Do you emasculate your man? You may be making him feel ‘less than’ without realizing it! Use these tips to help him.
As a woman and a lover, one of the things you take upon yourself is to change your man for the better. You see his flaws and his imperfections, and you want to help him improve upon them. After all, many men are diamonds in the rough that need a bit of polishing to become better versions of themselves *right?*. But, when you do this, you need to make sure you don’t accidentally emasculate your man in the process!
When you’re in a relationship, isn’t it each partner’s selfless love that helps their partner become the best they can be? That’s true to a degree, but you have to remember that if you go too far, you risk changing him beyond all recognition. That’s not the aim, is it?
Let him be who he is, but help him smooth out those rough edges in time. Don’t make him feel guilty for his character and his flaws – we all have them!
Also, remember that you’re not perfect either. [Read: The 41 best qualities of a good man that sets him apart from lesser men]
Mutual Respect in the Relationship
In truth, most men feel emasculated all the time already. If your guy starts to believe that you don’t trust him or respect him in the relationship, he’ll feel a lot more emasculated than other men.
Then, he’ll look for the first thing he can do to feel like a man again – he’ll immerse himself in his work to earn more money and feel powerful. Or he’ll run behind another woman who can make him feel like a man again. [Read: Why your man would cheat on you – 3 big reasons and 27 more!]
Mutual respect in a relationship plays a big part in the relationship’s longevity and the happiness both of you experience. Without respect, your relationship is doomed to fail.
After all, how would you feel if your partner constantly pulled you down, belittled you, and made you feel less than your true self? You’d leave, wouldn’t you? And rightly so!
A man always feels emasculated when his wife or girlfriend believes he’s not good enough.
Egos play a big part too. When a woman loses an ego battle, she feels controlled and restricted. And when a man loses an ego battle, he feels emasculated. [Read: How to stroke your man’s ego when he’s feeling down]
Why Do Men Feel So Emasculated?
Why do men get these feelings? It’s a complex mix of factors, and it’s not always a woman’s fault. Let’s explore some common reasons why a man might feel emasculated.
1. You Made Him Feel So
Sometimes, without meaning to, your words or actions can make him feel less confident. Maybe you’ve said or done things that unintentionally emasculate a man. We’ll explore what those might be in the next sections but being aware of this possibility is the first step toward understanding his feelings.
2. Societal Pressures
Men often deal with heavy expectations to be strong, successful, and unemotional. Society might expect them to act tough, hide their feelings, or always take the lead. There can be pressure to dress a certain way, like wearing suits or masculine clothing, and to avoid anything perceived as “unmanly.”
These societal pressures can be overwhelming. When he feels he doesn’t measure up—whether it’s in how he looks, acts, or feels—it can chip away at his self-esteem and emasculate a man. The weight of these expectations isn’t easy to carry alone. [Read: How to handle the pressure to live life to the fullest and thrive]
Challenges at work, like a tough job environment or unemployment, can hit hard. A man’s career is often closely tied to his identity. Struggles in this area might make him feel inadequate, which can emasculate a man. Work stress doesn’t just stay at the office—it follows him home too.
4. Comparisons to Others
Constantly comparing himself to friends, family, or even celebrities can lead to feelings of inadequacy. Seeing others succeed where he feels he hasn’t can be disheartening. This habit of comparison can really emasculate a man, making him doubt his own accomplishments.
5. Past Experiences
Previous relationships or life events might have left scars. If he’s been made to feel less than in the past, those feelings can linger. Old wounds can resurface and continue to emasculate a man over time. The past doesn’t always stay behind us.
6. Health Issues
Physical or mental health challenges can affect his confidence significantly. Dealing with these issues might make him feel vulnerable. Health problems can emasculate a man, especially if they impact his daily life or abilities. [Read: How to talk about money with your partner without fighting about it]
7. Financial Struggles
Money troubles can be a major source of stress. If he’s facing financial difficulties, it can weigh heavily on him. Societal expectations about being a provider can emasculate a man when he’s struggling to make ends meet.
8. Lack of Autonomy
Feeling controlled or like he doesn’t have a say in his own life can be really frustrating. When decisions are made for him or he feels micromanaged, it can diminish his sense of self.
This loss of control can emasculate a man, making him feel powerless. He might begin to think his opinions don’t matter or that he’s not trusted to handle things on his own. Over time, this can lead to resentment and a drop in his confidence.
9. Emotional Suppression
Men are often taught to keep their feelings to themselves. Not being able to express emotions openly can build up internal tension. This emotional bottling can internally emasculate a man, affecting his well-being.
