We’ve all dated someone who texts you 24/7. They show up “randomly” where you are, and seem to be breathing down your neck at every turn. Some girls think this is super cute, at first, but then come to realize the irritation that shortly follows. Here is how to deal with your overly attached boyfriend.
Some guys think this is what girls like. Some even think they’re earning bonus points by always being RIGHT there. The truth is, it’s not a desirable trait in a guy at all. We’d prefer that you didn’t do this. Sincerely, all girls. [Read: What makes a man attractive? 15 traits guys should focus on instead]
This answer could go on for days and days. Realistically, there are TONS of different reasons a boyfriend could be so attached to you. Each guy is different and all of them have been raised to think girls like a certain type of behavior, even if it’s wrong.
The most common reasons boyfriends get so attached come down to their own insecurity, protectiveness, infatuation. It’s also the simple fact they think we WANT them to be all over us all the time. Some could even be scared you’re going to get sick of them, so they spend MORE time around you. [Read: 5 reasons why loving someone too much kills the love]
Of course, we want our significant others to be attached to us. We want them to want to spend time with us and tell us about their day. However, there is a point when it gets out of hand and becomes annoying.
If you really care about your boyfriend but feel like he’s suffocating you, there is something you can do to save your relationship. This is how to deal with an overly attached boyfriend without ruining your relationship at all.
#1 Figure out why he’s being that way. Decide why he’s overly attached. Is he insecure? Does he have jealousy or trust issues? Finding out the why helps you stop to it. [Read: Jealous boyfriend? How to make him not-so-jealous]
#2 Openly talk to him about it. Just bring it up during dinner. Ask him why he’s been so talkative and wanting to know where you are lately. See how he responds. He may not even know that he’s being an overly attached boyfriend.
#3 Suggest he go out with the guys. If you’re going on a night with the girls, tell him to take a night to hang with the boys! Openly tell him that you want him to go and have fun with his friends. He may get the hint that you don’t want him annoying you while you’re going out.
#4 Tell him you can’t be by your phone all the time. If he’s the type to text and text and call until you’re constantly talking to him, just tell him you can’t be on your phone so much. Explain that’s why you’re not responding. [Read: 10 tips for setting boundaries with difficult people]
#5 Tell him that YOU’LL text him later. Don’t let him tell you he’ll text you. Just explain to him you’ll be busy but will text him when you’ve got some time. This avoids him texting you whenever he wants. It also reserves a time for you to call him and have a real conversation.
#6 Dedicate date nights to only him. He may be feeling that he’s not getting enough attention from you and wants a little bit more. Dedicating every Wednesday or Friday night for just him satisfies his attention needs. You’ll also get less of him during the other days.
#7 Ignore him if needed. If he’s relentless and texting and calling all the time, just ignore him. Sometimes it takes a little while for him to get the hint that he’s actually annoying you. Ignore all his texts and calls until you want to actually interact with him. [Confession: I’m a boyfriend who’s too clingy and needy!]
#8 Get advice from friends/family. Some of the people in your support system may have experience dealing with an overly attached boyfriend. You’d benefit from asking them about it. They may give you good advice about how to go about dealing with it without ruining the whole relationship.
#9 Have scheduled “me” days. Everyone needs days without their significant other. We all need a little alone time! Have a talk with him and schedule days that you need to spend JUST with yourself. For example, tell him that this Sunday is going to be your “me” day. Tell him you’re going to spend it relaxing, watching movies, or having a spa day. [Read: How to give space to each other without drifting apart]
#10 Reassure him you’re not going anywhere. Sometimes people get overly attached when they’re feeling like you’re distancing yourself from them. If this is the case, make sure to always reassure him you care about him and don’t want to go anywhere anytime soon. This helps get him off your back a little.
#11 Don’t withhold information from him. One thing to make him really clingy is when you don’t tell him what you’re up to or where you’re going. Don’t withhold information from him. Just shooting him a quick text about what you’re up to throughout the day allows him to give you a little breathing room.
#12 Tell him what you DO want from him. Give him expectations. Maybe he thinks you like him always checking in and being in contact with you all the time. Tell him what you DO want him to do and that helps stop him from doing everything you don’t want him to do. [Read: 15 real relationship goals most couples have no idea about]
#13 Be stern but understanding. Don’t be weak when you tell him what you want. Be stern about your requests otherwise, he might not take you seriously. All you have to do is make sure he knows you’re serious about how you feel. However, don’t be mean and accusatory.
#14 Find a way to keep him busy. Maybe he’s just bored, and you’re the only person he has to talk to. To stop his overly attached boyfriend behavior, keep him busy. Introduce him to guys he would like to hang out with, get him to join a recreational sport or league. Keeping him busy keeps him out of your hair. [Read: 16 clear signs you should break up with your boyfriend]
#15 Let him know you can’t be with someone OVERLY attached, like he’s currently being. This may cause a small rift in your relationship to start with. But if you do this in a calm and nice way, he’s bound to understand where you’re coming from and correct his behavior if he really wants to be with you.
[Read: How to be independent even if you’re in a relationship]
Dealing with an overly attached boyfriend is difficult simply because you don’t want to hurt him, but you can’t stand him the way he is. The best way to go about this is to follow the above steps and see if things improve for your relationship.
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