How To Play Hard To Get with a Guy

How To Play Hard To Get with a Guy

Do you know why girls play hard to get? Perhaps, it’s because knowing how to play hard to get with a guy is by far the most effective way to make any guy desire you in no time. After all, it’s a secret that really works!

Knowing how to play hard to get with a guy is the difference between becoming desirable and being overlooked.

But most men do say it puts them off. So why do girls play hard to get anyways?

And are men really telling the truth? Does playing hard to get turn them off?

Playing hard to get

Guys may get frustrated when they have to put up with girls who play hard to get, but they too, would accept that they like it when girls play hard to get.

Well, at least most men would.

[Read: What men like in women more than anything else]

How to play hard to get with a guy

We’ve seen it happen several times, in movies, amongst friends and in several other places full of frenzied dating activities.

Women love playing hard to get, and they usually play hard to get even if they like the guy.

This is pretty much the “pre-courting” of the courting days in humans.

The attraction of playing hard to get

When most men were asked, they admitted that they love it when girls play hard to get.

Why do they like it? And how to learn to play hard to get, and make it work in your advantage? [Read: The right way to talk to a guy and make him like you]

Firstly, you should know that playing hard to get gives men something to fight for. After all, men just have the most competitive and egoistic craniums in the history of the world.

And don’t we all know how much men love a good challenge. When a man wants to woo a girl and sweep her off her feet, he’s doing this before any other fanciable man could sweep this girl away, amidst stiff competition.

Along with the happy feeling of wooing this woman, a man also gets an ego boost. It was him that she chose after all that playing hard to get, and not anyone else, so what does this make him in her eyes, an alpha male of sorts. He is the “almost-perfect-definition” of the male species in her eyes.

How to play hard to get and make it work

Most girls know how to play hard to get with a guy, but they don’t know all the rules. Playing hard to get is a big boost, but at times, it’s a big turn off for a guy when a girl keeps spurning him all the time.

If you think a guy is fanciable, and you’ve been keeping him on ice all this while, it’s time for you to give away a few signs to show that your freezing heart is finally starting to thaw.

The guy may be on a conquest to steal your heart, but there would be times when even he might feel like he’s fighting a losing battle when you overdo the game of playing hard to get. This is when that little smile or the fluttering eyelid and a hug or a cute public display of affection of sorts would give him a new source of renewed vigor. [Read: How men really fall in love]

Some girls play hard to get with a guy all the time, while some girls are overly friendly and flip their lid for the first guy who makes a move at them. Based on scientific studies, it is seen that men are not put off by either of these women. But the one woman who can turn a guy on at all times is the woman who is “selectively playing hard to get”. [Read: How to seduce a man who isn’t yours]

How to play hard to get selectively

The selectively playing hard to get girl is usually happier in a relationship for a longer time, and would hardly ever get dumped or two-timed.

Two subsequent studies supported this idea. The selectively playing hard to get woman is the one who is easy for “the guy” to get, but hard for all other men to get. She is happy to date this special guy, she talks sweet with other men, but she declines dates from all other men and never really oversteps her boundaries. This keeps the selective man who’s wooing her on a high. He respects her more, and each time he is with her, he realizes how lucky he is to have her around him. [Read: How to make a man fall in love with you]

So we can safely say that the optimal strategy would be to give the impression that you have many offers for dates with other guys, but you refuse them, while indicating that you are willing to date the one guy in your life, although it will take some effort on his part to persuade you to completely give yourself in.

If you think about it, this makes sense. It is a much enjoyed ego boost for the man to know that he is dating a woman who could be with countless other men. But at the same time, when you play hard to get with a guy, it keeps him on turbo-boost when it comes to impressing you because he’s still scared of losing you.

[Read: How to get a guy to ask you out]

Knowing how to play hard to get with a guy can be the difference between keeping a guy interested and losing him! Continue reading about the successful strategies of playing hard to get in how to make the chase game work for you.

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134 thoughts on “How To Play Hard To Get with a Guy”

  1. Claire says:

    I do this with my boyfriend all the time and it works so well. It

  2. Kai says:

    I just wanted to say that I recently reconciled with a man I was dating and he was playing hard to get and I decided to break it off immediately. I consider myself ahead beyond those games and have no interest in people who feel they must appear different than they really are. Its immature on both sexes’ part.

  3. Spader says:

    LOL for men playing hard to get. Men who play hard to get will end up with nothing but a woman who will play even HARDER to get… if you know what I mean… The bar will be closed, metaphorically speaking…

  4. Drago says:

    I understand that women want to be pursued, but there is a line that is often crossed when playing hard to get. All to often I have been turned off or completely confused by women who played these games. If you have been spending time with a guy and he surprises you with flowers or a gift be appreciative and don’t act as if it’s no big deal by trying too sound “adult”. Believe it or not girls, guys like to know that someone is interested in them as well! I use to enjoy the challenge in my younger days (high school) but now I prefer a woman who is straightforward and avoids playing mind games.

  5. is it so difficult says:

    We have got to understand that SOMEONE who plays hard to get or is playing hard to get is:
    A – Not interested in you
    B – You gave him/her way too much attention in the beginning than they deserve
    C – You called him/her first
    D – You started acting needy, desperate, clingy etc.
    E – You are easy to get and
    F – ALL of the above It can be E or any other letter, really. PERIOD

  6. TRUTH says:

    The dating advice for men is exactly the same. It’s all garbage. Attractive bodies get more attention, thus they have the luxury of rejecting those who don’t meet they’re criteria. Thus, the whole “hard to get” routine is merely an illusion. It’s just hot people filtering out the ugly.

  7. Tingsryd says:

    This is stupid. Women play hard to get ’cause it works on them. It can so easily backfire on a guy (on to the next one). And the end of the article basically says: “play hard to get to other men but not the one you’re actually dating.” DUH!

  8. Paul says:

    This is not a good article. The hard to get thing is a part of high school or early college, but it has no place once you are in your mid twenties. It inevitably backfires. A girl I really liked at work played hard to get for several months, to the point I became turned off and lost interest. I realized she wasnt genuine, and I found someone else quickly. Several months later she told other girs at work she wanted me back, but I had met someone better. To this day she is weird about the whole thing. Playing hard to get is a sign of immaturity and lack of self-esteem. A guy will actually respect you less, and in time will go for a more reliable girl who’s honest.

  9. very true says:

    women who play hard to get are losers to begin with. the way they dress and act, sends a message that they are really pigs today. they are pretty much a tease when they go out, and are not worth meeting anyway. i am looking to meet a woman with class, down to earth, caring, and loving, and has a good head on her shoulders. there are not too many of them left out there anymore. whatever happened to the good ones today? i would like to hear from you.

  10. dave says:

    More games? I guess I got rejected , as usual, for not playing the “game” that they wish men to play, but I did kind of laugh when the next guy ( Mr. Alpha Male?) knocked out two of her teeth. I guess they get what they deserve.

  11. Sarah says:

    how do i play hard to get but i dont wanna lose him i want him to want me evn moree

  12. Jackie Clarisse says:

    a girl/woman who is playing hard to get , they feel that they really like that guy but they just don’t want to admit it. and they are scared because they dont want to look stupid. they want to act like they dont care and see if the guy they like really bothers to care . I’m a girl myself and sometimes if i try to be easy on a guy that i like, i get the most negative feedback ever. not at the point where i am so desparate, but a matter of showing respect. and if i try to play hard to get, they suddenly want to know more about me. i think its unfair but in order to get what we want, we have to be smart and be spontaneous . boys if you like a girl, just be honest and be a man, instead of giving us reasons why we have to play hard to get. 🙂

  13. JM says:

    It’s just a game and all games have pay offs, except if you lose this one it involves deleting a useless number from your cell .

    One of the most enlightening books I found was “The Games People Play”, written by a psychiatrist. It gets the point across with how people are acting as non-adults if they start to play games essentially, and that theyre a childish way of attaining intimacy ( even in non sexual relationships).

    I agree with you Paul.

  14. so very right says says:

    as a straight man, i am very tired of these women that play games today. this sends a message out that they are losers now. there are not that many good women left out there anymore. they are very trashy, especially the way they dress now. how are us good straight men out there suppose to meet a good woman now? years ago, women were much smarter than the ones out there today. then again, they were raised very well by their parents. half of them now, are lesbians to begin with. then you have the ones that do like men, but they are filthy whores. they want as many men as they can at one time, instead of just being with one man. either way, we men lose. so where in the world are the good women today? it looks like the good ones have been taken. it is very obvious, why men like us cannot meet good women today. we really cannot blame ourselves, for the garbage that they now have become.

  15. Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.

  16. Steph says:

    Ummmmm if anything, guys are the pigs these days. All they want is sex and no relationship. THAT’S why women play games we have to! Men genetically all think the same, some worse then others; but their all discousting the way they think. I will never let a man use me I use them i play their game on them!

  17. ariana says:

    Some women play hard to get coz they dont want their hearts broken, personally i do it coz wen i love a guy, i really mean it……alot, seriously and i already got my heart broken in a million pieces and i dont want to go through that again so i just play hard to get so tht i can get over that guy i was actually starting to like, but i actually think it drows them closer,but its wrong wat we r doing and am sorry guys but some girls are just not ready to move on so they tend to play with u alittle and we r so sorry but thats wat keeps us going everyday,……………….YOU, but dont think u can just use us like that. But its u and love that most girls(women) live 4….. And u should embrace that, so should we.

