You like a girl but you’re lost for words whenever she’s around. Never fear! You simply need to know what to say to a girl you like to strike up a chat.
When it comes to girls, they’re not as complicated as you like to think they are. For sure, girls are not simple, but you don’t have to do or say anything crazy to get their attention. The things to say to a girl you like are pretty simple. And most importantly, when you’re talking to a girl you like, you don’t have pretend to be someone you’re not.
Being you attracts the right girl, anyway. And more importantly, you do not have to make a big grand gesture. Girls like guys who are honest, confident, and open-minded. Are you one of them?
[Read: What do girls like in a guy? 30 traits that make a guy a real catch]
Why the things you say to a girl matter
What you say to a girl matters, especially when you have feelings for her. Some girls like the feeling of being complimented, while others feel awkward or uncomfortable.
It really depends on how you say things, regardless of what it is. This is also the reason why the phrase “think before you speak” applies to everything.
You don’t want to get ignored by the girl you like, do you? No worries! We’ve got you. [Read: How to talk to a girl – 20 secrets that make you irresistible to women]
The importance of the first conversation
If you’re having a conversation with her for the first time, you need to play it safe and easy. Many guys turn on their charm and flirt outrageously within a few seconds, but unless the girl’s easy to get and is only looking for a fling thing, you can’t really make a serious impression by trying that move.
This is one of the most common mistakes that guys make when thinking of what to say to a girl they like. The thing is, you really can’t impress a girl with aggressiveness and arrogance as those aspects are a turn-off, especially if she doesn’t know you yet.
All she’s going to see is an overconfident and cocky player *which isn’t attractive*.
The first thing you have to do is get friendly with her. Try to get to know her better and make her feel comfortable around you. Don’t make it obvious that you’re trying to flirt with her by asking her out immediately or by trying to hit on her.
The guide to having a perfect conversation with the girl you like
If you’re wondering what to say to a girl you like, just use these simple cues and the girl will warm up to you in no time.
1. Ask her about herself
Casually ask her what she does, where she works, or where she’s studying. It’s a frequent question that she’s used to hearing.
We all love getting asked questions about us as it shows that you’re really interested and not just pretending to be.
So if you want to know what to say to a girl you like, ask her questions and be fascinated by her answers. Responding with something like, “wow, that sounds really interesting… tell me more…” can help her open up. [Read: Questions to ask a girl to get to know her better – 35 ways to her heart]
2. Make a connection
When you ask her about herself, did you find something similar about both of you? If she says she likes to paint, pretend like you’re impressed and tell her that you’ve always wanted to paint, but the last time you tried meddling with colors, all you did was tip a palette of paints on your neighbor’s clothes!
You might make her laugh with this comment and impress her simultaneously. But the best thing is still finding common ground where you don’t have to pretend to like something just because she enjoys it. You know what they say; being yourself is the best advice to impress the girl you like.
Even if you potentially impress her at first by pretending to like something she does, it’s not the best approach as she’ll find out eventually you were just pretending. [Read: What to talk about with a girl you like – 48 topics to make an instant connection]
3. Tell her about yourself
In the first few minutes of the conversation, she may not be very interested in getting to know you better. But by building a connection and making her like you by being funny or genuinely interested in her, and then telling her something about yourself, she’ll pay attention to what you have to say.
Telling her about yourself allows her to open up as when she sees that you opened up first, she’ll usually follow your lead.
Also, a conversation is a mutual exchange of communication with someone, so you can’t impress her by letting her do all the opening up. You have to be willing to be vulnerable, too! [Read: What does it mean to be vulnerable? 13 ways you can open up more]
4. Appreciate her company
Tell her something friendly and yet, flattering. “I’m glad I met you here, I was getting so bored of just standing here with all the wrong people until you came along.” You’re not hitting on her, and yet, somehow, you’re complimenting her for the great company she is.
It might sound cheesy, but it can either make her laugh or assure her that you’re enjoying her company that much. Knowing what to say to a girl you like is all about making her feel like you appreciate her presence and overall company.
5. Talk about the place
Look around in the middle of the conversation and say something about the place or someone around you. If you’re meeting at a friend’s party, ask her how she knows the host. If you’re meeting at a coffee shop, ask her for a suggestion on the type of coffee she likes around there.
Make her feel special and important, and she’ll love you for it! Plus, it makes for a great conversation starter rather than the typical ‘how are you?’ starters. [Read: 50 fun and casual but important questions to ask a girl you just met]
6. Compliment her
The best advice on what to say to a girl you like is to compliment her genuinely and sincerely. If you want a girl to like you, you need to get out of her friend zone.
