Why Do Men Hate Talking on the Phone?

men hate talking on phone

You may love a long telephone conversation. But you should remember that your man may not always like it. So why do men hate talking on the phone?

You love speaking over the phone, but the man in your life can’t dream of doing the same.

So what is the real reason behind why men hate talking on the phone?

Most girls assume it’s because the guy doesn’t like her, but that’s almost always baloney.

Here’s the real reason behind why men hate talking on the phone.

At last I get to enlighten all the women about the real reason behind why we men just don’t call even if we really like you.

To be quite frank and brutal, it’s because of just one simple fact.

We don’t want to!

Why do men hate long phone conversations?

Now how hard is it to get that? Let’s look at it from your perspective.

So why don’t you call? Is it because you forgot to pay your bills on time, or is your cell phone low on battery, or are you way too tired to even take your heels off before you hit the sack?

Either ways, it doesn’t really matter.

You didn’t call because you didn’t want to, which is the bottom line.

So what makes us men so different from women? From my conclusion, I guess there’s no real difference in phone etiquette when it comes to men and women, we just have different perspectives. There are few reasons behind why the man in your existence didn’t call you, and here are a few most common reasons behind that missed call from a man.

The man’s point of view

Firstly, men do like talking on the phone. The flaw of all things between men and women ensures that both sexes just have different ideas about phone ethics.

Women like talking about a lot of things, but men usually like talking about what’s relevant to them. So you can’t really blame anyone here. Ladies, let me assure you, just as much as you hate the fact that men don’t like talking over the phone with you, men too hate the fact that women go gaga when they have a phone in their hands.

From a man’s point of view, does it really matter to me if your grand aunt’s great grandmother is having a fling with someone? I think not. Well, unless, she’s involved in the extra-curricular activity with my granddad. If that’s not the case, talking about it is nothing but a big waste of time, don’t you think? Okay, maybe you don’t.

[Read: How to think like a man and impress your guy]

Men are just not into phones

Most women have a problem trying to understand this part of men. But men in general, are not really into using phones for a long duration. Men like answering a lot of short calls more often.

It makes him feel a lot more important and busy. Real men especially love calls that go like “Hello …uh huh. Sure, meeting at twelve. Got that. Offer for a million bucks. Oh…kay. And where is the meeting? Cool. Thanks. See you there. Bye.” For a man, a thirty second call is the perfect definition of a good detailed long call.

Men lose their confidence

Men don’t have a problem conversing about nothing for hours on end face to face. But over the phone, any call that persists beyond a few minutes spells just one word. Panic.

Men like being in control, but once they find themselves whimpering in a corner with conversations that have no clear direction, they lose their composure. They just wouldn’t know what to say, and that makes everything feel ten times worse.

Now really, how much can a man say when you explain how shitty your day has been, especially when you elaborate on it for half an hour? All he can do is nod mechanically and hum an out-of-rhythm tune of ah-ha’s, uh-huh’s, and …erms. And after a while, a sore nodding neck and a restless mind can do more damage to him than a hectic day at his workplace.

Men are bored of your yakity-yak

So how much of your life could have changed in the past couple of hours? And what can we men chat with women on an hourly or less-than-hourly basis? I personally avoid the phone like the plague. Almost all conversations on the phone consist of repetitions of “Hey, what are you doing?” and little else.

What I figure, and what a lot of men figure, is that phones should only be used when you actually have something to say. Just because we don’t call every fifteen minutes doesn’t mean we don’t care.

A call every now and then to say “hey… what’s up!” may be sweet, but asking us to talk about something beyond that is pure nightmare! C’mon, how much of our life could change in fifteen minutes? Maybe a woman’s life is a lot more fascinating, but unfortunately, a man’s life has fewer exciting moments that need a phone conversation to calm him down. [Read: How to talk to a guy and make him like you]

Some like it shy

Yup, we do have men who fall into this category. There are quite a few men out there who may be suave and chatty with all their pals, but when it comes to a girl who’s a dating potential, all they probably do is mumble. It may sound awfully annoying to you when you find that he can actually chat for a while with his boy pals, but he gets his tongue tied over a phone call with you. But you know what, the fact of the matter remains that most men are shy to talk to women over the phone.

Real conversations over the phone (not just the back-and-forth “Hey, what’s up?” conversations) take a lot more work than communicating in real life. You have no face to look at, no body language to read. All you have is a voice.

