Do you remember in elementary school giggling with your best friend about who you had a crush on and sending your friend to tell them? Then they would come skipping back with a secret smile and all the juicy information on if they liked you back.
Man, those were the days. It may have seemed like a hard thing to do at the time, but in comparison to telling someone how you feel as an adult, it was like a walk in the park. Am I right? Now, instead of giggles and hushed gossiping with friends, it’s all about anxiety and not telling anyone—especially the person you like.
What makes us want to keep quiet about our feelings?
It seems kind of silly—hiding your feelings of affection toward someone. We’ve been conditioned to hide how we really feel in order to protect our own feelings. Nobody likes rejection. It takes a toll on our self-worth, and it is painful to be rejected!
We’re also a ridiculously anxious species. Our mind fills with a million questions resulting in worst case scenario thinking. What if they don’t like me? What if this ruins our friendship? What if I make a complete fool out of myself? All of these things prevent us from telling someone we like them.
When you know it’s time to spill the beans
Fear, anxiety, and the unknown can only keep your true feelings hostage for so long. There comes a point when you really need to face that special person, let your feelings out, and tell them what’s on your mind.
It will be scary. It will be hard. But it will be rewarding no matter what happens. You may think you can hold onto those feelings, but if you’re experiencing any of the following signs, it’s time to take action and do something about it. You should tell him you like him. [Read: 14 ways to show a guy you like him and still be a tease]
#1 You want to. First and foremost, you have to actually want to tell him you like him. This doesn’t mean you’re jumping with joy at the thought of telling him, because honestly you probably start sweating, your heart starts pumping faster, and your body fills up with anxiety at just the thought of it.
But if you truly feel like you would be happiest if they knew how you really felt, that’s the first sign it’s time to tell them. You might be scared to tell them, but you know you want to.
#2 You sense he might feel the same way. This is a MAJOR sign you should bite the bullet and confess your feelings for him. If you think there is even the slightest chance he might feel the same way, you have to tell him.
Why would you want to waste any more time concealing all those feelings? Take it from Elsa and just let it go! Don’t hold it back anymore! You’ll be glad that you did—and he will too. [Read: 11 signs he really likes you but is too chicken to admit it]
#3 You can’t be around him because of your feelings. Have you ever liked someone so much you couldn’t even be with them because you didn’t know how to act? Because your feelings got the better of you and you couldn’t handle it?
Yeah, I’m sure you have. If this is the case with your new guy, you need to tell him. Not only does it open the opportunity for the two of you to be something, but, even if things don’t go as planned, you got everything off your chest making your life much easier.
#4 He’s in your everyday life. It’s really hard to hide how you feel around someone who is always there. If they’re someone you see on a daily basis and you can’t help but like them, you need to tell them. Odds are, they already know.
They can probably tell by your everyday actions there is something more going on. Plus, if he’s around every day, it might be a solid sign he’s also into you. [Read: Why isn’t he asking you out yet? 17 reasons why he’s holding back]
#5 You can be yourself around him. Even though you might have a mad crush on him and get all squirmy when he comes near you, if you feel like you can really be yourself and you don’t have to hide your personality around him, you should definitely tell him you like him.
This is a rarity—finding someone who you like and can be 100% yourself around isn’t something that happens every day. Take that chance and tell him how you feel.
#6 You know he’ll take you seriously. There’s nothing worse than confessing your deep feelings for someone and having them laugh in your face because they think you’re joking. This has actually happened to me. Mainly because it was a close guy friend.
But you should only tell the person if you know they will take you seriously. If you have any reservations they might think you’re joking or ignore the whole thing completely, wait until the time is right. [Read: The right way to ask a guy out like a classy girl]
#7 Your futures are in sync. There are a lot of people who say you should tell the person you have feelings for that you like them no matter what. Meaning who cares if it won’t work out, go for it! While this can be a good idea, it’s not always the best one.
Some people just don’t make sense. Sure, you can like them, but if you have polar opposite life and future plans, does it really make much sense to pursue it? Make sure you two have similar future plans lined up before jumping right in.
#8 You have support from friends. If he means a lot to you, you have probably already informed all of your friends. And those friends have more than likely told you what they think about you and him—good or bad.
If your friends have given you the green light and think it’s a great idea for you to divulge your feelings for him, get out there and do it! Having support makes it a lot easier and shows the two of you would make a great match. [Read: 9 sneaky ways to use your friends and get a guy to ask you out]
#9 You know him better than most. You should definitely tell him you like him if you know more about him than anyone else. This means you two are close enough to share those important details about your life. And since you know so much about him, you truly like him for him.
#10 You think about him more often than not. If he is clouding your mind all throughout the day and you just can’t seem to not think about him, you should just tell him you like him! When someone is taking up that much of your mind, you need to tell them how you feel because what you feel is too much to go unnoticed.
#11 He’s single. If he’s single, you’re single, and you have feelings for him, you should absolutely let him know how you feel! There’s really no foul play when you both are single and in a good place to be seeing people.
Never tell someone how you feel if they’re in a relationship. It will put hardship on you, them, and their significant other. And you never want to be the cause of any breakups—it never works out.
#12 You feel like if you hold in the truth for another minute you might just explode. Feeling like you can’t keep this secret inside any longer is an important indicator you should be spilling your guts to this person. If you’ve thought about it often and just can’t go another day without—go tell him!
[Read: 15 really sweet ways to tell a guy you like him and win him over]
It’s really hard to tell when you should or should not confess that you have feelings for someone. These 12 tips will help you know when that time has arrived that you should tell him you like him.
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