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Virgin’s Guide to Acting Like She Has Experience: 35 Ways to Do It Like a Pro

You’re about to lose your v-card to that guy you’re dating but don’t want to come off as a newbie? Here’s the virgin’s guide to acting like she has experience.

virgin's guide to act like she has experience

Losing your virginity is one of the biggest decisions you will make in your life. Some people might wait to be in love, whereas others may just feel ready to experience sexual pleasure. There are also those who have made the decision to wait until marriage before losing it.

It can feel like a really scary moment when you have decided that the time is right to have sex, as the fear of the unknown can bring on anxiety and restlessness. Part of that anxiety is due to the fact that you want to pleasure your partner, but you have no prior experience in pleasuring any other guy in the bedroom. Another reason for your apprehension may be the fear that not being prepared for sex will make the whole experience disappointing *at best* or painful *at worst*.

You want to at least come across like you have some idea of what you’re doing, so that the act of losing your virginity involves less awkward fumbling. If your partner knows that you’re a virgin with zero experience, they’ll probably be understanding. But even then, wouldn’t it be great to make your first time a pleasurable experience for both of you? [Read: Sex for the first time: 37 must-knows & secrets about losing your virginity]

Why Not Seem Like a Virgin?

Let’s get real about this whole virgin’s guide to acting like she has experience deal. We’re diving into the why’s behind wanting to seem more experienced – kind of like sharing secrets over our favorite lattes. It’s all about understanding what’s driving you, so you can navigate this journey with confidence and authenticity.

1. Societal Pressures and Expectations

Society can be a tough crowd, right? It seems like there are all these unwritten rules about what’s ‘normal’ in the intimacy department. If you’re feeling the pressure to match up to these expectations, that’s totally normal.

Many turn to a virgin’s guide to acting like she has experience just to sidestep those pesky societal norms and feel a bit more ‘in’ with the crowd. [Read: How to handle the pressure to live life to the fullest and thrive]

2. Desire for Personal Empowerment

Sometimes, it’s all about feeling in control and empowered. Knowing how to not seem like a virgin can be a stepping stone to feeling more confident and self-assured in intimate settings.

It’s about owning your narrative and feeling like you’re on an equal playing field, even if you’re still exploring your own experiences and boundaries.

3. Overcoming Anxiety in Intimate Situations

Let’s be real: intimacy can be nerve-wracking! If the thought of being seen as inexperienced makes your stomach do flips, learning how to project an air of experience can be a useful shield. It’s a way to calm those jitters and feel more relaxed, allowing you to enjoy intimate moments more fully.

4. Building Self-Esteem in Various Social Dynamics

This is all about feeling good in your skin, no matter the crowd. Whether you’re with friends who are more experienced or finding yourself in conversations where your virgin status feels like it sticks out, knowing how to act like you have experience can be a real self-esteem booster. [Read: High self-esteem: 33 low signs, what hurts self-worth & secrets to pump it]

5. Bridging the Gap in Relationship Dynamics

When you’re in a relationship where your partner is more experienced, it can sometimes lead to a desire to appear more seasoned.

While your partner likely won’t mind your level of experience, you might still feel the urge to bridge this gap, driven by a wish for a more harmonious connection.

How to Make Your First Sexual Experience Awesome

Here are some ways you can learn more about sex in general, so that you aren’t completely clueless when it comes down to it. This will help you gain the confidence you need, so that you aren’t in the dark about what to expect, and you’ll be able to enjoy the experience as well.

1. Project Confidence

If there is one single thing to have when having sex *aside from protection, of course*, it’s confidence in yourself. While this is easier said than done, especially in an area that is completely new for you, you can still work on improving your confidence beforehand.

Having confidence in your body will take the emphasis off any inexperience you have. Guys are attracted to a woman’s confidence and body language, not necessarily how wild she is in bed. That can be learned later on, but it’s not essential to know how to be a freak between the sheets the first time you have sex.

There are a few ways that you can embody the opposite of confidence that would make you look insecure, shy, and could give away the fact that you have no idea what you’re doing.

Being afraid to have sex with any lights on or attempting to keep your partner from seeing your naked body will only have the opposite effect of what you are hoping for.

