20 Signs He Doesn’t Want a Relationship with You & Just Wants Fun

So you like a guy, but he might not want anything serious. Learn the signs he doesn’t want a relationship with you and avoid heartbreak.

Signs He Doesn't Want a Relationship with You

When it comes to dating, it’s not easy. No one tells you how difficult it is to find someone who not only likes you but wants the same things as you. The signs he doesn’t want a relationship with you will help you see the future of your relationship. Just because he likes you doesn’t mean he automatically wants a relationship.

He might just want something fun and casual to begin with, which is the opposite of what you want. But how can you really tell if he doesn’t care about having a relationship with you? Well, guys aren’t as complex as you might assume. [Read: 20 probable reasons why a guy may just not like you back]

Why do some guys not want anything serious?

It can be difficult to distinguish when guys want something serious versus when they want something casual. But why do many guys tend to stick to something casual? This doesn’t go for all guys, but for those who don’t want a commitment, maybe they just got out of a relationship.

When you commit to someone, you can’t go in halfway. You need to exert your time and energy into the relationship to make it work. So the reason why some guys shy away from anything serious is when they’re just not ready for that kind of obligation, no matter the reason behind it. [Read: He likes you but doesn’t want a relationship? How to deal with it]

How to see the signs he doesn’t want a relationship with you

If you want a relationship and you’re unsure of what he wants, speak up. Of course, you probably want some signs to see if you can read what he wants. And that’s a good idea.

By knowing the signs, you’ll get a sense of what he’s looking for. Next, sit down and talk to him about your relationship and where it’s going. Don’t waste any more time. [Read: 17 sordid signs you’re just a hookup and nothing more]

1. He’s mentioned he’s not looking for anything serious

If he’s told you that he’s not looking for anything serious; this isn’t him trying to trick you. If he’s said this, it’s because that’s what he’s looking for. Don’t interpret it as anything else. Women love interpreting guys’ words into something else, or perhaps you just think you can change his mind.

If he’s mentioned more than once that a commitment isn’t what he’s after, then he means it. Don’t try to make it anything other than what it is. [Read: What does casual dating mean to a guy?]

2. You don’t feel comfortable around him

You already know he doesn’t want a relationship; you just don’t want to accept the truth. You wouldn’t be reading this if you were feeling completely comfortable and in love.

Before even getting to this article, you already know in your gut that he wants something casual. If you don’t feel like yourself around him, there’s usually a deeper reason why this is the case.

3. He doesn’t try to know you

It’s pretty evident that when a guy doesn’t bother to know you, it’s one of the signs he doesn’t want a relationship with you. It may sound silly, but when someone likes you, they want to know who you are. Why? Because if they’re thinking about a future with you, they want to know as much as they can.

If he tries his hardest to stick to light and easy topics, and he never reveals anything personal about himself, it’s because this is all just casual to him. [Read: Is he a player or a gentleman? 13 clear giveaways]

4. He doesn’t open up around you

When someone trusts and has feelings for you, they’re going to open up emotionally. Taking that step forward and being vulnerable shows they’re comfortable around you and want the relationship to develop further.

This is connected to the previous point, so if he’s not willing to be vulnerable with you, even if it’s just a minor detail, it’s because he doesn’t want to commit. He’s trying to put himself at an arm’s length so things don’t get messy when he wither ghosts you or leaves you. It’s all just a fling – at least for him. [Read: What does it mean to be vulnerable? 15 ways you can open up more]

5. He’s flaky

If a guy is serious about you, he’s not going to behave like this. If you value someone, you’re going to make them a priority. But if he’s flaky, it’s one of the clearest signs he doesn’t want a relationship with you, and that you’re not as important to him as you think.

It shows that you can’t rely upon or trust him when push comes to shove. [Read: The troubling signs he’s losing interest in you and may walk away soon]

6. You don’t go on actual dates

You’ll go over to his place for Netflix and chill night, or he’ll come over to your place for a sleepover, but you don’t go on dates together. The only thing he’s interested in is getting the physical aspect from you. When it comes to developing both mental and emotional intimacy, he either bails or deflects the conversation.

He only cares about the things he benefits from. This is one of the concrete signs he doesn’t want a relationship with you. Even if you’ve been seeing one another for a while, you never go on real dates. [Read: What does friends with benefits mean to a guy: Do guys get hooked?]

7. He doesn’t want to label the relationship

Well, this is a huge red flag. If he doesn’t want to label the relationship or call you his girlfriend, he’s not into being in a relationship, at least not with you. This should be one of the obvious signs that he doesn’t want a relationship with you – when he doesn’t put any label on your relationship.

For him, you’re just “having fun” or “taking things slow,” so you already know that it’s an automatic red flag if this is the case. If he wanted you to be his girlfriend, he would make you his girlfriend. [Read: What are we? How to get your crush to label your relationship]

8. He disappears

You will talk for a couple of days then he disappears. He doesn’t answer your texts, or he’ll bail on your plans. And just when you’re sure he’s not coming around, he pops back up again. Remember what we said about being flaky?

If he wanted a relationship with you, he’d try his best to earn your trust and most especially, your heart. He knows exactly what he’s doing so we assure you, he didn’t just “forget to call you.” [Read: Why do guys ghost? 15 real reasons guys turn into cowardly pricks]

9. He doesn’t make time for you

If someone likes you, they’ll spend as much time with you as possible. But if you struggle to spend one day or night a week with him, that’s not a good sign.