  18. Man ANonymous says:

    “When most men were asked, they admitted that they love it when girls play hard to get.” REALLY? Author asked MOST OF THE WORLDS MEN? This article is crap. Play hard to get & you’re on your own. Be down to earth, you get a shot at something working. This is for silly little girls in their 20’s. Nonsense.

  19. absolutely right says says:

    it seems that women enjoy playing games, but they really have a lot of growing up to do. i am in my late fifties now, and had been married at one time. my wife cheated on me, and i never cheated on her. i loved her very much, and i knew what i had at home and did not have to go out looking for it anymore. i was a very caring and loving husband, and never mistreated her in anyway. now being single and alone again, sucks fore me. when i go out, i seem to meet the nastiest women with their very bad attitude. why is that? i not into playing games like them, especially at my age now. as a straight man that is seriously looking to meet a good woman for me again, time is short for me. i wish that i was thirty years younger again, it would have been a lot easier than now. i just want to meet a good woman again to make me very happy again. by the way, i do notice now that there are many women that are lesbians now, and that will kind of add to the problem as well.

  20. anonymous says:

    good women are very hard to find these days. they do play very hard too get, and i just do not know why. there are many serious straight men like us that are still looking too meet a good woman that does not play games. but where are the good women today? many of the women out there now, need to grow up first. not to mention, many women now are very uneducated and are just a tease.

  21. Natasha says:

    Well, I have something to say to all the oversmart dumb men commenting here. Gosh, firstly, their stupidity and hypocrisy makes me laugh and annoys me at the same time.

    Guys, let me ask you a question. What if you were the richest guy in the world, and one day, you decide to buy a car. Now you’re really really rich, so you can afford any car in the world. What would you do?

    You obviously don’t have the time to test drive every car in the world even though you can afford any car you want. So at first, you’d pick only the classy ones that you think are worthy enough to be your car. Right?

    And what do you do then? You TEST drive the car and see how you feel while driving the car.

    Now when it comes to an attractive and wonderful girl, it’s the same thing. She can get any guy she wants! So if she decides to put a few guys to test by playing hard to get and seeing who’s worthy, what’s your f***ing problem? If you’re a guy who’s worthy of a great girl’s attention, you’ll definitely get her.

    It’s only the losers in life and ugly men who whine about girls playing hard to get. The best guys in the world enjoy a good chase because they like winning over women.

    There is no free lunch, loser men, if you’re worth it, learn to win a woman. Otherwise, go find a goat or a dog. Ugh! Why do unworthy men always want everything served on a platter?!!

  22. John H says:

    (Natasha,, March 3 2012) said “Otherwise, go find a goat or a dog. Ugh”

    Either of those are better than the pig that you quite clearly are Natasha. I really hope you fall for the wrong man and he beats seven bells of crap out of you. That should adjust that entitled attitude of yours and so many other women these days. And, let’s face it, we do see it on the news. And guys like me, well, we laugh. You wanted to play a game… You damn well got it. Enjoy.

  23. so very right says:

    natasha, you like so many other women today are just LOW LIFE LOSERS. i look at you women as being so very much uneducated. why don’t you try reading a book on how to talk too men better, instead of being so stupid that you are. hey, maybe a miracle will happen. if you women would know how to read, it will help.

  24. franko says:

    there seems to be a lot of very nasty women like Natasha. having problems with men? do you like women better than men? it would figure, women like you that seem to have a rotten attitude with men are usually lesbians anyway.

  25. Melissa says:

    There is a difference between playing games/being misleading and playing hard to get. Most girls these days don’t know how to play hard to get so they give the impression that they are not interested so rather than trying to get the guy’s attention, they confuse them and push them away. Playing hard to get doesn’t mean that you should show no interest, ignore the guy and keep distance. There’s nothing wrong with letting the guy know that you like him. Talk, ask a lot of questions, show him that you are interested and that you like him. After few months of dating, give him space, you don’t want to be too clingy. You don’t want to bore him or make him get sick of you. Make him want you more. When he texts you or ask you out again, don’t text him back quickly and tell him that you already have plans but don’t do that often. You don’t want to push him away. Just show him that you are doing something productive, you have something going on in your life, you are interesting. Make him want to find out more about you. That’s how you get someone’s attention. Back in the days, real men loved a challenge, they loved chasing after women but men these days want the easy way, they don’t want to work hard and put an effort into something. Their mentality is ‘give me an apple and I will eat it’.

  26. very wrong says says:

    the way i look at it, women are just a big tease today. there are many of us serious men that do not like the bar scene, and we always seem to meet very nasty women with an attitude problem. i am in my late fifties, and i am not into these games that the women are playing today. for me, life is short. i would really like to meet a good woman for me this time around, since i was married at one time. she cheated on me after being with her for fifteen years, and i was very faithful to her. i loved her very much, and i would have thought that i was going to spend the rest of my life with her and have a family as well. now that i go out a lot again, it is like trying to win a game that cannot be won. like i have said, for me time is short and i would love very much to meet that special woman for me again. i hate being alone, as it is. i would just like to meet a woman that can love me for myself, and i would love her and treat her very well too.

  27. mike says says:

    these women that are like this to begin with, are a LOW LIFE . i never realized that there are so many no good women today, and years ago they were very well EDUCATED. today, many of them are certainly not worth meeting anyway, because of the way that they have changed. LOSERS.

  28. James says:

    All the people commenting that “women these days”… “men back then”… essentially, “the good old days” give me a chuckle. Y’all have no actual idea of what things were like in your little ‘golden era’. Games have been played by both sides for eras, and very much of the time folks are not aware they are playing games. It’s all part of the mating dance.

    Of course there are exceptions. Of course there are a$$holes out there looking to throw you for a loop. It’s up to the rest of us to see through that bs.

    All this article does is state some basic concepts about a basic game that shouldn’t be taken too seriously.

  29. I agree with James. It’s all a mating dance, and it’s been going on for eras.

    There is a difference between playing games and playing hard to get. The thing is, women need to know how to play hard to get properly, and men need to know how to distinguish it from a girl that just wants to play mind games. It’s all very tricky, I suppose, but that’s love, isn’t it? If it was easy and straightforward, who would appreciate it for the special thing that it is? Now me, I don’t play hard to get, because it’s just not my cup of tea. I don’t have the patience for it. And you know what? Being straightforward about my feelings and intentions has not done me a bit of good. Instead, I end up with MEN who like to play games. Go figure. It’s like the two types pull at each other, regardless of which gender is filling which role.

    But my bottom line is, just because a girl plays hard to get and wants the man to work for her does not make her some horrible manipulative person, and just because a woman is forthright and honest does not guarantee she’ll find a man who will give her the same courtesy.

  30. MIKE SAYS says:

    reading some of these comments here is very true that women are very DYSFUNCTIONAL today. when a lot of us straight men get to be a certain age, we are REALLY NOT into the BAR SCENE. i see how women act today, and they really need to GROW UP. i have been REJECTED by many women, and i am a good looking man that is VERY SERIOUS, THAT IS VERY MUCH HOPING TO MEET A good straight woman for me again to make me happy. i do like to dance a lot, so i will go to the CLUBS on the weekend. since i live down the shore, i will walk on the BOARDWALK a lot. i am not shy at all, so i will say HELLO to many women up there. most of them think that THEIR SHIT DON’T STINK, and will not say hello at all. many of them are so DAMN NASTY to talk too, and CERTAINLY have such an ATTITUDE PROBLEM, ESPECIALLY when i see other men like me that are trying to START a conversation with them. so as you can see, it is NOT AT ALL EASY meeting good women for us men NOWADAYS. i can’t blame myself, since i did not DO ANYTHING WRONG by trying to meet a good woman today for me. the problem we have today for us men, is that there are just TOO MANY LOW LIFE LOSER WOMEN OUT THERE TODAY.

  31. Kurt says:

    Natasha, only young women can get away with that type of behavior. As women get older they lose their looks and value int eh dating market at a much faster rate than men. So after a woman reaches a certain age, she had better have matured and stopped playing these childish games because most decent men stop tolerating them after awhile. Women also eventually realize that men are not simply fungible commodities, as they realize that they like some of the men much more than most others and don’t want to screw it up when they meet a man they actually like.

  32. subwayrider says:

    I found that Natasha’s post resonated most with me. I also couldn’t help but notice that all the, shall we say, more hateful men were the ones writing with broken grammar and punctuation. They say women like smart men; perhaps this is the source of some of your frustration. A few points:

    1. Judging by its layout and models, this website is INTENDED for women in their late teens to late twenties. Of course older women aren’t going to play hard to get, or will play it less.

    2. Notice all the sweeping generalizations.

    3. Faux pas, anyone? Again, in broken grammar and punctuation.

    4. Why in the hell are 90% of the comments here being posted by men? Isn’t this an article for women?

    It’s already been mentioned, but all animals have their mating rituals. I’ve been pursuing this girl in one of my college classes for a few months, now, and am closing in. Yeah, it sucks in a way, but I’m doing it because I know she is worth it. I could have had almost any other girl in the class months ago, because they all think I’m great, but I would have been settling for less. What comes easy isn’t necessarily what is best, in fact, it rarely is. Ever hear that anything in life worth having, has to be worked for? I really like this girl, she is the one I want, and I know how much competition I have. It will be worth it if I get her, and I know she’d appreciate that I was willing to work for it.
    If I don’t get her, well… it was fun. I, for one, enjoyed the chase.

