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Dry Humping and the Virgin’s Guide to Orgasms

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Want to know how to dry hump? Here’s everything you’d ever want to know about dry humping and having more fun in bed without going all the way. By Sarah Summer

dry humping

Well, here we go down the new road of young lovers.

When you’re a teenager who’s just started to explore your sexuality, the world can be a titillating place.

Every kiss excites something, and every lingering touch stimulates something else.

It’s a tough world, being in a new relationship, having to behave like you know everything about sex already, and having to be ready for everything sex has to offer to you and your body.

[Read: 10 naughty sex games to play with your boyfriend in bed]

But you know what, seriously, even full blown adults can’t claim to be masters of sex and sexual stimulation!

There’s always something new to experience, and there’s always one step more to take towards better orgasms. So there really shouldn’t be any pressure on you to try it all at once!

[Read: 20 dirty questions to text a guy and seduce him instantly!]

Dry humping and the awkwardness of it

If you haven’t had sex yet, either because you’re not ready or because you don’t intend to have sex until you’ve met the right person who you can spend your life with, well, good for you.

You have nothing to be ashamed of. In fact, you need to be proud of your will power and your achievement because you’ve shown that you have the resolve and the emotional maturity that is well ahead of your friends who can’t wait to lose it with someone.

This feature is specifically for our younger readers who haven’t had sex yet, and are looking at other ways to keep the sexual excitement alive in their relationship. [Read: 20 things that turn a guy on sexually when he notices a girl]

You may think having sex at a young age is all the rage, but any woman with a frisky teenage sexual experience to brag about would tell you that sex is always better when you’ve reached consensual age and you’ve met someone you truly like.

What is dry humping?

Well, by definition, dry humping is nothing but dry sex. It’s a kind of non penetrative sex or outercourse, where your partner and you graze each other’s privates against each other, but with your clothes on.

You can feel each other down there, but you can’t see it or directly touch each other’s privates. And it’s probably called dry sex because you don’t exchange body fluids with each other. [Read: 10 sexy ways to discreetly seduce a guy who isn't yours already]

Dry sex definitely feels good, as the friction and pressure you feel on your labia and clitoris could stimulate you and make you feel sexually excited. Your boyfriend too may enjoy his erection more because of the pressure he feels against his member. To understand it better, think of it as grinding your butt at a guy when you’re dancing at a pervy party. [Read: How to grind with a guy sexily and discreetly]

Seriously, sex is totally f**king overrated!

I enjoy sex, I really do. I love everything about it. And yet, I need to say this, sex is completely overrated!

It’s not such a big deal as people make it out to be. There’s a stage for everything in life, and each experience is just as special. When you’re young, your first kiss is the defining moment of your life. And then, going to first base becomes the biggest defining moment of your life. And then comes second base, followed by several other sexual experiences as you grow older. And even when you do finally have sex, within a few months after having it for the first time, you’d want something more out of it!

Do you remember your first kiss or the first time you made out with your lover? Just the act of kissing or getting your breasts fondled left you hard and sliding off the slippery chair. But after you do it a few times, the excitement doesn’t stay the same, does it? [Read: How to kiss a guy and leave him hard and wanting for more]

It’s the same with sex, and that’s why there’s really no hurry to rush into it. If you do end up having sex at a younger age, there aren’t too many other things to explore sexually later in your life. Enjoy your exciting sexuality, one little step at a time, so you don’t forget your first kiss or the first time you made out. After all, the bad thing about penetration sex is that it always has a way of making you forget everything else you’ve done sexually!

The prudish advice for stress free dry humping

Without sounding like a total prude, I’d like to give you a piece of advice. Save your virginity for as long as you comfortably can. You’ll get to enjoy the other things a lot more by doing that!

If you’re 18 and still don’t feel ready for sex, don’t have sex. You don’t have to give in to peer pressure or do it just because everyone else is doing it. You’ll just regret it later.

Most teenagers can’t wait to grow up, and in their haste to become adults, they lose their youthful innocence far too soon. If you’re a teenager who wants to be an adult early in life, you need to understand that you may lose your childhood over your pursuit of experiencing your sexuality. [Read: 25 signs your boyfriend loves you even if he doesn't say it out]

Remember, once you lose your youthful teenage years, you’ll never get it back. Value your innocence. It’s the best part of being young. And really, you do realize that you have your whole life ahead of you to have sex with whomever you want, don’t you?!