A man can lose his confidence fast in these situations because phone conversations become entirely about what one says, rather than what one does. He may just be shy or worried that he’ll say the wrong thing and disappoint you or reveal his insecurity. And trust me, most men would rather come across as inconsiderate jerks than insecure losers.

He has better things to do

Are you surprised to hear this? Of course, a man has a lot of better things to do than just sit down and chat with a woman. Let’s take the problem by the horns here. When men talk, they talk about the matter at hand, even if they go into details or stretch the conversation.

On the other hand, when women talk, they tend to wander and spread out like a wide, meandering river. What starts off as plans to catch a movie may go into an all night sobbing marathon of broken hearts!

And if he isn’t on phone listening to you, there are a hundred, probably even a million other things he could do. He could dream about making money, meet new clients, relax, stare at the ceiling, shave, play games, watch funny youtube videos, watch porn, watch the lord of the rings, hit the gym, and a million other things.

There really are a lot of things he could rather do, to be quite frank. And these other things are stuff he has to do anyways. Talking over the phone with you would not only give him a headache, but also put him back on his other daily activities. Give your man peace, ladies. He needs it. [Read: Questions you should never ask your guy]

He doesn’t like you

This is the last straw of not answering calls. Most women think this is the principal reason, but as a matter of fact, this is the last reason for a man to avoid your calls. Don’t ever assume that he doesn’t want to speak to you, unless you’re convinced it’s none of the other reasons. Men hardly ever hate women. They just dislike talking too much over the phone.

He may have liked you when you guys met, but after putting up with you during all those long phone calls, he’s probably nursing a nervous breakdown, or has written for a restraining order. [Read: Where to find a nice guy]

Or he probably thinks you’ve got a mouth that’s fitted with a motor that throws out words at gusts of 300 words a minute peaking up to 600 at times, and he finds it really annoying. Or it could be the mole in one of your butt cheeks. The reason behind why he dislikes you could be several, but then the reason behind him not speaking over the phone is simple enough. He sees no point in having a conversation with you, because:

#1 He doesn’t see the reason to

#2 He never wants to go out with you again

#3 He’s bored of faking like he gives a damn about what you’re saying

#4 He doesn’t share your enthusiasm in other people’s affairs

#5 Most importantly, he dislikes you!

[Read: Signs he’s into you]

Is it such a big deal anyways?

Now, unless it’s the last reason where he really, really hates you, I guess you shouldn’t really have a problem with the scarcity of his calls. But it’s really quite hard to figure which category your man would fit into, because obviously, he’s not going to accept that he doesn’t like speaking with you over the phone.

To shed some light in this context, the next time you’re in the middle of a conversation with him (not over the phone please!), just show him this piece and ask him if he’s a phone person or not. If you want to get the perfect answer from him, just point out the different options here and let him pick! Men like picking options anyways. Tell him you just want to know whether he really isn’t a telephone man or if he just doesn’t like you. [Read: Is he cheating on you with another woman?]

You see, it’s easy to figure out what’s on your man’s mind when it comes to phone calls. The hard part is what you’re going to do after you figure it out!

Men and their phone woes

Men want women to know they care, but they just can’t put up with the overuse of cell phones. Women may not understand it, but here are a few men’s confessions to understand their mind.

Work and romance hours

Most men understand the so called “responsibility” of having to answer phone calls, but women seriously have to understand that we may be busy at times, or in an uncomfortable situation, where we just can’t pick up the call! It’s really annoying when you have to meet your girl later, and she’s all pissed off because you didn’t speak long enough with her. Gosh, don’t women know there’s a difference between work hours and romance time?!” [Read: What men like in women more than anything else]

-Robert, 32

Busy boys

I’m not a phone guy! In fact, I hate answering calls, especially when I’m playing multiplayer on my Xbox or watching a good movie on the telly. I’ve had several circumstances when my girlfriend calls me, and when I say I’ll call her back in a while, she just gets pissed off and tells me I don’t love her! What she doesn’t understand is that I’d feel worse to talk to her when I’m interrupted in the middle of something important. But then, she never really understands that side of me.

-Jason, 22

Say something!

Women can get so boring when they talk for so long! And the worst thing is that they keep saying, “So say something…” God, what am I? A f**king radio station?!!

