So you’re in the throes of passion, and you’re doing your best move on your lady love, the one that’s always sure to please. She’s writhing and loving it, capping the night off with a howling orgasm and trembling legs. But is she faking it, or is she working on her Oscar nod? Odds are if you’ve had a lot of sex, your femme fatal has probably faked it at one point or another for any host of reasons. [Read: 22 common reasons why she’s faking it]
Keep in mind that your woman faking it doesn’t necessarily mean you’re terrible in bed. Women fake it for all sorts of reasons such as being too tired, nervous, drunk, or simply realizing she’s not going to achieve orgasm, and she doesn’t want you to feel bad about your mad skills.
On the other hand, you may not be the Musketeer you think you are between the sheets. She may be faking it, because you don’t last long enough, or can’t seem to find her clit despite years of sexual intercourse, or she just wants you to finally get it over with.
How can you tell if it’s a fake orgasm?
Is there really any way to tell if your girlfriend is having a truthful O? In reality, probably not. However, to the highly trained eye, there are a number of giveaways you can look for.
#1 Go down on her. For as long as it takes, get down there and make her orgasm. This is a surefire, and sometimes only way a woman can orgasm while being intimate. Pay attention to what she does during her natural orgasm and compare and contrast to those fake follies she’s giving you during intercourse. [Read: 8 tricks to give her oral sex like a pro]
#2 She looks bored. A clear giveaway to your girlfriend’s faux-O is if after 10 minutes of monotonous bouncing on top of you, she suddenly climaxes. If she looks bored or if she looks like she wants you to just hurry it up, that’s probably the case. [Read: 30 super sexy ideas to spice up your sex life]
#3 Trembling. This is iffy, as women have mastered the art of the fake tremble and shake. However, if she’s usually on the tame or more vocal side during her faux-orgasms, and one day you find her muscles trembling beneath or above you, she’s likely had a real one.
#4 Her moans. Is she repeating the same noises over and over again? Just remember, her saying she’s coming does not an orgasm make. Women are well-versed at faking it, with the noises, trembles and all.
#5 Timing. No matter how much she tries to fool you into thinking she’s the queen of quick coming, she isn’t. Women generally take an average of 20+ minutes to orgasm. If this number hasn’t gone by, or if you are in a position that isn’t stimulating her clit, odds are she’s feeding you lies, bro.
#6 Sweating. This is one thing women can’t fake, but if they could, they would. If she’s really coming to orgasm, odds are she’s producing a bit of sweat on her forehead or under the back of her knees.
#7 Vaginal contractions. This is the real deal. The never-fail, can’t-fool-you sign if she’s really faking it or not. When a woman comes to climax, the uterus contracts noticeably, clenching quickly against your fingers or your penis. The operative word here is “quickly,” as women know how to do Kegels contractions, but those contractions are slower when done at will. You’re looking for a “fluttering” feeling, and not timed clenches.
This may be hard to feel on your penis, as not only are you probably too excited or having an O yourself, while she’s climaxing. But if you’re a good boy and wrapped yourself with a condom, it can make these contractions more difficult to feel. However, if you really pay attention, or if you are using your fingers inside her, you will be able to feel these contractions. They are extremely noticeable.
Fun fact: If you are in doggy style, or a position that leaves you open to stare openly at her backside, you should be able to see these contractions plainly from her anus.
#8 She is silent afterwards, or sneaks off to the bathroom for 10+ minutes. This is a clear sign she’s either A) disappointed or B) finishing herself off in the bathroom. Believe it.
#9 She stops having “orgasms.” If you start receiving a little more direction or your woman is taking longer than the usual 5 minutes to climax, odds are she’s finally fed up with the show she’s been putting on and is now ready to get real. Don’t be offended! This is a good thing. After all, you don’t want her to fake it, right? If she’s finally starting to take the reins sexually, and is striving for fabulous sex with you, then your best bet would be to listen and learn. [Read: Foreplay done right – how to really turn her on!]
#10 She has multiple, multiple orgasms. This means she’s trying to encourage you, and keep you busy while she’s prepping for the real deal. There are some instances where women get turned on by just thinking of or re-enacting an orgasm. Yes, it’s strange, but some women are down for that.
Dealing with the faux-O
#1 Don’t blame yourself for not being able to tell. Women have got their O-faces, rhythms, moans, screams, sighs and trembles down-pat. Don’t be too hard on yourself if you can’t tell the difference between her real orgasm and a fake one.
#2 Don’t freak out. After all, her faking is probably coming from a place of frustration or embarrassment. Frustrating as it may be for you, it may be doubly frustrating for her because one, she can’t come, and two, she doesn’t know how to help you make her reach her peak.
If you do feel the need to bring it up to your girlfriend, let her know that, while polite and all, her faking an orgasm is only making matters worse. After all, you want to please her, don’t you? And if all she’s doing is faking it, she’s never giving you the opportunity to master your craft.
#3 Be as open as you can. Get real with your woman and start asking her what she likes, what you can do for her, what she’s always wanted to try, and how she likes it best. Take your time. Women don’t orgasm like men do, they need time and slow stimulation.
Don’t send your hand down there rubbing it back and forth on a dry vagina like you’re in a porno. That hurts. Let your woman know you’re there for her pleasure and do your best to blast your communication wide open.
[Read: 18 sex secrets to make your woman want more]
Orgasms can be difficult, especially with someone who’s lying about theirs. Pay attention to the tell-tale signs, and encourage your woman to help you out, and you’ll be well on your way to giving her genuine O’s.
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Waverly Smith is a freelance writer who has been getting paid for spreading her sarcastic take on love, life, and sex since 2010. She is many things that peo...
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