Even if you’re in a relationship with a really great guy who says that he loves you, don’t jump into bed with him right away. Build intimacy first, and try to get to know each other better.

There is an easy way to understand if you and your lover are emotionally connected. If you’re uncomfortable talking about something sexual with your boyfriend, then you’re definitely not intimate yet. If you and your boyfriend really do love each other, both of you must feel really comfortable to talk about anything at all, don’t you think? [Read: 15 signs of an emotionally controlling manipulative boyfriend]

How to dry hump your way to better orgasms

Dry humping can be a lot of fun. It can give you a lot of orgasms, and it can also feel just as good as sex if you play it well.

To enjoy a good dry hump, you need privacy and a comfortable place to sit down or lie down. Beyond that, everyone has their own way of doing it. Here are a few great tips to dry hump your way to a sexy orgasm!

#1 Follow your instincts. When you lie down against each other, move your bodies against each other until the hips seem to move in sync with each other.

#2 The first time. If you’re dry humping for the first time or not really sure about how to do it, use a bed or a couch. Dry humping is all about the pelvic movements. The closer you place your private areas against each other while lying on top of each other, the more pleasurable it would feel.

#3 Use your hands. Just like regular sex, dry sex too isn’t all just about the action in between the pelvis. Use your hands and run them all over each other, kiss each other passionately, bite and nibble. Dry sex will definitely heighten the sensation of everything else you do to each other. [Read: 10 ways to increase the passion while kissing your lover]

#4 Avoid getting completely naked. The temptation of slipping it in will ruin the moment. It’s not worth it. If you ever do plan to have sex, it should never be a spur of the moment decision. You and your partner need to discuss this calmly and rationally when you’re not clouded by sexual passion.

#5 Shorts are good. You get to feel a lot of skin against each other, and this can really feel sexy. And if you’re wearing soft cotton shorts while he’s in his jeans, you’d end up getting stimulated faster and enjoy a better orgasm.

#6 Vary the positions. You don’t need to indulge in the same motions the whole while. Both of you could end up feeling rather sore in a short while. Instead, shift your bodies now and then. You can press your pelvis against his leg now and then, and use your hands to stimulate his package too.

#7 The presence of mind. Don’t lose your presence of mind just because you’re horny and can’t think straight. If you see that his pants are wet, or if he tells you that he’s about to ejaculate, pull back. There’s always a small risk of pregnancy if body fluids come in contact with each other. [Read: The dating girl code all girls definitely need to know]

Can you get pregnant by dry humping?

Dry sex doesn’t lead to pregnancies, it almost never does. For a very long time, it was always understood that penetration of the guy’s penis into a girl’s vagina is the only way for the girl to get pregnant. But a few rare medical cases have shown that it’s not always the case. Sometimes, exchange of body fluids can take place even without penetration and lead to pregnancy, though the chances of that happening are so slim that you’d probably be a medical case study if you end up pregnant.

[Read: How to have phone sex like a sexy sassy minx]

The worst case scenario of dry sex pregnancy

Let’s go through the worst case scenario in simple terms to help you understand it better. During ovulation, an egg is released by your body into the fallopian tubes from your ovaries. The egg stays there until a sperm meets it. These fallopian tubes connect to your uterus, which is further connected to the vagina through a cervix. That’s a lot of length for a warrior sperm to travel, especially if the sperm isn’t deep inside you already.

If your boyfriend ejaculates his sperm, wets his shorts with his sperm, and still continues to have passionate dry sex with you, there’s a small chance that the sperm may travel on to your clothes and pass through your shorts and over the outer walls of your vagina. After that, if you go to the bathroom and wipe yourself rather deep using a tissue, there’s a very small chance that one of the sperms that were on your vaginal wall may be pushed into your vagina because of your tissue.

Realistically speaking, it needs a lot of coincidences for you to get pregnant by having dry sex with your clothes on.

Cautiously speaking, if the guy you’re dry humping has ejaculated his sperm and your shorts feel wet with his sperm, stop right there. Even though the vaginal passage is deep, and the chances are slim, you really don’t need to take a gamble there.

