65 Perks & Problems of Dating an Older Man and Secrets to Attract & Date Him

If you are sick of young guys who only want to hook up, you’re probably wondering what it’s like to date an older man. Here is everything you need to know.

Dating an Older Man

You must admit, older men have a unique appeal that younger guys just don’t have. Unlike younger guys, who are all into the excitement and the thrill of dating, older men take a slower, yet better, thoughtful approach. 

He doesn’t woo you with free drinks at the hottest bar in town. Instead, he’ll take you out to a rustic little hole-in-the-wall restaurant with a quartet playing in the background.

When you reach a point where you think that all the guys your age have nothing to offer you, you may start setting your sights on someone who’s more refined, more sophisticated, and definitely more mature. 

It would be a refreshing change from all these man-children who are running around, not knowing what to do with their lives. [Read: May December relationship – 22 truths, problems, and why it works so well]

How much older is too old? 

People often wonder what the acceptable minimum and maximum age for a dating partner are. While it is different for everyone, there is a general rule of thumb that some people adhere to.

And that “rule” is half your age plus seven rule. In other words, if a man divides his age in half, then adds seven years to it, that is the socially acceptable minimum age he should date.

So, if a man is 50, half his age would be 25, and adding 7 years would make his minimum age acceptable for dating a 32-year-old woman. [Read: Age gaps – the new trend in relationships]

But keep in mind, that is just a socially acceptable rule. After all, let’s not forget Anna Nicole Smith, who married a 90-year-old billionaire man when she was only 26.

As for the maximum age that a woman should date, typically, they say to subtract 7 years from her age and double that number. So, if a woman is 27, subtract 7, which is 20. And times it by two, and you get 40 as the maximum age for a man.

However, this is all speculative. Each couple is unique and has its own standards. [Read: Dating age rule – what’s an acceptable age gap for a couple?]

Misconceptions about older men dating younger women

Let’s admit it. We have all pre-judged an old-guy-young-woman couple at least once in our lives. 

You might see a pair hanging out in a café with overt evidence that they are together. The father-daughter excuse wouldn’t work this time.

You may wonder why an older man, with so much life experience, would consider dating a younger woman. [Read: Trophy wife – what it is, 22 ways be one and why all men desire one]

Is it for the sake of keeping company with someone adventurous, energetic, and full of fresh perspectives? Or is it to keep his rickety bones fresh, his craggy mind running, and his bed consumed with passion?

Maybe some of these misconceptions are true *in some cases*, but then again, we can all blame bad Hollywood tropes for these kinds of ideas.

1. The older guy is only in it for sex

It is easy to assume this since we get the idea that a younger woman equals a younger, more desirable physical figure. [Read: Is he a player or a gentleman? The clear giveaways you need to know]

However, as men grow older, they tend to look for more meaningful relationships that provide emotional security, intimacy, and more time for bonding activities.

Sex is the least of their concerns–not that they’re having a “hard” time getting it up, but it is mostly younger men in their twenties who place sex in the top three on their priorities list. 

Older men look for keepers, not sexual flings. If they did, they could have settled for an escort service rather than a relationship. [Read: Is he into you for all the wrong reasons?]

2. The younger woman is only in it for the money

This comes from generations of bad stereotypes where the financially-challenged young girl uses her charms to seduce an old, dying billionaire to get to the good stuff when he dies. 

This is pretty unfounded since relationships with a large age gap aren’t exclusive to septuagenarian one-percenters.

For women, dating an older man comes with a lot of benefits other than money. [Read: 34 VERY desirable traits men want, like, and find attractive in a woman]

An older guy has more life experience, so he’s pretty sure about himself and won’t go through the jitters and indecision younger men experience.

We tend to forget that women are capable of establishing their own finances and don’t need a rich, older man to provide for them.

3. The relationship won’t last long

This is a common misconception brought about by the first two items. On the contrary, there are thousands of successful relationships wherein the man is older than the woman.

Why? Because both parties are looking for keepers. Imagine the reasons why younger relationships fall apart: lack of time, cheating, constant arguing, insecurities–you name it.

Younger women find less emotional baggage in older men who have gone through and made amends with their insecurities long ago; on the other hand, older men are fascinated with the youthful energy and fun-loving character that younger women bring into their lives. 

