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Jealous Boyfriend: A Guide to Turn Him into a Not-So-Jealous One

jealous boyfriend

Having a hard time dealing with a jealous boyfriend? If you’re sure your boyfriend is a keeper, here are ten steps to change him from jealous to not-so-jealous.

Dealing with a jealous boyfriend is rather difficult.

And it’s actually a lot easier to just walk away from the relationship in the first place, instead of constantly having to remind him how much you love him.

But on the other hand, you may be misinterpreting his insecurity as jealousy.

And it’s not easy to tell the difference.

If your boyfriend’s recently started to get quite jealous and possessive, or if you’re still in a new relationship and want to stop him from becoming jealous over time, use these ten tips to turn him from a jealous boyfriend to a reassured and happy one.

How to handle a jealous boyfriend

If you have a boyfriend who is jealous, and want to let him know that you really do love him and stop him from being so jealous, here’s all you need to know.

#10 Let him know that you love him

If you’re dating a happy guy who’s got a lot of friends and is quite popular, he may only be jealous because the relationship is still young or he’s still insecure about your feelings for him.

If you ever find your boyfriend questioning your interest in other guys or getting annoyed by your guy friends, perhaps you just need to let your jealous boyfriend know that you love him and no one else. And let him know that even if you do have a conversation with a male friend, it’s really not a setting for a romantic affair.

#9 Give him more attention around your guy friends

Men are competitive, be it in a game or in love. If you’re dating a guy who’s jealous of your friends, it may just be his insecurity showing. If you do love him, the next time he’s with you and your male friends, give him more attention that you give to any other guy and he will love you for it. And he’ll definitely feel good about the relationship and be reassured too.

#8 Include him in the conversation as your savior

Men have a protective instinct, and so does your guy. Your jealous boyfriend may feel threatened by other guys taking to you or flirting with you and may feel uncomfortable about it. [Read: How to build trust in a relationship]

The next time a friend of yours tries to flirt with you or sweet talks with you when you’re with your boyfriend, pull your boyfriend closer by his arm in jest, and dramatically tell him you need “help with an annoying guy” or “his assistance in proving a point to your friend who’s bugging you.” By involving him when someone’s flirting with you, it would definitely reassure your jealous boyfriend and stop him from wondering if there’s something sneaky going on behind his back.

#7 Involve him in your social activities

Jealous boyfriends can create epic fantasies and illusions in their mind when they’re feeling threatened. Every time you go out with your guy friends, he may end up brooding about what you’re doing, whom you’re flirting with or who’s pawing you. To make him feel better and stop spinning flirty tales in his head, try to involve him in your social activities for a few months. Let him realize by himself that you’re not on a flirting spree every time you go out with your own friends.

#6 Have him in your arms

Jealous boyfriends are easily unsettled with the simplest scenarios. And it all starts and ends with you talking to other guys. It’s really annoying, but if you do want to help him lose the jealous streak, have him in your arms at all times when you’re hanging out with a group of friends. By “showing him off” when you’re around male friends, you’re be able to help him trust you and feel better, especially if you’re constantly giving him your attention.

#5 Call him often when you’re out with friends

Jealous boyfriends suck! It’s a fact. But at times, by reassuring a jealous boyfriend that he has no reason to worry, you may be able to chisel out the perfect boyfriend in him. So as painful as it can seem, spend a couple of months trying these tips.

