The first time is a big deal. It really is. You spend several months or years wondering how first time sex would feel, and when the inevitable moment arrives, you’re obviously going to feel the immense pressure of your first sexual performance weighing on your shoulders. [Read: How to use the five senses of sex to arouse your partner]
The first time you rode a bicycle or drove a car, you weren’t your best at it, were you? You needed time and a bit of practice to perfect it.
And just like that, having sex too takes time and experience to master it.
Before having sex for the first time, most teens watch pornstars doing the deed to learn the moves and assume that’s what lovemaking should look like. But here’s a piece of advice, the sex you watch in porn movies isn’t normal, so don’t compare yourself to that and don’t try to reenact a porn movie in your bedroom the first time you try to have sex.
Do you really have to wait to have sex for the first time?
Everyone says you have to wait for the right person to come along, wait for the right time, and wait for the right frame of mind, to have sex for the first time. But does that really matter?
Actually, it does.
When you have sex for the first time with someone who doesn’t really care about your feelings, they may not care about how you feel just as long as they take your virginity from you. And if you’re not in the right frame of mind, you may get carried away by the lust or even dislike sex for a long time.
First time sex is no different than the first kiss or the first time you dry hump, and every sexual experience is just as magical and passionate. So take your time to enjoy every sexual experience one step at a time, so when it’s time to have sex, you know you’ll be ready. [Read: Dry humping and the virgin’s guide to explosive orgasms]
You can have first time sex only once in your lifetime!
Well, I’m not going to preach here, and I’m sure you’re old enough to think for yourself *and know if you’re ready*. But here are a few things to keep in mind before diving into sexual intercourse.
After all, you can have first time sex just once in your entire lifetime!
If you think you’re ready to have sex, talk about it with your partner. Both of you should feel ready to have sex, and even if one of you isn’t ready just yet, wait a while. Don’t give into pressure or do it because a friend of yours says it’s amazing. First time sex feels perfect only if the two people indulging in it communicate with each other and care about each other. [Read: 50 relationship questions to find out if your lover is truly compatible with you]
If you’re being armtwisted into having sex for the first time, it could leave you feeling emotionally scarred and you may end up remembering it as a bad experience. If your boyfriend says all his friends have had sex and he’ll break up with you if you don’t have sex with him, dump the guy, he’s not worth it.
How to have sex for the first time and enjoy it
Take time to explore each other’s bodies before having sex for the first time. There’s so much to experience and try with different parts of each other’s bodies that there’s really no need to rush into sex if you haven’t done the rest yet. And when both of you feel emotionally ready, well, here’s what you need to do. [Read: 10 fun sex games to play with your boyfriend in bed]
Safety measures before having sex
If both of you are ready to have sex with each other, then there shouldn’t be any awkwardness talking about each other’s sexual history. After all, it’s always better to know where it’s been before you put it inside you!
If you have no idea about how to have sex or about the different positions, you would definitely feel clumsy trying out moves that you’ve seen in the movies.
If you want to enjoy first time sex, stick to the basics and do the missionary. The missionary position is the one where one partner lies on their back, and the other partner lies down on top of them.
Not only is the missionary position easy, it’s also the best position for first time sex because both of you can control the movements of each other. Other positions may make one of you lose control and push harder or more forcefully than necessary. And more importantly, the missionary position ensures that both your faces are close to each other, which builds intimacy too. [Read: Best sex positions – 13 untold sex secrets you really need to know!]
Who’s on top?
While having sex using the missionary position, the person who’s on top is usually in control of the movements. Being on top also takes stamina and effort, and can be more tiring too. So both of you can switch places by rolling over now and then to take control. [Read: How to ride a man in bed and look really sexy doing it]
While the missionary position where one person lies on top of the other is the most comfortable position to have first time sex, you can always use other simple positions that instinctively work for both of you.
10 first time sex tips to make it perfect
First time sex can feel intense, or at other times, really lame and overhyped. If you want to make sure it’s an orgasmic success, use these 10 first time sex tips to master the art of seduction.
#1 Personal hygiene. Sex is an experience of the senses. If you’re having sex for the first time, make sure both of you are clean and trimmed all over. Bad odor has a way of ruining even the perfect setting, so pay particular attention to those places where the sun don’t shine.
#4 Don’t be drunk. You may assume having a couple of drinks would ease the nerves. But it could also leave you drunk. And especially for the guy, having one drink too many may leave him with a limp member in bed.
#5 Relax. It’s alright to feel anxious about the first time. Take it slow, and let your passion and instincts guide the way.
#6 Use your fingers. Before penetrating for the first time, the guy should use a finger or two to play with the girl down there. It helps with lubrication and makes it easier to penetrate. The guy can also go down on the girl for a while to make sure she’s wet and prepared for penetration. [Read: 12 tips to make a guy go down on you and enjoy it]
#7 Follow your instincts. Everyone’s different. Your friend could tell you what works in bed, and it may not work for you or your lover. Follow your instincts. Don’t try to use moves that someone else claims is perfect, just trust your instincts.
#8 If it hurts, try to be gentler. After penetrating for the first time, the guy should avoid moving too aggressively. When the guy enters the girl, just let the penetration sink in until both of you feel comfortable. If it’s painful or uncomfortable, stop moving your pelvis and distract each other by kissing or using your hands.
#10 Keep it simple. Don’t bother with fancy lingerie, seductive songs, or candles. Don’t overcomplicate something that’s meant to be simple, instinctive and natural. Just enjoy the pleasure without adding confusions to it.