No one wants to feel as though they are being taken for granted in a relationship. In fact, this spells the end of the road for many, especially if nothing changes. If you feel put upon, then maybe you need to learn how to make a guy realize he’s losing you and give him the nudge he needs. If he’s stopped appreciating all the things you do for him, he’s either over it, or he’s getting too much of everything his own way.
You think back to when you first met. When your guy was so romantic. Always complimenting you, flirting with you, being polite, taking you out, and romancing you while being thoughtful and kind.
Now you are lucky if you even get so much as a grunt from the sofa as he yells at you over the sports channel while you make him yet another dinner! It’s a common scenario, but that doesn’t mean you should put up with it. [Read: Am I being taken for granted? 16 Discreet signs]
Everyone does this sometimes. You do it, but you probably don’t realize. However, in a relationship, when you’re being taken for granted over a sustained period of time, it leads to dissatisfaction and major problems.
When you’ve been together a long time, it’s normal to become too comfortable. You know each other so well that you think you can do or say whatever you want, within reason. Is it right? No, but it’s normal.
The key is to stop yourself before you start acting in a way which is nothing short of disrespectful to your partner. Communication is key here. Before things get too bad, talk about it, explain how it makes you feel. Just because occasionally taking people for granted is normal in life, that doesn’t mean you should put up with it over the long-term and allow your relationship to turn into something that no longer serves you well or makes you happy. [Read: 10 Negative effects of taking someone for granted you can’t undo]
If all this sounds like your man, then you may *rightly* be thinking about walking away if it’s been going on for a long time. Before you decide to put the brakes on your relationship, it is a good idea to assess whether you think the relationship is worth the extra work.
If you think your relationship is indeed worth fighting for, you need to make your man sit up and take notice. If he suddenly realizes he is losing you, he should start fighting to make sure that doesn’t happen. Below you’ll find some tips on how to make a guy realize he’s losing you, and give him the firm shove that he needs to change his ways.
This hopefully leads to a realization of how much he takes you for granted and changes your relationship for the better. [Read: 15 reasons why you’re bored with your relationship]
So how do you go about making you man realize he is about to lose you? Try these useful techniques.
One of the easiest ways to signal to a guy that you are losing interest and patience in him is by cutting off communication altogether. He might be used to you replying to his messages and returning his phone calls as soon as possible. Always being at his beck and call whenever he deems it the right time to get in touch.
No doubt when you want to get hold of him, it is quite a different matter. Turn the tables on him and let him see how it feels by not returning his calls or answering his messages. He’ll soon realize how distant you are being and starts to worry that maybe you’ll soon cut him out for good. [Read: 13 needy signs you’re too available for your man]
Of course, one of the many reasons men end up taking their partners for granted is because they get way too comfortable. You end up falling into a bad pattern where you do so much for him. He gets so used to it that he starts expecting this should be the way things are.
You cook him dinner, clean the house, do the laundry, pick up the groceries, pull his beard hair out of the sink, pick up his socks from the floor, and so on. He expects you to do everything for him—so stop. As soon as he fends for himself once more he will realize how reliant he is on you and start getting his act together. [Read: 16 reasons why you’re always being taken for granted]
Don’t sit around and wait for him to suggest going on a date. Go out without him! Call your friends, put your glad rags on, and head out for a fun night on the town. Don’t ask his permission. Avoid leaving his dinner prepared in the fridge before you leave. Don’t tell him what time to expect you home.
Act more independently. When he recognizes you are out having the time of your life and he is sitting at home eating a microwave meal, he’ll realize he might be losing you. He’ll realize he needs you more than ever. [Read: Yawn! What to do when you’re stuck with a boring boyfriend]
Does your life simply revolve around the things the two of you do together? Perhaps it is time to get a new hobby. How to make a guy realize he’s losing you is about not doing what you did before and not waiting around for him. Focus on yourself and show that you’re enjoying it.
Having time just for you, and a little world he has no part of makes him feel as though you are distancing yourself from him. You’re becoming more independent and relying on him less for your social life. This probably makes him jealous. He’ll want to win back your attention!
Don’t share all your friends. Keep some separate and make a point of spending more time with them. He’ll soon see you’re out socializing while he is in every night alone. He’ll constantly wonder what you are doing and miss you too! He’ll also wonder what you’re getting up to. It’s not the best tactic to try and make people jealous but sometimes it’s the shove they need! [Read: How to make more friends when you’re feeling lonelier than ever]
Generally acting distant and disinterested in him is sometimes all you should do to get him to realize he is losing you. If he thinks he drove you to the point where you just don’t care anymore he’ll want to reverse his behavior quickly – otherwise he’ll be afraid he’ll lose you forever. [Read: How to make a guy jealous: 30 wicked ways to get his attention back]
If he is used to getting his own way all the time it is time to put your foot down. When he realizes he needs to tow the line in order to keep you, he’ll have to make a choice or you’ll be gone. Being firm with him and not letting him get what he wants all the time makes you more assertive and attractive too!