Your boyfriend may feel rather insecure and jealous when you go out with your friends and have a nice time. The only thing that goes on in his head would be, “does she have more fun with her friends than she does with me?” Perhaps it’s his insecurity or his fear of you having a better time with some other guy. But whatever the reason may be, one of the best ways to comfort his pacing jealous heart would be to call him often when you go out. Call him every now and then and have a quiet conversation without getting disturbed by your friends’ giggles (which can annoy him further). It’ll make him realize how much you love him. [Read: A clingy guy’s story]

#4 Indulge in a bit of PDA with him

Indulging in public display of affection with your jealous boyfriend may make him uncomfortable, but he would still love it. By getting cuddly in public, either by holding his hands or kissing his cheek, you’re willing to let the world know that both of you are a couple. And that can be a huge reassurance for a jealous guy who’s always looking for little reasons to wonder if you really do love him. [Read: Public display of affection laws]

#3 Tease him when you’re with your girlfriends

Help your antisocial jealous boyfriend understand that a bit of fun flirting and teasing is all acceptable and harmless between friends and the opposite sex. Get your girlfriends to tease him a bit and flirt with him. It’s a bold move, but with the confidence of a few trusted girlfriends of yours, it’s a good way to make him understand how harmless a bit of flirting can be. So the next time he sees your male friends pulling your leg, he may take it in a lighten vein.

#2 Reassure him instead of getting angry

Let’s face it, jealous guys are not the best boyfriends to have. But in almost all cases, a guy doesn’t become jealous unless he feels insecure or assumes you’re not really in love with him. Jealousy is actually a plea for help, and not a way to show off his domination over you. So if you ever find him sulking or sitting in corner and huffing and puffing, don’t get upset or angry with him. Instead, hold his face in your palms and remind him about how much you love him. You’ll see a big toothy grin popping out of his face in no time!

#1 Don’t make these moves obvious

Being a jealous boyfriend is not something to be proud of. Your boyfriend knows that. But sometimes, it’s inevitable. So when you’re trying these moves, don’t let him know about it. It would insult him and make him feel worse. And he may close up further in his shell and would stop believing you, no matter what you do.

[Read: 10 signs your boyfriend is annoying]

Should you date a jealous boyfriend?

Now all said and done, these ten steps on helping your jealous boyfriend will definitely work like a charm. But if it doesn’t, there’s probably a bigger reason for his jealous ways and there’s nothing more you can do to help him have a normal life.

So if these steps don’t work, we advise you to dump his sorry ass and walk out before he tries to keep you locked in a cage to make himself feel better. And if your guy ever uses physical force or stops you from being with your friends or meeting them, walk right out of his life and don’t even bother answering his calls.

[Read: How to end a relationship]

Use these ten effective ways on changing your jealous boyfriend into a happy lover and see the difference. It definitely won’t fail, well, unless you’re dating a guy who’s messed in the head!

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23 thoughts on “Jealous Boyfriend: A Guide to Turn Him into a Not-So-Jealous One”

  1. hann ah says:

    very helpful to me .

  2. Mandi says:

    I’m sorry but … no.
    His jealousy is HIS problem. Why should you need a checklist to reassure him? Jealousy leads to YOU being afraid of him getting jealous, and often, controlling behaviour.

    This is ABUSE.
    Break up with him.

  3. Jake says:

    @ Mandi: you’re a moron. you have no idea how cruel such a person is. jealousy is NOT abuse. jealousy is a result of emotional abuse from women like YOU. guys DO have feelings, and callous girls who trample our hearts saying “oh its his problem if he doesn’t like it” are the cause for insecurity and thus jealousy. if you don’t care about his feelings enough to help him through this, you don’t really love him.

    about this: I’m a very jealous boyfriend… I know I can trust my girl, but I don’t trust guys… And due to my past(with women like Mandi who just didn’t care how I felt) I’m constantly insecure. I would LOVE for her to use these, cause I’d LOVE to be able to alleviate my baby’s discomfort at my jealousy…

    btw: I love #2 best.

  4. Jess says:

    I have a very insecure boyfriend. And he always believes I’ll leave him for another guy because he thinks he isn’t good enough for me! But I used these tips, and omigosh, they’re so awesome!!!

