You’re too busy being fantastic to worry about being heartbroken. Learning how to get over him fast is the only logical solution.
You’ve got a lot going on in your life, okay? You don’t need to waste your time and energy trying to get over this guy that clearly didn’t see how fantastic you are. Don’t give him that time: Learn how to get over him fast, and leave him in the dust.
They say there are two certainties in life: death and taxes. But there’s one more—heartbreak. I hate to be the one to break the news to you, but heartbreak is an inevitable part of life. It never gets easier. It’s always going to hurt, guys. But maybe we can make the process a little bit smoother the next time it comes around. [Read: The 9 step guide to mending your heart]
My first heartbreak and learning how to get over him
Okay, so picture this. It’s 2010, and I’m standing in my best friend’s bedroom while we do each other’s hair and makeup. We’re getting ready for the night of our lives. At least the night of our young lives.
It was semi-formal night. Alright, maybe I just hyped this event up a lot more than it really was. It wasn’t even cool enough to be a regular formal, it was only a semi-formal, but that was all we got! I grew up in a tiny town, with a tiny high school, and we didn’t exactly do anything big.
Anyways, on to the traumatic details of my high school experience: I had a date for this shin-dig. I was so excited about it because I was going to this dance with somebody that I had been crushing on for literally years. He asked me, and I was completely taken aback. I was 15, wore too much eyeliner, and thought crimping my hair was a good idea. *If you don’t know what hair crimping is, please Google it because I need you to fully understand how dreadful this trend was*.
Long story short, he texted me an hour before we were supposed to meet up and said he wasn’t going anymore and that he was really sorry. So that really put a downer on the whole night. What made it worse was he actually showed up to the formal with another girl.
First and last high school dance I ever attended *I only wish this were actually true*. Prior to this, I don’t think I had even known what heartbreak meant. He started it all for me. However, by some glitch in the universe, he kickstarted a chain reaction of heartbreak from then on out.
So, obviously there are much bigger heartbreaks in life than some awkward pubescent boy standing you up at a high school dance. I’ve definitely experienced some intense heartbreak in my lifetime, but here’s the point: Once you learn how to get over him once, you can get over him again *regardless of who “him” might be*.
#1 Develop a loathing for him. This seems a little harsh, because sometimes breakups and heartbreaks are mutual. They might actually be a super nice guy. But do you know how difficult it is to get over a nice guy? Impossible. You need to put a target on him, as public enemy number one. Tell yourself you despise him.
#2 Eliminate the evidence. Old sweaters? Gone. Photos? Gone. Cute letters? SUPER GONE. Eliminate any evidence that he ever existed. Oh, and stop going to that cute pub down the street that you used to frequent when you were together. You don’t need that awkward “Where’s ________?” conversation. Just trust me on this. Rid yourself of his possessions and anything that reminds you of him.
#3 Social media cleanse. Delete him off all your social media. You don’t need to see his posts. It only tortures you. Even if you ended on good terms, delete him.
If you really ended on good terms, explain to him that you need to get over him, and the only way to do that is to forget about him for a while. If he is really a good guy, he should understand that.
#4 Save your photos together. I know I told you to get rid of any photos you have with him. I meant physical copies. Unless they are Polaroid pics, keep those. If they are print outs of digital photos that you backed up somewhere online or on your computer, get rid of them. However, with digital photos, I want you to save them all to a USB key.
Then delete them from anywhere else on your computer or social media. You don’t need a surprise reminder of him. But, one day, you may want to look back on these photos, so keep them on a USB key in a drawer somewhere. Then, you can look at them when you are ready—actually ready.
#5 Acknowledge your good times together. Loathe him, hate him, but remind yourself that there is clearly something you saw in him because he made you happy at some point. Accepting the fact that he once made you happy but doesn’t anymore is a huge step in getting over him.
Sometimes people are great individuals, and even great as friends, but as a romantic couple they don’t work. Maybe their values are different or life goals don’t match up. It happens, so even though you hate him initially to get over him, eventually acknowledge him for the good things he did.
#6 Thank him for what he taught you. Please don’t actually, because that just opens a whole can of worms that you don’t want. Deep inside, thank him and appreciate him because this relationship taught you many valuable lessons.
He might have taught you to be more patient, or to not put with a man coming home at one in the morning every weekend. Whatever he taught you, you carry it into your next relationship, which will hopefully be better than the last. [Read: 10 lessons your own experiences in love can teach you]
#7Make a change. If this was a long-term relationship, or even just a relationship that burned too bright too fast, you really need to do some soul searching to feel better. The first step in doing so, may be to make a change. Whether a small change like changing your hair, or a big change like moving across the country. Change might be exactly what you need.
#8 Find new friends. This one really sucks, but if you continue hanging out with your mutual friends, you’ll run into him and that is going to be rough. If possible, try hanging out with a new crowd of people, at least for now. Fresh faces may also be the change you need to get over him fast. [Read: 15 ways to make new friends as an adult]
#9 Invest in yourself. You have a lot of free time now. Think about all of the time you spent with him and doing things for him. That is all time you can invest in yourself now. Develop a new hobby, write a book, start working out *and get hot –WOOT WOOT*, or join a club. Whatever it is that you love to do, put more time into doing it. This keeps your mind off of him, and you might even meet somebody new.
#10 Remember that you are worth it. During a breakup, it can be difficult to remember our value. It is a really dark time. Essentially, we are told that we aren’t enough for them. They want something/somebody more.
Remember that some people just don’t match, and it is nobody’s fault. You may not have worked with him, but there are countless other people that you will work wonderfully with. Be patient with yourself, because finding love isn’t easy.
#11 Reinvent yourself. When we date another person, it can be difficult to keep ourselves intact. We lose ourselves in relationships and in other people. When those people leave us, we are often left with the pieces of who we used to be. Instead of trying to figure out how to get over him fast, focus on how to find yourself fast. [Read: How to feel good about yourself and kick-ass in life]
#12 Date yourself. Don’t go out looking for another man to replace the one who just broke your heart. In the long run, you will be hurt again and need to get over him too. Try dating yourself for a change. Treat yourself to dinner and a movie, and get to know yourself. You might be surprised to find out that you actually enjoy your own company.