  33. Billy M says:

    so many uneducated women that are out there now, so very sad. the way i look at it, you women do need to get rid of the ATTITUDE PROBLEM that many of you have today. i guess that many of you women out there were a victim of abuse, either by your parents or the men in your life that you were with at one time. there are still many of us GOOD MEN available waiting to meet a GOOD WOMAN, if there are any left.

  34. Emily says:

    I’m a 15 year old girl and In my opinion, Playing “Hard to Get” is stupid and childish. Basically in my eyes i see it as a woman/man that sees a guy/girl that they like and are either lonely, desperate to find their “one true love”, or fell in love with that person’s looks. Therefore they are either so shy or so lonely and don’t want to look stupid if that person rejects them, so they end up wanting to play Hard To Get. The reason why I don’t play Hard To Get is because why are you going to try and push that person back and forth to play with that person’s mind? I think that people should be not only true to themselves, but true to everyone else. If that person is supposed to be your true love then they will most likely fall in love for the way you are naturally and not because of your body or how you act, but on how you think and how well your personality matches with their’s.

  35. Emily says:

    Oh and by the way @Natasha, could you please not compare us women to Cars? I heard that comparison along with women being like “Ice Cream’s”, and seeing that you’re most likely a female yourself, you shouldn’t be bashing on your own gender. Women are not like Cars, Ice Cream’s, etc…, we have feelings, a personality, a brain, and we all have different looks along with different ways of thinking. Now yes, most women now a days think stupidly and make really dumb decision’s, same with men. But there are some of us women left in the world, along with some men left, that are nice, caring, sweet, good listeners, don’t care too much about the way you look, pays attention to the way you are as a person and how you think, and at least try to make good decision’s in life.

  36. Emily says:

    Oh and by the way @Natasha, I can tell you won’t be getting any man soon by the way you talk and think because I doubt any man wants to hear or be around an obnoxious, pushy, very controlling woman like you criticizing them and basically being told for them to kiss your f**king feet. Sorry but you’re not a f**king queen, and if you do have someone, then they’re pretty damn stupid.

  37. absolutely right says says:


  38. Kayla says:

    It’s funny to see how so many guys are ganging on the commenter, Natasha, just because she told the truth.

    Seriously, guys, look at how you’re behaving.

    Guys like pretty girls. Girls like guys who have a good personality.

    A guy doesn’t pursue every girl he sees, he only goes after girls he finds beautiful. And just like that, a girl plays hard to get with guys so she can find out who is actually interested in her and at the same time, also learn more about his personality before committing to him.

    Why is that so wrong really? And about all the guys speaking so rudely, it does seem like you have some issues. Do you feel threatened that you’re not good enough to get a great girl? Or are you just angry with great girls because they broke your heart?

  39. joe says says:

    first of all Kayla, there are so many ROTTEN WOMEN that have an ATTITUDE PROBLEM. second of all, many women are so VERY NASTY to talk too. if your such an EXPERT on this topic, explain why they are like this. i am in my late fifties, and i do not play games. i had been married at one time, but she turned out to be a WHORE. that is what you call a woman who CHEATS by the way. because she certainly was no ANGEL. i was a VERY CARING AND LOVING LOVING HUSBAND that never ever cheated on her, but she CHEATED on me. there are a lot of us STRAIGHT MEN out there that do want to meet a GOOD WOMAN. if they are still around. i am tired of going out as it is, because of the way you women have CHANGED today. the problem is that there are so many LESBIANS out there now making it much worse for us men, and we can’t BLAME ourselves for that. i certainly have to say that there seems to be so many LOW LIFE WOMEN out there now than ever before. at least years ago, women were certainly MUCH MORE EDUCATED, and now many of you women think that YOUR SHIT DON’T STINK. many of the women today just need to read a book ON HOW TO TALK TOO MEN BETTER, and this might make most of you EDUCATED AGAIN. after all, MIRACLES CAN HAPPEN.

  40. Aaron R says:

    I have a bone to pick with Natasha as well lol
    From what I’ve read, some of the guys here doesn’t seem to mind a little hard to get game. Their complaint is when a girl over does it.

    Using your own metaphor, it’s fine to test drive that car, really. But not all girls know how to test drive a car well enough and can take the testing a little too far. Eg. Her idea of testing the cars strength is by driving head on into a concrete wall at full speed, or testing its endurance so much that she’d slam the accelerator at full strength when the car has run out of gas. Even the best Ferarri can’t past such test, much less a Honda.

    A good car buyer knows that even for a test drive a car needs some good TLC and proper looking after, not someone lazy and can’t be arsed to do maintenance but expects it to run like a F1 car. If not, the car will simply refuse to run for you and wait for a better owner, especially a car in high demand like a Ferarri.

    Also, “enjoy a good chase because they like winning over women”
    Way to objectify your own gender by saying that women are merely a prize to be won over…

    Also, “Ugh! Why do unworthy men always want everything served on a platter?!!”
    Tell me again, which gender is the one who just sits around, flicking hair and acting pretty while expecting people to make a beeline for a chance to impress them? From what I see, women are the ones wanting everything served on a silver platter, and apparently from your comment women actually run tests if these platters are of the highest quality of silver.

    If you’re confident you know how to play hard to get, then go ahead but know your limits. For most other women, I’m sure there are better ways to learn about your partner. I mean, guys never had to resort to playing hard to get to ‘test’ and get to know their partner, why should you?

    Lastly I’d like to point out why some men may be hesitant to push on when women play hard to get: sexual harassment laws. Guys never know if they’ll be that creep that will be reported on if they do decide to pursue.

  41. thA loC says:

    guys Come up on this website All thA time, you girls know thAt right….

    SMH good looks tho

  42. rob says says:

    women that play hard to get, are such LOSERS to begin with. GROW UP LADIES.

  43. Robb says:

    I’m a dude, and playin hard to get is such a turn off! If ur playin hard to get 24/7, men would not want to keep chasing u.. It’s plenty of other woman out here.. Yal game can make men walk away easy… Yal women watch too many movies

  44. Tums says:

    Each individual is searching for that person to connect with. I refuse to compare both men and women of this generation to the past generation, as I am sure we both know what a difference there is. This article is for women to read up and confirm what they know if not what they are unsure of. There is a lot to learn from the past as much as there is more to gain now. I feel that it doesnt matter your age, the game is more or less the same – just different players at a totally different time! Anywhoo, it takes one Dushbag to influence/change the a womans perspective towards men!!! Just my opinion!

  45. I’m a 50 yr old female and I say hate the game, not the player. The nature of the game is a tug of war between the sexes and a healthy balance of compromise is necessary. Sometimes the man needs to be played a little, and sometimes the woman needs to be played a little. I can’t stand a guy who is all into me; makes me think he’s weak. At 50 I’m not wasting my time on knuckle heads either; I weed ’em out by playing hard to get. I LOVE subwayrider; he knows what he’s doing.

    As far as being nasty is concerned, all the females that act this way need to be passed by. When they get older, they’ll settle down and realize compromise is necessary. It’s the only way relationships work to make two people happy.

    That 15 yr old girl needs to zip her mouth and listen. Unless you keep your legs closed until you get married, and even then it’s no guarantee, you’re going to find out men can be babies and you are the bottle they want to suck on period. You have to learn how to stand up for yourself by making sure you get what you want, so you may have to go “Natasha” or you will end up “nasty”. All that fairy tale stuff does not work. Just as sure as you are reading this message, a man will play you for what he wants while you’re trying to be all nice and real. You better get real and get on your game. You definitely don’t want to end up like me, all lonely because I became “nasty” after trying to be so nice for so long.

    I’m on my game now. Time will tell if it’s too late.

  46. Gary says:

    IT IS SO DIFFICULT, Women will be too friendly with men and lead them on. Iv’e had them flirt with me repeatedly. They will act really eager and give me a big smile. Later i find out that they are spoken for or f’ed up in the head. Don’t give me all of your one -sided BS. Women play far more games than men ever thought of playing.

  47. ROBERT SAYS says:

    i certainly do have to say that the women years ago were a lot easier to meet, and were much more committed to their men. and many of us men were very committed as well. since the times have changed, so have the women. years ago, women and men both accepted one another for who they were. now today, there are so much more women making much better money than a lot of us men are. today we have women doctors, lawyers, dentists, and many other women that are a big boss in many companies. this certainly has a lot to do with it because, many women now think that they are all that. many of these women think that they are so powerful now in the work force, and have the attitude that they don’t need a man in their life. that is the difference between the men and the women now, and now that many women think that they are high and mighty, this certainly adds to the problem. since america was a very poor country back then, men and women had to accept one another for who they were like i have mentioned before. today it seems a woman just can’t accept a man, even though he makes a lot less money, and looks for a man that makes a lot of money instead. i certainly do blame the women of today, since they need to be much more educated and stop playing games just because many men can’t meet your expectations. try liking a man for himself. this is why it has become so hard for us good men that are really trying to meet a good woman today, if there are any good ones left.

  48. Guitar Guy says:

    Play hard to get = mind games.
    Don’t do mind games.