A perfect match. [Read: When does the age gap in a relationship start to matter?]

4. Older guys who are attracted to younger women are perverts

No, as long as the guy is attracted to a woman of legal age. This misconception brought about the “dirty old man” trope that has plagued our consciousness for a long time. No, he’s not only there for sex.

You’d be surprised by how much better older men treat their partners in comparison to younger men. 

Older men give better attention, do not throw tantrums and fits, and would rather spend their time bonding with their significant others than hanging out with their buddies and video game consoles. [Read: How to talk about sex without sounding like a pervert]

5. Dating younger women is a pain in the ass

While it may be true that younger women are prone to outbursts or mood swings during their youth, older men are usually mature enough to understand these shifts, while younger men might not be. 

It is also another good reason why young women prefer older men: otherwise, old men would not be dating younger women at all.

It is a common misconception that younger women are emotional wrecks and will drive you nuts with their whining and other superficial demands, when in fact, the benefits outweigh the downsides of this type of relationship. [Read: Dating a younger woman? Things an older man should know]

As the saying goes, “love knows no age.” There is nothing wrong with dating someone who is younger than you, no matter how other people see it. 

To each their own. If you are happy with your current relationship, pursue it and enjoy it.

Don’t let words or misguided misconceptions dictate your love life. Maybe they’re just jealous that you’re happy–and that validates your relationship more than you can imagine. [Read: 16 most common dating problems of twentysomething women]

Problems with dating an older man

Now that we have talked about all the misconceptions surrounding older-man-younger-women couples, let’s talk about the not-so-glamorous parts of dating an older man. Sure, you might think you know them already. 

But do you really? Here are some things you might not have thought about if you actually do attract an older man.

1. His children

If the man is older than you, then there is a good chance that he will have children. [Read: Dating a man with kids – the things you need to be prepared for]

Depending on how old he is, they could be school-aged, or they could be full-grown adults with their own lives. Either one has its drawbacks.

If he has school-aged kids, are you prepared to deal with them? Are you mentally and emotionally prepared for the fact that he may put his kids before you? 

And if you are, do you think you can handle the stepmom role for those children? [Read: Dad bod – what it is, the appeal, and ways to get soft and sexy]

If he has adult children, have you considered the fact that they might be closer to your age than he is? This could be quite awkward for you and for the “kids.” 

They might have a big problem with their father dating a much younger woman – one that could be their sister age-wise.

2. Has he been married?

Most older men have been married before. And some of them have been married two, three, or even four times. In your pursuit to attract an older man, are you prepared to deal with the ex-wife *or ex-wives?* [Read: Dating a divorced man? The tough truths to make it work]

You never know how they are going to impact his life. They could be nice people, or they could be a green-eyed monster who is jealous of your youth.

Being the new, young, hot chick in his life might not be as fun as it sounds if he doesn’t have a good relationship with his ex(es). 

A relationship with an older man does not exist in isolation. You will have to accept him with all of his baggage. [Read: 50 signs a man is falling deeply in love with you and he can’t help himself]

3. Does he want marriage again?

There are a lot of older people who have been divorced. Some want to get married again, but a lot don’t. 

They have the “been there, done that” kind of attitude. They probably had a bad experience and don’t think that marriage as an institution is something they want to participate in again.

He might just want to have a hot young girlfriend and travel without being tied down by a ring. [Read: The mind of a sugar daddy, what girls expect from him and the things he knows]

At this time in his life, he might just want to have fun and will expect you to just be okay with it. So, are you okay with that? You need to ask yourself that.

4. If he wants marriage, what about a prenup?

Let’s say he does agree to the marriage. Is he doing that because he really wants to marry you? 

Or have you been pestering him so much about it that he’s just doing it to shut you up or make you happy? [Read: A girl’s guide to snagging a rich boyfriend or sugar daddy]

If he agrees to get married, don’t be surprised if he wants a prenuptial agreement. In other words, you might not get a whole lot of his assets if you ever get divorced. 

Are you willing to sign that? Some women are insulted by it because it’s like he’s preparing for divorce even before you get married. But if he’s rich and divorced, you can’t blame him for wanting to protect his money this time.