But just to be cautious and smart, be aware of how birth control works. And if you’re comfortable with the idea, confess to a friendly adult that you’re indulging in dry sex so they can advice you and be your pillar of support when something scares you. [Read: 18 signs to decode a guy's true feelings about you]

The guy’s side of dry humping

A guy may not always be able to orgasm if he’s dry humping a girl. If your boyfriend complains of blue balls *his balls hurt because he wasn’t able to ejaculate after getting an erection*, let him finish himself off in the bathroom or in bed while fondling you with his hands. If he can masturbate when he’s alone at home, he definitely can do a better job while watching you in bed. [Read: Big blue ball facts every girl's gotta know!]

And most importantly, even if your boyfriend isn’t a virgin, don’t feel pressurized into doing more than just dry humping. Even if he whines about it, he’ll still enjoy it because getting sexually intimate with you is a whole new experience for him.

Think about it, if just passionately kissing you could give him an erection, don’t you think dry humping him will do so much more? [Read: Is your boyfriend pestering you to have sex with just-the-tip?]

Things to watch out while dry humping

Dry humping is safe and a great way to explore your sexuality and build intimacy with your lover, without having to involve sexual penetration into the picture.

But here are a few things you can keep in mind to ensure that nothing goes wrong while having dry sex with your partner.

#1 Don’t get overly aggressive. Sometimes even something as regular as zippers or thick jeans can end up grazing your skin, leaving you with an uncomfortable burn or a painful wound.

#2 Positions. Change the pressure positions now and then, or when you feel the pressure getting painful. You’ll enjoy dry humping better.

#3 The wet sensation. You may feel wet down there, but it’s just your body’s way of preparing you for sex. It’s your body’s natural lubricant, and this lubricant will help avoid getting hurt by making you more slippery down there. As long as the guy is wearing his jeans, and he hasn’t ejaculated, you don’t need to panic about your own lubricant. [Read: How to make him go down on you without a push]

#4 Tears in the walls. The lubricant released by your body can help protect your vaginal walls, but you still need to play it gently. Extremely aggressive dry sex could leave your vaginal walls with tears which could end up bleeding.

[Read: 25 easy tips on how you can make your boyfriend happy every single day!]

And well, that’s all there is to know about dry humping. And now that you know how to dry hump, share the word with your friends. You’d definitely be doing them a favor by letting them see the better side of dry sex over penetration sex!


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Have your say!
  • Alexis
    November 13, 2012 | Permalink |

    Thank you, Lovepanky… this is quite interesting to read. I turned 17 a few months ago and i have been holding myself back. I haven’t had sex yet, though i have had to end a couple of relationships with guys because they wanted more from me sexually.

    I was almost on the verge of giving in and having sex, for a lot of reasons. My friends have all done it. I don’t understand what’s the big deal about saving yourself for a special person. But the author says a few things that make a lot of sense to me.

    There’s no point in experiencing a lifetime worth of sex and sexual activities in one go just because you can! And that’s so true! I had my first kiss when I was 15 and made out with a guy in the same year. I even got naked with a guy when I was 16. So that leaves me with just sex, doesn’t it? I mean there are other things to do while having sex, but all said and done, sex is the only thing left for me.

    I have my whole life to experience it, and I really don’t need to hurry. As I started reading about the prudish part in the middle, I was like “yeah… whatever…!” but I get what you guys mean as I read it completely.

    Thank you so much, you helped me make up my mind. I’m sticking to dry sex until my mind says I’m ready.

  • Love your name
    November 13, 2012 | Permalink |

    Alexis, wait a minute…. you’re 17? It’s still illegal to have sex for you, you do know that right? But you have a very very sexy name… I wish I could date a girl by that name!

    But all said and done, do these preteens even have the emotional strength to resist sex? I don’t think so. All married folks are giving birth to horny little munchkins these days…

  • katie
    November 15, 2012 | Permalink |

    @Love your name, no it is not illegal for 17 year olds to have sex. It s illegal for them to have sex with an afult, but other than that, they can do whatever.

  • Bianca
    November 16, 2012 | Permalink |

    I’m pretty young, but not that young! I dry hump with my boyfriend. But every month, I’m a nervous wreck around the time I’m having my period. I’m not on the pill, and don’t see a reason to use that if I’m not having sex. But yet, I constantly worry whether I’d miss my period because my boyfriend impregnated me while having dry sex.