-Ray, 25

Never ending stories

I’m fine with talking over the phone, as long as it lasts under a few minutes. But what annoys me most is when women say, “Okay, I’ll talk to you later”, and then remember something and go on for hours! And that’s when I don’t even want to listen to that story in the first place. [Read: Annoying girlfriend habits that all men hate]

-Simon, 29

So why don’t men like talking on the phone? Well, you have all the reasons, ladies. Do you really need any more clues to understand your man now? I think not. [Read: How to make a man call more]

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14 thoughts on “Why Do Men Hate Talking on the Phone?”

  1. Peter says:

    Yeah it’s annoying when the girl phones up and requires me to say something. Why isn’t it OK for me to just listen while I get on with something? Sometimes I just can’t be bothered to use voice muscles or am fed up of the mundane “how was your day?” questions or dull life plans stuff. To top things off, if I’m actually honest and say “I don’t feel like talking” then there’s this long monologue about how we don’t communicate well and how she could chat so much easier to the holiday fling guy in Spain, or her ex-BF who was 7 years older (who, granted, sounds like he has excellent communication skills and emotional maturity but on the flip side has no life and will never do half as much stuff as I’ve done already, or have as much fun). Can’t be bothered. Got to dump this girl. Tried twice already but once she thought I was joking and the other time became hysterical. Don’t know what to do. She calls me at work too and it’s distracting. Also, if I don’t answer, like if I’m driving, she interrogates me afterwards. Need to escape. Heelllppp!

  2. Scarlette says:

    then, what should be the right approach towards this? should I just call and talk a few mins and say goodbye? wouldn’t that project that I am not interested in talking to him especially when we don’t get to meet much? when I stop talking there is a kind of awkward silence around us, I hate that!

  3. thesheertruth says:

    My god-is it a women that wrote this article. so many words!
    I am a female, by the way, so let’s make it short.

    I think this article states quite many wrong facts.
    if the guy is ‘on his toes’ so to speak, and you girl are not yet conquered, he will talk and talk.
    So girls, if a guy does not call or talk to you, HE IS JUST NOT INTO YOU.

    It is true though that most men are egoists-the higher the testosterone the higher the egoism, and the self absorbedness.
    I have 2 sons: one sexually developed – indifferent exactly like most males except for what ever involves his penis and ego.
    The other is still a kid- so he is still interested in what I have to say.
    it all sums up to this.

    Nature made sure males will ‘spread the seed’.
    Testosterone takes care of this.

    We females do not spread seed; we catch the spreading so we are like a big net trying to get it exclusively.

    So if technically speaking he has planted it into you already, he will not talk any more. Sad but true.

    I think that if we think about it this way AND also take some LOVE CURING medications to relieve the emotional stress we are suffering from because of the love hormones, it will make it easier for us to rule and not be ruled, help us make better decision about mates and of course make short calls only when required.

    And definitely this ‘short calls’ question will surely not be asked.

  4. Lindsey says:

    I have a friend that is a guy friend he doesn’t like to talk to me on the phone even though I miss him it’s frusterating feel like he doesn’t like me he always cuts me short when I talk to him on the phone haven’t seen him so long don’t know when we will get back together again it just upsets me when he doesn’t want to call me ever or talk on the phone

  5. cliff says:

    Good article, quite relatable. Now me I can’t hide it. I love my girlfriend of 3yrs and she knows it, and she knows I am always trying to escape from long conversations. Most of the time Im like..”ok babe we will talk when we meet” or I end up just saying “umh..yes…yah..umh.”.to which most of the time she suspects that i am not listening and she ask me to repeat what she just said lol. It seems like they plan that this is time to call my bf, they make a snack then lie comfortably on the couch and then call, and on the other side I am busy with my gadgets or watching soccer or resting or half asleep. ..then start talking about the beautiful houses in the magazine and wedding dresses etc most of which I never think of at any time. But the good thing is it seems she understands boys since she is the only girl in 4 siblings. ..so after catching me she is always laughing at how clever I thought I am. But for those men who have less understanding ones…I think some sweet words will always help you out. ..otherwise me I am sorted.