If things have become too much for you to handle, go for the straight up cold shoulder. Ignore him completely *even if you live together*. This might be hard and an extreme measure, but at least this way he’ll know you mean business! [Read: How to perfect the silent treatment in a relationship]
Tell him you want to take a break. This might be completely unexpected to him, and he’ll be totally shell-shocked. However, once he realizes just how unhappy you have been and how vulnerable your relationship is, he’ll start changing his ways to make sure he doesn’t lose you. [Read: How taking a break in a relationship works]
Take a holiday, a mini vacation, or a road trip with your friends and make it clear he is not invited. The more fun things you do without him, the more obvious it becomes to him that you are drifting further and further away from him. He’ll hate it and start to take action to pull things back to how they were before.
Don’t be at his beck and call. If he is usually the one calling the shots about when you talk or meet, take more control. Tell him you are busy or have other plans—don’t elaborate further. Cancel dates and be more elusive about what you are doing. He’ll realize you are losing interest in him and make much more of an effort to impress you. [Read: 12 Signs of indifference in a relationship that predict a real drift]
This might be another harsh measure, but it will be clear to him he is losing you if you are happy to flirt with other guys in front of his face! However, realize that this is quite a risky tactic and could risk infuriating him. That in itself could cause a major argument and problem. So, when flirting, make it friendly flirting, with just a slight edge to make him wonder what’s going on. [Read: 15 things to remember if you’re married and flirting]
Sometimes the best way to let a guy know he’s losing you is simply by telling him. Sit down and explain how you feel. Honesty is the best policy, after all! Communication is the only way to improve things in a relationship – your man isn’t a mindreader. Maybe he doesn’t know how his actions are making you feel. Maybe he means nothing by it at all and he’s simply become a little comfortable. You wont know unless you talk about it!
If you want it, go for it, but a good tactic is to hold back on intimacy and take away the one thing he loves! He’ll wonder why you don’t want him as much as before. This tactic will work much better if you add in several of the others we’ve talked about too, as he’ll start to put two and two together, wondering what the whole picture is. [Read: Why your long-time girlfriend refuses to have sex]
If you’re always the girlfriend who asks how his day was and enquiring what’s wrong when he seems down, stop. It will probably go totally against your instincts and be pretty tough to keep up, but you must do it. This shows him that you’re losing interest. You might not be really, but he doesn’t have to know that! He’ll question why you’re not your normal concerned self and start to worry if he’s losing you.
This one might sound odd when we’re talking about how to make a guy realize he’s losing you, but stick with it. Maybe he just needs a physical nudge. However, only do this if you want to change something for you. If you want to change your hair and you’ve never had the nerve to go for it before, do it now. He’ll be stunned with your new look and he’ll start to see you in that old light he fell for again.
Do you normally wait for him to make all the decisions? Perhaps he often decides where you go for lunch or what you do at the weekends. If so, you start choosing and do things without him. He’ll wonder why you’ve suddenly become assertive and decisive and it will get his brain whirring overtime. [Read: Indecisiveness: When your inability to decide is a decision too]
If a certain type of behavior usually presses your buttons, avoid it. For instance, if he goes out with his friends and comes home super-late, that’s probably something that you normally get angry about and let him know. However, the next time he does it, don’t react. It might take all your strength, but avoid doing it. You might have to repeat this a couple of times but he’ll soon start to question why you’re not so bothered anymore.
When you’re talking about things that are happening in the near or distant future, don’t make solid plans or agree to anything. If he brings up the subject of where you’re going for your vacation, be very vague and indifferent to the plans and don’t seem too concerned about them. When he tries to talk about the weekend and what’s going to happen, shrug your shoulders and say that you’re not sure yet.
Sometimes a taste of his own medicine will do him good. Start taking him for granted just as he is doing to you. He’ll soon realize and start to wonder what is going on. He’ll question whether you care anymore or whether you’ve had your head turned by someone else. For sure, it’s game playing, but when you’re learning how to make a guy realize he’s losing you, games sometimes need to be played. [Read: Playing games in a relationship: When it’s okay & when it harms you]
Well, if after all of the above nothing changes, you have a solid decision to make. If he’s willing to see the error of his ways and change, that’s great. As we explained before, sometimes people just get too comfortable and don’t realize what they’re doing.
However, if you’ve tried different things, you’ve sat down and talked about it, and nothing really changes, ask yourself whether this is what you want over the long-term. He’s obviously not showing you the care, attention, or respect you deserve. In that case, why not walk away and find someone who is willing to make you the center of their world? Even then, work to be the very center of your own world and not always trying to fight for the attention of someone who doesn’t care.
[Read: I hate my boyfriend: 13 sure-fire ways to get him to dump you]
These 20 tips help you show your man he is losing you. Hopefully, he does something about it, so you don’t walk away for good!
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