Male and female friendships can be tricky. On the one hand, I have a number of male friends, and we get along just fine. It’s not always easy to see the signs your male friend has feelings for you, but when you do, it doesn’t really matter. Okay, that’s a lie. I have had the feeling one or two of them liked me, but we either talked about it or slowly created distance between one another.
One of my friends told me he liked me and took a break from our friendship until he felt he could re-enter the friendship whole-hardheartedly. We’re still friends, but we don’t talk as much as we used to. It’s usually what happens after two friends make a decision on the friendship.
Of course, that doesn’t mean it doesn’t hurt and that you don’t feel sad about it. All friendships are valuable and when you start seeing signs your male friend has feelings for you, you have to tread very carefully indeed, if you want to save the friendship. [Read: How to save your relationship: 16 practical ways to make it work]
Does it always mean the end? Not at all. Sometimes however, it changes the whole dynamic and the comfort factor has gone. For that reason, it’s important to be clued up on the signs your male friend has feelings for you, so you’re one step ahead.
You could be really good friends with this guy, and not have a single romantic thought about him. But, you don’t know if he’s sharing those same thoughts. Relationships are complex, and it’s not so black and white.
[Read: Solid signs he’s pretending not to like you but he really does]
We can grow out of those feelings or immerse deeper into those feelings. If you’re reading this, the odds are you feel something is a bit off with your friendship. Maybe you were buddies before, but you’ve felt a slight shift in his behavior. It could be for various reasons, but a common reason would be your male friend has feelings for you. Why shouldn’t he? You’re wonderful!
But, before we jump the gun, let’s find out what’s really going on. Are you just friends? Or do you see signs your male friend has feelings for you? [Read: How to know if a friend likes you romantically even if he’s hiding it]
I’m a big fan of following my gut instinct, and if you feel something has changed in your relationship, it probably has. When it comes to someone’s emotions, follow your gut instinct. If you have something inside of you saying, “he totally likes me,” well, then he probably likes you. Of course, the only way you can find out is if you talk to him about it. [Read: How to tell if someone likes you without having to ask them]
No guy is going to waste their time constantly texting a woman they’re not interested in. Yes, good male friends will text you, but you can go a day or two without contact, and it’s not a big deal. But he makes sure you are in frequent contact throughout the day and never misses one.
When we have feelings for someone, we try our hardest to get physically closer to them. I’m not talking about aggressive and inappropriate touching; it’s more playful and subtle. He’ll brush your hair out of your face, hug you, or stroke your hand. These are very small acts but show he’s physically attracted to you. [Read: The most clearly noticeable signs of body language attraction]
But, actually listens to you. He’s not scrolling on his phone, mumbling, “yeah,” or “oh, cool” when you’re talking. Instead, when there’s something you want to share, he really listens to what you have to say. This doesn’t mean he’s in love with you, but it does show his level of respect for you. And that really matters when you’re trying to see how someone feels about you.
Most guys aren’t going to invest their time getting to really know who you are. It’s really only close friends who go that extra mile to know more about you, and that’s why they’re your close friends. But to get to that level, you will have needed to open up to each other. When you open up, it creates a strong bond.
Shockingly, you don’t really know what’s going on in his love life. Wait, does he even has a love life? He doesn’t really share information with you about that, and if he does, the relationship ends before it even begins. If he’s not talking openly about other women, there may be a good reason why *cough* *cough*. [Read: 17 signs he likes you as more than a friend and wants to ask you out]
If you’re sick, he comes by with home-cooked soup. When you’re sad, he’s right there with a tub of ice cream and your favorite movie. I mean, the guy is treating you as his girlfriend, and if he’s doing these things, you know he has feelings for you. If he was just a good friend, sure, he’d be there for you, but not so intensely.
Go onto his social media, and tell me what you see? Are you basically the only woman on his profile? Unless he doesn’t know any other women, there’s a good reason why you’re the only one in any photograph. If you’re plastered all over his social media, it’s one of those pretty strong signs your male friend has feelings for you.
You’ve hung out with him and his other female friends, but things are a bit different. He treats his other female friends differently than you. He’s not trying to get physically closer to them, he doesn’t flirt with them, or spend his free time with them. But, he is doing all those things with you. [Read: How to handle sexual tension between friends like a platonic pro]
When you’re talking to a potential date, he gets jealous. Sure, he tries to hide it, but you can see in his eyes that he’s not a fan of you talking to other men. And when you tell him about it, he’ll either go quiet or make negative comments about the guy you were talking to.
When we’re talking to people, eye contact is normal. But you know there are different forms of eye contact. The eyes can tell you a lot. If he’s always looking at you, staring and gazing into your eyes lovingly, well, it looks like there’s something more going on than just platonic friendship. [Read: What does eye contact mean to a guy? Is he a subtle flirt?]
Our friends will help us when we’re in a pickle. But there are limits as to what they can do for us. But with him, it looks like there’s nothing he can’t do. Whenever you need him, he’s there without a blink of an eye. There’s no flakiness when it comes to his loyalty to you.