  49. Omg ok Natasha, my name is Natasha too and I’m sill not a shallow jerk u seem to be… Honestly now I’m embarrassed to have the same name as u. They way I see it, u look at all people like items in a store and u got an unlimited credit card! Get ur head out of your ass and then we will talk.

  50. Mike says:

    As a guy, I have to admit that a lot of pretty women might be playing hard to get but it’s often very hard for me to tell if that’s what’s happening or that they really aren’t interested. When I was a teenager, I was bad at getting girls. As a younger adult, I vowed to change that but found that I was been too persistant. I would keep asking girls out who basically made excuses not to go out, or who didn’t answer my calls, etc. One actually accused me of sexual harassment, so I decided that wasn’t the right approach. I’ve found that the more I respect myself and think well of myself, the less interested I am in ladies who regularly fail to respond to my texts/calls and are perpetually unavailable to go out. I GREATLY admire and fall for women who make me feel special and wanted. I don’t like girls who obsess over me in the sense that they doubt my sincerity however. I ADORE women who are comfortable with themselves. I despise women who play games. A confident attractive women is one who is selective and is willing to let you know that in a respectful manner. I LOVE women who aren’t ashamed to say no. Playing hard to get usually will make a woman less attractive. BEING selective will not.

  51. DAVE SAYS says:

    many women that do play very hard to get are such losers in the first place, and they are certainly the reason why many of us good men can’t seem to meet a good woman today. just too many LOW LIFE WOMEN out there now.

  52. bksingle says:

    In it’s own right, I can respect the chase. It is the law of nature, “The dog will chase the cat.” the problem is, however, most women -now a days- have the wrong idea about the chase. I look back in my younger years and I chased girls and in some cases I chased them for quite an extended period of time. But, once you get older, women expect a lot more from you.

    This is where the game gets “down and dirty.” When money is introduce into the picture. Women have a healthy chunk of responsibility, too. They have their bills to pay and they often are in need of an extra financial boost, to carry them from week to week. Hence, the ones who are more likely to understand the chase will know that a guy is not going to run after her just to give her money, pay her, or take care of her. She has to do something in return.

    Not sexually, all the time, but show interest. This is where a lot of the younger girls tend to misunderstand. They want something for nothing! They don’t want to work for it. Back in the days, guys took great care of their women, but the women worked for it. they cooked, they cleaned, they took care of the kids, and they were even great lovers. These were the type of women a guy would love to pursue. They were worth chasing. OMG, but look at what we are faced with today.

    We got lazy, immature, dumb, fast food eating girls who just want to LOOK good wanting a guy to “set them free” financially, when the truth is they not worth a dime. They are stuck with a high school mentality of dating. Girls know that when it comes to sex they maintain a great deal of power. Younger girls believe that sex is their only prize possession.And basically, that is all they have to offer. They cannot seem to accept the fact that their knight and shining armour is not gonna fall weak as they would like him too. Because chasing after a girl and giving her money and not demanding anything in return is very weak. We are not kids anymore. There are other things to be done in our life.

    Women are truly lost these days. Society has forced them to be this way. They have been destroyed by too much knowledge. Many of them have parents and girlfriends that has taught them everything about the male species. Unfortunately, with the game given away like that, younger women refuse to make the same mistakes and older women. Sex sells and they think that is what it is all about.

  53. Gill.B. says:

    May i just try to defend Natasha?
    So sure that she is just a happy, good looking and a bit cocky teenager! Let her enjoy her experiences and learn from her own mistakes! Guys in her age dont mind playing that type of games. But Once she’s grown up and lost couple of sets by playing hard- she might then change her tactics!
    And, if she is after all an adult woman: just simple smile will do its job. because if you are all clever and educated adult people- you wont take seriously and get upset because of that silly post!

  54. Joseph M says:

    there are just too many uneducated women out there now, and they do really need to grow up. there are plenty of us innocent men that don’t play games like they are doing today, and we seriously would like to meet a good woman today. that is, if they still exist. many women years ago accepted a man for who he was, and he did not have to have a lot of money like today. many women want men that either have a lot of money, or if they are rich. that goes to show you how many rotten women that are out there now, that just can’t accept a man for himself. i myself, can accept a woman for who she is. at the time when i was married, i was a very good loving and caring husband that never cheated on her. she was the one that cheated and i had thought that i was going to spend the rest of my life with her and have a family. now i just hope that i can meet a good woman for me this time around, instead of going out and wasting so much time, money, gas, and ware and tare on the car. it would be cheaper for me just to have a steady girlfriend to be with, instead of running the roads.

  55. Somemanguydude says:

    To tell you the truth “Playing hard to get”, if executed correctly…I mean CORRECTLY, can make man go wild. I am a man and I circled around different types of women and I can tell you if she knows how to do it CORRECTLY, then boy she can turn me on. I too was sick and angry from all these games, they made me vommit everytime girl started doing them, I just laughed my arse off, I tried ignoring them completely, I tried playing them and I tried to tell her gently to stop it…the only one that works is either ignore it or play with her, her own game, only that way she will open up…I despised these mindcrap games, I loathed them, I thought women who were playing them were immature little brats…but then I met few, EXPERIENCED and MATURE WOMEN, women who knew how to play it, who exactly KNEW how to do it and believe me guys, she can turn you on like a volcano, its just that 90% of women DONT KNOW how to do it, DONT KNOW what its for and DONT KNOW how to execute it. I even couldnt believe they could raise my libido sky high, believe me, when she knows how to play it, you will be so satisfied. But these immature women use playing hard to get ONLY to protect their shattered heart, thats why it always fails…the truth is ladies that, you CANT protect your heart, TESTS are for seeing if he is the real deal, but its just life, people are people, you have to go trough it, its the only way, to open up your heart…but those women who are jaded and know that playing hard to get is part of flirting, to make man passionate about her, then boy oh boy she can make me go wild. So ladies instead of showing off like uninterested in one second and then super hot in second…stop it please, go back to the chalkboard and LEARN PROPERLY how to play “hard to get”. The first step is into realising its not for your protection, its for making your man passionate about you.

  56. Paul Jack says:

    None of you guys get it and a woman is not going to tell you cause the concept is not formed in the logic center of her mind, but in her subconscious. Women can’t go around being the natural woman that is inside of them. Culture forced them to create shields. It all boils down to two things. Women are afraid of being labeled a slut so their anti-slut shield goes up, the moment a guy hits on them before they are emotionally connected with him. Also, the thought that sex could lead to having a child at the wrong time or with the wrong guy is always in the back of their mind.

    If you know how to flirt, do so! If she flirts back, you should approach. If she doesn’t, there is nothing there, so move on! Build comfort first, then slowly turn up the heat. If she doesn’t connect, get the picture and leave her alone! Leaving her alone after meeting her might even work in your favor because she will wonder why you don’t like her like all the other guys. Just play the game and stop being a wuss! Above all, be confident enough to walk away knowing that there are other fish in the sea. Sheesh…

  57. rheanna says:

    I think everyones different, and let’s be honest there are a lot of damaged people out there. What honestly is playing hard to get? no one should just jump into a relationship. I feel like when it comes to the right person there is no confusion everything feels right, and if there is a little bit of a chase it shouldn’t be to the extreme of frustration.

  58. Joey D says:

    women that play hard to get are such a tease, and always will be. then again, many of you women have not grown up yet.

  59. dave says:

    I guess that I would NEVER approach a woman ( always waiting for them to approach me so that I at least know that they are interested) ) but I should hope that I never run into anybody playing games like that!

  60. KW says:

    The thing is though, this strategy is akin to planting the same crop in the same field year after year. Eventually you will run into diminishing returns then a barren landscape. Sure the strategy may work in the ultra short term for some individual women, but as time progressing each woman who uses this strategy will make it harder for other women to find dates. Given the rise of social movements like MGTOW(Men Going Their Own Way), and in general a rise in dissatisfaction among men about many things in life.

    If you want to see the end result of such strategies look at women over 30 who are desperate, single, and zero reasonable outlook for marriage or even dating in many cases. If a gal has no interest in a guy, but keeps stringing him along, eventually he will just say “F it” and stop dating altogether. Given the fact that gal’s really aren’t having an easy time finding dates, marriage etc due to the gender war in the first place, your planting your own garden with salt by advocating this pathological strategy.

    If a gal doesn’t like a guy she should be upfront about it.

  61. KW says:


    If a gal does like the guy, and she plays games, she has to play them responsibly, and as little as possible. Like if you cancel a date, your bound to offer up the next date. Call him up and ask him if he wants to go to this place, that kind of thing. Then let him ask the next date. Never use sex for leverage or to balance things(like if he takes you out all the time etc). If you want to balance things take him out, do the little things that matter in a relationship. The occasional compliment/kiss on the cheek type thing, a cup of coffee out of the blue once and awhile. People don’t pay enough attention to the little things(guy’s and gal’s).

    And I think people need to get into the right frame about what sex is: it is an expression of love. Granted to those who think sex is just sex, it is, because those types of people are incapable of love.

  62. KW says:

    Lastly, about the article itself: Men like competition, except in our lvoe lives. Nothing destroys attraction as much as a gal that has “many offers”. In some way’s it is saying “your easily replaceable”, “I don’t value you”, and lastly it makes a reasonable guy think she is going to be more likely to cheat in a relationship.

