Okay, so before you start changing your dating status to “no strings attached,” how about we first come to a consensus about what “no strings attached” *NSA sex for the uninitiated* really stands for.
Though it may seem obvious by the phrase, NSA relationships are when two people agree to have sex without having expectations of one another. When I mean no expectations, I really mean no expectations.
Don’t expect them to take you out for dinner, to surprise you with flowers, to have any deep conversations – this is strictly about sex.
How to have NSA sex *no strings attached*
So, you think you’re able to withstand NSA sex? Maybe you are. But read on for some helpful tips that you need to pay close attention to before you go throwing commitment to the wind.
#1 Do not do it with someone you like. This is the most important rule – you cannot have an NSA sex with someone you’re interested in. I’m sure you think you’re going to be able to handle it. Sure, sure. But you’re not.
Honestly, it’s a bad idea. This isn’t some scene from a romantic comedy. They’re not going to suddenly fall in love with you and decide they want to be with you.
They chose you because you’re wanting an NSA sex too, and that’s all they want. That’s it. So, stay away from your crush. [Read: Casual sex – how to find the hookup of your dreams]
#2 Are you truly ready? You need to really think about this. Is this something you want to do right now? Is it the right time? There’s nothing wrong with NSA sex, however, you have to accept that it’s not including any emotional attachment of any kind.
If you think you want someone you can cuddle with at the end of the day, then you shouldn’t go into an NSA relationship because you won’t be getting that. So, look at what you need and then decide if this is the right thing for you. [Read: How to have an NSA relationship – The step by step guide]
#3 Make the boundaries clear. Sit down with your possible NSA sex partner and agree on the boundaries that you two need to make. You may be thinking that you don’t need to make some guidelines and that they’ll understand.
However, it’s not going to happen. So, make clear boundaries that you and your partner are going to follow.
#4 Don’t do it if you don’t want to. If this is something you feel you have to try out, well, don’t feel so pressured. This is a type of relationship, and like any other, some like this and others realize it isn’t for them. Do what you feel is right to YOU, and not what’s trending in Hollywood.
#5 Have no expectations. Yeah, keep those expectations low. Actually, keep them virtually non-existent. All you can expect is for them to show up to have sex. Other than that, don’t expect to get treated for dinner or for them to cuddle up and watch a movie with you.
Don’t expect anything. If you do, you’ll only be open for disappointment which is exactly what NSA sex relationships avoid – emotions. [Read: The worst people you can have a one night stand with]
#6 Understand that they aren’t your friend. Your NSA sex partner is not a friend. If they were, it would be a friends-with-benefit relationship, and well, this isn’t that either. When your NSA relationship ends, you won’t be hanging out. They’re not the person you call when you need help. See? Not a friend.
#7 Don’t send mixed signals. There’s nothing wrong with flirting with your NSA partner. That’s a part of foreplay and sexual intercourse. However, don’t try to hold their hand in public or text them, asking them if they want to see a movie.
Remember, this isn’t an actual relationship, you’re in it just for the sex. So, there shouldn’t be any mixed signals, because you’re not supposed to invest any emotions into it. [Read: 14 things you have to teach your newbie NSA partner]
#8 Don’t squash your other options. This is an NSA relationship, so, that means you can date other people. Actually, I recommend that you do so. Don’t feel that you have to put your dating life on hold because you’re having NSA sex.
In fact, I would see an NSA relationship as a healthy pause from serious dating. So, it’s okay to take a break from the dating scene and have NSA sex, however, don’t spend too long down that road because you won’t be fulfilling your emotional needs.
#9 Pull out when you start “feeling.” The minute you start feeling anything emotional for your partner, you have to end it. It’s not going to go well for you if you continue the relationship. However, I recommend expressing your feelings to your partner and see how they feel.
There will be situations when they also feel the same, and if that’s the case, then great. But, usually, it’s not. So mention how you’re feeling, see the reaction, and if it’s not in your favor, end it.
That way, you won’t torture yourself, and you’ll be able to move on without any real damage done. [Read: Subtle signs your fling thing is turning into something more]
#10 Keep it on the down low. Don’t make your NSA sex public on Facebook. Keep it on the down low. No one needs to know that you’re in a no-strings-attached relationship. It’s not going to last forever, so just keep this information to yourself and your best friends.
#11 Take everything with you. Don’t leave your toothbrush or underwear at their house. It’s not cute, and it’s clearly not following the NSA sex protocol. Sure, they’re going to tell you that you left your things at their place, but this isn’t an invitation for breakfast or bonding time. Keep it NSA in nature and take everything with you. [Read: Most common one night stand mistakes]
#12 Keep the conversation light. You don’t have to talk about your abandonment issues or the fight you just had with your best friend. In fact, you can keep the conversation completely shallow in nature.
Once you start discussing a deep topic, you open up and share personal information. Which isn’t a bad thing, however, that’s usually when emotions start to develop. So, keep the conversation light and easy.
#13 Bring a condom. No one wants to have a child with the person they had NSA sex with. It defeats the whole purpose of this type of relationship. Be smart and use protection.
Also, NSA relationships also mean that they can freely see other people, so you don’t know who they’re seeing and what that person may have. [Read: How to have safe sex in every single way]
#14 No date nights. No movie night, no dinners, no walks on the beach – no, no, no! This isn’t a date, it’s sex. Nothing personal will happen unless it’s evolved around taking off your clothes.
You have to remember, it’s only about sex. If you’re having a problem remembering this, well, then maybe this isn’t the type of relationship you need.
#15 Stay on track. You need to make sure that the NSA is staying on track and giving you what you want. The minute you feel that you’re not getting what you need out of it – end it. It’s not worth it.
There are plenty of other people who will have sex with you, so if this person isn’t the right one, go find another. If you feel that your partner is developing feelings, if they don’t bring it up, then you have to. [Read: Untold sex secrets you need to know]
#16 No sleepovers. Absolutely not. Take off your clothes, have sex, put your clothes back on and go home. Cuddling is not included unless it’s just after sex. But if you want to share a bed and cuddle all night, well, then go get an actual relationship.
#17 Go re-read rule #1. That’s the most important rule or else you’ll be doomed. I’m speaking from experience, so please, pay attention to this rule.
[Read: How to stop thinking about someone you still like]
NSA sex is great way to explore your sexuality and have fun without any emotional baggage getting in the way. So, follow these rules and you’ll be well on your way to have a stress-free experience.
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