he broke up with his ex before meeting you and decided he wanted to get back together with her or maybe he met someone around the same time as meeting you. Now, this doesn’t have really anything to do with you. Instead, he has unresolved feelings still floating around.

#5 He just wasn’t into you. How can I put this nicely, he just wasn’t that into you. For him, it was easier to fade you out slowly than to talk to you about it. But, ghosting you wasn’t the right way to handle the situation. For that, he’s an asshole. [Read: Dammit, why doesn’t he like me back? Here’s 20 reasons why]

How to handle guys who ghost and come back

Now that you know why guys ghost you, it’s time you learned how to handle guys who ghost and come back. It’s time to take charge of your feelings and decide if you want to deal with someone who ghosted you in the past.

#1 Don’t reply so fast. He probably texted you either on Facebook or phone, because let’s face it, they’re too weak to actually call you. When they text you, don’t reply right away, instead, take your time.

You want to make sure you’re reading their text properly and that they’re putting in an effort to contact you. If they send you a text that says “hi” you give them a minimal response back. They have to earn your trust. [Read: Ingenious ways to beat a player who’s playing you]

#2 How do you feel? When guys ghost and then text six months later, they don’t really think about our feelings. How can they? They disappeared and popped up thinking that you would be cool with it.

Before you jump back to them, think about how you feel. When you got their text message, how did you feel? If you weren’t really into them, then this won’t be hard to tell him to go away. However, if you have feelings for him, think about yourself first.

#3 Can you trust them? They ghosted you already. Now, how do you know they’re not going to ghost you again? I know it’s on your mind and you need to decide if it’s worth the risk of him doing this again to you. Rather than communicating with you about how they feel, they ran away and didn’t take your feelings into consideration. [Read: How to lead a guy on – 15 shitty ways to play dirty and get revenge]

#4 Get them to acknowledge their actions. If he texts you and you decide to respond to him, you need to make sure that he acknowledges what he did to you. Many guys will pretend nothing ever happened and that shows a lack of consideration and respect. If he doesn’t acknowledge his behavior, that means he considers this normal and he will do it again.

#5 Don’t jump right in. If you decide to get back with him *really take a second thought about this*, you need to be very careful with how you move forward. Firstly, expect almost nothing from him. Don’t expect him to stick around because he ghosted you the first time. If you go back to him, go slowly, take your time, and don’t sleep with him right away. [Read: Why you need to be slow and steady if you’re getting back together]

#6 Continue seeing other people. That’s right, don’t commit yourself fully to this guy. He needs to gain your trust back. Honestly, he’s one basket that I wouldn’t put all my eggs in. So, if you decide to see him, casually date him and keep all your options open.

[Read: 22 early warning signs of a bad boyfriend to watch for]

No one likes being ghosted, in fact, it’s a shitty thing to do. But now you have to think clearly about how to handle the guys who ghost and come back.

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Natasha Ivanovic
Natasha Ivanovic
A serial dater, Natasha Ivanovic knows a thing or two about men and the dating scene. Much of her writing is inspired by her encounters with men - and for good ...
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