How To Play Hard To Get with a Guy

I just wanted to say that I recently reconciled with a man I was dating and he was playing hard to get and I decided to break it off immediately. I consider myself ahead beyond those games and have no interest in people who feel they must appear different than they really are. Its immature on both sexes’ part.

I understand that women want to be pursued, but there is a line that is often crossed when playing hard to get. All to often I have been turned off or completely confused by women who played these games. If you have been spending time with a guy and he surprises you with flowers or a gift be appreciative and don’t act as if it’s no big deal by trying too sound “adult”. Believe it or not girls, guys like to know that someone is interested in them as well! I use to enjoy the challenge in my younger days (high school) but now I prefer a woman who is straightforward and avoids playing mind games.

The dating advice for men is exactly the same. It’s all garbage. Attractive bodies get more attention, thus they have the luxury of rejecting those who don’t meet they’re criteria. Thus, the whole “hard to get” routine is merely an illusion. It’s just hot people filtering out the ugly.

This is not a good article. The hard to get thing is a part of high school or early college, but it has no place once you are in your mid twenties. It inevitably backfires. A girl I really liked at work played hard to get for several months, to the point I became turned off and lost interest. I realized she wasnt genuine, and I found someone else quickly. Several months later she told other girs at work she wanted me back, but I had met someone better. To this day she is weird about the whole thing. Playing hard to get is a sign of immaturity and lack of self-esteem. A guy will actually respect you less, and in time will go for a more reliable girl who’s honest.

More games? I guess I got rejected , as usual, for not playing the “game” that they wish men to play, but I did kind of laugh when the next guy ( Mr. Alpha Male?) knocked out two of her teeth. I guess they get what they deserve.

a girl/woman who is playing hard to get , they feel that they really like that guy but they just don’t want to admit it. and they are scared because they dont want to look stupid. they want to act like they dont care and see if the guy they like really bothers to care . I’m a girl myself and sometimes if i try to be easy on a guy that i like, i get the most negative feedback ever. not at the point where i am so desparate, but a matter of showing respect. and if i try to play hard to get, they suddenly want to know more about me. i think its unfair but in order to get what we want, we have to be smart and be spontaneous . boys if you like a girl, just be honest and be a man, instead of giving us reasons why we have to play hard to get.

as a straight man, i am very tired of these women that play games today. this sends a message out that they are losers now. there are not that many good women left out there anymore. they are very trashy, especially the way they dress now. how are us good straight men out there suppose to meet a good woman now? years ago, women were much smarter than the ones out there today. then again, they were raised very well by their parents. half of them now, are lesbians to begin with. then you have the ones that do like men, but they are filthy whores. they want as many men as they can at one time, instead of just being with one man. either way, we men lose. so where in the world are the good women today? it looks like the good ones have been taken. it is very obvious, why men like us cannot meet good women today. we really cannot blame ourselves, for the garbage that they now have become.

Ummmmm if anything, guys are the pigs these days. All they want is sex and no relationship. THAT’S why women play games we have to! Men genetically all think the same, some worse then others; but their all discousting the way they think. I will never let a man use me I use them i play their game on them!

“When most men were asked, they admitted that they love it when girls play hard to get.” REALLY? Author asked MOST OF THE WORLDS MEN? This article is crap. Play hard to get & you’re on your own. Be down to earth, you get a shot at something working. This is for silly little girls in their 20′s. Nonsense.

good women are very hard to find these days. they do play very hard too get, and i just do not know why. there are many serious straight men like us that are still looking too meet a good woman that does not play games. but where are the good women today? many of the women out there now, need to grow up first. not to mention, many women now are very uneducated and are just a tease.

(Natasha,, March 3 2012) said “Otherwise, go find a goat or a dog. Ugh”

Either of those are better than the pig that you quite clearly are Natasha. I really hope you fall for the wrong man and he beats seven bells of crap out of you. That should adjust that entitled attitude of yours and so many other women these days. And, let’s face it, we do see it on the news. And guys like me, well, we laugh. You wanted to play a game… You damn well got it. Enjoy.

there seems to be a lot of very nasty women like Natasha. having problems with men? do you like women better than men? it would figure, women like you that seem to have a rotten attitude with men are usually lesbians anyway.

the way i look at it, women are just a big tease today. there are many of us serious men that do not like the bar scene, and we always seem to meet very nasty women with an attitude problem. i am in my late fifties, and i am not into these games that the women are playing today. for me, life is short. i would really like to meet a good woman for me this time around, since i was married at one time. she cheated on me after being with her for fifteen years, and i was very faithful to her. i loved her very much, and i would have thought that i was going to spend the rest of my life with her and have a family as well. now that i go out a lot again, it is like trying to win a game that cannot be won. like i have said, for me time is short and i would love very much to meet that special woman for me again. i hate being alone, as it is. i would just like to meet a woman that can love me for myself, and i would love her and treat her very well too.