When a guy does everything to spend even just a portion of his time with you, then he’s serious about you. If not, then it’s one of the obvious signs he doesn’t want a relationship with you. [Read: The 14 signs a guy is drifting away from you]

10. He doesn’t make future plans with you

Why else would a guy avoid talking about the future if not for wanting to stick to a casual relationship? He just wants to have fun and keep things light, so talking about the future isn’t interesting for him. We’re not talking about the marriage kind of future, but this includes plans for the weekend or holiday plans.

If you don’t plan for the summer or talk about where you see yourselves in six months, he’s not into you, if he was, he’d be making plans with you.

11. You haven’t met his friends or family

Uh oh. Okay, wait. If you just met, we understand why you haven’t met his friends or family yet. It’s too soon for that. But if you’ve been dating for a couple of months, at the very least, you should have met a friend. If you haven’t met any of his loved ones, ask why that is.

It just means that he doesn’t want them to meet you because he knows you won’t be anything serious. It stings, we know, but it’s the brutal truth. [Read: 18 signs it’s time and ways to prepare your partner to meet the parents]

12. He only texts you

When it comes to communication, you don’t talk on the phone. The only way you communicate is through texting… that’s it. You don’t even have one another’s socials *and he made sure of that, so you don’t get to know him more*.

If you’ve never had a phone call together and only stick to texting, it’s one of the signs he doesn’t want a relationship with you. Even if you do text, he takes forever to send a text back. Clearly, you’re not that important to him. [Read: He likes you but doesn’t want a relationship with you? Here’s how to deal with it]

13. You don’t trust him

Our gut instinct is a powerful thing, so don’t avoid listening to your gut. There’s something about him you don’t trust, and you can’t pinpoint what it is exactly.

Whether you’re together or apart, you always doubt his intentions. Unless you’ve always been insecure, the signs point directly to him wanting different things than you do. [Read: How to get over trust issues in your relationship and move forward]

14. He talks a big game but doesn’t follow through

He’ll text you that he misses you but won’t make time to see you. Of course, when he tells you these things, it feels nice, but what are his actions? Actions speak louder than words, so when finding out what his intentions are, observe his actions.

If he always manages to say flowery and sweet words to you but never matches it with his behavior and actions, that’s because he’s not that into you—end of story. [Read: Why men pull away – The reasons and what you can do]

15. You feel he’s not interested in a relationship

Deep down, you know what’s going on. You just don’t want to accept the truth. But your gut instinct is telling you this guy doesn’t want the same as you do.

So, what are you waiting for? You’re just wasting your energy and time on a guy that’s just interested in having fun and keeping it casual, so better to move on and find someone better * he’s not a loss anyway*. [Read: 10 guys to stop dating if you want real love]

16. He never listens to you

It’s straightforward to tell if a guy refuses to listen to you and just pretends to. So if he doesn’t listen to any of your rants or stories, and his mind is obviously elsewhere, he’s not into you.

The fact that he doesn’t even bother trying to listen is one of the signs he doesn’t want a relationship with you. [Read: 10 ways to be a better listener in your relationship]

17. He only meets up for sex

If a guy doesn’t want anything serious with you, he’ll stick to a no-strings-attached kind of relationship. He’ll only be interested in physical intimacy and nothing more.

Of course, if he already told you this from the start and you failed to listen, this is on you. But if not, then observe the frequency of when you meet up. If he only agrees to meet up to hook up, then there’s your answer. [Read: How to have a no strings attached relationship]

18. He’s always talking to other girls

This should be such an obvious indicator! If his phone is always filled with other girls texting him and calling him, it’s one of the signs he doesn’t want a relationship with you. He’s clearly having fun dating around without the promise of commitment, and you’re just one of the girls he happened to come across.

19. There’s always an excuse

When you ask him when you’ll be together officially, there’s always an excuse. Maybe he’s even used every line in the book on you, just to get out of you asking again.

If he’s ever used “what’s the rush?” or “we’re still getting to know each other” on you, they’re just some of the many excuses he has up his sleeve for every time you ask again. The point is, he’s always going to a line prepared.  [Read: 6 big telltale excuses that get you nowhere!]

20. He’s already let you down before

If a guy is really into you, he’ll care about letting you down, disappointing you, and most importantly, breaking your heart. So if he’s already let you down multiple times before and you keep letting him, that’s already a red flag he isn’t into you.

Even if he does have feelings for you, they’re not strong enough to make him commit to just you. He’s too busy having fun to care about letting you down. He’ll probably say sorry unapologetically *and keep repeating it*. [Read: He won’t commit but he won’t let go. What should you do now?]

Are you seeing any of these signs he doesn’t want a relationship with you?

If you already feel in your gut that he doesn’t care about anything serious with you, why bother? If a guy was into you, then you’d feel his intentions and feelings through his body language, actions, and behavior. If not, he’s not going to care if he keeps letting you down and ditching your plans unless it benefits him.

[Read: How to enjoy being single and lessons singledom can teach]

No one said love was easy, but that doesn’t mean you should tolerate someone who doesn’t treat you as you deserve. So here are the 20 signs he doesn’t want a relationship with you – be wary!

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Natasha Ivanovic
Natasha Ivanovic is an intimacy, dating, and relationship writer best known for her writings on Kiiroo, LovePanky, Post Pravda, and more. She's the creator and ...
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