You’re really into this girl, but you feel something isn’t quite right. She kisses and hugs you, but you’re not feeling the love. Are you the rebound guy?
I’ve been the rebound girl a couple times. You think they’re into you, but there’s something missing when you’re around them. So, if your gut says something’s not right, follow your instinct. You don’t want to be the rebound guy.
We’ve all been in relationships which broke our hearts and left us feeling like nothing’s going to happen in our lives from here on out. The good news is that it does get better. But right after a break-up, we enter a period of insecurity and sadness.
So, what do people do? They jump into another relationship. I completely understand why. Who wants to feel heartbreak? Who wants to be alone? So, instead, they pick someone out of the crowd they think will be good for them. [Read: 15 rebound relationship signs to watch out for]
14 ways to tell if you’re the rebound guy
Of course, it’s an asshole move to make, but we all make it. We think we need someone else to validate us. In reality, you need to process your feelings without someone new by your side. But, being the rebound guy happens to the best of us.
#1 Though you’re together, there’s a piece missing. People say men aren’t intuitive, but that’s a lie. Everyone is intuitive, you just have to pay attention to those feelings. If you feel that there’s something missing, then there’s something missing. Don’t second guess it, listen to this instinct. [Read: How to start listening to your masculine instincts]
#2 You’re moving fast… too fast. They already told you that they love you, they hold your hand, you’re going to move into together… and you just met two weeks ago. You really like her, so I get it, but isn’t it a little too fast? No? Though it’s moving quickly, you have a feeling that it’s not progressing at the same time. [Read: 10 speedy signs your relationship is moving too fast]
#3 When they talk about their ex, there’s anger. It’s normal to mention your ex in certain conversations. If you’re over your ex, you should be able to talk about them without any resentment. However, if their face turns red with fury, well, they’re still not over their ex. Clearly.
#4 There’s a lot of sex involved. This is probably the only advantage to being a rebound. You’re going to have a lot of sex. They need to forget their partner. And they try to do that through sex. They want to feel a connection, however, they’re emotionally not capable.
#5 They focus on making their ex jealous. They take selfies with you or post romantic statutes not because they actually feel that way but because they want to make their ex jealous. Of course, they follow them on Facebook, how else would they creep them? They also know their ex sees their posts, and what better way to make someone jealous than to post a photo of them kissing someone else.
#6 They were freshly single before meeting you. If you ask them about their dating history, they mention they were in a relationship and they broke up, but next, ask them when that happened. My guess is that it’s pretty fresh, a couple weeks or a month or two. If they’re freshly single, it’s not enough time to process emotions and feelings. When I was dumped, it took me a solid year to get over it. [Read: How to get away from a toxic lover]
#7 Generally, they seem lost in life. Basically, they don’t know who they are or what they want. It’s almost as if they’re only able to identify themselves as who they were. And now, they seem to be floating without really any understanding of themselves.
And listen, they’re not trying to learn about themselves, that’s why they rebounded. They don’t want to feel pain, they don’t want to grow. They just want to be comfortable.
#8 Their break-up came as a surprise. If you know your relationship is going to end, you grieve and mourn the end of the relationship, and you need less recovery time. But, if your relationship suddenly ended out of nowhere, you’re shocked. This leaves someone in a bigger state of sadness and constant analyzation. And if they just ended their relationship last week, well, you know straight away they’re not over their ex.
#9 She’s creeping them on social media. Out of the corner of your eye, you see her creeping her ex’s Facebook or Instagram. Trust me, she’s not doing it because suddenly she wonders how he is and if he’s happy. Nah, come on. She wants to know what he’s doing and who he’s with. Why? Because she’s not over him. [Read: 14 subtle signs your girlfriend is not over her ex]
#10 You actually don’t have anything in common. Aside from the copious amounts of sex you have, you don’t actually have anything in common. In addition, you don’t really do things that involve deep conversations. Sex is great and I highly recommend it, but, if they were over their ex, they wouldn’t have a problem opening up to you.
#11 They bring up their ex… a lot. They tell you they’re over their ex, but are they really? Because they bring them up in conversation whenever they get the chance. If their ex was completely out of their head, well, they wouldn’t speak about them.
#12 She wants to commit but she doesn’t. She wants you to be with her but she doesn’t want to be in a committed relationship with you or make it Facebook official. Though you two spend a lot of time together, her need to commit to you is non-existent. This is because she doesn’t actually want to be with you.
#13 You’re way better than her ex. Like, waaaay better than her ex. You know how I know that? Because she’s been telling you this every day since the first day she met you. Everything you do is better than her ex. Her ex would never pay for dinner, but see, you do and that’s why she likes you. She’s also not over him… if you get my hint. [Read: Love triangles and the confusing complications it can bring]
#14 You feel as though you were picked out of a line-up. I know you probably thought it would be a good thing to be the first guy she’s dated after a break-up but not necessarily. In reality, it’s probably better if you were the second or third guy she dated after the break-up. You’re the first guy she laid eyes on and that’s now who she’s with. It’s a horrible feeling being a rebound guy. In fact, if you feel this in any amount, run!