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First Time Sex and the Virgin’s Guide to Nailing It!

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If you’re about to have sex for the first time, read our virgin’s guide to first time sex to know everything there is to know about that next big step! By Cheryl James

first time sex

There’s always a first time for everything in life.

And it always helps to know a few rules and a few tips to make sure you enjoy any of your first experiences.

And when it comes to having sex too, it works just the same way.

If you’ve been pondering over how to have sex for the first time, here’s everything you’ll ever need to know.

Use these suggestions and when you’re mentally prepared to have sex, you’ll definitely know everything there is to know about first time sex and the little details to make it more pleasurable.

[Read: 15 real life tips to look a lot sexier when you’re naked!]

The virgin’s guide to first time sex

The first time is a big deal. It really is. You spend several months or years wondering how first time sex would feel, and when the inevitable moment arrives, you’re obviously going to feel the immense pressure of your first sexual performance weighing on your shoulders. [Read: How to use the five senses of sex to arouse your partner]

The first time you rode a bicycle or drove a car, you weren’t your best at it, were you? You needed time and a bit of practice to perfect it.

And just like that, having sex too takes time and experience to master it.

Before having sex for the first time, most teens watch pornstars doing the deed to learn the moves and assume that’s what lovemaking should look like. But here’s a piece of advice, the sex you watch in porn movies isn’t normal, so don’t compare yourself to that and don’t try to reenact a porn movie in your bedroom the first time you try to have sex.

In reality, first time sex is just like the first kiss. It’s instinctive and personal. [Read: 10 sexy tips to turn into a passionate kisser in no time]

Do you really have to wait to have sex for the first time?

Everyone says you have to wait for the right person to come along, wait for the right time, and wait for the right frame of mind, to have sex for the first time. But does that really matter?

Actually, it does.

When you have sex for the first time with someone who doesn’t really care about your feelings, they may not care about how you feel just as long as they take your virginity from you. And if you’re not in the right frame of mind, you may get carried away by the lust or even dislike sex for a long time.

First time sex is no different than the first kiss or the first time you dry hump, and every sexual experience is just as magical and passionate. So take your time to enjoy every sexual experience one step at a time, so when it’s time to have sex, you know you’ll be ready. [Read: Dry humping and the virgin’s guide to explosive orgasms]

You can have first time sex only once in your lifetime!

Well, I’m not going to preach here, and I’m sure you’re old enough to think for yourself *and know if you’re ready*. But here are a few things to keep in mind before diving into sexual intercourse.

After all, you can have first time sex just once in your entire lifetime!

If you think you’re ready to have sex, talk about it with your partner. Both of you should feel ready to have sex, and even if one of you isn’t ready just yet, wait a while. Don’t give into pressure or do it because a friend of yours says it’s amazing. First time sex feels perfect only if the two people indulging in it communicate with each other and care about each other. [Read: 50 relationship questions to find out if your lover is truly compatible with you]

If you’re being armtwisted into having sex for the first time, it could leave you feeling emotionally scarred and you may end up remembering it as a bad experience. If your boyfriend says all his friends have had sex and he’ll break up with you if you don’t have sex with him, dump the guy, he’s not worth it.

How to have sex for the first time and enjoy it

Take time to explore each other’s bodies before having sex for the first time. There’s so much to experience and try with different parts of each other’s bodies that there’s really no need to rush into sex if you haven’t done the rest yet. And when both of you feel emotionally ready, well, here’s what you need to do. [Read: 10 fun sex games to play with your boyfriend in bed]

Safety measures before having sex

If both of you are ready to have sex with each other, then there shouldn’t be any awkwardness talking about each other’s sexual history. After all, it’s always better to know where it’s been before you put it inside you!

And no matter what the circumstances are, always use protection. Being on the pill may protect you from an unexpected pregnancy, but that’s not enough. Make sure the guy uses a condom every time there’s penetration so both of you can feel protected from sexually transmitted diseases. [Read: 5 sexy ways to tease and make out with a guy like a sex goddess before penetration]

The best position to have first time sex

If you have no idea about how to have sex or about the different positions, you would definitely feel clumsy trying out moves that you’ve seen in the movies.

If you want to enjoy first time sex, stick to the basics and do the missionary. The missionary position is the one where one partner lies on their back, and the other partner lies down on top of them.

Not only is the missionary position easy, it’s also the best position for first time sex because both of you can control the movements of each other. Other positions may make one of you lose control and push harder or more forcefully than necessary. And more importantly, the missionary position ensures that both your faces are close to each other, which builds intimacy too. [Read: Best sex positions – 13 untold sex secrets you really need to know!]

Who’s on top?

While having sex using the missionary position, the person who’s on top is usually in control of the movements. Being on top also takes stamina and effort, and can be more tiring too. So both of you can switch places by rolling over now and then to take control. [Read: How to ride a man in bed and look really sexy doing it]

While the missionary position where one person lies on top of the other is the most comfortable position to have first time sex, you can always use other simple positions that instinctively work for both of you.

10 first time sex tips to make it perfect

First time sex can feel intense, or at other times, really lame and overhyped. If you want to make sure it’s an orgasmic success, use these 10 first time sex tips to master the art of seduction.

Firstly, make sure both of you have spent enough time toying with each other before having sex for the first time. The more comfortable both of you are with each other, the more relaxing and long lasting it’ll be. [Read: 30 sexy would-you-rather questions to set the mood for foreplay]

#1 Personal hygiene. Sex is an experience of the senses. If you’re having sex for the first time, make sure both of you are clean and trimmed all over. Bad odor has a way of ruining even the perfect setting, so pay particular attention to those places where the sun don’t shine.