    People say dry sex will never lead to pregnancy, but I couldn’t understand why. This has been very helpful to me. I was able to understand the whole thing so much better. And I finally know why older people scoff at teens who worry about dry sex and pregnancy.

  • Leyah
    November 19, 2012 | Permalink |

    I did this before. It felt amazing !!!!

  • anonymous
    January 21, 2013 | Permalink |

    @Leyah you kno wht? Youre so right ima guy and im still a virgin and i did this my gf and whn she was on top OMG it felt so so SSSOOO AMAZING I couldnt describe the feeling and tbh it feels so loving, intimate, and sensual I really can say tht it truly is amazing and the closeness and love you feel is beyond anything and I really dnt hav a problem waiting as long as we keep having fun and loving each other

  • MrMan
    February 6, 2013 | Permalink |

    Well, if teenagers are trying to avoid sexual contact until they’ve met the right person or until marriage, I don’t know that dry humping would be something you recommend to them because that’s still sexual contact. I mean, if you are making a guy ejaculate or you’re ejaculating by doing something with a girl or a guy, how would that not be sexual activity?

  • anonymous
    February 10, 2013 | Permalink |

    I don’t think it’s a good idea to tell people when to have sex. I read this article to learn about dry sex but the writer preaches about virginity like a priest when noone really has asked this… I should wait that by someone with psychological problems and anorexia though…

  • Samira
    February 11, 2013 | Permalink |

    No one is TELLING anyone to have sex, but it is realistic to think that teens are out there doing it anyway, or want to, so this is a good guide for girls/guys to have IF they choose to do so. Teenagers may do silly things, bad things, but they do have brains and can think for themselves..opposable thumbs and what not.

  • Laura
    April 4, 2013 | Permalink |

    Just wanting to point out that it’s actually NOT possible to get pregnant from having dry sex. As this article describes, there is a tiny, tiny, unbelievably remote possibility that a few sperm cells may end up inside the vagina after dry humping. However, sperm cells on their own are not capable of creating a pregnancy. While it’s true that it only takes one sperm to fertilise an egg, semen, the fluid sperm are ejaculated with, is required to nourish the sperm and enable them to swim so that they are able to reach the egg. Semen cannot pass through clothing, or be transferred from skin/clothes/TP to the vagina, in the nutritionally complete form or the kind of quantity that is needed to keep sperm alive for long enough to create a pregnancy. If you have come into contact with semen while dry humping, you may need to be concerned about STIs, but pregnancy is not a risk for you.
    Source: scarleteen.com