10. Unrealistic Personal Expectations
Sometimes he sets the bar too high for himself. When he doesn’t meet his own lofty goals, it can lead to self-criticism. This kind of internal pressure can emasculate a man, making him feel like he’s never enough. [Read: Self loathing: What it is, 25 signs & how to stop hurting yourself]
Things You Say or Do That Emasculate Your Man
If you find that your husband or boyfriend is starting to communicate less about his work or the problems he’s experiencing, perhaps he feels emasculated already.
Or worse, you may be saying something to him that makes him believe you’ll judge him negatively or think he’s less of a man.
A woman may not always play a part in emasculating her man. But, if you do say or do any of these things, then chances are you’re emasculating him already! [Read: Masculine traits – 21 healthy and unhealthy manly characteristics]
1. You Take Over
Don’t push him aside and take over a conversation or an argument, especially because you believe he’s not arguing his case well enough. The fact that you intervened will make him believe you think he can’t stand up for himself.
2. You Brag About Your History
Do you brag now and then about your sexual history or his inexperience with life just to put him down? Knowing full well that he can’t compete with you?
Sex is a big part of a man’s mind. And if he knows he’s not as experienced as you, he’ll just want to go out there and notch a few more to feel man enough again. [Read: The right way to talk about past relationships with your current partner]
3. Scoff at His Salary
A guy subconsciously feels like the hunter and the provider in the relationship. Scoffing at the one thing society’s convinced him is his role, i.e. earning money for the family, will definitely make him feel like he’s less of a man.
4. Tell Him He’s a Wimp
Don’t call your man a coward just because he couldn’t confront someone or deal with a situation. Instead, reason with him and talk about what the better action could have been. Be sure to empathize with him at the same time. [Read: How the power of words can make or break your relationship]
5. Compare Him to Other Men in a Bad Light
No guy likes being compared negatively to another guy, especially by his own girlfriend or wife. Just don’t do it! It’s disrespectful and if he did the same thing to you, you’d be enraged and extremely upset.
6. You Emasculate Your Man When You Talk About His Flaws
If there are flaws you need to confront, talk about them in private, and never in front of anyone else. Talking about his weaknesses in front of others will anger him and make him withdraw from you emotionally. [Read: 12 important tips to be a happy couple that’s envied by everyone else]
7. You Say “I Knew You Wouldn’t Be Able To Do it”
Hearing this line from a woman he loves feels like a painful low blow on his crotch. And the worst part is that he can’t even argue the case himself because he’s failed in your eyes.
8. You Stare at the Ceiling When He’s on Top of You
You really can’t blame yourself if you don’t enjoy having sex with him. But if he stares into your eyes while both of you are locked in a passionate embrace and he sees you staring at the ceiling or yawning like you’re bored, his member will shrivel into a raisin in no time. The same goes for faking it and getting caught too! [Read: How to make long term sex or married sex feel like a one night stand]
9. You Tell Him You’ve Seen Bigger
Almost every guy knows there are other men who have bigger packages. But it’s a truth he’d rather not acknowledge or talk about. A guy wants to believe that he’s the biggest thing that’s been inside of you.
To a guy, other guys who have bigger packages is an urban legend or a myth. It’s something that may be possible but there’s no evidence to back it up. But if you ever tell him that you’ve personally had bigger ones, that’s a blow to his ego because it shatters the myth and turns it into a reality. [Read: Does size matter? – Decode your size compatibility using tips from the Kama Sutra]
10. Criticize or Downplay His Achievements
Does your man proudly announce his achievements to you, however small? And if he does, how do you respond to it? With a pat on his back and a big smile? Or with an “oh, don’t worry, I’m sure you can do better next time”?
Downplaying even his smallest achievements will only make him more distant from you. [Read: 18 emotional affair signs you probably didn’t notice]
11. Yelling at Him
Yelling at your man is acceptable, but only if he’s a yeller himself who can argue his case. But if your guy isn’t a yeller himself, you’ll only scare him, shut him down, and make him whimper away to a corner.
12. You Make Him Feel Like a Failure
You may not say anything directly to him. But for some reason or another, or by your actions, if your man starts to think he’s not good enough in your eyes, he will surely feel emasculated by that thought. [Read: Feeling like a failure – How to find your will and change your mindset]
13. Flirt With Other Men
Harmless flirting with other men is never bad, as long as you do it the right way. Flirt with other men when you’re at a party or a get-together, but as soon as your man steps into the room, stop. Or, tease other men but make sure you cling to your man’s arms and give him all your attention.
Just don’t do anything that causes him to feel disrespected or used. Just watching how all the other men in the room envy him will give your guy a huge ego and a boost of masculinity! [Read: How flirting while you’re in a relationship can better your relationship]
But if you flirt with other men, and completely ignore your own man, then you’ll definitely emasculate him and infuriate him too. It’s very similar to how a guy feels when he’s cheated on by his girlfriend.