  6. redbull21074 says:

    i couldn’t agree more with you what you said about phones even know i’m not with my gf anymore been three years and i’m glad said she didn’t like talk on phone we just texts which i don’t like do much of that but if i had pick out of two, i for sure will take texting. i hate when someone calls me you start lose signal, with them when they start breaking out i start to rasie my voice towards them out of anger i hate having to hold this thing up to my ear most times i leave it on speaker, so i don’t have hold” it at all their i have broken more than two, phones before would like to (add) third to my list it must been nice in old days just peaceful, no calls half times i turn my phone (off) and leave it when i leave and go out places i have be yes of course i could break down or so but at least i wouldn’t hear phone ring none

  7. Dyna says:


    My story is so different…It’s completely opposite than all above.I don’t like to talk much over the phone calls.I m like, straight to the point & hang up the phone.But my best friend(Not my BF) calls me almost everyday, talks to me for at least 45 minutes, tells me every single thing in life including about his would be wife, everything.I just keep doing hmm..hmm on the phone.But he wants all my attention to his talks, even if it’s about his bike problem.Sometimes he calls me 3-4 times in a day, keep talking & then finally ask, now u also say something..Ahhh..Sometimes I get irritated with this but he is best friend of mine so can’t avoid it & also don’t want to hurt his feelings.He thinks I am a good listener & good advisor to him..So, we are just friends with benefits.

  8. Anonymous says:


    I cannot believe all the insanity you are spouting. How can it be 2014 and you are pigeon holing men and women in that kind of bio-truthy fashion.

    Are you some kind of lunatic? Maybe your older son doesn’t listen to you because you are crazy and your younger one hasn’t learned that you are insane or can’t escape your inane yammering.

  9. lucioid3013 says:

    In my opinion, I personally would add ,”men do like talking over the phone. They just have a lot of women “friendships” so it makes it even harder for them to talk to talk to one “friend for hours” it’s that simple! Or, yes! Another is he probably isn’t even into you like you think he is. Sorry!

  10. lucioid3013 says:

    Like the old book said. =Men gossip more than us women. So That should tell us women that Men obviously likes to talk more. If you really think about it it Seems to me it’s all about competition…(translation) Meaning = “stop giving your man a lot of attention”. Love him less. Treat him like as if he’s another one of ur friends. (Advice from a guy). Especially if he’s not paying you & or giving you the attention you deserve.

  11. Cj Daniels says:

    1.) As a man, I don’t like to hear about how negative your day was unless you and I make a concerted effort and plan to fix. Yes, I don’t mind hearing you vent once in a while. I understand people sometimes just want you to listen and understand but I don’t want to hear the same problem day after day. I’m a goal oriented man who gets problems solved. If I feel like I don’t have any control over a situation, It frustrates me.

    2.) I hate long pauses. It feels awkward and I feel like I have better things to do with 2 hands. Not to mention the unnecessary radiation around my head. Again, I’m goal oriented, so Long pauses feel highly highly unproductive.

    3.) Being a good conversationist is great. I can speak to you for 7 hours

  12. I.M.J. says:

    CJ Daniels, you and I sound like the same person.

    I don’t mind talking on the phone, however I don’t like being on the phone if there is not much to talk about. I also don’t appreciate the texting after we’ve hung up asking “are you still into me”.

    I can’t stand dead air space on phone convos, don’t like excessive texting, and don’t like hearing too much about how bad her day was if all she wants to do is complain about it. We do all need to vent from time to time, but I don’t need every detail, day in and out. It’s an exhausting proposition.

    Men and women are different. Such an obvious statement, but so poorly understood. And it seems society wants men to kowtow to the female point of view and always be the one to make concessions or that something is wrong with us because we don’t like talking a lot about nothing.

    I once talked on the phone for 12 hours with my GF when we were getting to know each other, so am no stranger to good convo. I love it, but quantity ? quality.

  13. Christine says:

    This is a great read; pretty funny too! I agree with Cj Daniels that the longer I keep my boyfriend on the phone, I’m actually putting more radiation in both our brains. My boyfriend is a very active, purpose-driven guy who detests talking on the phone. At one point, I did feel insecure about it because I had never experienced this but now I understand his personality….and even dislike chatting on the phone for a long time myself. Emails over texts are even better. Still, he puts forth effort into listening and staying on the phone for me long enough to hear some details. Meanwhile, I cut our conversations shorter. We both compromise. One other thing to think about ladies..how long a man talks to you should not be a measurement of his love. I had two relationships with charming, adventurous, exciting men who talked on the phone with me much longer than my present boyfriend. They both cheated. I’ve been in my longest relationship yet with the first man I trust fully, although he hates the phone. I’ll take the one who is less chatty. 🙂

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