Whatever story you post on Instagram or on Facebook, he’s right there, leaving a comment or like. A comment here and there isn’t a bad thing, but he’s literally all over your social media. People are starting to wonder whether or not you two are dating. [Read: 15 signs your guy friend is totally crushing on you]
The truth always comes out after a couple of drinks. It’s a gift and a curse. When he drinks and is sending you flirty text messages or making comments about you and him, well, then this is a pretty decent hint he likes you. You don’t send texts to someone you don’t like when you’re drunk.
There will be a shift, a change in his behavior. Can you remember when that was? That is probably the point when he started to look at you differently. If you can look back and definitely identify a time when things started to change and feel a little ‘off’ to you, that’s a pretty big sign your male friend has feeling for you. [Read: Does he or doesn’t he? 30 guaranteed signs he likes you]
He might not have been that invested in your love life before, other than what you told him. He probably had his opinions but maybe he kept them to himself. Now however, he’s a lot more interested in who you’re dating and starts to tactfully ask about the people who like your posts on social media.
When you’re with a friend, you don’t tend to feel uncomfortable. However, when you’re with a crush, you do! One of the biggest signs your male friend has feelings for you is when you start to notice him fidgeting or blushing around you. These are tell-tale signs of attraction and it shows that he’s trying to hide what he’s feeling. [Read: Male body language: 24 subtle cues to instantly read his thoughts]
Of course, this doesn’t mean he wasn’t a gentleman before, but guys tend to be a lot more relaxed around girls who are just friends, compared to those they’re attracted to. If he’s suddenly holding doors and wanting to pay for your coffee, it’s a big sign that he’s starting to crush hard.
Does he suddenly start telling you how nice your clothes are? Does he start noticing your new hair ‘do? Are the compliments starting to come your way a lot more than before? It’s one of the big signs your male friend has feelings for you and he’s trying to show you through his compliments. [Read: 25 things guys say when they like you – How to decode the lines they say]
He just wants to be around you and if that means inviting you to hang out with his other friends, he’s going to start doing it. That means he can soak up your presence and time in more ways and you’ll just assume he’s being a social butterfly. Sneaky!
He is suddenly making an effort? That’s probably for your benefit. Does he start making jokes around you in an effort to make you laugh more than normal? Again, he’s trying to impress you and he’ll probably seem awkward and shy when it doesn’t quite go according to plan. [Read: How guys flirt: 15 subtle things guys do to impress a girl]
It’s interesting to learn the signs your male friend has feelings for you, but what are you supposed to do about it? Ah, the million-dollar question! It really depends on how you feel about it and, of course, whether you’re sure you’re reading the signs correctly. Never just jump in and tell him that you know how he feels. You might have it completely wrong and then be extremely embarrassed as a result.
You shouldn’t just look for one or two signs, you need to see at least three quarters of these signs a friend likes you on a regular basis to know that the probability of him crushing in your direction is quite high. Listen to your gut, and if you’re pretty certain, think about how you feel next. [Read: Listen to your gut and give strength to your inner voice]
Is he someone you have feelings for? Be careful that you’re not just thinking it might be a cool thing to try. You have to be 100% sure of your feelings if you’re even going to attempt this. Half-hearted attempts will just ruin the friendship beyond repair.
The next step? Maybe you could try and have a conversation. This is the hard bit. You can’t just come right out and say “I know you have feelings for me”, but you can start dropping hints in his direction and see if he picks up on them. If he does, his attempts to attract you will intensify. Then, you’ll have no doubts. [Read: 14 ways to show a guy you like him, and still be a tease]
Of course, there’s the chance that you’re not interested and you just want to be friends. Should you talk about it or just ignore the signs and hope they go away? You could do either, it really depends on how strong the signs coming your way are. If they’re obvious and it’s making you uncomfortable, sit down and talk about it. A casual “hey dude, what’s going on, I’ve noticed …” should do it. Then, it’s vital that you let him down gently. Tell him that you love him as a friend and you don’t want anything to risk that.
At the end of the day, you can’t try something you’re not keen on just because you don’t want to hurt someone’s feelings. If he values your friendship, he’ll understand, and you should both just try to act as normal as possible. Maybe one of you will need a little space for a while, and that’s okay too. [Read: How to give someone space without losing them: Letting fear go]
My honest opinion is no, it can’t. For that reason, you have to be totally sure that you’re willing to risk the friendship to see if the romantic relationship works out. Not many people break up romantically and get along instantly well afterwards. Sure, some do, but it’s rare. That’s going to have a major effect on your friendship afterwards and to be honest, I doubt it will ever be the same again.
What you have to decide is whether it’s worth taking the risk to find out, or whether your friendship is fine as it is.
[Read: The best way to tell if you guy friend likes you]
After looking at the signs your male friend has feelings for you, what do you think? Do you think he holds a torch for you? If so, tread carefully.
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