Guys and girls just can’t be good friends.
To be truthful, girls can.
But guys can’t. Guys can’t ever be just friends with someone they find attractive. They may hide their feelings for an attractive girl, but inside, it’s always there.
Firstly, are you certain you just want to be friends, and not something more?
A guy who seems like a perfect friend may make for perfect boyfriend material too, you know.
Many close friendships involving opposite sexes usually end up in bed or with hidden infatuations, so you really have to learn to tread carefully.
People say that guys and girls can be friends, and yes, of course they can. But can they be good friends who hang out with each other all the time?
That’s the tricky part.
Instead of trying to figure out how to be just friends, just go along and see where the friendship takes you. You may just end up liking the destination.
[Read: How to ask a guy friend out the classy way]
How to be just friends with a guy – Your side
If you’re certain it’s just friends on your mind, and you want to make it clear to a guy friend of yours, here’s all you need.
# Remember the intentions
Sometimes, it’s easy to have a laugh and a good time with a guy and forget all about your initial intentions to stay as friends. Every time you spend a while with a guy and find yourself wondering if there’s a chance for anything better, remind yourself why you think it’s better to be just friends. Perhaps, he’s a player or a serial cheater or even a helpless two timer. Remind yourself of the things that make him a bad boyfriend material and it may just work.
# Don’t get touchy feely
Don’t get touchy feely in a romantic way. A cuddle or a long hug could feel like a soft pillow. But stay away from an overdose of physical intimacy if you don’t want to send the wrong signals.
A ruffle on the hair or a pat on his back is acceptable, but lingering touches will only send the wrong message.
# Don’t have too many conversations
Long phone conversations and late night texts may seem like fun, but you really need to avoid it. Don’t speak too often or every night with the same guy. There’s a good chance all the long conversations may turn into flirty conversations or words of love. This is especially true if you’re already in another relationship and find yourself bitching about how bad your relationship is to a guy friend.
# Handle the addiction
When you have a lot of common interests, it’s obvious you’ll end up having a lot of great conversations with each other. But if you ever do find yourself getting addicted to him or the other way around, try to have a few conversations with someone else for a few days. In almost all cases, sharing too much special time with each other only leads to a closer relationship which may end in love. [Read: How to kiss a friend and get away with it]
How to stay friends when he’s into you
In most cases between friends of the opposite sex, the guy may initially behave like a good friend. But as the relationship grows, he may try to woo you, flirt with you or even try to seduce you with touches and words. If you want to know how to be just friends with a guy who’s into you, use these tips. [Read: Is he into you?]
# Don’t give him too much attention
You may have a great time around this guy friend of yours, but it’s easy for intentions to be mistaken. Unless you want your friend to think you like him, don’t give him all your attention when other friends are around. By focusing on other people and having conversations with other guys too, he’d be able to see that he’s not getting any special attention from you.
# Drop a few hints
Occasionally drop a few hints to let him know that you have nothing more than just friends in mind. The next time you have a conversation with him, remind him about how great a “friend” he is to you. And at some point in the conversation, let him know that you’re so happy with him and you can’t ever think of changing this perfect friendship you have with him. Once he hears that, there’s a good chance that he’ll back off.
# Share your boyfriend ideas
Let him know of your idea of the perfect boyfriend. If he ever asks you what kind of a guy you’d like to go out with, tell him the exact kind of guy you like. But without hurting his feelings or being too direct about it, add a few traits he doesn’t have. If he’s short, tell him you like tall guys. If he’s muscular, tell him you like lean guys. You get the picture, right?
If all else fails
Sometimes, a guy may just not get the hint. He may constantly try to get touchy feely with you or try to flirt with you in the hope of becoming more than just friends.
[Read: Signs you’re more than just friends]
If you’ve tried all the earlier moves and he’s still not getting the point, perhaps it’s time to tell him the truth. Sometimes, a guy may be so smitten by you or so blind to everything but your compliments that he may assume you like him no matter how many subtle hints you keep dropping at him.
If all else fails, tell him straight that you have nothing more than just friends in your mind. Sometimes, a guy needs to hear the truth as it is to get the point.
“Hey, you know, I’ve been thinking… it seems like our relationship’s been changing quite a bit recently. We’ve been friends for a long time, but all of a sudden, it feels like it’s going in another direction that I’m not too happy about. I like you a lot as a friend, and I just don’t think we’d be as happy being in any other kind of a relationship, you know… I don’t want our friendship to get ruined by doing something stupid. I hope you know that. I just felt like I had to get that thought out of my head…”
Say those lines, and he’ll know exactly what you mean. And the best part, you wouldn’t offend him either!
[Read: Why guy best friends are nothing but trouble]
The next time you find a good guy friend trying to be more than friends, just remember these pointers on how to be just friends. It’s the easiest way to let him know there’s nothing more than just-friends on your mind.
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