  • Bob
    April 20, 2013 | Permalink |

    Ok so, me and my gf tried this for the first time and our experience was amazing..! I’m left thinking about it ALL day and I can’t wait to see her again.. a few things I quickly learned is, be prepared, nothing’s worse than a moment that leads to the start of the pervyness and it being interrupted because something is left out or out of place.. Have the right clothes, a good way to determine what clothes would be best for you is to imagine all your underwear that you have and remember which ones feel the best and a good rule to have is, don’t wear something to dry hump in if you can’t get yourself off while wearing them.. I made the mistake of wearing cotton and it doesn’t feel too great for me (personal preference) and also wear them backwards if they got that stupid lil button on the front.. So pointless.. Either that or cut the button off and have your granny sew them together if having an opening in your boxers bothers you. Another thing I learned is, when your in the moment.. Try new things but don’t try everything.. Like the article says, enjoy everything.. Preferably the little small things before moving on too fast, try a couple new things here and there and wait till next time to try something new.. Also it’s a must to have it being an intimate moment, you can’t just be like “oh hey, let’s dry hump..” It’s gotta be special or it won’t be the best thing you’ve ever felt, you have to create an intimate moment that reminds you of why your with your bf/gf and leads to the urges of showing them how much you love them.. Also once you go as far as reaching an orgasm, it becomes almost an addictive though And creates urges to live that moment over again and all this keeps your mind on sexual acts.. Don’t let this happen, remember how you guys were before you crossed the line and how much they mean to you and don make your life revolve around just that, I’m with my gf because I love her for who she is, she understands me more than anyone I’ve ever known, she’s the only person I’ve ever been able to open up with this much and everything about her from her beautiful smile, to her cute freckles, and her gorgeous body as well as her bright personality and everything inbetween. And I still carry the memories that we started making over a year ago and how we’ve gotten to know eachother so well and become part of eachothers lives, and I will never forget any of our memories together. Even after crossing that line and wanting the sexual pleasure time after time, I still stop to remember who we are and where we’ve come from and just how special we are to eachother and when we get together, I make it where it’s not the only thing we talk/think about or do when were alone.. It’s hard not to take every chance we get since we don’t know the next time we will get the chance again, but to me it doesn’t matter if we ever got the chance again, I would sill love her and the sexual/physical pleasure is no where as great as the pleasure we get mentally and emotionally, having a constant happiness is an amazing thing to have in my life and there wouldn’t be much of it without her.. That’s what makes it so special! And another thing about dry humping is that when your In the moment, don’t forget to touch your bf/gf’s body while doing so, touch, caress, kiss, and nibbling make amazing combinations, but before you start dry humping and getting carried away on the quest to have or give an orgasm.. Take the time to learn their body, find out what they like and what they dont, don’t be afraid to ask and talk about it.. Sometimes she won’t just strait out tell you what she likes, but if you spend enough time exploring, you’ll see the signs of what gets her heart beating fast.. And also look for hits, she will give you lots of hits and learn how to read those hints! Very important (not just in bed) once you understand what she likes, how she likes to kiss, where she likes to be kissed, if she likes to be nibbled or bit, and how she likes to be nibbled or bit, and where she likes to be touched.. The best way to touch a girl is to find her weak spot.. Once you found it, play with it.. Start slow, and make it a surprise when you do it.. Like for example.. My gf likes her collar bone/ neck/ and back of her neck, right where her neck meets her hair.. I’d say she gets the most sensation from the back of her neck, and not as strongly on her neck under her jaw and under the ear.. Her collar bone is about in the middle.. So a good technique (personally) is to start at her neck so those less exhilarating chills are what gets her started.. It’s not orgasmic, but it sets the mood.. Softly touching her neck, running the tips of my fingers across her neck is a good way to start.. Than have a random moment where you secretly move on to the collar bone, giving it a jump in the moment and a quick rush, but pull back.. It’s just a tease! Go back to what you were doing.. It’ll leave her wanting more with just that sample.. Start kissing while rubbing her neck (multi tasking is a must when it comes to all this) after a while of building up the sensation, move on to the next step, move to the collar bone and kiss a little more passionately.. Eventually at a random as possible time, (NEVER make it predictable when) tease her again by possibly going to her biggest weak spot! But just a tease, you’ll get a stunning moan out of her and its amazing, but pull back! Don’t rush anything, make it last all night! Equally move on to a different possition, get creative and possibly pause to tell her just how much you love her and start kissing her neck, go trough the steps you did with your hands, but with your lips.. But while your kissing her neck, caress her collarbone and randomly tease her weakest spot and build your way up the pyramid.. Going in a sequence of course! And the best way you can touch her is all about being in an unexpected way.. When you touch her weak spot.. You can’t let her see what your hands/lips are doing.. Don’t do patters.. Going in circles is predictable and she will expect the next move leaving the moment dull because she knows what to expect.. Instead, try randomly creative zigzags and curves and twists and turns here and there.. The best thing I’ve found is that when you have hair covering the sensitive place, like how her hair gets in the way of her neck, there’s a loss of surprise.. If you go to move your lips to press against her neck, she will feel the hair touch the area first, leaving her expecting something to Happen.. Another way to think about it is like how a cat has whiskers and how they use them.. Move the hair out of the way, make sure she can’t see it coming, and get creative! The best thing I’ve found is that when your rubbing one spot in particular, in a sensitive area that’s generally large, like the chest.. If you can focus on one little spot like while your talking to her or distracting her somehow, secretly reposition your fingers and swiftly brush your fingers across another area that hasn’t been touched as much or focused on, and pull off quickly, it’s the best tease ever! In my experience at least.. Seeing as we went for hours all throughout the night, with multiple orgasms and only stopping because school in the morning.. So over all, make sure your comfortable with what your wearing.. Have the ability of communication, take it slow, understand what she likes before moving to the big stuff so that you know what to do when that time comes and you’ll be able to make it hundreds of times better since you already know what to add to the equation instead of wasting time experimenting in the moment. And don’t worry about getting pregnant. It should be the least of your worries for sure.. But don’t listen to people who say it’s 100% not possible, people like this don’t understand the theory of probability and also that it’s an opinion when someone says something about the future. That means it’s not a fact.. A fact is something you can prove, an opinion is someone’s thoughts about it.. EVEN IF: it’s still an opinion if something refers to the future.. Even if it’s more than likely going to happen.. Because no one can predict the future.. We can predict the probability of something happening but we can’t prove it WILL actually happen.. Because anything is possible, for example; you can have the smartest scientist in the world stand in front of you and hold a stick and tell you that if he lets go of the stick, that it will fall to the ground. This is not true, it’s more than likely going to happen, but it’s not 100% going to happen when you take into consideration of possibilities. You can have the possibility that between the time the man lets go of the stick and when it hits the ground, that something and anything could happen to interrupt this process.. Such as a tornado which could potentially pick the stick up whirling it into the sky hard and fast enough to fly into the engine of an airplane, obliterating it. As un realistic as it sounds, it’s still a possibility.. (Please don’t think of this as a real life scenario but as somethin in theory, meaning the idea of the concept of what I’m saying) and people that try to say it’s 100% not possible are not only wrong, but they are not stating a fact.. Nor doing you any good, it’s natural to worry about things. And that’s a good trait to have! Why wouldn’t you want to worry about it? Being worried is what keeps your senses heightened and aware. That means you’ll be more likely to prevent something bad, much sooner. So keep in mind that it is possible.. And to give you an example that fits this topic, say you were dry humping and an earthquake were to happen as your cumming and the earthquake somehow created a rough enough friction or movement that causes your you know what to slip out of the clothes and accidentally into somewhere else.. It’s not gonna be very likely to happen ever.. But there’s still a possibility of it happening.. Right? Never forget that.

