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Jealous Boyfriend: A Guide to Turn Him into a Not-So-Jealous One

It can be frustrating to deal with insecurities and flaws of a jealous boyfriend. While it can be cute, most times, it just comes off as plain annoying.

jealous boyfriend

Dealing with a jealous boyfriend is somewhat tricky. It’s a lot easier just to walk away from the relationship in the first place instead of constantly having to remind him how much you love him. As cute as a jealous boyfriend sounds, it’s really quite the opposite.

Having a jealous boyfriend isn’t as cute as the movies portray. When your partner is jealous all the time, he can also be controlling, insecure, and doubtful of your every move.

Why is having a jealous boyfriend a bad thing?

Having a jealous boyfriend isn’t something you should romanticize. When he’s jealous, then this also means he doesn’t trust you. He always thinks that you don’t love him anymore or that you’re going to cheat on him, even if there’s no evidence to prove otherwise.

He could also potentially control you and basically, no matter how many times you do your best to reassure him, he’ll never believe it. There’s always this doubt in his mind which enables his behavior of jealously and possessiveness. [Read: How to deal with jealousy in a relationship & learn to overcome it]

How to handle a jealous boyfriend

If you have a boyfriend who is jealous, and want to let him know that you really do love him and stop him from being so jealous, here’s all you need to know.

1. Don’t make these moves obvious

Being a jealous boyfriend is not something to be proud of; your boyfriend knows that. But sometimes, it’s inevitable. So when you’re trying these moves, don’t let him know about it. One of the factors of jealousy is insecurity, and you don’t want to insult your boyfriend by letting him two of these moves.

Instead, you want to be subtle and undercover in doing these. I mean, you don’t want to give him another reason not to trust you, do you? [Read: 10 signs your boyfriend is annoying]

2. Reassure him instead of getting angry

I know, I know. It seems like you’re saying the same set of words over and over again. However, rather than getting insulted by his jealousy, reassure him that your relationship is fine and that you love him. Sometimes, all a jealous boyfriend needs is an abundance of reassurance from you.

Jealousy is a plea for help and not a way to show off his domination over you. So if you ever find him sulking or sitting in a corner and huffing and puffing, don’t get upset or angry with him.

Make him feel the love he’s craving from you, and don’t give him anything less. [Read: Jealous type: How to reassure and win over a super jealous lover]

3. Tease him when you’re with your girlfriends

Help your antisocial jealous boyfriend understand that a bit of fun flirting and teasing is all acceptable and harmless between friends and the opposite sex. Get your girlfriends to tease him a bit and flirt with him. This will help him get out of his shell and socialize with you and your friends.

Hopefully, this doesn’t result in him getting angry with you but instead, realize there’s no harm with teasing and flirting sometimes. It’s a bold move, but with the confidence of a few trusted girlfriends of yours, it’s a good way to make him understand how harmless a bit of flirting can be.

4. Indulge in a bit of PDA with him

Indulging in a public display of affection with your jealous boyfriend may make him uncomfortable, but he would still love it. By getting cuddly in public, either by holding his hands or kissing his cheek, you’re willing to let the world know that both of you are a couple.

This is precisely the kind of reassurance he needs to believe that you love him to the point that you’re willing to show him off to everyone else. [Read: Public display of affection laws]

5. Call him often when you’re out with friends

Jealous boyfriends suck! It’s a fact. But at times, by reassuring a jealous boyfriend that he has no reason to worry, you may be able to chisel out the perfect boyfriend in him. If there’s any common ground with all these tips, then it’s giving your jealous boyfriend the reassure he needs to trust and rely on you.

Your boyfriend may feel rather insecure and jealous when you go out with your friends and have a nice time. The only thing that goes on in his head would be, “does she have more fun with her friends than she does with me?” Again, he’s very insecure and doubtful about himself.

So calling him, as simple as it might seem to you, is actually a massive deal for him. Call him every now and then and have a quiet conversation without getting disturbed by your friends’ giggles *which can annoy him further*. It’ll make him realize how much you love him. [Read: A clingy guy’s story]

6. Have him in your arms

Jealous boyfriends are easily unsettled with the simplest scenarios. And it all starts and ends with you talking to other guys. It doesn’t matter if you’re talking with other guys without the intention of flirting; they already see this as a threat.

If you’re someone who has a lot of guy friends, this is basically the worst nightmare of a jealous boyfriend. It’s really annoying, but if you do want to help him lose the jealous streak, have him in your arms at all times when you’re hanging out with a group of friends.

Remember what we said about showing them off? Apply this tip even with your group of friends.

7. Involve him in your social activities

Jealous boyfriends can create epic fantasies and illusions in their minds when they’re feeling threatened. Every time you go out with your guy friends, he may end up brooding about what you’re doing, whom you’re flirting with or who’s pawing you.

When dealing with a jealous boyfriend, the last thing you should do is make him feel left out with social activities or when you’re going out.