All the people commenting that “women these days”… “men back then”… essentially, “the good old days” give me a chuckle. Y’all have no actual idea of what things were like in your little ‘golden era’. Games have been played by both sides for eras, and very much of the time folks are not aware they are playing games. It’s all part of the mating dance.

Of course there are exceptions. Of course there are a$$holes out there looking to throw you for a loop. It’s up to the rest of us to see through that bs.

All this article does is state some basic concepts about a basic game that shouldn’t be taken too seriously.

reading some of these comments here is very true that women are very DYSFUNCTIONAL today. when a lot of us straight men get to be a certain age, we are REALLY NOT into the BAR SCENE. i see how women act today, and they really need to GROW UP. i have been REJECTED by many women, and i am a good looking man that is VERY SERIOUS, THAT IS VERY MUCH HOPING TO MEET A good straight woman for me again to make me happy. i do like to dance a lot, so i will go to the CLUBS on the weekend. since i live down the shore, i will walk on the BOARDWALK a lot. i am not shy at all, so i will say HELLO to many women up there. most of them think that THEIR SHIT DON’T STINK, and will not say hello at all. many of them are so DAMN NASTY to talk too, and CERTAINLY have such an ATTITUDE PROBLEM, ESPECIALLY when i see other men like me that are trying to START a conversation with them. so as you can see, it is NOT AT ALL EASY meeting good women for us men NOWADAYS. i can’t blame myself, since i did not DO ANYTHING WRONG by trying to meet a good woman today for me. the problem we have today for us men, is that there are just TOO MANY LOW LIFE LOSER WOMEN OUT THERE TODAY.

I found that Natasha’s post resonated most with me. I also couldn’t help but notice that all the, shall we say, more hateful men were the ones writing with broken grammar and punctuation. They say women like smart men; perhaps this is the source of some of your frustration. A few points:

1. Judging by its layout and models, this website is INTENDED for women in their late teens to late twenties. Of course older women aren’t going to play hard to get, or will play it less.

2. Notice all the sweeping generalizations.

3. Faux pas, anyone? Again, in broken grammar and punctuation.

4. Why in the hell are 90% of the comments here being posted by men? Isn’t this an article for women?

It’s already been mentioned, but all animals have their mating rituals. I’ve been pursuing this girl in one of my college classes for a few months, now, and am closing in. Yeah, it sucks in a way, but I’m doing it because I know she is worth it. I could have had almost any other girl in the class months ago, because they all think I’m great, but I would have been settling for less. What comes easy isn’t necessarily what is best, in fact, it rarely is. Ever hear that anything in life worth having, has to be worked for? I really like this girl, she is the one I want, and I know how much competition I have. It will be worth it if I get her, and I know she’d appreciate that I was willing to work for it.
If I don’t get her, well… it was fun. I, for one, enjoyed the chase.

I’m a 15 year old girl and In my opinion, Playing “Hard to Get” is stupid and childish. Basically in my eyes i see it as a woman/man that sees a guy/girl that they like and are either lonely, desperate to find their “one true love”, or fell in love with that person’s looks. Therefore they are either so shy or so lonely and don’t want to look stupid if that person rejects them, so they end up wanting to play Hard To Get. The reason why I don’t play Hard To Get is because why are you going to try and push that person back and forth to play with that person’s mind? I think that people should be not only true to themselves, but true to everyone else. If that person is supposed to be your true love then they will most likely fall in love for the way you are naturally and not because of your body or how you act, but on how you think and how well your personality matches with their’s.

Oh and by the way @Natasha, I can tell you won’t be getting any man soon by the way you talk and think because I doubt any man wants to hear or be around an obnoxious, pushy, very controlling woman like you criticizing them and basically being told for them to kiss your f**king feet. Sorry but you’re not a f**king queen, and if you do have someone, then they’re pretty damn stupid.

It’s funny to see how so many guys are ganging on the commenter, Natasha, just because she told the truth.

Seriously, guys, look at how you’re behaving.

Guys like pretty girls. Girls like guys who have a good personality.

