For a long time, women have always been told to play hard to get. And for just as long, men have known that women like to be chased. But have you ever wondered why do men really like a chase?
In recent years, most women have completely misunderstood the chase.
Many women wonder why they’re making a guy chase them even when they’re actually totally in love with the guy themselves.
Most women have been told that men like a chase. But then again, why do men like a chase?
To excel in the game of dating, you really need to understand the whys before you blindly follow something that’s been passed from one woman’s ear to another.
So why do men like a chase? [Read: How to tell when a guy is jealous: 25 hints he just can’t hide]
Now it’s clear from the title of this feature that men like a chase, but why is that?
There are a lot of reasons where a good chase can help you and we’ll get to all of that here.
But you have to keep this in your mind no matter what. If you don’t want to make a man chase you because you’re already madly in love with him, then skip the chase.
Do what your heart tells you, because I wouldn’t want you to lose a great boyfriend material because you made him run around in circles for far too long.
What I’m going to tell you here are the benefits of a chase, and how it can actually help you and better the prospective relationship. And the really good part, in this feature I’ll tell you how to make the chase work in your favor and make the guy fall so madly in love with you, it’ll hurt him to even let you go.
So, are you ready for a real chase? [Read: Guys who play games: 17 signs & reasons why & what you need to do]
In this modern era, most people think men and women are equal. And that is true from an emotional, intellectual, and mental standpoint. But if you think back to the caveman days, there are a lot of biological differences between the genders that helped the cave people survive.
And while we think that humans have evolved far past the ancient world, in some ways we haven’t. And here’s why.
Simply put, men are stronger than women. That fact is not a big surprise, but it does relate to “the chase,” believe it or not. [Read: What is a fuckboy? 18 signs to recognize him and get away in time]
Okay, so back when human beings were living in huts, hunting wild animals for food, and figuring out how to cook it over the fire they had just invented, the relationship between men and women was very different. It was very complimentary and symbiotic.
You probably remember reading about the hunters and the gatherers when you were in school. Well, the men were the hunters, and the women were the gatherers. The men left the family *or tribe* and went out to hunt and kill animals so that they could feed themselves and their families.
Meanwhile, the women gathered plants and related food items because that did not require a “hunting instinct.” Instead, their instinct was to tend to the babies and children to make sure they survived. That required a maternal instinct.
As you can imagine, the “hunting instinct” an the “maternal/gathering instinct” are two very different things. [Read: How to play hard to get with a guy: 20 secrets to leave him smitten]
Men have much more testosterone and muscle mass than women, even today. That’s because they needed that in order to have the endurance to chase the animals in order to kill them.
Fast forward 10,000 or so years, and men still have the “hunting instinct.” The only difference is now there are no real animals to hunt *at least in the modern, civilized world.* So, did that hunting instinct just disappear? No.
While our society has evolved an extreme amount since the caveman days, our human brains have not changed that much. The basic survival instincts are still there.
That is a very condensed explanation of the biology of males and females. Even though men don’t hunt animals and drag them back to the hut to feed their families, their hunting instinct has to go somewhere these days. And where does it go? Into “chasing” or “hunting” women. [Read: Do guys play hard to get? The Truth, 21 reasons & what you should do]
Ever heard men complaining that they hate the chase and they just can’t stand a woman who plays hard to get? Well, they probably don’t realize it themselves, but all guys love a good chase. Chasing a wonderful woman who knows how to make a guy chase her is every guy’s dream. And I’ll tell you how to be that special woman here.
Men like chasing women for two primary reasons, for their ego and to actually understand if they want the girl. But the real reason behind why a woman plays hard to get and makes the men chase her is entirely different.
Men are competitive, they always have been. They know that a great girl gets all the attention in the world. [Read: 21 Signs he want you bad and is irresistibly attracted to you]
Every great guy wants to go out with a great girl. So when a lot of great guys try to woo her and date her, she obviously has a lot of options. The great girl then evaluates the odds and sees which guy likes her a lot more than the others, and also tests her compatibility at the same time. So what guys call a chase isn’t really a chase, it’s the girl’s way of weighing the odds and picking one who seems more determined and willing to prove his love for her.
So when a great guy finally emerges as a winner, he’d obviously know he’s better than all the other guys. Now that’s a huge boner in his ego, and he feels like he’s just won a big prize. But if you don’t have a lot of options in hand, don’t throw the poor fella around just because someone told you so! If a man sees competition, he automatically flips the ego chase switch on, so don’t try to force a chase for the wrong reasons.