Don’t forget to include him the same way you probably want your boyfriend to include you in his social activities! Let him realize by himself that you’re not on a flirting spree every time you go out with your own friends.

8. Include him in the conversation as your savior

Men have a protective instinct, and so does your guy. Your jealous boyfriend may feel threatened by other guys taking to you or flirting with you and may feel uncomfortable about it.

The next time a friend of yours tries to flirt with you or sweet talks with you when you’re with your boyfriend, pull your boyfriend closer by his arm in jest, and dramatically tell him you need “help with an annoying guy” or “his assistance in proving a point to your friend who’s bugging you.”

This is guaranteed to make your jealous boyfriend feel better because you’re including him in the conversation, and it also reassures him that he’s the only guy you have eyes for. [Read: How to build trust in a relationship]

9. Give him more attention around your guy friends

Men are competitive, be it in a game or love. If you’re dating a guy who’s jealous of your friends, it may just be his insecurity showing. Jealousy and insecurity are tied to one another, so the next time he shows his jealousy, try to remember that he’s also coming from a place of insecurity.

Maybe he’s insecure you’re out of his league, or maybe he’s just afraid of losing you. Men are competitive, be it in a game or love. If you’re dating a guy who’s jealous of your friends, it may just be his insecurity showing.

10. Let him know that you love him

If you’re dating a happy guy who’s got many friends and is quite popular, he may only be jealous because the relationship is still young, or he’s still insecure about your feelings for him. Even if it seems repetitive or even cheesy, show your guy that you adore him with your entire being!

Even with his insecurities and jealousy, remind him that you love him and that he’s the best. And let him know that even if you do have a conversation with a male friend, it’s really not a setting for a romantic affair.

11. Talk about his fears and anxieties

If you really want to encourage your jealous boyfriend to be a secure one, then you need to be empathetic to what he’s feeling. This isn’t the easiest thing to do, especially when his jealous can come off as annoying and frustrating most times.

However, sitting down and talking about his fears can encourage him to reflect on his actions and become a better boyfriend for you. It can also feel lightening on his part to talk about his jealous. This might seem to contradict the first point, which is to never let him know your actions.

If you want to remain subtle, you can just tell him you want to be there for him, no matter what insecurities and fears he’s battling with. [Read: Insecurity in a relationship: How to feel more secure & love better]

12. Don’t get defensive

This is one of the general rules in dealing with a jealous partner. If you’re defensive, then you’re only proving his worst fears and insecurities further. Don’t try to get defensive or act insulted when he says he’s jealous about this guy you’re talking to.

Instead, be open and explain everything on your end. Tell him he’s just a friend and that he has nothing to worry about. Reassurance really is the key. [Read: Why do people get defensive? 14 reasons & ways to handle them]

13. Don’t be distant

This is another one of the fears that a jealous partner is likely to have with you. If you’re anywhere near distant, cold, emotionally unattached, or indifferent, then his insecurities automatically kick in within the relationship.

You need to understand where he’s coming from and being distant isn’t the key. [Read: How to recognize an emotionally distant partner & deal with them]

14. Assess your actions

This isn’t obvious, but maybe you’re doing something to trigger their jealousy and insecurities. Maybe you keep going out of your way to text guys or going to parties to flirt with guys, which will really make your boyfriend insecure.

Jealousy can also be a two-way street and if you want your partner to become better, you should also do your part in this.

15. Allow him to address his issues

There are significant reasons why he can be a jealous partner in the relationship. Maybe he was cheated on, maybe his parents’ marriage didn’t work because of cheating, or maybe he just has certain insecurity issues he hasn’t healed from.

Allow him to face his issues so that he can become a better partner for you. Don’t attack his insecurities, but make him feel that you’re in this with him in facing his issues. Reassure him you won’t leave his side in facing his issues.

[Read: Emotional baggage: How to help someone put it down & find freedom]

Should you date a jealous boyfriend?

Now all said and done, these ten steps on helping your jealous boyfriend will definitely work like a charm. But if it doesn’t, there’s probably a bigger reason for his jealous ways and there’s nothing more you can do to help him have a normal life. If you can avoid it, then we wouldn’t recommend dating a jealous boyfriend.

They can be manipulative, insecure, and controlling without realizing it. So if these steps don’t work, we advise you to dump his sorry ass and walk out before he tries to keep you locked in a cage to make himself feel better.

[Read: How to end a relationship]

So, how do you deal with a jealous boyfriend?

Remember that a jealous boyfriend needs an abundance of reassurance and love from you. Whether you show him off to the world, give him encouraging words, or show simple acts of PDA, just show him with the love and affection he’s looking for from you.

Use these fifteen effective ways to change your jealous boyfriend into a more secure one, and you’ll see a massive difference. If not, then maybe it’s time to assess whether it’s worth keeping your jealous boyfriend around.

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