5. Has he NOT been married? 

This is another thing that could be a red flag when it comes to dating or attracting an older man. What if the man has never been married? [Read: Is he afraid of commitment? 30 signs he’s scared of a real relationship]

You might think, “so what?” But you have to think of the possible reasons why he has never committed to anyone.

Maybe he hates commitment, and if so, he won’t want to commit to you regardless of how awesome you are. 

You might think you can convince him, but the fact that he’s still not married after all these years says something – and not necessarily something good. [Read: Commitment phobia – 15 signs a guy is just not ready to commit]

6. Does he want more children?

If you’re of child-bearing age and you want to settle down and have a family, the older man might not be your guy. 

If he already has children – especially if they are grown adults – the chances of him wanting to start over are very small.

Even if he says he wants more children, is he telling the truth or just saying that to make you happy at the moment? [Read: 26 different types of relationships to predict your romantic life and future]

And if you do have children with him, he might be 80 years old by the time they graduate high school. He’ll be the “old dad” and might not be up to coaching all of their sports teams.

7. Grew up in different eras

You know how sometimes you can’t relate to your parents because they grew up in a totally different era than you? 

They probably didn’t have cell phones or the internet when they were kids. They listen to different music and watched different TV shows when there were only three channels to choose from. [Read: Dating age rule – what’s an acceptable age gap for a couple?]

Well, you will have the same problem when it comes to dating or attracting an older man. 

Chances are that he won’t be able to relate to Snapchat, TikTok, and Hulu. He will tell you stories of where he was when 9/11 happened or when the space shuttle blew up. 

This is probably ancient history to you, but for him, it will be like it happened yesterday. [Read: 25 common male insecurities men have that women have no idea about]

8. Longevity of the relationship

When you are dating or married to an older man, you have to think about the fact that he will die before you. 

We know this sounds morbid, but it’s just the mathematical truth. So, if and when that happens, you could still be relatively young – like in your 40s or 50s.

Then you will be single and alone someday and have to go through the dating process all over again at that age. True, anyone can die at any time, but the chances of an older person going before you are pretty good. [Read: Having heavy shoulders – the pitfalls of dating a widower]

9. He will look old someday 

This might sound shallow, but he could be a totally hot older man right now. Maybe he’s in his 40s, 50s, or even 60s. 

He might take really good care of himself and look younger than his age. But eventually, it will catch up to him.

If you are with the older man for decades, you will still look good, and he will look like an old man. [Read: Does age difference in relationships matter?]

Maybe you’re fine with that because you love him. But maybe you’ll be looking at all your friends who are with younger men and be envious someday. 

Benefits of dating an older man

While dating older men was originally considered taboo and looked upon negatively, it has become more of a norm these days. And there are some advantages to it for some women.

As people age, they want different things in relationships. When women grow older, they desire partners who offer them not only financial stability but emotional maturity, as well. [Read: Little secrets women should know about men]

Many women believe age brings wisdom. Perhaps they learned that dating men within their age group leads to bumps in the road. 

Studies show a great number of men mature emotionally in their early forties, which makes them less likely to commit early on.

Here are some of the reasons dating an older man may do you some good. [Read: 75 huge signs to know if a guy likes you and secrets to make him like you more]

1. He’s more secure

It may be a given that the older man ranks a lot higher on the career ladder than guys your age. He may even be the head of his own company. 

This means that when it comes to money, he’s got no problem. But other than money, he is also more secure when it comes to his emotions.

He’s well past the days of reckless abandon and oscillating emotions. Instead, he’s at the point where he’s more certain of what he feels about himself and life in general. [Read: When does a man emotionally mature? 19 signs he’s grown a real pair]

This means that you won’t be getting any more episodes of “I’m not sure if I like-you-like-you, but I want you around.” Nope, the older man will just outright say what he feels.

2. He has learned from his previous relationships

Depending on how much older your older guy is, he has already had his fair share of dating experience under his belt. He already knows that different women have different quirks.

Some women may be more vocal, more emotional, more tolerant, more relaxed, or more sexual than others. [Read: Sure ways to know you’re dating a real gentleman]

He accepts this, and this helps mold his dating philosophy. What this means for you is that he’s better able to understand what makes you tick.