A guy doesn’t pursue every girl he sees, he only goes after girls he finds beautiful. And just like that, a girl plays hard to get with guys so she can find out who is actually interested in her and at the same time, also learn more about his personality before committing to him.

Why is that so wrong really? And about all the guys speaking so rudely, it does seem like you have some issues. Do you feel threatened that you’re not good enough to get a great girl? Or are you just angry with great girls because they broke your heart?

I have a bone to pick with Natasha as well lol
From what I’ve read, some of the guys here doesn’t seem to mind a little hard to get game. Their complaint is when a girl over does it.

Using your own metaphor, it’s fine to test drive that car, really. But not all girls know how to test drive a car well enough and can take the testing a little too far. Eg. Her idea of testing the cars strength is by driving head on into a concrete wall at full speed, or testing its endurance so much that she’d slam the accelerator at full strength when the car has run out of gas. Even the best Ferarri can’t past such test, much less a Honda.

A good car buyer knows that even for a test drive a car needs some good TLC and proper looking after, not someone lazy and can’t be arsed to do maintenance but expects it to run like a F1 car. If not, the car will simply refuse to run for you and wait for a better owner, especially a car in high demand like a Ferarri.

Also, “enjoy a good chase because they like winning over women”
Way to objectify your own gender by saying that women are merely a prize to be won over…

Also, “Ugh! Why do unworthy men always want everything served on a platter?!!”
Tell me again, which gender is the one who just sits around, flicking hair and acting pretty while expecting people to make a beeline for a chance to impress them? From what I see, women are the ones wanting everything served on a silver platter, and apparently from your comment women actually run tests if these platters are of the highest quality of silver.

If you’re confident you know how to play hard to get, then go ahead but know your limits. For most other women, I’m sure there are better ways to learn about your partner. I mean, guys never had to resort to playing hard to get to ‘test’ and get to know their partner, why should you?

Lastly I’d like to point out why some men may be hesitant to push on when women play hard to get: sexual harassment laws. Guys never know if they’ll be that creep that will be reported on if they do decide to pursue.

women that play hard to get, are such LOSERS to begin with. GROW UP LADIES.

Each individual is searching for that person to connect with. I refuse to compare both men and women of this generation to the past generation, as I am sure we both know what a difference there is. This article is for women to read up and confirm what they know if not what they are unsure of. There is a lot to learn from the past as much as there is more to gain now. I feel that it doesnt matter your age, the game is more or less the same – just different players at a totally different time! Anywhoo, it takes one Dushbag to influence/change the a womans perspective towards men!!! Just my opinion!

IT IS SO DIFFICULT, Women will be too friendly with men and lead them on. Iv’e had them flirt with me repeatedly. They will act really eager and give me a big smile. Later i find out that they are spoken for or f’ed up in the head. Don’t give me all of your one -sided BS. Women play far more games than men ever thought of playing.

Play hard to get = mind games.
Don’t do mind games.

As a guy, I have to admit that a lot of pretty women might be playing hard to get but it’s often very hard for me to tell if that’s what’s happening or that they really aren’t interested. When I was a teenager, I was bad at getting girls. As a younger adult, I vowed to change that but found that I was been too persistant. I would keep asking girls out who basically made excuses not to go out, or who didn’t answer my calls, etc. One actually accused me of sexual harassment, so I decided that wasn’t the right approach. I’ve found that the more I respect myself and think well of myself, the less interested I am in ladies who regularly fail to respond to my texts/calls and are perpetually unavailable to go out. I GREATLY admire and fall for women who make me feel special and wanted. I don’t like girls who obsess over me in the sense that they doubt my sincerity however. I ADORE women who are comfortable with themselves. I despise women who play games. A confident attractive women is one who is selective and is willing to let you know that in a respectful manner. I LOVE women who aren’t ashamed to say no. Playing hard to get usually will make a woman less attractive. BEING selective will not.

In it’s own right, I can respect the chase. It is the law of nature, “The dog will chase the cat.” the problem is, however, most women -now a days- have the wrong idea about the chase. I look back in my younger years and I chased girls and in some cases I chased them for quite an extended period of time. But, once you get older, women expect a lot more from you.

This is where the game gets “down and dirty.” When money is introduce into the picture. Women have a healthy chunk of responsibility, too. They have their bills to pay and they often are in need of an extra financial boost, to carry them from week to week. Hence, the ones who are more likely to understand the chase will know that a guy is not going to run after her just to give her money, pay her, or take care of her. She has to do something in return.