    One thing gal’s need to understand is, some intelligent/clever gal’s like try to sabotage other gal’s when it comes to dating. They will give advice that “sounds good”, only to trick the gal into destroying her own chances with a guy so the clever/intelligent gal will have a much easier time finding a date or getting the guy. Look at this advice from a social perspective and it is outright toxic. It only makes sense if your looking out for numero uno.

  63. Just a girl says:

    I personally think there is no point of playing hard to get when nobody is seriously trying to get you. Instead of playing hard to get why dont we correct ourselves and ask oursleves if we are worthy enough or not as a person. Guys can act whatever they want, so does everyone else. We all never know who the best guy is until we start to get to know him and try to understand who he really is. Overtime, you’ll know who is more suitable to you. Believe it or not, a person can’t act good forever. Sometimes the ones we think they’re bad are the ones with a diamond heart. Why play hard to get when we all know nobody is perfect. Besides not every guy chasing you only wants sexual satisfaction. If you trully don’t want a guy to desire you for sex, then cover your self . The good ones will come eventhough you don’t expect them to come, even when you look like a hobo.

  64. Just a girl says:

    We don’t want the “best” guy to get us. We want the most “suitable” guys who meet our personality. Even the “best” ones will fail. Remember this :” when you look good, they expect good”. And when the guy she thinks he is good fails, she gets broken heart. There is no game to play to seek what is inside. Only observation. The ones you think he is bad and doesn’t want you as much might be the one who actually deserves you.

  65. John Smith says:

    that is all there good for, playing hard to get. and half of them are not much to look at to begin with.

  66. Tigra says:

    There is nothing wrong with MEN/WOMEN taking the time to get to know each other!! I believe people should do this more often so that they have a chance to get to know each other to see if they are compatible with one another before they get in a LONG COMMITED RELATIONSHIP. It’s called DATING!!!! How in a right mind can a MAN/WOMAN possibly know if the person they have just met is the right one for them. Everything in life takes TIME!! Those who take the time to get to know you instead of jumping into a relationship are the intelligent ones who value their self worth and want to find the MOST SUITABLE mate for themselves!! In the beginning everyone has their guard up as they should so that they dont end up meeting someone who would harm them!!!!!!I haven’t met anyone who found it attractive when someone threw them selves on someone in the beginning and demanded an answer in such a short period of time!!! Some people are just not interested but others can not accept it, and some need more time, usually based on their life experiences or especially if there are CHILDREN INVOLVED!!!!! After a divorce a good mother or father will be very cautions and will always put their children’s needs first!!!!!
    There is nothing wrong with being cautious and making sure that we will end up with a loving partner.

    For those that wrote such filthy statements about women, with that kind of hatred and attitude I am not surprised that you have a difficult time finding someone. People can pick up on negativity. We all got hurt at some point in our lives but I believe the act of life is being able to forgive/say goodbye and move on.

  67. So Very True says:

    there are just too much women nowadays playing very hard to get, and such losers they are to begin with. i am a serious straight man that doesn’t play games like many of you women do, and many of you certainly need to grow up already. it is very bad enough that my wife of fifteen years turned out to be very trashy, since she cheated on me. i was a very loving and caring husband that was very committed to her too, but it wasn’t good enough for her. that is the problem today, many women love to cheat and just can’t be committed to just one man anymore like they were years ago.

  68. Jessa says:

    paul said it the best. Also Natasha’s metaphor was a little retarded but her point is true. To me it just sounds like all the men with the nasty comments are crying and butt hurt just because the girl isn’t easy enough, stripping off her clothes and opening her legs fast enough on THEIR time. Thus the reason for hard to get; to see if the guy is in it for some ass or for some class. Not a damn thing wrong with a girl not wanting to get jerked around and become girlfriend number 3. You dudes keep talking about ‘the old days’. Yea the old days women didn’t have much say in shit and had to answer to men. It’s not fucking 1950, move on. All women aren’t going to giggle and swoon over every little thing you do and say, all women are definitely not going to jump into a relationship they THINK is serious because in your mind it may not be. You got an issue grab a tissue. Oh and a tub of ice cream since you guys are so damn emotional on the comments. Lol oh and women weren’t even allowed to have some level of education and we couldn’t vote. So saying women are uneducated ‘nowadays’ is pretty a pretty uneducated thing to say. Just because a women is cautious and tests the guys she’s dating doesn’t make her uneducated, horrible, a bitch and a tease. It makes her pretty damn smart. Have a nice day and quit being so bitter and acting like you’re owed something. That’s you’re first problem in pursuing a women. Work on that shit. Ciao~ <3

  69. Jessa says:

    excuse me *your before all the grammar Nazis shoot me with there rifles lol

  70. Jessa says:

    I’m on a fuckin roll here!

  71. SoVeryTrue says:

    To Jessa, you sound like a very sweet woman. the kind of woman that most of us men will stay away from.

  72. Jessa says:

    Thank you! I have a man anyways, just wanted to say a little something because the misogyny is ridiculous. I have nothing against men except the ones who walk around acting like they are owed the world because they gave a woman a tad but of attention. More fish in the sea dudes, chillll.

  73. Jason says:

    This hard to get games are really sick. You see, I have been seeing this particular girl @work for more than a year. She would steal glances at me several times, whenever she spots me. Believe me, she has never done this with any other guy, as far as I have noticed her. THough I had the courage to go and speak to her, seeing that she was a little shy, I refrained to go and speak to her, while she was with her friends anytime. Now, on valentine’s day I give her a rose and also add her to my personal list of contacts on messenger. I try to talk to her on messenger and even offer to meet her in the cafeteria, but she cuts me off, calling me a some random person. Still I do not give up and try to speak to her (only on messenger) on other things, but she does not respond rightfully and just gives blank replies/ answers to the point. Now, after much thought of how to get through to this girl, I have given up. I even tried to check with my friends and a counsellor, but they all said, she may not be interested. Now, tell me, why did she have to be play the “LOOKING GAME” only with me for about a year and now not be interested.

    I am very popular @work, though I don’t work in her team. I take good care of myself physically and have good hobbies and interests. I have spoken to her nicely and almost everyone. I always pleasantly smile @everyone that I meet and have decent talks.

    Now, tell me, why play a game with me. Either she is wrong in playing a game with me and leading me on, or I must have misread her (Confused!!!). But the latter could not be wrong, because it was close to a year.

    Do send in your replies.

  74. Natalie says:

    Well I’m glad I played hard to get or took my time before I got too involvled with a man, not letting him know if I was all in or not. He invited me over for dinner with 6 other women at the same time. He flirted with all of us taking turns passing out his crumbs of attention. I left early. He still chats it up with every woman he sees then after they fall for him he moves on and finds the next ego booster. Playing hard to get or waiting to see what his true intentions are is smart, no broken heart or wasted time for me.

  75. zambianah says:

    so why is it that most male bloggers sound challanged by the hard to get games if they feel ladies who play these games are losers huh?

  76. GRAYWOLF says:

    playing hard to get by girls to me is good. but the problem at hand here is that most girls do not know how to play the game and on whom to play that game on. One thing girls forget of is that every man in life grows up with a different character and perception about issues. Naturally, men want to be tested but when it comes to LOVE the girls have to be very cautious. I am twenty three. When i started growing up I played hard to get on a lot of women but the girls I played that on were those I really didn;t love and I never entered into a relationship. I had made up my mind that I will become a Priest. Four years ago i fell in love with one of my the girls in our church. Two years ago, I wanted to tell her but being a shy fellow i could not. I nurtured the passion until 2013 before I was able to tell her. there are clear indications that she secretly admires me but she told me plainly that she is occupied. when i give her a text message asking her about how she is fairing, she waits for almost a week before replying. I am a very disciplined fellow who does not want my actions to send any guy like me into emotional torture and I do not also like forcing people to take up decisions. Because of this I do not want to force her in any way to accept my proposal. I am beginning to loose interest in her although I know she loves me. MY ADVICE TO YOU GIRLS IS THAT YOU CAN PLAY HARD TO GET ON BOYS BUT DO NOT LET THEM HAVE THE PERCEPTION THAT YOU AREN;T INTERESTED.

  77. Kate says:

    It’s simple. Women play hard to get in order to weed out guys just looking to use them for sex. It’s more a self-protective measure than anything to do with ego.

  78. Tom says:

    Most women have their guards on, thats in their nature. And honestly I would prefer a woman that backs off or is a bit cautious, withdrawn, calm and a little cold to an overly flirtatous, teasing and sedctive woman that is an “whore” materi

  79. Lucy says:

    So very right: I find it very amusing that you are attacking Natasha when you don’t know the difference between ‘to’ and ‘too’, can’t seem to work out how to use capital letters at the beginning of sentences. When you learn to write properly, perhaps people will read your posts.
    You are clearly bitter. Don’t tar all women with the same brush. Women, just like men, are trying to find the person for them. Not many are lucky enough to find this with the first person they meet. Thankfully, women no longer have to stay at home waiting for men to come and woo them. They can go out looking for themselves, like men do. That does not make them a ‘whore’, strangely enough.
    Times have changed. Suck it up. You need to seriously get over your anger for women, or all these ‘good women’ you’re looking for won’t want you.

  80. NeverWrong says:

    women that have to play very hard to get are such losers in the first place, especially when there are many of us guys that don’t play games and are seriously looking for a good woman to meet and share a life with.