As soon as she starts warming up to you, let her know that you don’t consider her a friend. Let her know that you’re interested in dating her.
Bring out your charm and flirt with her subtly. It’s crucial that you don’t end up in the friend zone, no matter what. That is if you really want to date her. [Read: How to compliment a girl you like – 15 must-know tips and 35 of the best lines]
7. Make her laugh
You can never go wrong with making her laugh. If anything, showing her your sense of humor will give her a powerful first impression. Having a sense of humor also hides the fact that you’re nervous and shy about talking to her.
You’ll be surprised how having a sense of humor works great as a conversation starter. Also, girls love funny guys, so there’s a massive chance she’ll love talking to you if you manage to make her laugh. [Read: How to make a girl laugh, smile and like you instantly]
8. Take the initiative
If you really want to talk to the girl you like, you will have to learn to take the initiative throughout the conversation. So if you find the conversation is getting a little bit dull, pour some life into it by sharing a personal experience in your life.
Feel free to share your own stories to give her a sense that you really want to keep the conversation going.
9. Get her number
You don’t want to end the conversation without getting her number first, so in deciding what to say to a girl you like, get her number once you get the chance to do so.
This allows you to continue the conversation and get to know one another better over text, where you can keep developing your connection and intimacy. Of course, don’t just ask for her number right away, but do it with style and at the perfect timing. [Read: 23 smooth ways to get a girl’s number every single time and awe her too]
10. Be a cheerful guy
Girls feel comfortable around a guy with a cheerful attitude and a pleasant smile. While the surly bad boy who sits in the corner may attract a few girls, a great girl won’t wait forever for anyone.
Great girls won’t notice you if you have a temperamental and pessimistic personality, so if you want to impress the girl you like, have a cheerful outlook on life!
The happier you are, the more likely she’ll be drawn to you. After all, who wants someone who just ends up ruining the mood with their negativity? [Read: How to be more positive and increase the quality of your life]
11. Don’t overdo it
Blend your compliments with serious talk. Don’t push your flirty talk too far all the time. Instead, play it cool and always make her wonder if you’ve got something on your mind.
Flirting will undoubtedly get you out of the friend zone, but you can’t be too aggressive with your flirting either.
In deciding what to say to a girl you like, don’t try too hard as she’ll likely sense this and be pushed away. Bring out your natural charm and just leave it at that. [Read: How to avoid a girl’s friend zone from the start and build sexual chemistry instead]
12. Lose yourself in her eyes
Stare deeply into her eyes and stretch your lips into a small smile while listening to her. You’ll seem like you’re in awe of her, and that’s a good thing if you’re trying to woo her.
Let her know you’re mesmerized by her. Also, how flattering is it when someone who likes you stares deeply into your eyes?
Eye contact is one of the most intimate things you can provide her with, and losing yourself in her eyes will definitely capture her attention. [Read: Prolonged eye contact when flirting – What it means and how to do it right]
13. Remind yourself how much you like her
Think ‘I want you’ when she’s talking to you. Just tell yourself how much you like her *or want to kiss her* in your mind. Your subconscious will translate it into your expressions and behavior, and she’ll get your vibes and know what’s on your mind.
And the best part, she’ll wonder if you’re genuinely interested in her because you haven’t told her anything about your affections just yet. [Read: How to make a girl like you without ever asking her out]
14. Talk to girls more often
We know you’re probably thinking about why you should talk to girls when you’re only interested in one girl. However, if you’re not used to talking to girls much, then you’ll be extremely awkward and shy the first time you talk to her.
If this is a girl you really like, then you might end up stuttering or making a mess out of your words. So if you want to practice what to say to a girl you like *and say the right thing*, then talk to other girls first. This is how you’ll develop confidence over time. [Read: How to keep a conversation going with any girl and make her brighten up]
15. Stay true to yourself
If you’re having difficulty figuring out what to say to a girl you like, stay true to who you are. It’s the most exhausting thing to pretend to be someone you’re not just to impress your crush.
If she doesn’t like you for who you really are, then she’s not right for you – simple as that. It’s a much better approach than pretending throughout the course of knowing one another. Eventually, the person you are will slip through the cracks.
16. Show your warm personality
Talking to the girl you like is all about having a warm personality. She won’t be inclined to talk to you if you’re not approachable and friendly from the looks of your face. So smile, don’t dress too formally, and don’t cross your arms in front of you.