If you’re not confident with yourself, the vulnerability you’ll feel during the act of having sex will only serve to make you feel even more anxious, thus making the whole experience less enjoyable. [Read: Steps to be more body confident in the bedroom]

2. Watch Some Porn

Porn is a great tool for learning about sex, even if it’s not based on love or true emotional intimacy. Porn is not always a realistic portrayal of what you’ll be experiencing during sex with your partner. However, the basic act of sex is something you should familiarize yourself with before actually doing it.

You can get the whole visual experience of the male and female parts, so that you’re not squeamish when you see them in person. You’ll also be able to watch what the guy is doing and how the girl is reacting, so that you know what to expect when you have sex for the first time.

Just a word of advice: aim for watching porn that portrays the more romantic side of sex. With the many pornographic options you have online, it’s easy to find porn that features realistic lovemaking. [Read: Non-porn erotic movies that are sure to turn you on]

3. Learn More About Your Body

If you want to seem like you have experience even when you don’t, then it is essential to first get to know your own body.

While not all girls are comfortable with self-pleasuring, others learned from a young age how to explore their own body through masturbation and visual aids like porn.

Learning what you like and how to pleasure yourself will make you seem much more experienced than you are, simply because you know how to push your own buttons.

Do your own research on how women can pleasure themselves, and read up on tried and tested techniques. Get to know exactly what feels good and what doesn’t, so that you can communicate that to your guy when you’re having sex.

4. Talk to a Friend You Trust

Talking to a friend that you trust who has already lost their virginity, is a good way to gain real information on what you can expect. Ask them about their first time experiences, and if they met their expectations. Then talk to them about how sex has changed after that, and any advice they might have for you.

If you are too embarrassed to explain that you’re a virgin, you can casually bring it up in conversation and get them to open up about their first time. Understanding sex through a trusted friend will help you feel less apprehensive and more confident about the experience.

5. Practice Relaxing

Nothing will make for a more painful and frightening sexual encounter than being too tense right from the start. Tensing up your pelvic muscles will make it extremely hard for your guy to penetrate you, and it could cause excruciating pain for you.

Relaxing your entire body, especially your pelvic area, will help loosen you up and make sure that sex will be an enjoyable experience, rather than a painful one.

6. Talk it Over With Your Guy

Before you even head to the bedroom, you can usually glean some information on what your guy is into when you finally get it on. Knowing what he’s into can help you prepare for the moment when he finally acts on them in the bedroom.

Talking about your own personal preferences prevents you from being unpleasantly surprised when the moment finally comes. [Read: What women want in bed but are too ashamed to ask]

7. Fake it Till You Make It

Being a virgin really isn’t so bad. Even though it might put you in a scenario that doesn’t feel natural just yet, try to remember that everyone has to start somewhere, and that somewhere is where you are right now.

Spend time exploring your own body, getting advice from credible online sources, learning through visual aids, and working on your confidence in the meantime.

When the time comes, you will feel surer of yourself, and you will also have a much better idea of what to expect. Going into sex blindly can lead to possible disappointments, unexpected surprises, and unlikely expectations. [Read: Foolproof sex tips every girl should know]

8. Educate Yourself About Safe Sex Practices

Understanding safe sex is crucial for an awesome first experience. It’s not just about preventing pregnancy, it’s also about protecting against sexually transmitted infections *STIs*.

Familiarize yourself with different types of contraception, including condoms, and understand their proper usage. Knowing these details ahead of time can alleviate anxieties related to health risks, allowing you to focus more on the experience itself.

This knowledge also demonstrates a level of maturity and responsibility, which is an important aspect of not seeming like a virgin.

9. Set the Right Atmosphere

Creating a comfortable and inviting atmosphere can significantly enhance your experience. It might involve setting the mood with dim lighting, soft music, or even scented candles.

A pleasant environment can help ease nerves and make the experience more enjoyable for both partners. Doing this is a subtle yet effective way to not seem like a virgin.

10. Explore Foreplay

Here’s the thing about amateurs: they often get so caught up in their nerves that they overlook the art of foreplay. The truth is, foreplay isn’t just a prelude to sex; it’s an integral part of the entire experience.

Engaging in foreplay—like kissing, touching, and oral play—helps in building a deeper connection and intensifying pleasure for both partners.