  81. SoVeryRight says:

    To Lucy, i never expected to be cursed at by a woman that i was really attracted to. and this really did happen to me, and i did not do anything wrong for her to curse at me like that. i know other men that were cursed at by a woman that they wanted to meet, and why in the world are women like this today? there are many of us good serious down to earth men out there that are hoping to meet the right woman for us to have a relationship with, and it is just our luck to come across women that are so very mean to us. we are no different than so many very fortunate and and women that were blessed to have met one another and have a family like we would have wanted as well. it is bad enough for many of us men that hate going out all the time, and never can’t find the right woman to connect with. and years ago many women were certainly different than today, and it was much easier meeting women even for me. i was married at one time and she was the one that cheated on me, and i was a very caring and loving husband that was very much committed to her knowing what i had at home and i didn’t have to go out looking for it anymore at the time. i really think that God really forgot about us, and i don’t know why. my aunt and uncle just celebrated their 65th year together, and that just shows you how different the women were back then when they were very committed to their men. and i would say that most men back then were very committed too.

  82. nicole says:

    I agree with Kate. Playing hard to get isn’t just about a game for all women. I’m 23 years old and guys constantly ask for my number and want to take me out. So if I go out with them I see what they are about and if I’m into them I will give them the time of day but I’m not gonna fucking be like a leech fighting for his attention. If he likes me and wants to be with me then he needs to show that he really does, if he doesn’t then fuck him on to the next because obviously hes not worth my time. Men are shady and not easy to trust because most of them truly just want to fuck and most of them lie just to get sex so its hard to really see if they are about more. So no I’m not just going to give a man all my attention right off the bat, that’s how you end up getting hurt. If he shows me hes into me and fights to be with me then hes showing that he truly wants something more with me.

  83. Chris says:

    No woman is going to keep any one of quality around by playing hard to get. I drop them the second I sense it, no matter how much I liked them previously. The only people who would stick around for that are men with no other options – and even they might prefer staying home and playing video games in their mother’s basement.

    To Natasha talking about all of her options – you are a depreciating asset. Women may have more “options” than men in their teens and early twenties, but that does not last (doubtful you even have that many options). Men typically have infinitely more options than women. If you find a guy that is sticking around for hard to get (unlikely), chances are he is seeing someone else at the same time.

  84. thetruth says:


  85. graphicking says:

    Simple fact.
    Both men and women are fed up with “hard to get” recommendations, all over articles.
    If both parties play hard to get. Then no one will call/initiate dates/text first.
    And as a result, there will be no couples.
    End of human species.

  86. wdmh1 says:

    Wow…is this an advice site for women, or a gripe forum for bitter misogynists? Girls, have your say! Cuss if you want – just be open & honest. State your mind! DUDES, if you don’t like it, then go away & send your irate, hateful missives to another site designed especially for you. This site WASN’T. Women have been hushed, punished & prevented from stating their viewpoints for far too long. It’s time we had our turn, and if we can’t do that HERE, where on Earth can we have a say & share our thoughts openly?

    Another point – there seems to be an elephant in the room here that everyone is ignoring: Whatever happened to MUTUAL RESPECT? That’s something that HAS to exist in any relationship if it’s going to have a ghost of a chance of lasting – whether you’re talking about friendship or romance. The issue today seems to be, there is SO little respect to be found, in ANY direction we look. The majority of the comments posted here just serve to underscore that fact.

    Best advice I’ve received is for us gals to remain ladies in front of the guy(s) we like, esp. the more public the forum. Men will like us more when they don’t lump us in (fairly or unfairly, as many are apt to do) with the whores. Best bet (as well as a nice surprise for a very special guy) is to save the nasty stuff for the bedroom (or some other at least semi-private location), once enough trust & respect have developed to head in that direction with another person.

    As Leo Buscaglia said, “The only people who appreciate a doormat are people with dirty feet.” Value yourself, Ladies. If you don’t value yourself, the world has taught most men that they don’t need to value you, either. That’s the true core of the whole “playing hard to get” game. We females are forced to play these artificial games so that a guy will first RESPECT us, because deep down we know there’s no way to win his love w/o winning his respect first. And “Gentlemen”, you only have yourselves to blame if you don’t like the results. Give us other options, if you want other options yourself.

    We girls are trained from an early age to care too much what others think, to be too eager to please. So Girls/Ladies/Women/Chicks, give yourself permission to finally please yourselves, but watch your back the entire time, as well. Be careful: Too many men in this world* claim to “like” women, but actually don’t. I mean, they enjoy women’s bodies. But they’ve never expanded their thought processes or matured in their emotional lives enough to view the opposite sex as much more than walking, talking collections of enjoyable but basically interchangeable body parts. Add to that the media’s influence – teaching our males to diminish women to the point that their sexuality (& whatever label can best be applied to it) becomes the defining characteristic of being female, the ultimate indication of that woman’s value. So very unfortunate, for ALL parties.

    Boys, there are plenty of gorgeous girls who ARE worth your efforts & have hearts of gold, and there are also many who have learned to use their beauty in life to get their way, or had too much handed to them with too little effort, and have become rather spoiled. The same goes for a large percentage of handsome men. There are also beautiful girls who grew up in bad families (with jealous mothers &/or pedophile male relatives) – those women are to be pitied for the suffering their beauty has brought them, NOT envied. What I’m saying is, judging people only by their physical characteristics – positively or negatively – is almost always a mistake. There obviously needs to be some level of attraction in that arena, but there’s SO MUCH more to what makes up a person, and we need to see the big picture to judge accurately. In the end, and only if we’re LUCKY, we all get to look like raisins. What will matter then is the beauty that exists inside of us, in the form of humor, wisdom, tolerance & empathy for others. Not seeing much of that here. Good luck to everyone…and let’s be a little kinder to each other, please?

    * I’m NOT saying all men are like the ones described above, just too many. I’m far from a man-hater – in fact, I love men & have many in my life, in various roles. I’m just firmly in the Girl Corner because I’m loyal to my gender – the only way we get ahead in this world is by having each others’ backs, Gals. 😉

  87. John says:

    I just wanted to point out that just because a guy doesn’t like playing hard to get doesn’t mean he’s a loser. I get why girls do it, to mainly make sure a guy isn’t just using her for sex, though to be honest an alternative is just to hold off before having sex with a guy. A decent guy wanting a relationship with a girl wouldn’t mind actually waiting for sex.

    Another point I want to make is that just because a woman is playing hard to get with a guy or just because a guy is approaching a woman doesn’t mean she’s out of his league, extremely attractive or that he finds her extremely physically beautiful. Yeah he’s probably attracted to her on some level but honestly he could like her personality. I know if I had the choice to go for someone more attractive with an ok personality or someone average looking with an awesome personality then I’d choose the average looking girl in this case. It’s not always about finding the hottest woman out there for guys. Good men are looking for something more compatible. Though I’m not going to lie, looks do come into the equation when just approaching randomly.

    The thing about playing hard to get in my experience is that my current girlfriend started playing hard to get and I call/texted 3 times (I texted because she said she really hates talking on the phone when she doesn’t have to) and she didn’t respond. So I assumed she wasn’t interested and stopped talking to her. I’d rather be safe then to get accused of sexual harassment or stalking or something else. Well two weeks went by and she ended up texting me saying she missed me and wondering what was going on. When I figured out she was playing hard to get I told her not to because I’ll take disinterest as disinterest and leave her alone. I also told her that playing hard to get was a very good way to push me away.

    Yes I haven’t had much experience in dating, mainly because finding a girlfriend wasn’t my main priority and also because when a woman seemed to be obviously showing interest (as agreed to by female friends), it turns out she really wasn’t interested most the time. The women who were interested seemed to show the least amount of interest so playing hard to get on top of this gets confusing.

    Lastly there is the fact that there are a lot of women who are unpleasent to talk to, who are rude and I can say the same for men. Though there are a lot of good women and men out there and ususally the hard part is finding a personality that clicks with yours. I know a lot of good men who also dislike when a woman plays hard to get well really because a woman seems disinterest, so in return they just move on. I also understand that women have lives, hobbies, won’t be all over a guy (or in other words clingy and needs him 24/7) and can be busy and if you consider being bush as a “hard to get” thing (i really don’t count it as hard to get but i know some people do) then sure keep living your life but don’t forget to show a guy interest and make some time for him in your life. If you’re too busy for a guy it probably won’t work out in the end due to clashing schedules.

    Guys just expect a woman to put in a decent effort and show interest. I find being open and honest the best and seriously if you’re worried about a guy using you for sex just hold out on him and make him wait until you’re sure he actually wants a relationship with you (because it had to be said again). If a guy can’t wait for sex then he’s probably better out of your life anyways.

  88. anthony says:

    as a sidenote many men on here who are frustrated,deflated and hurt by the games women play are being labelled bitter,misogynistic or angry….i think its time women took some accountability for their actions/behaviours and played fairer. they’d get a lot more respect for it.

  89. anthony says:

    i think a lot of women giving out about the men on here could take some good advice from it….playing hard to get rarely works,imagine if men were doing that to you you’d be thinking hes not interested …next.a relationship thats starts off being built on deceit probably wont last.if a women is interested in you she will move mountains to see you,thats not to say she shouldnt have her own interests or life.a few years ago this happened to me with a girl playing hard to get,when she seen i was losing interest and by that stage had met someone else she was going crazy.i would have walked to the ends of the earth for her but after that i wouldnt even cross the street for lost for women were different years ago theirs an element of truth in it as my grandmother once told me in my early days of dating “when i was a young lady we looked for honest,loyal,hardworking men…nowadays they look for and rever a fool”!!!

