Dating a Younger Man: 8 Pros and Cons to Make Up Your Mind
Have you considered dating a younger man? Are you falling in love with one? Read the good and the bad sides to know if you’re actually ready for it.
As you’ve in all likelihood come to notice, people often tend to be romantically interested in others within their own age group.
That being said, men dating women five or even seven years younger has generally been accepted, while a woman dating a man more than a year younger than them has been looked upon as quite odd.
Recently though, as women have become more socially, psychologically, and sexually liberated, some have begun to ignore social prejudices by dating younger men, sometimes with that five to seven year age gap between themselves and their partners.
Should you date a younger man?
If you see or hear of one of these unconventional couples, your first instinct might be to giggle and make jokes about “robbing the cradle” or “cougars,” but is an older woman dating a younger man really so bad?
Let’s take a look at the main reasons why you may want to consider a younger man for a significant other, as well as reasons why not.
The big benefits of dating a younger man
#1 Younger men are often more physically driven. Younger people, in general, have more physical energy. While there won’t be much difference in energy level between a 20-year-old and a 25-year-old, or a 25-year-old and a 30-year-old, once you get past the early thirties, you may see some notable differences.
It is commonly accepted by several studies that men tend to age a bit more quickly than women, so if you’re a woman in her thirties who is fitter than average, you may find that the men your age or a little older just can’t keep up with you.
A man five or so years younger may be more capable of going as many rounds in the bedroom as you desire, and may be more inclined to hit the streets for a quick jog more often too! *Disclaimer: For the very fit older men out there, your existence is recognized – this is just generally speaking!* [Read: 20 personality traits that make the perfect ideal man]
#2 Younger men normally have fewer responsibilities. Older men often have responsibilities such as kids or a stressful job to worry about, but the younger you go, the less likely these aspects of life will be a factor.
If you date a younger man who hasn’t got around to having kids yet, you won’t have to worry about any potentially awkward introductions, especially if you have your own children. Your man having less responsibility at work may mean he’ll be more likely to respond to a spontaneous request for a date, or be able to take off early for a weekend getaway without being concerned about what he’s left behind at the office. [Read: 9 things you can’t overlook when you date a single parent]
He also may not have purchased a home yet, something that tends to take up time and energy. And if you’re still renting too, you two may become first-time homebuyers together someday.
#3 Younger men are less likely to be cynical. If the man you’re dating is a few years younger than you, then unless you’ve had far less relationship experience than others your age, he likely hasn’t dated as many people in a serious manner.
Older men who have been through one or two marriages and divorces, or even the breakup of several long-term romances often become cynical about relationships in general, although they still desire companionship.
Some may be quite suspicious of you, expecting that you’ll do something that an ex did, or they may not put as much effort into a relationship as they would have in the past, making it seem like they don’t care very much. After dating a few guys with these attitudes *once again, it’s recognized that not all older men are like this*, the almost naïve enthusiasm for love that a younger man is likely to have may be refreshing. [Read: 22 big early warning signs of a bad boyfriend]
#4 Younger men may worship the ground that you walk on. While outsiders sometimes sneer at an older woman/younger man partnership, the man himself often gets a surge of self-confidence due to the fact that he was able to “snag” an older woman, especially if his friends are giving him kudos for it.
Therefore, to make sure you continue to be satisfied with the relationship, your man may offer to do you special favors inside the bedroom and out, frequently buy you gifts, and sing your praises to everyone he meets.
However, make sure you don’t stay with a younger guy you aren’t really into just for these perks, as that’s pretty shallow. Furthermore, if you don’t enjoy this special attention, or you feel like he’s dating you just for the ego boost, it’s time to have a talk with him. [Read: 7 signs he’s only using you for all the wrong reasons]
The annoying drawbacks of dating a younger man
#1 Younger men may act childish. One drawback to dating a younger man is that he may be less mature than you. For instance, if you’re 30 and you’re dating a 24-year-old, he may enjoy playing video games for hours with his buddies and drinking until he’s sick at a local pub, while you left that stuff behind in college *which he likely recently emerged from* and have moved on to more classy pastimes.
This difference in preferred activities doesn’t have to be a deal breaker though. As long as he doesn’t carpet your living room with beer cans, pizza boxes, and game consoles, or embarrass you in public, a relationship may still work out. After all, you can use his gaming time to do something you enjoy solo.
#2 Younger men can be clueless when it comes to relationships. Although they tend to be less cynical, there’s commonly a negative side to men who lack relationship experience too.
A guy with little relationship experience may not know how to deal properly with conflicts. He may blow up during a fight, or give you the cold shoulder after a disagreement, instead of trying to work things out calmly and maturely. He may also make minor social gaffes, such as flirting with other girls while you’re in the room or texting too much while you two are having dinner with your family.
Depending on how much mileage he’s racked up outside of relationships, he may be fumbly in bed and require you to teach him things. Of course, if you enjoy that, more power to you! [Read: 50 questions on relationship compatibility you need to ask yourself]
#3 Younger men sometimes lack full-time employment. If you’re dating a younger guy who’s still in school or has recently graduated, he may not have a job, or at least not one that allows him to fully support himself. The lack of time he spends at work will make him more available to spend time with you, but you may spend the majority of your nights together snuggling in front of the television, because he won’t have the money to pay for expensive dates *even if you offer to split the bill*.
If this is the case, you should look for cheap or free things to do in your city that both of you can afford. Someday he’ll have a better job, and you’ll be able to enjoy the finer things in life again. If your man doesn’t seem to be taking any steps toward establishing a solid career, though, consider moving on, he may just want a sugar mama. [Read: Does he really love you? – 20 clear signs to know the real truth]
#4 Younger man/older woman couples may be judged by their elders. Even though this particular combination is becoming much more common, especially amongst the younger generation in general, there are some traditionalists who still believe that a man should be at least the same age as his significant other.
If your parents or grandparents are part of that group, they may be surprised or even dismayed to find out that your boyfriend is younger than you. Of course, you don’t have to announce his exact age when you introduce him to your family, but it may be discovered eventually, especially if he looks visibly younger.
If you’ve got a strong bond with your man though, this shouldn’t be a huge problem. And a relationship that can’t withstand a little outside opposition may not be one worth keeping. [Read: 5 lessons to remember while dealing with judgmental people]
Would you date a younger guy?
Based on this information, do you think you’d be able to date a younger guy? Perhaps you already are, and it’s going swimmingly. It’s really not as big of a deal as society’s made it out to be in the past – all it may require are a few minor adjustments on your part, and likely a few on his, too.
If you don’t end up experiencing any of the common issues described above with your younger man, you’re incredibly lucky! You’ve landed yourself a diamond in the rough.
On the other hand, if you have to deal with all these and then some, without any of the perks, maybe you’ve got yourself a bad egg who would behave in the same way regardless of age.
Ultimately though, these are just guidelines to help you decide if you should date a younger man or plan something that’s long-term with him. Give these a thought, and remember that at the end of the day, it’s your happiness and your love life that matters, not idle opinions and raised eyebrows!