The signs of insecurity point to the fact you never feel secure. Insecure people never feel safe, accepted, or okay. It takes an emotional toll.
Not every insecure person shows signs of insecurity the same. What is insecurity? It is exactly what it means. There is never a time when you feel safe, real, or secure in your own skin. The biggest problem with being insecure is that it doesn’t always come across as what it is. It is often misunderstood by the people around someone insecure.
Why? Because no one wants to admit they live in fear of just about everything, that sounds crazy. So, most insecure people try to mask their anxiety, and cover it up with habitual behaviors that don’t work. They do things that get them the exact opposite of what they crave—love and acceptance.
20 signs of insecurity to keep an eye on
If you wonder if you are with someone insecure, or if you ask whether you are insecure yourself, these are the signs of insecurity that can’t be hidden.
#1 They worry about everything. Did I say everything? I mean everything. There isn’t a single thing that someone who is insecure doesn’t worry about. They worry about their next step because they aren’t sure they will land on safe ground. They continually feel like the next step is quicksand. [Read: 20 ways to focus on the positives of life]
#2 They never feel safe or settled. An insecure individual never feels like they are safe or settled in their own life or in their own skin. Usually experiences in their past perpetuate the insecurity. They live in a state of temporary and they never get comfortable because it could all be gone. [Read: Why am I so insecure? 20 reasons why you care more than others]
#3 They ask the same questions over and over, as if they can’t accept the answer. Like a child, they ask you the same questions over and over and over. How you answer matters not, they aren’t going to accept your answer unless it is negative. They don’t ever believe in anyone because they expect the worst.
#4 They push you away and then pull you back in. Someone who is insecure wants to pull you in. Then when you get too close, they freak out and push you away. Their own fear of rejection drives them to constantly push the very people they want close, far away. Then once you walk away, they beg you back.
#5 They constantly ask if you are mad or what they have done. Insecurity leads to them constantly asking if they have done something to make you mad. Worried that they will lose you if they don’t do what you want and how you want it, their worried nature has no bottom.
#6 They consistently apologize even if there’s no apology necessary. Never sure of themselves or how they come across, someone insecure always feels as if they have done something wrong and aren’t above apologizing even if they haven’t done anything at all.
#7 They have a tendency to sabotage their relationships. People who are insecure never feel worthy enough to be in a relationship, which causes a continual anxiety and fear that they are going to be found out and left behind.
That leads to overreactions to things and pushing people away when they fear that things are going badly to protect themselves. That can get them the very result they attempt to avoid in a relationship. [Read: 10 things you do that sabotage your love life]
#8 They feel like everyone hates them. One of the biggest signs of insecurity is that insecure people constantly feel like everyone dislikes them. They can’t really tell you why or put their finger on what the issue is. They just feel like everyone hates them.
#9 They worry if someone is talking badly about them all the time. Insecure people worry constantly that people talk about them behind their back. Not wanting to be scorned by people in their life, their insecurity leads them to continually search for confirmation that people don’t like them and are bad mouthing them. Usually, when there is no basis.
#10 They leave every situation wondering if they offended anyone or made someone angry. People who are insecure are anxiety riddled almost all of the time. They worry if they said something off color and replay the events of every moment of their social interactions with people.
#11 They don’t feel comfortable in a group, so they usually have one person they cling to. Insecure people appear like social butterflies because they usually hide the insecurity and turn on the charm.
But, they typically like to have one person to cling to that makes them more secure and real. Usually only being able to have one close friend at a time, their friendship is their safety zone when out with others.
#12 They strike hard when hurt. Insecure people are constantly wounded. Their feelings are regularly hurt, which leads them to strike out against someone who hurts them. For the recipient, it seems like a total overreaction.
But, due to the amount of turmoil and fear going on in the insecure person’s mind, it is like white noise that never stops. Just one more thing instantly sets them over the edge.
#13 They try to impress you, but feel like an imposter inside, which makes them a nervous wreck. Most insecure people don’t come across as insecure until you get to know them. Very good at masking the person so fearful inside, they develop a hard outer shell, which makes them feel like an imposter all the time. [Read: 20 signs and ways to stop feeling like a fake]
#14 Being alone is their worst fear. For insecure people, being on their own is about the worst thing they can imagine. They need other people to make themselves feel whole and safe. If they lose someone close to them, it is overwhelming, especially someone they love.
#15 They crave approval, but won’t accept it anyway. Someone insecure craves acceptance and approval. Even when given to them, they don’t believe or accept it. Even if the very thing they desire stares them in the face, they refuse to see it.
#16 They define themselves by what other people think of them. Insecure people let other people tell them who and what they are because they aren’t very sure for themselves what they are made of. Constantly looking to please others and gain their acceptance, if someone doesn’t like them, it takes a huge hit to their self-esteem. [Read: People pleasers and 20 common signs they don’t recognize]
#17 When you are with them you almost feel the churning of anxiety. Insecure people are just hard to be around. You can’t put your finger on it, but they rarely sit, they rarely stop talking, or they just have a jittery anxiety that follows them wherever they go.
#18 They have a tendency to be a perfectionist. Insecure people don’t believe in themselves, so they go back and redo everything about 100 times. It still won’t ever be right.
#19 They are jealous of your relationships with other people. Insecure people are very clingy. Once they make you their stone, they get very jealous when you reach out to someone else.
#20 They overreact to seemingly simple things. Because they constantly carry a backpack of angst, the smallest thing seems to set them off for no reason. Continual anxiety is a difficult thing to live with and can have someone hitting the brink out of nowhere and sometimes making a mountain out of a molehill.
Being insecure is not an easy thing to live with or to overcome. But, if you identify these signs of insecurity and see the good things you possess, then it is possible to find the security you crave and stop the continual churn.
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