    They worked just like a charm! I’ve been using these tips for the last few weeks, and my boyfriend is a whole new man. He’s confident around me, trusts me more and he’s so much more happier. Thank you so much, Lovepanky, you saved my relationship!!! 🙂

  5. jerri says:

    My boyfriend of almost two years now, started off being the attractive, funny, strong, confident, sexy thug of my dreams, to the most jealous, insecure, immature, psychotic manchild ive ever met in my life within the first three months of us being together. He is jealous of absolutely everyone and everything regardless of gender, age, race, etc., to the point where i dread going anywhere with him because tjere might be “hot dudes” lurking around everywhere and he will torment me relentlessly about whether the random man pumping gas at the gas station is “hotter than him” and will accuse me of “staring” at him and he “caught me” or if i think the guy riding the bike with ine leg and a peg leg is hotter than him, lol,and say that i stare at any dude in a car next to us at a stop light, and. Wont let me go to the store by myself, or make eye contact or speak to his friends, in fact he wont even let his friends come in our house if im there because “i am too friendly and guys will mistake that and think im a whore and open for business”, etc etc…omg, REALLY??! And yeah, wow, im reading this as i go and i sound like a complete fricken idiot or maybe i really am just the biggest whore on the planet who should be thanking my lucky stars that i actually even have a manthatcould love me even tho im such a whore cuz god knows no other man could….NOT! :”( Every day has bbecome completely miserable for both of us, and every night i go to bed and promise myself that i WILL not live onemore day like this and that i have to end this relationship…but then the next day he somehow makes me forget what a nightmare he was the day before and does so manynice things for me and helpsme with the house without me asking, goes to the grocer for me, lol, buys me something i need or been really wanting,we have AMAZING sex, and then BAM!! somethin happens to set him off like a jehovah witness dude knocks on the door lol or the toilet breaks and the plumber has to come lol or there is guy withhis shirt off on tv or a songcomes on the radio that has my ex’s name in the lyrics, lol, or you name it, it will make him come unsprung! I have never cheated on him and i love him dearly and ive said and done absolutely everything under the sun that i can possibly think of to reassure him and convince him that i live him and only him and that i am not looking fir anyone else. Help i Give Up!!! I wish there was someone somewhere that could tell me why he is like this and what if anything i cando to help him understand and make him stop so we can just live happily and peacefully and respect and enjoy each other again. .lifeisjust too damn short.

  6. Hayley says:

    @jerri :
    My partner was EXACTLY the same as yours, reading that made me actually feel like I was reading my own personal diary.
    I know what you are going through and how it feels, it’s literally so frustrating because you know how happy he makes you but how angry he also makes you, and you convince yourself that you will make it change but then he does something that reminds you of all the fun times you had. My partner used to do the same thing, I began to just walk with my head down and keep my head lowered in the car in case someone he thought I would find attractive walked past, just to avoid the fight with him. My partner hated when I went to see my friends because he used to see it as me trying to get away from him and he didn’t understand why I wanted to see my friends instead of him, the fact was its just healthy to see friends and family. If my phone went off he would ask who it was, he made me cut off my guy friends , and to top it off we used to work together in a nightclub, me being a bartender and he was security, so if he saw me accidentally smile at a customer which heaven forbid was a male, I was feel sick because I knew the fight that was brewing.
    This lasted for a while and the worst part is at the beginning everything was amazing and then it slowly began to change and I used to say I was stronger then that and I wouldn’t let myself change and become that girl who was dominated by their partner but I did. I lost everything really including myself.
    I somehow had enough and eventually walked out, and my god it was hard, because he had become my world , my best friend, partner and only friend it was a serious struggle to try and get back on my feet because he was all I knew really and I felt alone and of course devastated that I had to leave him, not because I fell out of love but because I couldn’t let it happen to me anymore. But over time I began to heal and get better and my life got back on tracks and everything has improved. I look back and realise that leaving was the best choice as much as it hurt like hell at the time. I don’t mean this in a harsh way but your partner will never leave, these steps are helpful yes to those men who have a bit of jealousy which is natural but for partners like ours it won’t even make a dent and if it does it will be temporary.
    The best advice I ca give you jenni Is to try and walk away because he will only get worse and that’s a promise. Life is to short to live like someone’s puppet.

