Being fawned over by different men may seem like the ultimate compliment. But the problem is lots of men have a really awful approach. Just because some guy is attracted to you, it doesn’t mean you owe them your attention.
So if you’re the type of girl who’s sick and tired of being pursued by men whom you have no intention of dating, here are some strategies that can help you reject them.
This can be that arrogant guy who can’t stop talking about his expensive car, his high-paying job or how many women he’s slept with. For one reason or another, he thinks his approach to getting women is effective. If you sense that this guy seems like the type who has zero sensitivity to your feelings, and just wants to pursue you, here are some things you can do:
#1 “Listen. Your ‘strategy’ isn’t working.” Note how you have to say “listen” at the start. This is because jerks usually love the sound of their own voice so much, that you won’t even get to put a word in. Before he realizes that he has just been rejected, slide off the bar stool and casually walk over to a more quiet area.
#2 “I’m allergic to misogyny/bullshit.” This is a bit extreme, but it’s a slap in the face for men who just can’t seem to get over their own machismo. If you notice that he’s being rude, demeaning or sexist, it’s time to use this line. And once again, it’s a good idea to move on to another area.
#3 “You don’t get it, do you?” If he persists or he keeps following you, this line should get him in check. While he’s trying to figure out why you’re not attracted to his greasy hair and awful pickup lines, take it as your cue to signal to security that you’re being harassed by a clueless buffoon.
#4 “I’m calling security if you don’t stop.” Sometimes, it takes a firm grasp on their collar to figure out that they’re being rejected. It’s a safety measure made especially for their kind.
[Read: 10 seriously sneaky techniques guys use to try to sleep with you]
Rejecting a friend is tough, but necessary, especially if you are seriously not attracted to him. Of course, you can’t use the same tactics as you would with the jerk since your friend’s feelings still matter. This is the time when you need to use tact and subtlety to let the guy down gently.
#1 “I’m sorry. I just want us to be friends.” This is as honest as honesty gets. But consider it a necessary evil. At least when you give him this line, you won’t be leading him on. It will hurt him, for sure, but it’s still best to address the situation in a way that leaves no room for doubt.
#2 “I don’t want to ruin our friendship.” It’s a common line, and it’s common for a reason. Of course, you don’t want to ruin the friendship you’ve so carefully cultivated! Romance entails passion, fights and disagreements that may never be mended, and may never be reverted to its purer state of friendship. Tell him that your friendship feels perfect as it is and that you don’t want to ruin it by pushing it to the edge of romance.
#3 Be extra nice to him. You’ve hurt the guy’s feelings, but since he’s your friend, you can’t just leave him hanging and wallowing in misery. Comfort him and try to cheer him up by still hanging out with him from time to time. But remember to distance yourself from him a bit since you’re a living reminder that he’s just been tossed into the friend zone.
#4 Set him up on a date with someone. For starters, tell him that there are other women out there who are like you but can reciprocate his feelings. As proof, see if you have any friends who are looking to date someone new and set them up. The fact that you know their tastes and preferences can potentially mean that they’ll hit it off really well. Who knows, you might be looking at a future in match-making!
[Read: 20 unmistakable signs your friend is crushing on you]
Dating an officemate can be exciting and fun, but it also opens you up to a lot of workplace gossip. In addition to this, dating someone you work with may even be against office policy. If you don’t want the awkwardness or the potential grounds for termination looming over your head each day, reject that amorous coworker with these tactics. [Read: 6 simple tips to deal with nosy coworkers]
#1 Mention office policy against dating. Chances are he’ll take a hint, since he definitely wouldn’t want to give up his job for just one date with you. If he doesn’t take the hint, casually mention that your boss won’t like this or that the HR department won’t be too pleased to know about this little issue. He’ll back off before you can utter your next sentence.
#2 “I’m putting my career first.” Tell him that an office romance isn’t really your thing, because you want to focus on your job whenever you’re at work. Tell him that you’re aiming for work advancement and that dating someone in the office would only serve to distract you from important tasks. This can either be true or it can be a lie, but it’s a good way to reject a guy while being professional at the same time!
#3 “I keep my work and personal life separate.” If you don’t want to seem like you’re married to your job, you can still reject a guy by using this line. It shows that you don’t want to muddle up your career and your personal life, so you can’t date anyone in the office. The bad side of this is that if the guy resigns, he might think that he’ll finally have a chance with you. But since you know him and he can be called a “friend,” then you can use the tactics in mentioned in the section for rejecting a friend.
[Read: 8 tips to be good friends with your coworkers]
Strangers who come up to you can actually be quite fun to play around with. You don’t know who they are, but you know that you’re not interested in them. Since they know nothing about you, you can come up with the most whimsical stories to keep them away!
#1 “I’m actually a lesbian/married/engaged/taken.” A guy wouldn’t continue to pursue someone who’s clearly interested in the opposite sex or is already taken. He should be able to take the hint by now. But if he persists, then he may just be looking for someone to talk to. You can choose to indulge him in some small talk, or you can politely tell him that you’re just looking for some alone time.
#2 “I’m scheduled to go to prison tomorrow, want to be pen pals?” The mere mention of going to prison would make any guy want to back off. But if he insists, make sure you have enough creative juices to come up with a story that’s believable enough. The problem with this is that there’s the off chance that the guy you’re rejecting is on his way to prison too. Oops!
#3 “No hablo Ingles/Watashi wa eigo no hanasanai.” This means “I don’t speak English” in Spanish and Japanese. But do feel free to pick a language of your choice. To make it super believable, make sure you have your accent down pat and you finish it off with a gigantic smile. Speaking with a woman who doesn’t speak his language may be too much effort for him to muster, so he’ll probably just back off and quit pestering you.
[Read: 15 essential relationship tips for the single woman]
Whether you choose the in-your-face honest approach or one that’s a little more subtle, it’s important to ensure that the guy gets the hint that you’re not interested. If he’s as daft as a brick wall, it may be time to call security to get him off your back.
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