17 Intimate Questions to Ask Your Girlfriend & Know Who She Really Is

intimate questions to ask your girlfriend

The honeymoon phase has been fun, and now you want to know more about your girlfriend. It’s time to learn the intimate questions to ask your girlfriend.

If you really want to take your relationship to a deeper level, learn these intimate questions to ask your girlfriend. Because, when it comes to love, even though we like to think there are shortcuts, there aren’t any.

Sooner or later, all those hard talks and emotions come back and bite you in the ass. Plus, if you have serious feelings for her, it’s best you actually get to know who she is.

Trust me, the honeymoon phase can seriously twist your thoughts about someone. I know it’s a beautiful phase, but you also have to see the person for who they are and not who you think they are. You feel me?

The point is, go one level deeper and start asking her real questions. Intimate questions that will give you a better picture of who she is. [Read: How to make your girlfriend feel loved with the right questions]

Intimate questions to ask your girlfriend

Learning more about her doesn’t have to look like an interview either. You can ask a question here or there, while you’re driving or in bed cuddling. You don’t need to sit down with her at the table and have a serious discussion.

If she feels you’re prying, she’ll close up. This also means that you should open up as well and be honest with her. You probably want to do this, but you’re not sure what questions to ask her. Well, don’t worry, I have you covered. Here are 17 of some of the best intimate questions to ask your girlfriend. It’s time to go deep.

#1 Is there a recent argument we’ve had that you feel is still open? Sometimes we don’t always get the closure we need after we have an argument. This can lead to a build-up of emotion and explosive fights later on. You don’t want this. So, ask her openly if there’s something she wants to get off her chest. It’s time to talk about it. [Read: How to learn to be more vulnerable and open in your relationship]

#2 When you’re stressed, how can I help you relax? Some women need to be alone, others watch movies, and some take bubble baths. Everyone is different, but do you know how your girlfriend handles stress? If so, do you know how you can help her? You probably don’t and this is something you should know.

#3 What are you looking for in our relationship? I know you are dating, but what is she looking for in a relationship? What does she want from her partner and vice versa? There are probably some things that you both need to work on, yet you don’t know what they are. [Read: How to make your girlfriend feel loved and needed] 

#4 How do you best receive love? You may interpret love through hugging and kissing, but she may interpret it through cooking and cleaning. You get what I mean? Not everyone receives and gives love in the same way. You need to find out how she gives and receives love. That way, you’re on the same page.

#5 Where do you see yourself living? Well, you may love the city, but she loves the country side. I know it sounds stupid, but it’s something you need to ask her. If you’re never planning on leaving your town, but she wants to travel the world then you’re going to have a problem taking the relationship to the next level.

#6 When you’re struggling to speak with me about a difficult topic, how can I support you? Talking to your partner when it’s a hard topic isn’t easy and takes a lot of courage. She may not feel completely comfortable talking to you about these things but that means you need to step up. You need to ask her how you can support her during those moments.

#7 What was your dream when you were growing up? Is she living her dream or did it fade away? You can tell a lot by a person in relation to their dreams and if they achieved them or even tried to. Plus, this gives you an opportunity to help her dreams come true. 

#8 How am I as a partner? This is one of those intimate questions to ask your girlfriend that’ll actually improve your intimacy with her. No one wants to hear criticism, but could you be a better partner? Is there something missing? If so, this could be why she may not be opening up to you, for example. Ask this question and expect an answer. [Read: These are the traits to being a good boyfriend]

#9 How do you feel about marriage and children? I know you may be thinking it’s a little soon, but honestly, it’s never too soon *except maybe on the first date*. But really, this is something to ask. If you’re not someone who wants children and she does, then there’s no point in even dating. You’re wasting each other’s time. Get this topic out of the way because it can be a deal breaker.

#10 Why did your last serious relationship end? Yes, I know, it’s the awkward question, but this question will reveal so many things. First of all, you’ll see the type of people she attracts and why. Secondly, you’ll see why they broke up. What happened? Though you’re only hearing it from her side, you’ll be able to put the puzzle together.

#11 How do you feel about our sex life? Well, it’s about time you found out the answer. How does she feel about your sex life? Are you hitting the spot? Would she like to use toys? Have more sex? Less sex? Sex is only a fraction of a relationship, but it’s an important piece of the pie. [Read: 20 racy ways to spice up monogamous sex when it gets boring]

#12 What are you most afraid of? For some people it’s dying, for others it’s heights. Everyone has a fear. If their fear is dying alone, then you need to make sure that they’re with you because they love you and not because they’re trying to fill a void.

#13 Have you ever cheated on a partner? This is an important question and one that may not bring out the answer you were looking for. You want a partner that you can trust, and if they’ve chronically cheated on people in the past, well, it’s not looking good for you.

#14 Are you being who you want to be? This is really a hard and personal question to ask someone. I mean, you’re basically asking them if they’re happy with who they are and if they’ve achieved what they’ve dreamed of. But this also shows you what they think of themselves and how they see themselves.

#15 What kind of parent do you think you’ll be? Usually, we pick and choose our parenting skills from our own parents. Now, you may not even be thinking of having kids, but this question will get to show you how she was raised. She may want to be a “cool” mom because her own parents were very strict. [Read: These are the questions to ask to know if they are the one]

#16 How important is sex for you? Well, you may be highly active, but she may not see sex as something as important. This doesn’t mean you need to cut things off, but it does show you her thoughts of physical intimacy.

#17 Right now, do you need more space or less space from me? Even though being in love is an amazing feeling, we all need our own space from time to time.

Does your girlfriend need more space from you or less? Is she feeling she’s not getting enough intimacy from you or is she feeling slightly suffocated?

This question shows her that you’re not with her to suffocate or ignore her, you want to find a healthy balance.

[Read: 23 things girls wish guys knew about a girl’s mind]

You’re not going to remember all the intimate questions to ask your girlfriend in one go, but you are going to remember the ones that matter to you. So ask away, and the truth will be revealed to you.

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Natasha Ivanovic
Natasha Ivanovic
A serial dater, Natasha Ivanovic knows a thing or two about men and the dating scene. Much of her writing is inspired by her encounters with men - and for good ...
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