    If you need to chat or anything I can help you out. I hope my message helps you a bit 🙂

  7. Christina says:

    I hear u guys and I do understand @hayley but do u really know how hard it is to leave the person u still love?my boyfriend is a very caring loving and understanding. Person but sometimes I just don’t get him…we always fight about me going out or drinking,he doesn’t have a problem when I drink with him but u know sometimes they are those times that you feel that u wanna go out with girls jst having that girls out…but to him it seems. Like I don’t have to go out with girls.he is so so jealous to such and extend that when he left me in the house he will make sure that he leaves his key @ home so that I must not go outand he will tell me. That he want to find me @ home because he did not take his key.I love this guy a lot but I feel that now is time for us to just move on with our lifes and forget about each other…any advice guys on that this thing is really stressing me

  8. Not Jealous - Realistic! says:

    You chicks are so full of it, the only reason any man talks to a woman is to try & get into her pants & all men know this – so do you women but deny it so you can manipulate these idiots into doing you favours or for an ego boost.

    This is all a ploy to gain the upper hand in a relationship by showing your boyfriend that others are interested. Prove there’s nothing but frendship going on by making a move on each of your guy ‘friends’ – they’ll nail you in a heartbeat, furthermore you chicks would not tolerate your boyfriend having female friends or flirting with other women!

  9. For everyone out there with jealous bf. says:

    Honest eyes works best… Just look in his eyes make sure he looks yours too.
    Tell him all qaulities of him…why you love him..All means All…let it be 10pages etc. Tell him how lucky you are to have him.. tell him that that there is no other guy like him..tell him no1 can love u like him…How you want to spend your life with him. and pls do not mention about his jealousy because if he loves you he will understand his mistakes.
    P.S works best with few doses of hugs and kisses.
    If needed keep repeating.

    If he is the one for you..there is no harm in making ‘few’ compromises till he gets secure…
    if he does not improve leave him and yes dont forget to mention why.

  10. very true says:

    @not jealous – realistic
    I agree on the part were the girlfriend would not be cool with a dude flirting with another girl no matter how small yet guys are supposed to let women do it? boy women bitch about men being sexist until it benefits them

  11. Dragonflycurl says:

    I like to say something about having a jealous boyfriend I’m with one but I give him my trust gave him a reason to trust me I’m loyal to him and he knows I am but I also don’t to any guys my choice i do have friends that are girls and he don’t care if I hang out with them. But I do reamber he said if any guy tryed to hit on me he would beat them up. I told him not to worry cause if some guy did id tell him. My relationship with my boyfriend is like perfect we never fight or argue we only smile and laugh and have fun. I trust him he trust me. All his exs cheated on him. So I can understand so I should him love and care and he loves me for it makes him happy. Thought I share that.

  12. Werner says:

    #0: Worship his man-parts like his crotch is the center of your universe. Who knows, maybe it’ll be fun!

