Whether you have been together for as long as you can remember or just recently started a relationship, being intimate in the bedroom is something that all relationships have in common. Lovemaking is an act that strengthens the bond of relationships, and is also one of the most pleasurable acts that can be done with a loved one. Sometimes, the lack of this is even why relationships fail and surely, this is something that no couple wants.
A passionate and sexy lovemaking session can be achieved by any kind of relationship, new or old, same sex or opposite. That’s why there’s no excuse for you to be having bad sex or to have no sex at all!
How to make lovemaking passionate and sexy
Lovemaking doesn’t have to emulate what you see in the movies or even in porn. A lot of people seem to think that passionate sex entails ripped clothes, shattered furniture and a neighbor who will complain about all the noise. Real life isn’t like that, and here are ways to keep the passion alive without resorting to theatrics.
#1 The element of surprise. Sometimes, what becomes dragging is the fact that you and your partner know that you need *or you have* to make love when the two of you are already in bed, just waiting for who hints at whom. Do not let yourself get dragged into this. Instead, act upon your instincts and use the element of surprise.
Sneak up on her when she is showering. Jump on him the moment you get home. Hug her naked from behind while she is cooking. Crawl under his office table at home and give him a blow job. These are simple things, but they can definitely make lovemaking sexier, and get you out of the routine rut.
#2 Transform into someone else. Role playing works for some couples, while others do not prefer to engage in it. When you are bordering more on the no role-playing side, it would also be nice to put some sexy lingerie that will enhance the body parts that your lover likes the most about you.
Doing this allows you to show your partner that you’ve got some goodies hidden under your usual baggy shirt and jeans outfit. This will also keep them aroused and hopefully, enhance their stamina to keep up with the passion that will be unleashed for this act.
#3 Explore uncharted territories. Even though you have been caressing each other a lot and have been making love every day, you would be surprised that there are still parts of your lover that you have yet to discover. Take time to do this.
Get your partner naked and start touching every inch of their body, and if possible, you can also have the option to use your tongue as this will also ignite a different response. [Read: 13 untold sex secrets revealed!]
#4 Experiment with clothes on. Sometimes, in the rush of things, you barely remove your clothes anymore and just start doing it. Or, sometimes, you are in a public space where you cannot really get naked right then and there. There is a certain degree of excitement and thrill in keeping the clothes on than just getting naked all at once.
Just remove the bare minimum of clothing you need to remove before you engage in a lovemaking session. Seeing each other in disheveled clothes that have been pushed aside just so you can have sex can be a real turn on!
#5 Make some noise. Admit it, sometimes you try to stop yourself from letting it all out, because you might be afraid you would wake the neighbors or you may sound a little bit like a porn actor or you may not be that comfortable with your lover yet. But letting it all out loud also has an effect on your partner. It does not hurt to make a couple of sounds and moans to let your partner know how much you like what he or she is doing. [Read: 50 kinky ideas for a sexy relationship]
#6 Read and research about positions. It’s sad enough for the women to always be below and the men on top, or vice versa. Be open minded enough to try different sexual positions, as this is also going to make different angles in penetration, which in turn will affect the male and female arousal areas. There are also some males who prefer to do it standing up, with the woman against the wall, or the females preferring to be on top but facing their partner’s feet.
Different positions will also make the lovemaking not just passionate and sexier, but the excitement of figuring out what new position pleases your partner is also going to be a challenging and exciting learning process.
#7 Lights, camera, action! Make your own video. This isn’t everyone’s cup of tea, but for those who are open to it, you’re in for a treat! Knowing that you’ll be filmed will bring out that sexy porn star in you, complete with sexy lingerie, silk boxers and the moves that will blow your lover’s mind. It’s like having an invisible audience to your passion!
Just remember that the copy of the video or the file must be kept safe at all times. Also, it’s important that you trust your partner when you film the video to the point that, even if you break up, you won’t have to worry about your video leaking out *ahem, or you could just delete the video after the deed*.
#8 The oral of a lifetime. Admit it, oral sex is a lot of work. And not everyone is willing to make that extra effort to please their lovers. You do not have to do it every day, and even a once-a-week session may be enough to get that libido running. Experiment with different ways of pleasuring your partner with your mouth, and encourage your partner to do the same.
[Read: 9 hot blowjob secrets to drive your man wild]
[Read: 8 tips to give her oral sex like a pro]
#9 How many areas in your place have you done it? If you find yourself telling your visitors ‘don’t touch the kitchen counter, we were just having sex there,’ then you truly are enjoying lovemaking, and having enough passion to do it in all areas of your house shows that. If you find that you are only doing it in the bedroom, slowly take it somewhere else.
Start stripping in the living room and do it on the couch, or try doing it while having a shower. These small changes in space will definitely turn both of you on and before you know it, you will be going skinny dipping and doing it whilst in the swimming pool or rolling under the stars on the grass lawn behind your house. If that is not passionate sex, we don’t know what is!
#10 Arouse the five senses. Make sure that the room or place where you will make love in has all the elements for the five senses to be aroused. [Read: Here’s how you explore the 5 senses of sexy lovemaking]
Sight: Warm lights from candles or a yellow light bulb can instantly make a room ready for some passion.
Smell: Light a couple of aromatic candles or burn some aromatherapy oil.
Sound: Turn on some lovemaking music like smooth jazz for slow sex or some EDM beats for something a little more energetic. Just make sure it’s background music, and not the highlight of your session.
Taste: There is nothing better than tasting the salt off of your partner’s skin. But if that’s not your thing, edible lubricants or melted chocolate can be an option
Touch: Lovemaking is all about the art of touching each other, slowly and with the hunger for intimacy. But if you want some tactile stimulation, silks, feathers or even a leather whip might be your thing. [Read: 10 tips to help you open up about your kinky side]
#11 Be there. Be there now. Some people just make love for the sake of having an orgasm and getting the glory of finishing themselves off. Some make love just because they have been so used to doing it. Stop thinking and acting like this.
To be able to enjoy lovemaking, you should always keep your focus on what you are doing and not thinking about the work that needs to be finished later today or the tasks that needs to be done tomorrow. Being physically present is just half the battle, you also have to be mentally present.
#12 Be comfortable. There can be no lovemaking at all, if you are not in a level of comfort that you should be. Some women cannot lubricate properly if they are hurting or if the room is too cold or too warm. An erection might be a little difficult to achieve for the same reasons.
Prep yourselves mentally, emotionally and physically for what’s about to happen. Do your best to make the room comfortable and to put your partner at ease before you start trying anything. [Read: 13 ways to overcome sexual anxiety]
Lovemaking is something that will strengthen the bond between partners and should not be taken for granted. It is also an act that should not be rushed and each moment should be cherished.
[Read: 10 ways to make married sex feel like a one night stand]
Open your mind and explore the different ways you can insert more passion into your sex life. Step out of your comfort zone and have the intense, passionate sex that most people can only dream of!
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