  90. SirPounceAlot says:

    I see nothing wrong with Natasha’s comment on a girl trying different guys to see who the best one is for them…

    All other men who see something wrong with it, ie, suck at your game. If you didn’t you’d know that attitude is one of a very confident and independent women. These women are the ones who are “better” in my opinion, they are classier, more educated and much much more lively.

    Make a guy chase, and guys if you can make them chase GREAT… but yea… I see nothing wrong here.

    (I study and do pickup a lot, some things on this site are soo general, others are quite interesting, hence my reading.)

    Play hard to get, it weeds out men who lack categories which in a sense show they are more or less advanced than other men. Why should a lady who’s “perfect” to men stick to trying 1, and not be able to see who fits her needs for evolution greatest?

  91. SirPounceAlot says:

    If a man is as good as he deems himself to be, he will be able to pass the hurdles of a women’s “hard to get” games if and only if she is worth it to him.

    And YES, the women and men who take the most work to GET, are the BEST. (Scientifically proven the more you work towards a relationship and building one the stronger and more fullfilling it is.)

  92. Count says:

    This article is the most ridiculous I’ve read in a while, playing hard to get is just flat out idiotic. When it happens to me I lose interest very fast most of the time. I am not the person losing anything with a girl who has an attitude like that. Im not here to go all out just for you and dedicate my living just for you yet, I’m in for some love too. And this hard to get crap is what kills real relationships. The smart man will lose his interest and go find someone else, while you’ll most likely be stuck with a man that worships your ass more then your personality. No wonder why many girls complain about their man/halfpassionatemeathunter. You know where i’m going with this. Honestly playing hard to get is some stupid preteen bullshit for girls with serious daddy issues and this article should be deleted for just encouraging that.

  93. Dr Jay says:

    Just STOP PLAYING! Full stop. Men are NOT into dating games or any games of a social nature. We are gossip-dyslexic, we only lie when we feel we will be doing more good than harm. When we don’t call, whatever first answer we give is likely to be genuine. I, like most men, despise the phone, and use it exclusively to exchange necessary information. So, we either really did forget or it just hasn’t crossed our minds, or it’s our way of being nice and “letting you down easy”.

    One reason males prefer our other male friendships (bros before hos) is because other guys will be genuine, forthright and easy-going. They won’t ever play games with me. In fact, I would (and have!) trust a male I’d only known a day with my darkest secrets over a female I’d known for years because he won’t try to use it against me at some point in his life. That is worth so much more.

    And don’t bother recounting some one-off negative experience where you think some guy lied to you to hurt you, because you are either lying to yourself and seeing what you wanna see or he was of the oft-encountered but still rare minority group of sociopaths (at 1-3% of poulation).

  94. Seriously says:

    It is certainly a real shame that we don’t have women like we had years ago that were much better educated than today.

  95. Brian says:

    I have this girl at work that has given me hard to get games for the past few weeks. Her body language suggests she likes me but just won’t escalate things. I finally got sick of it and told her I’m giving you three days to call me or I’m walking and not turning back.

  96. James says:

    This is the most untrue article I have ever read, and it’s the reason a ton of people are single. Guys find a girl who is honest and straight to the point attractive, mature and desirable, if you string him along and play hard to get i guarantee he will lose interest and even if you break and stop the games the relationship wont last. This is coming from a guy. So girls, even tho these games may be fun for you they wont get you a boyfriend. Soon you will get a reputation and no guy will date you, if you are fine with that and don’t mind being single for the rest of your life keep the games going, if not you better change and start being yourself and not like every other chick who cares so much about her social status that she needs to “play hard to get”

  97. Michael says:

    Strangely, I find that the less I chase, or ‘come on’ to a woman, the more they chase me. I like it that way. Anyone who thinks this doesn’t work (With enough to satisfy me) is viewing life through one belief system/ All kinds of moves work on different people. I bet this is deleted!

  98. Mike B says:

    What I have always wanted to know but have never got a straight up, cut the BS answer to is this. How are we supposed to know the difference between playing hard to get and ” No means NO”? If I let a woman know that I am interested in her and she doesn’t respond, I assume that she is not interested in me, I’m wasting my time. I should quit trying and move on. Ladies, you can let a guy know that you are interested in him without appearing to be desperate or easy. Be honest with him and don’t play games. Would you want someone toying with you? No. So don’t toy with us.

  99. mandi says:

    I dont know why alot of men on here are generalizing women. and why they are hating on natasha. She was giving an example, although it may not have been the best example it was clear to me that she was saying that women might be hard to get because they want to make the best choice. There are alot of shitty women as well as shitty men. This is another reason for why both genders might take it slow and that is could be interpretated as playing games. However, the girl may not be sure..she may be trying to protect herself from being hurt because alot of men want sex and sometimes say whatever they think the girl wants to hear to get her in bed then they move on…women want sex too..but we tend to fall in love with the guy after sex…we are more vunerable to getting hurt if the guy is just using us…there are pros and cons for each gender….men are hunters and women are nesters men usually prefer to be the one that pursues women and women like being pursued. But because there are men who say whatever they have to in order to get sex….and alot of men do this and once they get it they are on to the next…this puts women in a position of trying to keep the guy interested but not give in too much too soon so that they are considered to be easy. You men know what goes through your mind if you get a girl easily…you think the girl does this with every guy and she is labeled for it. Women are the smaller animals of the jungle…men are capable of hurting us….so this is a protection method because we feel we have to give the man what they want.. We all cherish something we have to work for….and we all have not appreciated things that were just handed to us easily. Women love a man to pursue her and show her she means enough for him to keep trying…she will break eventually from seeing his efforts…and fall hard for him. While he may try hard and once he gets her he may lose interest. If a girl is playing too hard…then she doesnt want the guy. But if she gives him a little attention but holds back this is normal and should be respected. She isnt doing it to play games…if she shows some interest this means she likes the guy. We are whores if we dont hold back and we are no good bitches if we do hold back….what would you do if you were a women?

  100. Tomatoe face Tony says! says:

    I am just 15 years old of age boy and read some of the immaturitys that “men” have cuz they are lazy coward LOSERS!! Yes the L to my forehead. Most “men” wish to get RESULTS even though they never put in the work. Women are beautiful and you have to be real with them and yes they may be hard to catch up cuz if all the women were lets say EASY, they will end up getting used or go through nightmares (No Not Gaining WEIGHT..not really tho:) ]. My type of girl is stubborn, FUN ,Brave , Confident , Interesting , Intelligent , REAL, and way outta this world and way more but ill have to fight for This girl Even if shes “Hard to get” like many of you unconfident male folks say. Girls regardless of our age (Boyz and Girly girlz) we are all young it depends on YOU even if youre 80 or 116 BUT always try to STAY TRUE Ok… Beautiful Women:)

  101. Nicole says:

    I’m a 20-year-old female in college and can assure you many immature girls love to play hard to get. I’m work and school-oriented and have never had a boyfriend myself (shy ones aren’t approached so much!), but I have a few total babe friends. I know when a girl is playing hard to get, or at least making a conversation with you that she’ll probably forget about in 20 minutes. From a guy’s point-of-view, it’s so difficult to tell, but these observations may help. Some of it may require some digging!

    For one, look at her friends. A woman with smart, sincere friends will probably be smart and sincere herself. A woman (or girl) who is super talkative (but not at good at listening), self-centered, and maybe not-so-smart, will probably be the same way herself.

    Secondly, look at her past relationships if you can. My sincere friends have only had about two relationships at this point, and they all lasted some good time. My less mature friends have had probably about a dozen realtionships (by age 20ish) all of which were short-lived and full of fights.

    Ask one of her friends (if you can trust her enough to open up about your feelings for the person you are interested in). If a guy went up to me and asked about my friend, I would be honest– she’s just messin with you!

    Watch for how she talks, her body language, and what she wears. I’ve noticed the girls who wear nicer clothes, or are at least more materialistic, will also treat guys more like material. I hate to admit that you need to make judgments by appearance, but they do mean something! People who aren’t as focused on impressing others with their looks are usually more genuine.

    Lastly, context is important. Where did you meet her? In a bar? Not the best place to find caring but straightforward women… A good place to meet gold digger though!

    So even though some women out there play games and know it, there are also women out there who aren’t. I think the definition of playing hard to get is skewed.. Some people commenting think it means when a woman is not reciprocating as directly as the guy, even when she is not intending it to be that way. I’ve come across a couple of really great guys, one in particular. At the time, I was experiencing family problems and some intense anxiety, but I didn’t know him well enough to tell him. I didn’t want to scare him away, But at the same time I didn’t want to let him go because I liked him a lot! After about a year and a half, I think he lost interest. He probably thinks I was “playing hard,” but it’s just a misunderstanding. Maybe someday I will contact him again and explain it
    Anyway, there are girls who play and know it, girls who you think are playing but maybe really don’t know it, and then there are girls who are truly not interested in you. On the other side, I’ve seen girls sincerely say they’re not interested to my guy pals. And guys being guys, they keep chasing them, until they realize nothing is going to happen and accuse her of “playing.” But no, this girl was not! Man, SO COMPLICATED! So, if anyone’s reading this, don’t generalize women and men… I’ve seen players and big dummies on both sides. But I’ve also met some amazing people… They are just harder to find! 🙂

  102. Yureon says:

    LMAO “most men like it” Read the comments from men and that will give you a glimpse that WE DONT LIKE IT.