Sometimes, it’s really all about the vibe you’re giving off and your body language to let her know that you’d be more than willing to converse if she does approach you. [Read: How to talk to people in a charming way no matter who they are]
Things to say to a girl you like
Now for some practical suggestions! While you may get tongue-tied around a girl you like, knowing some things to say ahead of time is great.
Now, don’t just say these things out of the blue. You have to know how to read a situation and when something is appropriate. For instance, don’t tell her she is beautiful if she is talking about her cat’s UTI.
It may take some practice to learn how to ease these things into a conversation smoothly. But you can do it.
Girls will appreciate the effort you’re making to learn what things to say to a girl you like. Up next, you’ll learn how to make the girl you like get comfortable around you. Have fun!
1. You’re beautiful
But give specifics and don’t make this the focus. It is always lovely to hear. However, girls want to know their looks aren’t the only reason you’re interested in them.
Is she also beautiful when her hair is all tied up? Do you find her independence and courage very attractive? Be specific! If you want to know the things to say to a girl you like, call her beautiful *she’ll love hearing this*. [Read: How to talk to a shy girl – 21 ways to make her comfortable and open up]
2. You’re smart
All women are wise in their own way. Some have intense common sense, and others are scientific geniuses. Telling a woman you admire her mind and how it works means more than any physical compliment.
If you have figured out what makes her the biggest geek in class or at work, maybe you can ask her to play chess with you sometime. This will help you form bonds with the girl you like, as well.
3. I love how opinionated you are
Seeing as so many men hate when women have opinions, complimenting her on her strength and convictions will mean a lot to her. She will take notice and appreciate that you like her ability to speak up on topics she is passionate about.
Ask her thoughts about life and love or government-related issues. You’ll be surprised to hear her answers and be able to see if you have anything in common. [Read: 43 intellectual questions and cues to start smart talk with anyone]
4. You’re right
No, girls are not always right. When we are, admitting it will get you a long way. A lot of guys have difficulty accepting their mistakes or oversights.
So if you realized that the girl you like was right about something, even as small as who played a character on a TV show, let her know you realize she was right.
When she is trying to prove her point about something, it’s only best to agree with her. Remember that listening and sympathizing with her makes your connection pure and less unattached. [Read: How to treat a woman right – 21 ways to make her want to stay with you]
5. I’m sorry
This is another one that is hard for many guys. Saying sorry will undoubtedly get a girl’s attention. Apologizing for something as small as spilling your water to admitting you made a legitimate mistake is a big step.
Girls will see that. Accepting the fault for something is a vital asset, and girls love to hear that you are capable of apologizing for a mistake you made.
For some guys, saying sorry is hard because they think it crushes their pride. Those aren’t true men but are boys. Be a man in front of the girl you like. Saying sorry will never go out of style when coming up with things to say to a girl you like. [Read: 17 aww-so-sweet ways to genuinely say you’re sorry]
6. I never thought about it like that
It shows an openness to learn more and actually hear her out when you say this to the girl you like. This also indicates that you’re curious or itching to know more about the topic.
Some girls, too, may feel more confident and comfortable around you since they’re positive that you’re not the guy who knows it all.
7. I’m here for you
You would be surprised how much these four words can mean, especially when you live up to them. Whether she needs someone to vent to about work or her family just telling her you are there will mean a lot to her. This doesn’t only work for girls you like.
Hearing these four words could go a mile and save thousands of friendships. However, you don’t have to be there for them literally. Calling them over the phone or talking via video call is already a significant effort. [Read: What do girls like to hear? 15 things she’s dying for you to say]
8. I don’t understand. Can you explain it to me?
Ah, a guy that wants to learn and asks a girl for help is so attractive. Yes, we all like a confident guy, but the most confident thing you can do is learn more about what you don’t understand. Having a weakness or imperfections actually makes you perfect as it proves that you’re only human.
Don’t be afraid of not being the know-it-all guy in front of the girl you like. So whether you ask her to explain the wage gap, the #MeToo movement, or how tampons work, being open-minded and asking for her to explain it will surely catch her attention!
9. Remember when…
Pinpoint a moment you spent together before. Whether it was last week, last month, or last year, bringing up good times you’ve spent together will remind her of not just the moment but also that you took notice and made a point to remember too.
This could light up your moment and turn a girl on. We bet some of you guys don’t know that.
10. How can I help?
Offering and asking to help with a heavy box or with planning an event is sweet. Instead of saying “let me help” or “I’ll do this,” which can feel a touch patronizing, asking what you can do gives her a chance to see what would actually be helpful.