  13. TT says:

    Okay… so I’ve been dating this guy now for almost 3 months… I actually dated him about a year and a half ago, at which time, he had another girlfriend… I did not know that part at first, but he basically burned me twice… don’t ask me why I gave him another shot… but it just felt right… and everything is going very well… except for his Jealous (or insecure) streak. I had a long distance relationship with a guy, whom I am still friends with… and most issues stem from this relationship with this guy and the fact that this guy likes stuff that we post, etc. (yes he likes stuff posted from my boyfriend also). My long distance relationship is with someone whom I want to remain friends with (we are both very avid sports fans, and we have become known around our team because of what we wear to the games)… and I get to at least 4 games per year… and the people I have met and gotten to know are a very big part of my life… We realized that due to the distance, we would never make it, but we opted to stay friends because of our connection to the team… Again, we are states apart, and as much as I have tried explaining that to my boyfriend, he wants to tell me how he’s put distance between himself and his “girl friends”, those that he hung out with so he could have sex… I told him that is not the same AT ALL… he’s also made comments about my traveling with work (only do day trips), other posts that I may like on Facebook, etc… and I’m a single mom, and as I mentioned to him when I let him back in… I have a problem trying to “balance” my life between my daughter and any relationship… I was doing very well since he’s been back in my life, but now I’m at the point where this is getting a bit old… tried talking last night and he got mad because I waited until 10 pm… sorry, I’m not going to discuss this while my child is still awake… I really am in love with my man, but insecurity hasn’t worked for me in the past, nor will it in the future… any suggestions???? Besides going dark on facebook, and giving up a 3 year friendship for a 3 month relationship that may not be long lived??? I am who I am, and I cannot tolerate insecurity or jealousy!

  14. Mcrue says:

    I’m reading all these posts because I want to make sure I’m not exhibiting any of these behaviors. I am starting to date a girl (about two months in). There is no way a relationship can survive with the ridiculous behaviors exhibited by your boyfriends. Wow, some of them are ridiculous. How can you tolerate that?

    I agree with another guy’s post though that women should not expect their bf to be completely understanding of their desire to have male friends. Should we be ok with it because we trust our gf around them? I guess, but understand that 99% of those dudes are willing at the drop of a hat to screw her. I deal with it all the time with my girl, but I act unaffected by it. She tells me all the time about John Doe… “told me he really likes me and wants to date me”. They’ve been friends since elementary school too lol. He doesn’t know about me because we just started dating, but still, get a clue dude.

    So, when we go out with you and your male friends we will act with class and respect, but just know that we sort of despise these vermin and are aware of their ulterior motives. I agree with another poster who says just see how quickly those clowns will roll with your gf if she put a move on them. They wouldn’t hesitate to reciprocate. That’s not a true friendship, but girls don’t understand this.

    Anyway, getting back to the jealous streaks some of us guys have. I think you have to be really naive to think that a relationship will survive that kind of ridiculous behavior. I.e. getting mad at your girl if she is looking in the direction of another guy, or if another good looking guy merely approaches or is in the area. You don’t even try to rehabilitate guys like that. You toss them to the curb. Guys with a mild jealous streak are fixable but not the guys that Hayley and jerri described. Those are immature thugs with no perception of reality. Do they think they can treat a girl like a prisoner like that and expect the relationship to survive? Really!?

    Once you bag a girl it is your time to shine. Show confidence, work out, dress nice, show that other women desire you, have a good job, and treat your gf right, and she won’t cheat on you. I am in that boat now. I work out every day to the point where I have a six pack and great musculature, and my gf loves it. I stopped texting her as much as we did in the beginning, giving her space. I did call her out at one point because she wasn’t texting as much, but then realized it is all part of the process and I dropped it. Once the chase is over the texting dies down. That’s natural. Anyway, the #1 trait to exhibit in a successful relationship on the male side is confidence. Women totally respect and love that. Trust is the other. These jealous guys (especially Halley and Jerry’s) exhibit ZERO of both of these qualities and should be kicked to the curb. Pathetic phags.

  15. JJJJ says:

    I have a completely jealous boyfriend but i am way to scared to leave him. He keeps thinking I like other guys. What do i do to stop him from that?!?!?!?!

  16. rolo tony says:

    i’m sorry but i’m a human being first, if he cant take me being around other men in general whether it’s in the workplace or school he can fuck off, i’m not going to sit there and constantly call him so he can feel safe and secure, if he has those issues he needs to deal with them professionally, i’m not going to sit there and baby him, give him constant attention, and constantly reassure him he’s my only boyfriend, he’s not a fucking dog, he can handle his own. im not about that life.