Not sexually, all the time, but show interest. This is where a lot of the younger girls tend to misunderstand. They want something for nothing! They don’t want to work for it. Back in the days, guys took great care of their women, but the women worked for it. they cooked, they cleaned, they took care of the kids, and they were even great lovers. These were the type of women a guy would love to pursue. They were worth chasing. OMG, but look at what we are faced with today.

We got lazy, immature, dumb, fast food eating girls who just want to LOOK good wanting a guy to “set them free” financially, when the truth is they not worth a dime. They are stuck with a high school mentality of dating. Girls know that when it comes to sex they maintain a great deal of power. Younger girls believe that sex is their only prize possession.And basically, that is all they have to offer. They cannot seem to accept the fact that their knight and shining armour is not gonna fall weak as they would like him too. Because chasing after a girl and giving her money and not demanding anything in return is very weak. We are not kids anymore. There are other things to be done in our life.

Women are truly lost these days. Society has forced them to be this way. They have been destroyed by too much knowledge. Many of them have parents and girlfriends that has taught them everything about the male species. Unfortunately, with the game given away like that, younger women refuse to make the same mistakes and older women. Sex sells and they think that is what it is all about.

there are just too many uneducated women out there now, and they do really need to grow up. there are plenty of us innocent men that don’t play games like they are doing today, and we seriously would like to meet a good woman today. that is, if they still exist. many women years ago accepted a man for who he was, and he did not have to have a lot of money like today. many women want men that either have a lot of money, or if they are rich. that goes to show you how many rotten women that are out there now, that just can’t accept a man for himself. i myself, can accept a woman for who she is. at the time when i was married, i was a very good loving and caring husband that never cheated on her. she was the one that cheated and i had thought that i was going to spend the rest of my life with her and have a family. now i just hope that i can meet a good woman for me this time around, instead of going out and wasting so much time, money, gas, and ware and tare on the car. it would be cheaper for me just to have a steady girlfriend to be with, instead of running the roads.

None of you guys get it and a woman is not going to tell you cause the concept is not formed in the logic center of her mind, but in her subconscious. Women can’t go around being the natural woman that is inside of them. Culture forced them to create shields. It all boils down to two things. Women are afraid of being labeled a slut so their anti-slut shield goes up, the moment a guy hits on them before they are emotionally connected with him. Also, the thought that sex could lead to having a child at the wrong time or with the wrong guy is always in the back of their mind.

If you know how to flirt, do so! If she flirts back, you should approach. If she doesn’t, there is nothing there, so move on! Build comfort first, then slowly turn up the heat. If she doesn’t connect, get the picture and leave her alone! Leaving her alone after meeting her might even work in your favor because she will wonder why you don’t like her like all the other guys. Just play the game and stop being a wuss! Above all, be confident enough to walk away knowing that there are other fish in the sea. Sheesh…

women that play hard to get are such a tease, and always will be. then again, many of you women have not grown up yet.

The thing is though, this strategy is akin to planting the same crop in the same field year after year. Eventually you will run into diminishing returns then a barren landscape. Sure the strategy may work in the ultra short term for some individual women, but as time progressing each woman who uses this strategy will make it harder for other women to find dates. Given the rise of social movements like MGTOW(Men Going Their Own Way), and in general a rise in dissatisfaction among men about many things in life.

If you want to see the end result of such strategies look at women over 30 who are desperate, single, and zero reasonable outlook for marriage or even dating in many cases. If a gal has no interest in a guy, but keeps stringing him along, eventually he will just say “F it” and stop dating altogether. Given the fact that gal’s really aren’t having an easy time finding dates, marriage etc due to the gender war in the first place, your planting your own garden with salt by advocating this pathological strategy.

If a gal doesn’t like a guy she should be upfront about it.

Lastly, about the article itself: Men like competition, except in our lvoe lives. Nothing destroys attraction as much as a gal that has “many offers”. In some way’s it is saying “your easily replaceable”, “I don’t value you”, and lastly it makes a reasonable guy think she is going to be more likely to cheat in a relationship.

One thing gal’s need to understand is, some intelligent/clever gal’s like try to sabotage other gal’s when it comes to dating. They will give advice that “sounds good”, only to trick the gal into destroying her own chances with a guy so the clever/intelligent gal will have a much easier time finding a date or getting the guy. Look at this advice from a social perspective and it is outright toxic. It only makes sense if your looking out for numero uno.

We don’t want the “best” guy to get us. We want the most “suitable” guys who meet our personality. Even the “best” ones will fail. Remember this :” when you look good, they expect good”. And when the guy she thinks he is good fails, she gets broken heart. There is no game to play to seek what is inside. Only observation. The ones you think he is bad and doesn’t want you as much might be the one who actually deserves you.