Avoid going over the tasks she can handle very well. Honestly, some girls don’t feel comfortable working with a guy, especially if it’s not that big of a deal. If such a case arises, however, it’s best to ask how you can help. [Read: How to treat your girlfriend like a queen and wow her every day]
11. That sucks
Yep, sometimes that is all we need to hear. If we complain about a tough day at work, a stressful time, or even traffic, there really isn’t anything we can do. So instead of throwing ideas out left and right, just agree that it sucks.
Then, be there to sulk with us. Women love being with someone who can relate to them if you’re coming up with things to say to a girl you like. [Read: 23 things girls wish guys knew about a girl’s mind]
12. I love how funny you are
Just the same as we love a guy who makes us laugh, we want to know we make you laugh too. Humor is such a big part of a romantic bond.
Knowing you get her humor is essential. So if you get the need to take your relationship to the next level, just add humor every day but still keep it moderate. [Read: 25 funny things to text a girl & win her heart with your funny bone]
13. What do you think about…
One great thing to say to a girl you like is that you want to hear her opinion on something. Anything from a recipe to politics is fair game.
Before you ask her to go to the movies, ask her what genre she prefers the most. She will appreciate you asking her opinion because it shows you actually care what it is.
14. It’s your choice
Guys don’t mean to tell the girl they like that she can always choose what to eat or what movie to watch. But if she asks you if she should cut her hair short or if you like that she has been working out more, tell her it is her choice, and you want her for more than that.
Yes, we appreciate you telling us if we look better in orange or pink, but overall telling us you like us no matter how much makeup we wear, how our hair is styled, and what we wear means the most.
15. Thank you
Appreciation goes a long way when coming up with things to say to a girl you like. Whether big or small, appreciate their efforts. Just saying thank you can mean so much.
Whether she got up to get you water or picked you up from the airport, say thank you. It’s just polite. [Read: How to show your appreciation to someone]
16. I want you to be comfortable
Yes, this is a biggie for this time in history, but really should always be a priority.
You may think you are a nice guy and that this is a give-in without you saying it, but just letting the girl you like know you want her to feel safe and comfortable can really take you far.
This may not sound like that big of a deal like the rest of this list. However, it’s a big one for the girl you like! [Read: How to comfort a girl – 15 thoughtful ways to do it right]
17. You have a great laugh
Complimenting her looks and mind are classics, but complimenting the little things that maybe only you notice because you like her really sticks out. Compliment her on how she laughs, how she always smiles at babies, or even how she snorts when she laughs.
Most men find a girl’s laugh music to their ears. Remember when we talk about humor? Time to drop your funny jokes so you can listen to her laughs all day. It’s a win-win for both of you, don’t you think? [Read: How to date a girl by making her laugh out loud!]
18. You make me happy
Guys are not the best at sharing their feelings; a lot of girls aren’t either. But letting her know how she makes you feel will open her eyes.
Letting her know you love spending time together or that time flies when you hang out is a great start. Not only does it make her heart skip a beat, but you also tend to forget your worries when you’re with her.
19. I like you
If you are out of ideas or just don’t know how to work any of these ideas into a conversation, just straight out tell her that you like her. Yes, even girls can be oblivious to this. Yes, you may have given all the signs, but we aren’t perfect.
So tell her. Telling this to a girl you like may impact her in any way. So you should consider how deep your relationship with her is first. This is to avoid discomfort, too. [Read: How to tell a girl you like her without seeming like a creep]
20. Nothing
That’s right. Sometimes what you need to do is say nothing. This is not about being the strong silent type. It is about knowing when just to listen.
Girls can be chatty at times, and they need someone who can lend them ears or a shoulder. Be that guy if you want to come up with the perfect things to say to a girl you like.
21. I can’t stop thinking about you
Admit it; you’ve said this a million times already. Yes, it’s true. When you like someone, you just can’t help but think of them, what they’re doing at the moment, or who they’re with.
Telling this to a girl you like may give you a high chance of her liking you back.
22. Sorry if I hurt your feelings
A lot of girls are fragile and can be very emotional. As guys, you have to be sensitive and considerate of what’s going on around you.
Girls may not say a word when they’re hurt, but try to acknowledge your mistakes by saying sorry. [Read: How to apologize and say sorry to a lover]
23. I really enjoyed the time we spent together today
If the girl you like is in the same workplace or neighborhood as you, it’s great to share this thought with her. It could also make her feel that she’s fun to be with.
When you get the chance to meet her again, try new things and bring out the best in you. [Read: How much time should couples spend together? The answers you need]
24. Will you share some of your beautiful memories with me?
Not that you’re a detective of their past, but it’s refreshing to hear gold memories, especially if it’s from the person you like.