You don’t have to tick off every foreplay activity in the book. Just find what resonates with you and your partner, taking it at a pace that feels right. Mastering this aspect is a key element in a virgin’s guide to acting like she has experience, making the journey toward intimacy both enjoyable and memorable. [Read: Sexual foreplay: 26 lusty secrets to do it well & make them hot & horny]

11. Communicate Openly

Good communication is key to a great first sexual experience. Talk openly about your likes, dislikes, and boundaries. This doesn’t mean you need to super detailed but be comfortable in expressing your feelings and desires in the moment.

Good communication can also help dispel any misconceptions or anxieties you might have, and it shows a level of confidence and maturity, which is integral to not seeming like a virgin.

12. Focus on Pleasure, Not Performance

It’s important to focus on the pleasure of the experience rather than on performance. Remember, sex is not just about reaching an orgasm or impressing your partner.

It’s about enjoying the journey, exploring sensations, and connecting with your partner. This can alleviate performance pressure and make the experience more enjoyable for both of you.

13. Choose the Right Partner

This one might not immediately spring to mind when you’re flipping through a virgin’s guide to acting like she has experience but choosing the right partner is absolutely crucial. Your first experience should be with someone who genuinely respects and values your comfort and consent. [Read: How to know if someone Is right for you: 23 signs you found the one]

A partner who is considerate and patient, one who tunes into your needs and is willing to progress at a pace you’re comfortable with, can make all the difference.

Opting for such a partner isn’t just about ensuring a positive first experience; it reflects your discernment and maturity, which are fundamental in how to not seem like a virgin.

Consent is a fundamental part of a positive sexual experience. It’s important to understand that consent is ongoing and can be withdrawn at any time. Both partners should feel comfortable and willing to engage in every aspect of the encounter.

Being clear about consent shows a level of awareness and respect that is crucial in any sexual relationship and is an important part of how to not seem like a virgin.

15. Manage Expectations

It’s important to manage your expectations about your first sexual experience. Understand that it might not be perfect, and that’s okay.

Every sexual encounter is different, and it’s normal to experience a range of emotions. Approaching the experience with an open mind and a willingness to learn can make it more enjoyable and less stressful.

16. Pay Attention to Your Partner’s Needs

It’s easy to get too absorbed in the fact that you’re a virgin, to focus solely on your own experience and feelings, but remember, a sexual encounter is a two-way street.

Paying attention to your partner’s needs and responses is crucial. Notice their body language and verbal cues and be responsive to them.

17. Use Lubrication

Using lubrication can make sex more comfortable and enjoyable, especially for your first time. It can help reduce discomfort and enhance pleasure for both partners. There are many types of lubricants available, so it’s important to choose one that is right for you and your partner. [Read: How to use lube: 25 best lubricants for sex, pros, cons & secrets to use them]

18. Be Prepared for the Unexpected

It’s important to be prepared for the unexpected during your first sexual experience. This might include things like unexpected noises, bodily functions, or even awkward moments.

Remember that these things are normal and nothing to be embarrassed about. Being prepared for the unexpected can help you feel more relaxed and less self-conscious.

19. Reflect on Your Experience

After your first sexual experience, take some time to reflect on what you liked and what you didn’t like. This can help you learn more about your own desires and preferences, and it can also help you communicate better with your partner in the future. Reflecting on your experience can also help you feel more confident and empowered the next time.

20. Just Say That It’s Your First Time

We know this might not be the tip you were expecting in a guide about how to not seem like a virgin, but hear us out. Being upfront about it being your first time can significantly shape your experience for the better.

When you’re open with your partner about your inexperience, it paves the way for them to be more gentle, patient, and considerate. This honesty can lead to a more supportive and understanding environment, where your comfort and pace are prioritized.

It might feel vulnerable to share this, but it often leads to a deeper connection and a more fulfilling first experience. Plus, it lifts the weight of expectation off your shoulders, allowing you to be more present and enjoy the moment. [Read: Emotional connection: 38 signs, secrets & ways to build a real bond]

Challenges and Missteps

Pulling off the whole “acting like she has experience” thing isn’t always a walk in the park, even with the best virgin’s guide in hand. As you navigate how to not seem like a virgin, you’re bound to encounter a few hiccups along the way.

21. Dealing with Awkward Situations Gracefully

Awkward moments are a natural part of any intimate experience, especially for those trying to not seem like a virgin. You might encounter unexpected reactions, or things might not go as smoothly as you anticipated.

