If you’re someone who likes a guy in charge, you’d probably like dating an alpha male. Being attracted to people who ooze power and authority isn’t an uncommon thing. However, it’s not always easy making a relationship with someone like this work.
What is an alpha male?
An alpha male is the type of guy who loves to be the boss. He’s in charge and he’s the one who makes decisions. Whether it’s in his job, relationship, or friendships, he’s the one calling the shots.
And that’s usually really attractive to certain women, for obvious reasons. A guy in charge is the type to take action and put effort into things. It’s sexy watching a guy get what he wants. It gives many people a very secure feeling. [Read: 20 alpha male characteristics to spot one right away]
Dating an alpha male and making it work
You might not always have the best time dating an alpha male, though. They sound great and seem sexy at first, but after a little while, you could start to see their dominance as bossiness. This isn’t always the best thing.
However, if you’ve fallen for someone who’s the alpha male, you’ll need some tips for making it work. Here are a few things for you to remember if you’re dating an alpha male.
#1 Don’t try to date one if you’re an alpha, too. A lot of people think they should go for someone who’s like them. They have a lot in common so, why not? The problem here is that your personalities are going to clash.
If you’re dominant and in charge and they’re also trying to be in charge, you’ll butt heads. You’ll both also get frustrated by feeling like your partner is trying to boss you around. If you have a very strong alpha personality, don’t try to date an alpha male. [Read: Why are you still dating the wrong person?]
#2 Don’t be a pushover. On the flip side, you also don’t want to be a very weak personality type. You’ll get stomped all over. You can’t be a pushover when dating an alpha male because they’ll literally run the entire relationship.
And that’s definitely not a good thing. You’ll be really unhappy this way because your opinions and ideas will just get lost beneath the alpha male’s. Plus, he won’t really like that either because stomping all over you won’t make him feel like he’s in charge. It’ll just feel like you don’t have any backbone, which isn’t attractive.
#3 Don’t let them get away with mistreatment. Some alpha males are known for being bad boyfriends and partners. Not all, obviously, but these types of guys get bad reputations for a reason. Because they have such pushy personalities, it’s easy to just let them do what they want simply because it’s hard for you to stand up to them.
But you have to. In order for the relationship to work, he needs to respect you. And that means if he’s ever acting like a dick due to his dominant personality, you have to put him in his place. [Read: How self-respect affects you and your relationship]
#4 Challenge him sometimes. Just because a guy is an alpha male doesn’t mean he doesn’t want to be challenged. In fact, he’ll probably love to be challenged with some things. Just make sure you don’t try to do this in front of his friends.
Instead, do it with a topic of conversation. So you’re not challenging his authority but rather, you’re challenging his view on a specific topic. This will help keep him interested because otherwise, he’ll be bored.
#5 Let him know it’s okay to be vulnerable with you. Guys who are always the alpha in the room tend to need a place to break down. Maintaining that control all the time is really difficult. If they feel like they always have to be this tough guy around you too, he’ll be very unhappy.
So while you still have to boost his alpha ego, you also want to show him it’s okay to not be this super put together, in-charge person. Let him break down while also still treating him like an alpha at the same time. [Read: How to be emotionally available so you can actually find love]
#6 Don’t embarrass him in front of his friends or coworkers. This is a major thing to remember if you want your relationship with an alpha male to work out. Never put him down or embarrass him in front of the people he’s close to.
Sure, you can laugh and joke around but any serious digs will make him very upset. He’s the authority guy, remember? He won’t like having others look at him as something lower.
#7 Just go with the flow. If you sit and question his every motive, he’ll get pretty annoyed. Alpha males like to do what they want. If you can’t just go with the follow and follow his lead, your relationship will be a struggle.
Show him you can be up for anything at a moment’s notice. He’ll see you as really fun and like a person he can do a lot of interesting things with last minute. Both of those are attractive qualities for an alpha male. [Read: 13 charming ways to be more approachable to guys]
#8 Be blunt about the things bothering you. Don’t play hard to get or give him the silent treatment. An alpha male won’t like it. These types of guys just want you to come right out and say it.
If something he did bothered you, wait until you’re alone and just say so. If he has to guess what he’s done because you seem cranky at him, he’ll get irritated. Tell him how you feel and talk it out.
#9 Talk about deep topics. These types of guys want a challenge. They don’t just want to sit and discuss the weather. He wants you to talk to him about some deeper topics. Bring up some controversial news, ask what he thinks about it, and have a real, deep discussion about those things. He’ll admire this part of you. [Read: 30 deep questions to ask someone before you get in too far]
#10 Don’t let them intimidate you. I get it. Dating an alpha male can be a little scary simply because they do carry themselves with so much dominance. But you can’t let that intimidate you. If you do, you’ll end up looking like a sheepish person and that’s something alpha men don’t particularly like.
[Read: 15 ways to unleash your inner alpha female]
Dating an alpha man isn’t for everyone. Make sure you’re ready to handle a lot before jumping in with someone like that. These tips will help you work out the kinks and have a great time with the dominant type.
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