Don’t try to have your sex life at the same level of the scenes you see in movies. It’s not real, first of all. What you need to focus on is the sex you’ll have with this new person. You want it, they want it. It should be good then… right? Well, I’m going to give you these tips and rules that you can follow when you’re sleeping with someone new for the first time. These tips help smooth the path and get you having good sex with your new partner in no time.
Sleeping with someone new for the first time
When you have sex with someone new for the first time, it can be hard. Of course, there are moments when you meet someone, and everything just seems to click into place. Other times it’s really awkward and uncomfortable.
I can already think of one or two experiences which I forgot until now—thanks for the reminder. But all jokes aside, I know very well that the first time you sleep with someone isn’t going to be as it is in Hollywood films.
Sex doesn’t have to be intimidating, but the first time can be a rather confusing affair at times!
#1 Relax. I know you’re nervous, trust me, everyone is a little nervous when it comes to sleeping with someone new for the first time. You want to impress them, you want them to enjoy the experience. It’s a normal feeling to have. But if you’re going to be tense and uptight, it’s going to be uncomfortable for both you and your partner. Just take a deep breath and relax. [Read: How to free your mind and relax during sex]
#2 No heavy drinking. Listen to me and listen to me well. Yes, you can have a drink to relax a bit, but having five or six drinks isn’t going to do you justice. When you drink, it affects your sexual performance.
You know in the Hollywood movies when someone drinks too much and then passes out on the chick while having sex. Okay, that is fairly accurate. So, stay away from the alcohol. [Read: Alcohols effects on sex and libido]
#3 Where underwear you feel sexy in. This goes for both men and women. I’m not sure if men have underwear which makes them feel sexy, but whatever, if you have it, wear it. This isn’t necessarily for the person you’re sleeping with, this is about you. If you feel sexy in what you’re in, you’re going to feel more confident, thus relaxing. Remember how I said relaxing is crucial? So, wear your favorite pair of underwear.
#4 Basic hygiene is cool. This is something that never goes out of style. Basic hygiene will take you far in life, trust me. If you want to have good sex, you want to feel and smell fresh. Have a quick shower if you can, dab on some perfume or cologne.
Whatever you can do to get you freshened up, do it. I know in some cases you won’t be able to and that’s okay.
#5 Take care of your genitals. What I mean is, keep it neat and tidy down there. I don’t care if you like to be shaven, unshaven, or waxed, whatever is comfortable for you, do it. But, regardless of how you want to style your hair down there, it’s important to keep it groomed in a way that makes you feel sexy and clean.
#6 Bring protection. Don’t groan at this tip! It’s important, really, it is. I need to stress the importance of protection because it’s really important especially with someone you’re having sex with for the first time. Make sure you bring protection just in case they don’t have it on them. Or else, you’ll have to stop and go to the store and that just is a huge buzzkill. [Read: How to be a condom know-it-all in 5 minutes]
#7 Get to know them. You want to get to know them sexually. So, take all the time in the world to kiss them, make out with them. You can do this with clothes on and then piece by piece, take each article of clothing off. This will drive your partner nuts if they’re horny, but that’s even better. Don’t rush, there’s no need.
#8 Focus on foreplay. If you’re sleeping with someone new for the first time, slow down. This is your first time with this person so you want the experience to last. You don’t have to rush right into having sex, even though I know you want to. Take some time to build up the sexual tension. Make out, grab them, touch them, bite them. I know you can do it, don’t get all nervous on me now! [Read: 17 sexy foreplay moves to get anyone hot and horny]
#9 Go slow. You need to go slow. Okay, you don’t need to, sorry, I’m sounding like a mother, but you should go slow. Why do you need to rush? So many people complain about how sex always happens so fast, so be the one to make it go slow. Just take your time. Enjoy the foreplay, enjoy making out and then as it progresses, go with the flow.
#10 Communicate. If you’re not into what your partner is doing, tell them. I know it sounds weird, but you don’t have to tell them and sound like an asshole. Instead, move their hands to the desired spot, show them what you like, or ask them if they can try something else. It’s the first time, you guys don’t know what the other person is really into.
#11 Don’t compare the sex with past lovers. Really, that’s a bad move. When the sex is over, don’t talk about your exes while cuddling. No one likes being compared to other people’s partners, it’s just a buzzkill and is degrading. It’ll kill the moment. [Read: Queefs, and 19 other embarrassing things that can go wrong while having sex]
#12 Forget what you look like. Listen, when it comes to sex, don’t focus on what you look like. Your partner literally doesn’t care at all what you look like right now. They’re focused on other things. The minute you start caring about your thighs or stomach, you lose yourself and it takes away from the moment. [Read: How to get back your body confidence in the bedroom]
#13 Ease up on the orgasm. Everyone wants to orgasm, and there’s an ego boost associated with getting your partner to orgasm on the first try. But don’t focus on that. The odds are, it’s not going to happen, at least not the first time you sleep with them. Right now, your goal is to connect with them and see what they like. Don’t focus on the big ‘O’.
[Read: First time naked with a lover? The common fears we all experience]
The act of sex can be intimidating. If you’re sleeping with someone new for the first time, the pressure is on to make it mind blowing. But don’t worry, just relax. It’s going to be great.
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