The key is to stay calm and handle these situations with a sense of humor and grace. Remember, it’s okay to laugh off the awkwardness or even acknowledge it openly. This approach shows maturity and confidence, making any slip-ups seem less daunting.

22. Learning from Experiences Without Self-Judgment

As you step out of your comfort zone, there will be moments of self-doubt or criticism, especially when things don’t go as planned. It’s important to remember that each experience is a learning opportunity.

Instead of beating yourself up, reflect on what you could do differently next time. This mindset is essential for anyone following a virgin’s guide to acting like she has experience.

23. Seeking Advice and Support When Needed

Sometimes, you might feel out of your depth or unsure about how to proceed. In these moments, don’t hesitate to seek advice or support from a trusted friend, a mentor, or even professional resources. [Read: True friendship: 37 real friend traits & what it takes to be a good, loyal one]

Asking for help is not a sign of weakness; rather, it shows a willingness to learn and improve. This is a vital step in how to not seem like a virgin, as it demonstrates that you’re proactive about your growth and well-being.

24. Overestimating Your Comfort Level

In your eagerness to seem experienced, you might agree to things that are outside your actual comfort zone. It’s important to stay true to yourself and only engage in activities that you’re genuinely comfortable with.

Pushing your boundaries too far can lead to negative experiences. Learning to say no and setting clear boundaries is an essential part of acting with experience.

25. Misreading Your Partner’s Cues

Effective communication is key in any intimate encounter. However, there might be times when you misinterpret your partner’s signals or fail to express your own needs clearly.

Miscommunication can lead to discomfort or misunderstanding. Practice active listening and encourage open dialogue with your partner. This not only enhances mutual understanding but also makes you appear more experienced and attentive.

26. Neglecting Emotional Preparedness

Focusing too much on the physical aspects can sometimes lead you to neglect the emotional readiness required for intimacy. Remember, being emotionally prepared is just as important as being physically prepared.

If you’re not emotionally ready, it can lead to a less than satisfactory experience. Acknowledge your feelings and ensure you’re emotionally aligned with your decisions. [Read: Sensual sex: 46 secrets, tips to try it & reasons why it’s so hot & passionate]

27. Overcompensating in Behavior

In an effort to not seem like a virgin, you might overcompensate by being overly bold or aggressive. This can actually have the opposite effect, making your inexperience more apparent.

Aim for a balance in your behavior. Being yourself, with a touch of confidence and assertiveness, is more effective than putting on an act.

28. Ignoring Your Own Pleasure

Sometimes, in trying to please your partner or to appear experienced, you might forget about your own pleasure. Remember, a fulfilling experience is about mutual satisfaction. Don’t be afraid to guide your partner to what feels good for you.

29. Failing to Adapt to the Moment

Despite all the preparation, real-life scenarios can unfold differently. You might find yourself sticking rigidly to what you’ve learned, rather than adapting to the moment. Be flexible and open to going with the flow. Adaptability is a sign of experience, and it can make your encounters more enjoyable and authentic.

30. Letting Anxiety Overwhelm You

It’s natural to feel anxious about wanting to not seem like a virgin, but letting this anxiety overwhelm you can hinder your experience. Practice techniques to manage your nerves, such as deep breathing or mindfulness.

Confidence comes with time and experience. Each step you take is a move towards becoming more comfortable and assured in your actions. [Read: Sexual anxiety: 25 secrets to not feel nervous about having sex & enjoy it]

There’s Absolutely Nothing Wrong With Being a Virgin

We want to empahasize that there’s absolutely nothing wrong with being a virgin. Your sexual experiences and choices are personal and should always align with what feels right for you.

However, if you’re set on not broadcasting your virgin status and you’re keen on ensuring that your first time is as enjoyable as possible, the steps outlined here can be your guide.

[Read: Pop the cherry: What it means & tips to deflower a girl & not hurt her]

Remember, the goal isn’t just to disguise your inexperience, it’s to build your confidence and comfort in intimate situations. Every step you take using this virgin’s guide to acting like she has experience is a step towards understanding yourself better, both physically and emotionally. With these tips and insights, you’re well-equipped to handle whatever comes your way, all while keeping your secret just that—a secret.

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The editorial team of LovePanky comprises relationship experts and real-life experts that share their experiences and life lessons. If you want the best love ad...