  17. John J says:

    So, (short version) partner/mother of our 3 year old child has been having an affair with a colleague. This isn’t a feeling, we both know it and have talked it through, it’s a long ass story with multiple bereavements in her family (and a few in mine), a whirlwind pregnancy, house renovation and much more, all in the last few years. I’ve always been her rock up until this year when it started being a bit much for me and it’s been a tough year, so my reaction when I found out was ‘it’s not ok, but we will work through this, become stronger, I’ve identified where I went wrong as well, start counselling, etc etc,’ which we did, and it was like we had just met again for a short while.
    BUT, I then found out she was still talking to this guy about more than just work. So yeah, now I’m feeling kinda insecure and jealous. I know she still loves me, I’ve given her the opportunity to walk a few times and she hasn’t, and she keeps rejecting this other guy physically and materially (like going out together etc) but they talk and flirt on text etc, and presumably at work, ALL the time.
    Is this abuse on my part? No, of course not. I’m sure (and hope) she’ll make a decision shortly. We love each other, that’s a given, but I didn’t give her the warmth she needed for a long time, for many reasons, and when this other guy offered it to her, she took it-I get that, and I’m willing to accept it happened, but whilst it’s still going on, I WILL be jealous. Not to the point of hassling her, but jealous nonetheless.
    Just my 2 cents.

  18. Leah7 says:

    My boyfriend of 4 months is super jealous too. I love him and he has so many great qualities but I’m getting tired of this. Plus, his reasons are ridiculous! Once he said a male coworker squinted his eyes at me (I did not see this and have never spoken to that guy) and he said that it means the guy wants me and he yelled at me for wanting that guy too. I said, ‘I didnt say one word to that guy or even make eye contact’ but he yelled at me that he hates liars.
    Once we were in line somewhere and later he asked me, “did the guy behind you touch your butt?” I said ‘no, why, no one touched me’. He said ‘I looked and saw his hand near your butt. I think he touched it.’ I said’ I never felt someone touch my butt and if I did I would turn around and confront the guy, I’m not gonna let some random guy touch my behind!’ He said hmmm like he didnt believe me. He brought it up again the next day and asked me again.
    I fell asleep after work (I work nights) and we talk every night before bed but I was on my period and exhausted and fell asleep and missed his call. I woke up 2 hrs later and called him and he bawled me out for “lying” to him, saying I was NOT sleeping and how he hates liars!!. I was so furious I almost ended it right then and there.
    If my back hurts he gets mad and asks, why does it hurt? What were you “doing”? Were you with another guy?
    If we are outside and I”m looking around he accuses me of “waiting for another guy” or, what are you looking for Someone??”
    More then once he has accused me of having a hickey and moves my hair to check my neck and says, ‘oh, that was just a lock of your hair… I thought it was a hickey’.
    I can’t look at another guy or he thinks I’m checking them out even if they are WAY out of my age range.
    He still says he trusts me but says he gets crazy scenarios in his head and can’t help it though he knows he is irrational.
    He tells me every single day, “don’t EVER cheat on me” or “remember, dont let anyone touch you”. I constantly reassure him but I’m starting to feel insulted.
    All that being said, I’m the probably the biggest goody goody you’ll ever meet and he knows this but still acts this way. I’m not sure if this is gonna get better or worse (it actually seems to be getting a bit better) but if it doesn’t, I can’t live that way. A little jealously if fine but when you are making up scenarios in your head and then scolding me when I did NOTHING wrong, that is a problem. We’ll see were this goes. :/

  19. Kierra says:

    Wait a second. Did I just read “Jealous Boyfriend

  20. adam says:

    I am a guy and i have problems with insecurity. But
    The reason is i have had a lot of women cheat on me
    I am the perfect bf. Iv just been hurt a lot i want my gf
    To try these with me i want her to help change me.
    So we can be happy i hate my insecureity i just want her
    To help me through it.

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