There is nothing wrong with MEN/WOMEN taking the time to get to know each other!! I believe people should do this more often so that they have a chance to get to know each other to see if they are compatible with one another before they get in a LONG COMMITED RELATIONSHIP. It’s called DATING!!!! How in a right mind can a MAN/WOMAN possibly know if the person they have just met is the right one for them. Everything in life takes TIME!! Those who take the time to get to know you instead of jumping into a relationship are the intelligent ones who value their self worth and want to find the MOST SUITABLE mate for themselves!! In the beginning everyone has their guard up as they should so that they dont end up meeting someone who would harm them!!!!!!I haven’t met anyone who found it attractive when someone threw them selves on someone in the beginning and demanded an answer in such a short period of time!!! Some people are just not interested but others can not accept it, and some need more time, usually based on their life experiences or especially if there are CHILDREN INVOLVED!!!!! After a divorce a good mother or father will be very cautions and will always put their children’s needs first!!!!!
There is nothing wrong with being cautious and making sure that we will end up with a loving partner.

For those that wrote such filthy statements about women, with that kind of hatred and attitude I am not surprised that you have a difficult time finding someone. People can pick up on negativity. We all got hurt at some point in our lives but I believe the act of life is being able to forgive/say goodbye and move on.

paul said it the best. Also Natasha’s metaphor was a little retarded but her point is true. To me it just sounds like all the men with the nasty comments are crying and butt hurt just because the girl isn’t easy enough, stripping off her clothes and opening her legs fast enough on THEIR time. Thus the reason for hard to get; to see if the guy is in it for some ass or for some class. Not a damn thing wrong with a girl not wanting to get jerked around and become girlfriend number 3. You dudes keep talking about ‘the old days’. Yea the old days women didn’t have much say in shit and had to answer to men. It’s not fucking 1950, move on. All women aren’t going to giggle and swoon over every little thing you do and say, all women are definitely not going to jump into a relationship they THINK is serious because in your mind it may not be. You got an issue grab a tissue. Oh and a tub of ice cream since you guys are so damn emotional on the comments. Lol oh and women weren’t even allowed to have some level of education and we couldn’t vote. So saying women are uneducated ‘nowadays’ is pretty a pretty uneducated thing to say. Just because a women is cautious and tests the guys she’s dating doesn’t make her uneducated, horrible, a bitch and a tease. It makes her pretty damn smart. Have a nice day and quit being so bitter and acting like you’re owed something. That’s you’re first problem in pursuing a women. Work on that shit. Ciao~ <3

Their*
I’m on a fuckin roll here!

Thank you! I have a man anyways, just wanted to say a little something because the misogyny is ridiculous. I have nothing against men except the ones who walk around acting like they are owed the world because they gave a woman a tad but of attention. More fish in the sea dudes, chillll.

Well I’m glad I played hard to get or took my time before I got too involvled with a man, not letting him know if I was all in or not. He invited me over for dinner with 6 other women at the same time. He flirted with all of us taking turns passing out his crumbs of attention. I left early. He still chats it up with every woman he sees then after they fall for him he moves on and finds the next ego booster. Playing hard to get or waiting to see what his true intentions are is smart, no broken heart or wasted time for me.

playing hard to get by girls to me is good. but the problem at hand here is that most girls do not know how to play the game and on whom to play that game on. One thing girls forget of is that every man in life grows up with a different character and perception about issues. Naturally, men want to be tested but when it comes to LOVE the girls have to be very cautious. I am twenty three. When i started growing up I played hard to get on a lot of women but the girls I played that on were those I really didn;t love and I never entered into a relationship. I had made up my mind that I will become a Priest. Four years ago i fell in love with one of my the girls in our church. Two years ago, I wanted to tell her but being a shy fellow i could not. I nurtured the passion until 2013 before I was able to tell her. there are clear indications that she secretly admires me but she told me plainly that she is occupied. when i give her a text message asking her about how she is fairing, she waits for almost a week before replying. I am a very disciplined fellow who does not want my actions to send any guy like me into emotional torture and I do not also like forcing people to take up decisions. Because of this I do not want to force her in any way to accept my proposal. I am beginning to loose interest in her although I know she loves me. MY ADVICE TO YOU GIRLS IS THAT YOU CAN PLAY HARD TO GET ON BOYS BUT DO NOT LET THEM HAVE THE PERCEPTION THAT YOU AREN;T INTERESTED.