#2 Foreplay matters. Spend a while playing with each other in bed. Penetrating too quickly before she’s wet may hurt the girl. And if the guy penetrates too soon, the overexcitement may cause him to lose his erection. [Read: 10 sexy tips to please your man in bed and everywhere else]

#3 Communicate. Speak to each other as the guy penetrates. Communicating about pain or pleasure is always a good way to understand each other’s likes and dislikes in bed. [Read: 10 things women want in bed to feel sexy and loved while having sex]

#4 Don’t be drunk. You may assume having a couple of drinks would ease the nerves. But it could also leave you drunk. And especially for the guy, having one drink too many may leave him with a limp member in bed.

#5 Relax. It’s alright to feel anxious about the first time. Take it slow, and let your passion and instincts guide the way.

#6 Use your fingers. Before penetrating for the first time, the guy should use a finger or two to play with the girl down there. It helps with lubrication and makes it easier to penetrate. The guy can also go down on the girl for a while to make sure she’s wet and prepared for penetration. [Read: 12 tips to make a guy go down on you and enjoy it]

#7 Follow your instincts. Everyone’s different. Your friend could tell you what works in bed, and it may not work for you or your lover. Follow your instincts. Don’t try to use moves that someone else claims is perfect, just trust your instincts.

#8 If it hurts, try to be gentler. After penetrating for the first time, the guy should avoid moving too aggressively. When the guy enters the girl, just let the penetration sink in until both of you feel comfortable. If it’s painful or uncomfortable, stop moving your pelvis and distract each other by kissing or using your hands.

#9 Privacy and phone calls. This is the first time, so try to avoid all kinds of distractions. Switch off your cell phones. Take it easy, stay focused on each other, and learn each other’s likes and dislikes with each to and fro motion. [Read: 20 ways to make first time sex last longer without any difficulty]

#10 Keep it simple. Don’t bother with fancy lingerie, seductive songs, or candles. Don’t overcomplicate something that’s meant to be simple, instinctive and natural. Just enjoy the pleasure without adding confusions to it.

Just keeping these first-time sex tips and positions in mind will definitely help you explore your sexuality for the first time without any hiccups. Click here to read more about the 22 tips on losing your virginity and having sex for the first time [part two].


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Have your say!
  • Malena
    May 6, 2013 | Permalink |

    Thanks to your guide, i learnt so much. I’m 15 and haven’t had sex yet. but my boyfriend and I, we’ve decided to have sex on my birthday which is in a couple of weeks. We feel we are ready and after reading the article too, I feel the same way. I’ve been terribly nervous about losing my virginity, and we actually wanted to have sex the first time after sneaking in a few drinks so we don’t feel stressed out. thanks to your tips, I know now that that’s not a good idea. this is really good! thank you! xoxo

  • Audrey
    May 16, 2013 | Permalink |

    I’m actually 17 and I didn’t have sex yet, but I have a boyfriend so I’m starting to think about it. Of course, it’s a big decision and I’ll take my time before doing anything (I wanna be 200% sure … But I’m wondering: do I have to start taking the pill before having PROTECTED sex for the first time? Or the protection is good enough?

  • Savannah
    May 20, 2013 | Permalink |

    I’m 16 and my boyfriends 18. My boyfriend and I have been dating for 3 years now and haven’t had intercourse. I gave him head, and he’s eaten me out. We always talk about taking that next step. When do I know if I’m ready?

  • Maddison
    June 3, 2013 | Permalink |

    My first time sex was totally not painful. The days leading up to it, use lots of foreplay, mostly fingering. I promise you this helps A LOT. My boyfriend started with one then worked his way up to three. Not only was it painless, it was enjoyable. When your boyfriend moves to three fingers, there’s a chance you’ll feel pressure and if any pain, it’s very low. Almost like opening your mouth too wide but slightly less. When you’re ready, take it slow! And I made my boyfriend buy Astroglide, my god it works like magic. As for the protected sex before birth control, that is a personal choice. Just be sure to properly apply the condom, use the pull out method as well if you’re still sketched out about it. Sex is a wonderful thing but if you’re a virgin and freaking out, you will tighten up and dry out which will only make things harder for you. Be comfortable with yourself, your boyfriend and what you’re about to do. Hope this helps xoxo

  • Kevin
    December 30, 2013 | Permalink |

    I’m 18 years old male, Really had a horrible first time experience. Had a couple of drinks when me and my girl friend decided to have sex. I used my fingers for few minutes when I was about to insert the condom to make love my penis went numb,I couldn’t even insert the condom properly and unfortunately that destroyed our relationship…any ideas why I went numb??

  • Z
    June 24, 2014 | Permalink |

    I’m 15 and have decided to have sex with my ex boyfriend. We’ve talked about it many times and we decided to get serious about it this summer. He says I’m going to be tight and I am generally confused. I am also very scared. What if it hurts? He said I might not be able to walk the next day. Should I ask for a picture to see what I’m working with? I’ve never been sexually active and I get horny very easily I found out; it happens every time we talk. I need help to make sure I’m not scared anymore.

  • l
    July 24, 2014 | Permalink |

    Me and my boyfriend are planning to have sex. Im a virgin and he’s not.
    I just want to have normal sex not oral. But i’m going to talk to him about it. But I’ve always thought going down and stuff was kinda gross. But Im researching and reading and Im wondering if oral sex is necessary? Like will it make it more easy? And also should i shave down there? I know its awkward but i don’t have any friends to ask. Thanks

  • Jessica
    August 11, 2014 | Permalink |

    My boyfriend and I are both virgins and are planning on having sex. I have always had a fear of men, but I am beyond trusting him. He asked me to marry him and we are going to tell our parents in February. I am 17, he is 16, we plan to get married when I am 19 and he is 18, we want to have sex before we are married, but we can’t go to his house or my house, any ideas of where we could go?

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