    We don’t want our genuine interest in a woman trivialized by a modified game of red light green light one to three.

    Where as if we don’t pursue we get left out and told we didn’t show interest or when we push fast we are labeled as creepy.

    We are not going to walk your emotional tightrope. Grow up…(and they say women mature faster than men)

  103. Michael says:

    The trick isn’t an absence of capacity or interest in a chase. The trick is not knowing if someone is worth said chase in the first place.

    Men are apparently expected to live by the notion that life is a sellers market for women, they make the rules, and that’s how it is. God help you if you disagree, that automatically means you’re some kind of parents-basement low life for not agreeing.

    I put it to you, however, that were there widespread ways known for testing the female in return to determine HER worth, to give HER that “test drive” listed above that so eloquently compared romance and reproduction to deciding what year model Honda you’re after,then it would be on.

    The absence of the chase and the resentment towards it stems from being expected to ASSUME a woman is worth ANY sacrifice, simply because she’s a woman, and that only MEN need to be screened and studied. Show me ways to screen in return, let me find someone I deem worthy, and you’ll have a chase you’ll never forget.

  104. kris says:

    As a woman i am going to have to agree with that test drive theory. For me, playing hard to get just comes naturally.a man has to give me a reason to want to be seeing him. I don’t do it intentionally!

    However theres a big difference once a man has actually won my heart after a Few dates or whatever it takes.

    What i don’t understand is a situation i am in now, i have been seeing a man and it is just a rollar coaster, We go up and everythings awsome then down. It seems currently he is the one playing hard to get, so i cooled things down and did it back at him and he came back like a little lost puppy and seems like we are back to square one again. Go figure man playing games..

  105. Kasey says:

    The research here shows some interesting results. Yes most men would try harder up to a point if a gal plays hard to get, even though they’ll like her less. Think about that. They’ll want you more, but like you less. What happens you become a game/score, not a real person. If you play this sort of game expect to be no more than another trophy or prize. Now mind you don’t confuse playing hard to get with not being to easy. It’s o.k. to make sure you’re into a good guy and not just chasing an initial attraction. It’s o.k. to look before you leap, but don’t play hard to get on general principles, it’s bad and if spotted by him make you a game player, this kills a guys respect for you.
    Annectedotely I’ve know a couple women who though it was a good idea and went through several flings/unintended one night stands (they thought it was the start of a relationship and the guy bailed after he “won”) with skilled belt notchers while the good ones went on to find someone more serious and/or mature.

  106. Ben says:

    Hard to get is a pointless excercise in tedium. If the woman is even vaguely interested in the man then she should respond accordingly. In flirtatious manners, both sexes should be in little doubt to what to what the other is implying. For flirtation to be sexy, thrilling and progressively enduring, a more direct and honest approach is exceedingly the better and more effective option.

    I do believe however that there is a problem in society for low tolerance of masculinity, and the over empowerment of women in some areas which were previously a man’s domain. I also think that there has been a general change in the way women see men and that relationships and dating, from a female perspective, has been relegated to just a “life’s accessory” becouse of the disappearances and reductions of tradtional male roles.

    Women today are over sexualised and taunted by beautiful imagery, yet reject any advances made to them by men, on the basis that the guy might be looking for what he sees of physical value in her. This seems critically hypocritical, and a tortuous display of “you can see but you can’t touch” type of emboldenment to men, by many women.

  107. Gramaw says:

    There is a difference between PLAYING hard-to-get and BEING hard-to-get. The mature, intelligent woman will be hard to get because she will take her time. She will not rush into a relationship at the first sign of attraction. She will not jump into bed with a man until he is ready for an exclusive relationship. She will evaluate her feelings and make sure that she is not fooling herself or allowing herself to be fooled. And so on.

    On the other hand, a girl who PLAYS hard-to-get is being disrespectful because she is being manipulative. She is more concerned about wrapping a man around her finger than she is about finding true love. Head games are never okay in a relationship. Not ever. And “playing hard-to-get” is a head game. When a man realizes that he is being played, it’s game over. He wins by walking away; she loses by having been dishonest and disrespectful.

  108. Beth E says:

    Be yourself. Period. If they like you, they like you. If not…. Next…
    This applies equally for men and women.
    As for all the guys ranting about ‘how there aren’t any good women in the world’, and ‘I haven’t met any good women’: I respectfully ask you to go back read what you wrote. Your answer as to why you can’t meet any good women is in your own words and attitude. I imagine the same could be said for women who dis men in the same manner.

  109. John says:

    Sorry ladies – but the hard to get routine is just too stupid for words.

    Recently met someone fantastic – we clicked, had a great night, and enjoyed some great calls later. Then, she just simply … starts the whole “sorry, had a lot of work on, couldn’t get back in time”.

    Fine. Initially, this was seriously fine – I’m okay with this, I understand. We all work, we all run out of time.

    Give her another message, she thanks me, really nice. Followed up by a call. We have a great chat again – she ASKS ME to get back in touch with her.

    Then she’s away for a week, which she told me about, that’s all good … only now I’m thinking this was made up crap – read on…

    Call her back, after she’s supposed to have returned. Nothing.

    Message her. Nothing.

    Call her again. Nothing.


    Supposedly intelligent, and due to our conversation, she clearly was – we clicked on every level, finally I thought I’d found someone that didn’t have any inane talk, meaning, she knew a lot about some great subjects, was well read, knew her stuff, and seemed genuinely interested in some seriously good topics. No sport in sight, thank goodness.

    But listen up – there’s a real big difference in playing hard to get and just damn rude.

    If you aren’t interested – some of us are adults around here, and we can live with that. What we don’t want to have to tolerate is stupid mind games.

    Be honest, not childish.

  110. Mike says:

    If there weren’t so many stupid women out there today that don’t play hard to get, just maybe many of us men will be able to meet a decent one for a change.

  111. Bob says:

    As a guy seeing any kind of mind games like this is an instant no go and indicator of the kind of immaturity that occurs in teenage years. Generally have a cut of age of 24-25 for women as most I come across at that age tend to have had some years experiencing life to grow out of that kind of thing. I’m direct and straight up with showing interest or not and I’d expect the same in return.

  112. Callum says:

    Looking at the comments on this thread I have seen a few comments from women saying this is what they have to do to protect themselves as all men want is sex. As a straight honest guy, I am thoroughly sick of this attitude that misogynists and Sex and the City have created. Some men are nice, in fact if you stopped playing stupid mind games, you would probably realise that most men put it on because it’s the only way around this daft “hard to get” game. Sick of women banging on about sexism all the time when men are equally, if not more so, stereotyped.

    If you want to end up with someone who will abuse you, as has already been pointed out, carry on. If you want anything of significance, grow up, have some self esteem, and stop playing these games. The hurt men, women, and society as a whole. Why can’t people just be nice these days?

  113. Callum says:

    I’d like to add that I, and I’m sure many other men, are deeply offended by this article. It’s sexist and based on assumptions.

    Much like this one:

    And 90% of female comedians.

  114. Realist says:

    Yea, this must happen alot. It kinda proves that most women are mental wrecks and totally weak minded. It really is so sad.
    Seems they are very judgmental and VERY easily influenced in a decision that SHOULD come from their heart. And then after 40 they turn very desperate and even more judgmental.

    Which is why I will most likely never marry, and I am just fine with that. And I am sure I will be happier and much more wealthy this way.

    Let us real men stop worrying about falling in love, our effed up American culture has probably ruined this for most.

    May we seek to find our true purpose and unleash our full potential. And you young dumbasses stop having kids you never wanted..

  115. Realist says:

    Your over 40, right? Read John’s comment above.. Who says other women think like you? And be truthful..What makes you LIKE a guy? Ladies can like a guy and have a change of mind by some BS they see on some fake TV show. A fact.
    Money is the most important thing for 90% of women between 25-35 years old. I have seen many of the sweetest ladies destroy their lives picking loser after loser…its disgusting.

  116. Humza says:

    You can’t play hard to get with a guy that is hard to get!!

  117. The only guys who like it when women play hard to get are, one; guys who love the thrill of the chase and two; the guy who is so used to women throwing themselves at them that a woman who plays hard to get intrigues them, the rest of the male population just find it troublesome.

  118. Kay says:

    ALL THIS ARTICLE IS SAYING is that men don’t like women who give themselves over to them on a silver platter. It works both ways, we appreciate the things that we worked for. The article is not encouraging women to ignore or treat men badly, though some women actually do that. There is a right way to play hard to get and a wrong way. It’s not really playing, but it’s just being a good challenge. In the guys perspective, a girl playing hard to get does sound annoying, but most guys don’t like girls who give themselves away to them too easily.

    All girls need to do is: not be desperate or needy, but show interest in the guy they like, and tell guys they don’t like the truth.

  119. Charles Burlington says:

    This is a great comment, clear, logical and succinct. As a former teacher, I would give this an “A”!

  120. juppez says:

    Playing hard to get is manipulation pure and simple, theres no time for bullshit why would you want to court women who manipulate you to action when you can date women who don’t manipulate you into doing things.

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