  • jeanne
    May 1, 2013 | Permalink |

    im 22 and a virgin and im so proud of it.. to satisfy our sexual urges with my bf (who is also a virgin) , we do dry humping.. it feels so good but i feel the guilt every after doing it..

  • Unknown
    June 16, 2013 | Permalink |

    Im in my young teens, as well as my cousin of opposite gender. We “dry humped” just being curious, no incest intended. Is this common?

  • AngelaShepard
    June 24, 2013 | Permalink |

    I’m 17 and I’ve had dry sex with my FWB before. Our first time we only had dry sex. The next time we got naked. Honestly, even for a girl ,it feels SO much better without clothing on. There’s nothing in the way AT ALL. You can feel so much more pleasure. And then you don’t have to just leave it at dry sex, but can move onto third base things. If you’re worried about STIs, then just stick to hand jobs and fingering. Because it feels so much better than being clothed. Even just keeping on underwear sucks…until the underwear is ripped off :P Honestly, true orgasms don’t happen to girls until they get at least SOMETHING inserted. Whether it be tampon or a finger, anything that can touch your g-spot. Only then do you feel true bliss…

  • Emmit
    August 17, 2013 | Permalink |

    Having sex at a young age is so much better than doing it when you’re older. It’s sooo much funner doing it young cause you have a lot of stimulation going on inside you, but as you get older you just don’t have that stimulation anymore, it still feels good and all, but not as well as it did as a teenager. All I know is, if I was a teenager again, I would’ve done it more than I did.

  • Roxx
    November 25, 2013 | Permalink |

    Do not have sex if you can. Do you want to be a teen mom, STDs, heartbreak? e. And remember: SAFE SEX! Sex is easily the easiest thing messing up society. Teen moms, poor mothers with 8 children, low-self esteem children without two parent homes, abortions, AIDS, cheating, divorces from lack of sex. Sex just seems like a root of a lot of problems. I have been in three serious relationships without sex and am happily with one man 2 years. It can work. All the ones that didn’t last were not worth my time! I endorse dry sex because less risk but still pleasure.

    - Yur fav college senior

  • Tadalafil
    February 8, 2014 | Permalink |

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