14. Telling Him He’s Not Man Enough
This is the biggest emasculation blow a man can get. Don’t ever tell your man you think he’s not man enough just because he doesn’t behave the way you think he should in a particular situation.
Signs You’re Emasculating Your Man
It’s not always easy to realize when you’re making your guy feel less like himself. If you’re wondering whether you might be unintentionally stepping on his masculinity, step back and see if any of these signs sound familiar.
1. He Pulls Away Emotionally
If your man seems distant or isn’t sharing like he used to, he might be feeling emasculated. He could be retreating because he feels his opinions or feelings aren’t valued.
If you always reject his input, be it in making decisions or even just in simple discussions about whatever else, he might distance himself, be it intentionally or unintentionally. Emasculating a man can lead him to close off to protect himself. Pay attention to his emotional availability. [Read: 42 signs & reasons why men pull away & how you need to behave to fix it]
2. He Stops Making Decisions
Men like it when they are in charge of some things. It makes them feel good that you rely on them. So notice if he’s constantly deferring to you on choices big and small. While it’s nice to take the lead sometimes, always taking charge can make him feel undermined.
When you emasculate a man by overruling him regularly, he might stop offering input altogether.
3. He Seems Less Confident Around You
Has he become more hesitant or unsure of himself when you’re together? A drop in confidence can be another sign that he’s feeling emasculated. He might second-guess his actions or seek your approval more than usual. [Read: 44 signs of low self-esteem in a man, causes & how it feels dating him]
4. He Avoids Physical Intimacy
If he’s less inclined to initiate affection or seems uninterested in closeness, it could be because he’s feeling less masculine. A confident guy altogether is a confident guy in the bedroom.
A man who feels emasculated can impact how he connects physically. He might worry about rejection or feel that his efforts aren’t good enough.
5. He Becomes Defensive or Irritable
Is he irritable or defensive even on the littlest things? It can indicate that he’s feeling undermined. Small comments might trigger big reactions if he feels emasculated. He could be on edge because he’s interpreting feedback as criticism.
6. He Spends More Time Away from Home
Is he suddenly working late more often or hanging out with friends more than usual? This might be his way of avoiding situations where he feels emasculated.
Maybe he feels more respected and valued at work or in his hobbies, or just wanting to avoid the feeling. According to a study by Yale Review of Undergraduate Research in Psychology, we tend to distance ourselves when dealing with negative emotions. Seeking time away can be his coping mechanism.
7. He Loses Interest in His Passions
On the other hand, if he’s stepping back from hobbies or activities he used to love, he might be feeling less confident. Emasculating a man can lead him to doubt his abilities or interests, too. [Read: How to find your passion: Secrets to seek it in simple things]
8. He Agrees with You on Everything
While it might seem nice that he’s always on board with your ideas, constant agreement can be a red flag. He might feel that voicing his own opinions isn’t worth the potential conflict or that it will be rejected anyway. If you don’t value what he thinks and dismiss his views, he might stop sharing them.
9. He Stops Talking About the Future
If he’s hesitant to make plans or discuss long-term goals, he could be feeling uncertain about his place in your life. He might be doubting whether he’s meeting your expectations enough to be a part of your future.
Pay attention if he’s putting himself down or making jokes at his own expense. This can be a sign that he’s feeling insecure. He might be using humor to mask how he’s really feeling inside.
These comments, though they seem lighthearted, can hint at deeper issues with his self-esteem. Over time, this negative self-talk can take a toll on his confidence.
How to Help Him Feel Less Emasculated and Boost His Confidence
Emasculated men don’t feel unhappy. Unhappy men feel emasculated. It’s the simple truth.
If your man is happy with his life, proud of his achievements, and feels confident about his own abilities, he won’t feel emasculated even if you criticize him for not being man enough. His own ego will cushion the blow and he’ll still feel very much like the manly macho man he thinks he is. [Read: 25 compliments for guys they’ll never forget!]
Only when a man is down in the dirt and feels emasculated himself would any rude statements from you emasculate him further. So remember this, if your man feels emasculated or broken down, it’s not always your fault he feels like less of a man. But, don’t make the situation worse!
By avoiding saying things that emasculate him further and by giving him the emotional support, you can help him bounce back faster and become a better man all at once.
What you need to do is make sure that you’re not the one who’s accidentally making him feel worthless, by avoiding the things we’ve talked about so far. [Read: How to make your man happy: 30 ways to leave him smitten & hooked]
Here are a few ways you can boost your man’s morale and help him feel more like a man. Use these tips and he’ll be a happier guy and a better boyfriend or husband too!
