Being ghosted sucks, not knowing whether you’re or not you’re actually being ghosted is worse. So, what are the signs you’re being ghosted?
As someone who has been ghosted more times than she would like to admit, I can say it is not something you see always coming. I’ve put together a list of the signs you’re being ghosted to help you know what’s happening… or not happening.
Sure, sometimes you get a feeling, but other times the rug is ripped right out from under you.
And then there are the times you think you’re being ghosted, but you were just jumping to conclusions.
When someone ghosts you, it isn’t always a slowing down of conversation. Sometimes ghosting really does come out of the blue. Other times you don’t even know if you’re being ghosted.
The signs you’re being ghosted differ from the signs you’re about to be ghosted. One tells you what is happening now while the other gives you a foreshadowing.
Now, there will not always be clear signs you’re being ghosted beforehand so you can prepare yourself, but when they are there, they help you handle the whole situation a heck of a lot better.
#1 You’re always texting first. Maybe at one point you talked nonstop, but if you find yourself always reaching out first, there is a reason. Even if they respond, they may just not be prepared to totally ghost yet. But, when someone wants to talk to you, they reach out. [Read: Calm steps to deal with the emotion of being ghosted]
#2 Their answers are brief. If they just barely answer, they are preparing to ghost. They may even be hoping that by slowly backing away, you’ll just get the picture and stop reaching out.
#4 There are no endings to conversations. Remember when he used to say goodnight or try to stay awake to talk to you? Or when you would wake up to a “Good morning, beautiful,” text? Well, before he ghosts you, he’ll stop putting that effort in.
Conversations will die out but not in the normal way. They will die out because he won’t answer questions or respond regularly.
#5 He’s ghosted you before. If he ghosted you in the past and then came back to see if you were still available and you gave him another chance, he will most likely do it again. I’m sorry to be the one to tell you that guys rarely see their wrongdoings and come around.
What likely happened was he got dumped or ghosted by someone else and wanted to see if you were still interested purely to boost his fragile ego. He may even have disappeared for days before, but responded when you reached out so you forgot about it, but that was just his first attempt. [Read: Guys who ghost and come back – How to handle the zombies of dating]
#6 It was too good to be true. I hate to be so bitter because it would be nice if things that seemed too good to be true were just true. Usually, they aren’t. If everything felt too perfect right off the bat, it’s probably because it was.
You didn’t just meet a guy who agrees with you about everything and wants all the same things in life. He was probably lying, but will soon decide it’s not worth it.
#7 You told him you’re a slow mover. This is when I often get ghosted. Honestly, I think it is a good way to weed out the decent guys from the ghosters. As soon as you say anything about being a slow mover intimately, he may back off.
#8 Plans are canceled or never even made. I know long-term boyfriends ghost, but it is definitely most common after one date or no dates at all. I cannot even count how many times I chatted with someone for weeks intimately only for us to never even meet.
If you make plans, but things never line up, and he never initiates a date, he is probably going to ghost you.
#9 You’re ghosted a lot. I hate that this is true, but it is. If you have been ghosted before or even ghosted regularly, it is likely to happen again.
Even though we hate the feeling, we are attracted to or at least comfortable with the same types of people. That means, unfortunately, ghosts are our type.
If you noticed the previous signs, you probably already know what’s about to happen. If everything seemed fine until now, you probably feel super confused.
Is he ghosting you or is he busy? Is he ghosting you or did he fall down a manhole? If these things are happening, I am sorry to say, you are being ghosted.
#1 He hasn’t reached out in days. This is one of those telltale signs you’re being ghosted. If you haven’t heard from him with all the forms of communication there are nowadays, it isn’t because he can’t reach out. He just isn’t interested. [Read: 15 ways to ghostbust a ghoster like a real badass]
#2 He hasn’t responded to your texts. Sure, sometimes people are busy and overwhelmed and don’t initiate texts. But if he doesn’t respond when you text him, that is another sign you’re being ghosted. Everyone looks at their phone at least a few times a day. He definitely saw your message.
#3 He blocked or unfriended you on social media. In this age, when someone doesn’t respond to our texts, it is pretty easy to tell if they’re online elsewhere. But, if for some reason he disappeared off your feed, he’s unfriended you, not because he went on a social media hiatus.
#4 He’s still active online. In the case that he didn’t care enough to block you, he is still online but blatantly ignoring you without even trying to hide it.
#6 Flashing ellipses. I’m sure you, like me, have read a text and forgot to respond. But, if you send him a text and he reads it, and you see those three little flashing ellipses but no actual answer, that is the kiss of death.
#7 You’re making excuses. When ghosted, it is nearly impossible to not make excuses. If you don’t, you just feel like it is something you did or said. By making excuses, we hold onto just a touch of hope. I get it, but if you must make excuses for why he isn’t reaching out, he is ghosting you.
#8 You don’t want to admit it to your friends. I hate this part. You told your friend about this guy you’re excited about. When they ask how it’s going, you feel ashamed and embarrassed to tell them that you haven’t heard from him.
If you feel hesitant to tell your friends what’s going on or even feel the need to lie or exaggerate the truth, he is ghosting you. You just don’t want to admit it.
#9 You want answers. Being ghosted will overload your mind. You will ask yourself all sorts of questions about why this is happening. If you don’t wonder about it, either you have killer confidence or he isn’t ghosting you. [Read: 5 signs of ghosting and 5 ways to deal with it]
#10 You can’t decide what to do. It is hard to be ghosted. You cling to the hope that he’ll text you, apologizing about losing his phone. But you are also pissed that he could be ghosting you. You don’t know whether to move on or wait and see.
The reason you don’t know how to feel or what to do is because you don’t know what’s happening now. I do. You’re being ghosted.