Ask her any specific event in her life that made her the person she is today or how many times did she fall off her bike before she became an expert at it. [Read: How to make a girl fall in love with you: 20 steps to win her heart]
25. How are you today?
This is a simple and natural question yet goes a long way. You would want to make her feel that you care about how her day went. Ask her if any unusual events happened. [Read: How girls flirt – 15 signs she’s being more than just nice to you]
Things NOT to say to a girl you like
Just as there are some great things to say to a girl you like, there are many things not to say! If you want to get a girl to like you, avoid saying these things!
1. Anything that starts with “no offense, but…”
Guys, please don’t ever start with this. Not just for girls, many people don’t like hearing this because what follows “no offense” is usually condescension, negative opinions, or magnanimous criticism!
If you have to debate on something, you can change it to, “Can I say something you may not be uncomfortable to hear? If not, it’s alright.” [Read: 21 things a man should never say to his woman]
2. Are you on your period?
When girls hear this from ANYONE, prepare your ears for a ringing silence or a cold shoulder.
Maybe you had to ask this because of two things: either she is showing signs of menstrual cramps, or she’s not in a good mood.
But really, why would she like it if you associate her mood or behavior with her hormones? [Read: 20 things you should NEVER say to girls on their period]
3. You’re wearing too much makeup or not enough makeup
So what if a girl is wearing too much makeup? If wearing makeup makes a girl prettier or more confident about herself, let her be! The same goes, as well, for girls who don’t wear too much makeup.
Keep your thoughts to yourself and just let the girl you like be herself. This is the opposite of what you should say when thinking of the things to say to a girl you like.
4. You’re not like other girls
When guys say this, what exactly do you mean? This statement can be confusing, to be honest.
It sounds like you’re trying to flatter them by calling them “different.” And at the same time, it’s a backhanded compliment that puts down all women. How is that flattering in any way?
Not to mention, it’s a highly stereotypical thing to say to a girl. [Read: What’s a misogynist? 22 early warning red flags that reveal a disrespectful sexist man]
5. You should eat more/less
Women are judged for their weight, face, ass, job, and now they have to be judged for their appetite as well?
Many girls feel like they’re too skinny or fat and don’t meet the beauty standard of society already. If you’re going to make a girl like you, you should first learn to accept whatever body shape she has, and her appetite as well!
6. You’d be perfect if…
Let’s stop right there. First of all, her idea of perfection doesn’t depend on your ideals and expectations. If you want a girl to like you, putting her down or negging her by telling her how should change herself to fit the mold of your ideal woman is just a huge turn off.
If you like her, or want her to like you back, say something, but not how you want her to change so she can please you better! [Read: How to feel more confident in your body and all in love with you]
7. I’m not a feminist
Oops! Sorry, but this is already a big red flag. Don’t try to pursue a girl you like if you don’t support equality between genders. Both men and women are equal when it comes to political, social, and economic rights. [Read: Misconceptions about dating a feminist all men must know]
8. Women complain too much
Why would you say this ever? This stereotype is offensive, and was probably made up by men who expected women to spend all day at home and wait for the man to bring home the bacon, with a smile plastered on their face.
If something’s not right, a woman has every right to speak out about it. So if she tells you off or criticises you, chances are, she’s not “complaining”, she’s just not happy about something. Instead of whining about it, learn to be a better man in her company instead.
9. It was just a joke / you take everything so seriously
Before you share a joke with a girl you like, try to say it out loud in front of your friends first. If they laugh and no one from the group *including women* feels offended about it, it’s a go!
Sometimes, guys just say and do anything they please without a filter in their mouth. Please be sensitive at all times! [Read: 10 deadly phrases you must never say to your girlfriend]
10. Calm down
Unless they ask for advice, keep your opinions to yourself. Girls can be dramatic and hard to read sometimes, but that’s only natural. In fact, it happens to everyone, including guys. Whenever you feel like she’s in a hot pot or uneasy, be there for her in silence. That’s it!
Now you know what to say to a girl you like, what are you going to do about it?
The most important thing to remember when you see a girl you like is that she’s a human being, just like you! You might have put her on a pedestal but how do you know that she’s not hanging around, waiting for you to make the first move because she’s too scared to do it herself?
It’s possible!
Use these hints and tips, be yourself, and get chatting!
[Read: Inspiring male feminist ideas from men around the world]
Still wondering what to say to a girl you like? Just follow these cues, and you should be fine. You never know, this could be your chance to develop something real with your crush!