1. Stop Treating Him Like a Child
Yelling at him like you would at a child will only emasculate him further. If there’s something that you want to talk about, talk to each other calmly and respectfully. Yelling at someone will only make him feel defensive, angry, or small.
At the same time, resist resorting to sarcasm when explaining or calrifying things that he doesn’t understand. Remember, he’s your partner and your equal. [Read: How to fight fair and better the relationship with each new disagreement]
2. Don’t Constantly Correct Him
When he talks about his bad day or tells you about a mistake he committed, don’t tell him what he could have done better.
Doing this stops communication because you’re already offering a solution when he wants to talk about the situation. Just listen to him, empathize with him, and offer suggestions without forcing them down his throat. He knows he screwed up, he knows there are a million things he could have done differently. Don’t make him feel worse about it.
3. Let Him Take the Lead
If it won’t hurt, allow him to take charge in certain situations. Whether it’s planning your next date night or fixing something around the house, giving him the opportunity to lead can boost his confidence.
It’s not about following traditional roles but about balancing things so both of you feel valued. You can also enjoy the activity without stressing about the planning; a win-win for the both of you!
4. Give Him Space
Give him some time off every week so he can go out or spend some time by himself. Help him have a social life with other men or subtly suggest he does something manly by asking him to help you fix something around the house. [Read: How to give space in a relationship and feel closer!]
5. Thank Him When He Offers to Help
A man will feel more like a man when his woman behaves like a lady around him. Be courteous to him, and when he does something for you he considers manly, like lifting something heavy, fixing a door, or opening the lid of a tight jar, thank him and compliment his strength or his manliness at the same time.
It’ll give him the macho boost he so badly craves from you. [Read: How to be a lady – 23 classy traits that awe her man and everyone else]
6. Shower Him with Genuine Compliments
Everyone loves to feel appreciated, and your guy is no exception. Let him know what you admire about him, whether it’s his sense of humor, his problem-solving skills, or how he treats others.
Genuine compliments can boost his confidence and counteract any feelings that emasculate a man. Make it a habit to acknowledge the little things he does that make a difference.
7. Help Him Improve but Make Sure He Thinks It’s His Idea
Make suggestions for him or help him become better at something he’s already good at. Motivate him without babying him.
Every time he succeeds at something, or achieves something through your motivation, he’ll be grateful to you and feel more like a man at the same time.
By doing this, you’re guiding him rather than pushing him. This makes it feel like it’s his own idea to do something, rather than you directing him all the time.
8. Communicate With Each Other
Open up and talk about each other’s failures and successes without being judgmental. And most importantly, empathize with your man and tell him clearly that you understand what he’s going through, and that you too would have been just as confused if you were in his place. [Read: The best ways to improve communication in a relationship]
By saying that, you’re comforting him and letting him know that it’s human to make mistakes, while offering suggestions at the same time. And no egos enter the picture here because you’re stating that you would have felt just as helpless as him if you were in his place. [Read: 25 perfect topics to talk about in a happy relationship]
Once he learns to communicate with you instead of feeling threatened or emasculated by you, he’ll only feel more confident about himself. He’ll also love you more for being the best thing to happen in his life!
9. Support His Passions
Show interest in his hobbies and the things that light him up. Whether he’s into sports, music, or cooking, your encouragement means a lot. By supporting his passions, you’re validating his interests and helping to eliminate actions that might emasculate a man. Maybe join him sometimes or simply cheer him on—either way, your support counts.
10. Plan Fun Activities Together
Create new memories by trying out fun activities as a couple. It could be anything from hiking a new trail to cooking a meal together. Shared experiences strengthen your bond and make both of you feel more connected.
11. Celebrate His Achievements
When he accomplishes something, big or small, make sure to celebrate it. Acknowledge his hard work and let him know you’re proud of him. This recognition boosts his self-esteem and counters any negative feelings that might emasculate a man. It’s all about being his biggest fan and cheering him on.
[Read: 30 must-follow rules for a successful relationship]
Help Your Man But Don’t Downplay Yourself For Him
You can help him become a better man by helping him remember his own achievements and by motivating him to be a better man. But you can’t change his attitude unless he decides to change it. While you can do your part in the relationship so he feels better about himself, it’s also important to remember to not downplay and keep yourself small for him.
[Read: 22 must-knows to motivate your unemployed partner without hurting them]
Do you feel like you emasculate your man in some way or another? Just keep these subtle things in mind. And most importantly, help your guy feel less emasculated by communicating with him. After all, love can only get better with communication!
