Is it okay to have sex on the first date? Here are 7 great reasons why it’s totally acceptable to have sex on the first date.
First dates can be strange. If you’re like most people, you’ll be nervous and excited at the same time. You might have met this person once before, or it could be a blind date, internet date, or someone you know through mutual friends.
No matter who they are, it’s not surprising if you feel a bit anxious before you head out to meet them for a first date. First dates usually involve meeting for drinks or dinner, and it’s generally recommended that you don’t get entirely too drunk. But if you do find yourself several large white wines later, getting on like a house on fire, and flirting like there is no tomorrow, you’ll no doubt be wondering what’s going to happen when the date draws to a close.
Now, we are certainly not saying that you SHOULD have sex on a first date. Everyone is different, and some people like to take things slowly. The point is, however, that there is no reason why you shouldn’t if you both want to.
Why it’s okay to have sex on the first date
Sex on a first date doesn’t mean that the other person will judge you, think you are easy, or that just because you do it with them, you must have had sex with loads of different people as well. If it feels right, sex on the first date can be a great thing, and here’s why:
#1 The other person won’t think less of you, and you shouldn’t think less of yourself. Forget those antiquated views where you have to wait a certain amount of dates before you even so much as kiss someone. If you’re both mutually consenting adults, then you should think of sex as a fun activity that is perfectly natural and can bring people closer together.
The problem is that even in our wonderfully contemporary society, we are still consumed with the concern that we’ll be thought less of if we go all the way on a first date. This view is old fashioned, though, and while it’s fair to say that this is mainly a worry that affects women, it can be true for both genders.
The fact is that if the other person is respectful, nice, and intelligent *and why are you having sex with them if they’re not?* then they won’t think any less of you if you both decide that it’s the right time to engage in a little fun. [Read: 5 hateful words we should stop using to describe women]
#2 You’ll make them want you even more. Okay, so we get that making someone wait for sex can lead to an awesome build-up, but having sex on the first date can make the other person want to see you again even more in the opposite way.
Think about it, you’ve just shared an intimate, fun, and pleasurable experience together. You’ve let the other person see you naked and, hopefully, did things to them that brought them some serious sexual satisfaction. So why wouldn’t they want to see you again so you can get busy again as soon as is humanly possible? [Read: Does absence make the heart grow fonder or wander?]
#3 It makes you relax on your second date. If, on your first date, the flirting and chemistry was spot on, then having sex that night means that you can chill out more the next time you meet.
Sexual tension can be fun, but it can also heighten the nervousness, making you do and say things that you don’t mean, or even make you drink too much and blow it because all you can think about is getting down and dirty with the other person.
The longer you leave it, the more pressure you’ll feel, and you’ll start to doubt yourself. If you become emotionally invested before you’ve had sex, you can worry that it will all go seriously downhill when you actually decide to do it. And that kind of anxiety will only make it more likely that your fears will come true. [Read: Second date tips to build the perfect romance]
#4 If it feels right, then it probably is. If you have chemistry with another person, then just go with it. Enforcing these strange rules on yourselves isn’t going to help anyone. You can go on one date or ten, but if the chemistry is there from the get-go, then why wait? [Read: How to create sexual chemistry and make it stay]
#5 Your date probably wants to have sex. Let’s face it, when you go on a date, you are probably already thinking about the possibility of having sex with that person before you even arrive.
The fact is that sex is great. Most people want to have sex—they enjoy it. So instead of making it this strange rule about when it’s acceptable, just listen to each other to decide when is the right time for you both.
#6 You’ll know if you are going to work. We’re all busy people, and while dating can be super fun, the point is that even if you have great conversation, loads in common, and a similar sense of humor, if your chemistry doesn’t translate into the bedroom, do you really see the relationship going anywhere?
Sexual compatibility is seriously important, so the sooner you find out if you have it, the better. If you have a night of wild, passionate, intimate sex that leaves you feeling on top of the world the next day, you know you are onto a winner.
Similarly if you simply don’t connect in the bedroom, then you’ll know right from the start, and you don’t have to waste your precious time pursuing a relationship that simply won’t go anywhere. [Read: Love at first sight – The real truth behind it]
#7 You get to have sex! Sex, at the end of the day, is stress-relieving, fun, and pleasurable. If you like it and you want to do it, and you’re with someone who wants it just as much, then go for it.
Okay, so maybe things won’t work out, and maybe this person won’t turn out to be “the one,” but if you can appreciate sex for what it is, be it a one-night-stand or the start of an amazing relationship, then don’t let outdated views and petty judgments from people hold you back!
If you don’t want to have sex on the first date, then you definitely shouldn’t. And you should never force, coerce, or put pressure on someone to do it if they aren’t sure. The point is, however, that rules and judgments about having sex on the first date are old-fashioned, archaic, and, frankly, pretty ridiculous. [Read: New relationship advice to have a perfect start]
If you like sex, you want to have sex, and you are on a first date with someone who you find attractive and who wants to have sex with you, then just go for it. It just might be the best decision you’ve ever made.
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Bethany was born and raised in Scotland and now resides in Brighton where she lives with her partner and rather disobedient cocker spaniel pup. She works as a f...