[Read: How to increase your sex appeal]
Men fall in love in stages. The first thing they do is make the girl fall in love with them before they even consider whether they should fall back in love with her. All they care at first is about getting the girl to like them. This is the tricky part of a man’s mind that you really need to understand. [Read: The seven stages of love for men]
If you’re too easy to get, he may wonder if he deserves someone better. But if you do end up kissing him on the first date or even having sex with him, just don’t worry about it. The chase only helps you evaluate a dating potential. If you’re certain that both of you like each other already, just take the plunge!
You may try to make a man chase you around for a few weeks, but if he doesn’t really like you or think you’re to-die-for, he may just get bored and walk away halfway through the chase. And you’d look like an idiot when you turn around with a flirty smile and see that the guy’s long gone.
The intensity of a man’s chase depends on how madly in love he is with you. If you really do like a guy who’s pursuing you, then take it easy on him. But if you’re unsure if you like a guy back or wondering if he’s just trying to get into your pants, play hard to get and see if he sticks around.
In a general scenario, women should definitely play hard to get. It makes a guy value the relationship more and helps him understand your worth. And if he values the relationship, he’ll think less about cheating on you or walking out, and spend more time on pleasing you. [Read: The right way to meet the one]
If you want to have a successful relationship with a dating potential, don’t commit to him, at least at the beginning. Don’t tell him that you’re falling for him or that you miss him. When he realizes that he’s made a deep impression on you, he’ll start taking it easy and call the shots instead of trying to woo you.
To give him a chase that he’ll enjoy, every now and then, give him a happy moment out of the blue that’ll give him a boost of renewed vigor to pursue you with more intensity. A happy text out of the blue or a kiss when he least expects it are great starters to let him know that you appreciate his wooing and are slowly starting to fall for him too.
Don’t pursue him back if he lets go of you after a while. Most guys assume that a chase is a game played by the book when it really isn’t. Once a guy knows the girl is interested in him and was only playing hard to get, he’ll start throwing his weight around her.
If a guy genuinely likes you and isn’t trying to get into your pants, he definitely wouldn’t be thinking of turning the tables of the chase just when he’s about to get the girl. [Read: Different ways to end a date]
If a guy is really interested in dating you for who you are and not to win you as a prize to satiate his ego or to get into your pants, he will definitely try his best to win your heart. [Read: How to get to know someone on a date]
When you ignore a guy or treat him badly, it isn’t called a chase. It’s a stupid ploy that never works. Respect the man who pursues you and be nice to him. Thank him and appreciate what he does for you. He’ll like you even more.
If you want to have a successful chase, go out with him and date him with all the excitement and enthusiasm you have in your heart. Let him even know that you’re happy to spend time with him.
Always remember to always stop one step short of what he wants. But give him a glimmer of hope that’s one step higher than the last time the both of you went out. Don’t get it? If you’ve clasped his hand on the first date, allow him to hold your palm on the second. If you’ve exchanged a little peck on the lips on the third date, share a bit more on the next date. It doesn’t matter if you’ve started with just a smile, every now and then, share just a bit more even if you’ve not been on a date with him just yet. It’ll let him know that the relationship is evolving slowly, and it’ll help him realize that you’re starting to like him a lot too. [Read: How to know if you are in love]
If you’re younger and still aren’t ready for kisses and nights in bed, take it slower. If you’ve hugged each other, allow him to hold your hand for a few seconds. If you’ve clasped hands for a few seconds, hold it a bit longer. If you’ve held hands, give him a small kiss on the cheek. But always remember to take it to the next little level only if he does something special for you.
This may not be your typical definition of a chase, but in fact, this is the only way to play the game of a chase between men and women. By taking it slowly, you’re ensuring that the guy you’re dating isn’t just trying to get into your pants. At the same time, by slowing down the progress, you’re slowly giving each of you a chance to completely fall in love with each other without rushing through the steps and letting sexual attraction and lust cloud your judgment.
Sex always has a way of complicating things, so unless you’ve ended up having sex on the first couple of dates, keep your mind clear of everything but love, sexual chemistry and the happiness you feel when it’s just the both of you.
[Read: Signs he’s into you]
Several studies has shown that a relationship that has a longer courting time where two people like each other but haven’t taken the plunge into a romantic relationship yet has a better chance of lasting for a very long time.
By playing hard to get, and yet letting him feel the satisfaction of having progressed on every date that he’s planned for you, you’re ensuring that the attraction isn’t just sexual in nature, and you’re making him fall slowly in love with you instead of just looking for ways to impress you.
Don’t blindly play the chasing game and assume chasing a guy away works because someone said so. Understand why something works and think about it, because that’s the only way to really understand why we do what we do, especially when it comes to relationships where second chances are so difficult to come by.
[Read: Is he really the one for you?]
Try this chase the next time you’re dating a new guy. Both of you will really understand where the relationship is heading. And you’ll realize that it always works in your favor. So why do men like a chase? Well, now you know, don’t you?
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