3. He knows more about sex

Older often means wiser, and wiser means he’s got a couple of tricks up his sleeve, right? He’s ahead of you in the game, so he’s probably got some high-level moves that you’ve never heard of. 

And since he’s not up to date on the latest trends when it comes to getting all worked up, you may be surprised that he’s got a couple of old-school moves that you never thought you’d enjoy. [Read: Big issues on a man’s mind when it comes to having sex]

On a side note, so what if he needs a little pharmaceutical help to get started? That just means he’s willing to go all in, just so he can please you!

4. He’s more patient with you

Your older guy has probably dated someone your age back in the day. He’s familiar with the mood swings and sudden impulses of twentysomething women. This means he already has some idea of what to expect from you.

And unlike a younger guy who’s more likely to fight with you over your little quirks, the older man knows when he needs to back off and just give you some space. [Read: Do you have the patience for dating, or are you frustrated by it?]

5. He knows how to get what he wants

He’s been through more years of life than you. He’s had more disappointments and failures in life. In all of the times he has failed, he knows how he managed to get back up and get what he wants. 

Younger guys may not be sure how to get something or someone they want. Heck, they may not even be so sure about what they want in the first place. But with older men, he’s had years to try and test his technique.

Don’t take this to mean that he would be manipulative. We’re not saying that. We’re saying that an older man has more knowledge when it comes to the different means of getting what he wants. [Read: How to attract an alpha male – 20 secrets to date him and keep him hooked]

For instance, he may know that simply saying sorry for arguing with you won’t work. But from his experience, he knows that women like you may be wooed by an item that reflects your interests, such as a rare book or a vinyl record. 

Once he hands that to you as a peace offering, he knows that the odds are in his favor that you’d forgive him.

6. He’s not overly emotional or jealous

Remember how we started off the list with the fact that most older men are more secure in themselves? [Read: 17 big signs of a jealous and possessive boyfriend]

This is because we know for a fact that there have been other women who have fallen for him and stroked his ego. What he needs now isn’t someone to stroke his ego but someone whose company he can enjoy.

This is the reason he’s not overly jealous. He’s secure in the fact that you like him for who he is and not just some flimsy reason that goes out the window the minute a hot guy passes by. 

He knows he’s more established than some hot young guy who might just catch your eye, so he doesn’t feel the need to be threatened by them. [Read: Giveaways of an emotionally unavailable man]

7. He’s more cultured

While the younger guys you’re used to dating may be into the latest heavy metal band or the coolest hip-hop dance moves, the older man’s tastes would be considered more timeless. 

We’re not saying he’s stuck in the past or anything. We’re saying that he may be into things that have stood the test of time and are still constantly being refined.

For instance, the older man would be more likely to be into art, acclaimed cinematic masterpieces, and music that even the younger generation can still enjoy today.

He’s had more years than you to refine his tastes, and refined them he definitely has. [Read: Surefire ways to know you’re dating a real gentleman]

8. He tends to be better at communication

He doesn’t want to waste time deciphering cryptic texts and reading emojis like they’re hieroglyphics. If there’s something he wants to say, he’ll say it in as crystal clear a manner as he can muster. 

He would also expect you to do the same. So, in a way, he’d be less inclined to encourage you to communicate in a way that’s open to being misunderstood.

Take the example of a common conversation between two people who aren’t quite dating. They’d probably say things like, “I’ll call you” or “let’s play it by ear.” [Read: Signs you’re dating a real keeper]

With an older guy, he’d want to get rid of the ambiguity and just say what’s on his mind, like, “I’ll call you tonight” or “I’d like us to have dinner next week.” 

Now wouldn’t that be a refreshing change from all the wishy-washy mixed messages other guys send?

9. He may be looking to settle down

This is great news for the ladies out there who are tired of dating and just want security and stability with a guy they like. Older men may be tired of the dating game. [Read: Happily ever after – the psychological benefits of marriage and commitment]

He’s not looking for the next fling to keep his bed warm for a couple of days. He’s looking for someone he can share his life with. A guy can only go so far without a loving woman by his side.

What do older guys want in younger women? 

A lot of older women are wondering why men their age prefer dating younger women. There are a lot of reasons, but here are some common ones:

1. A woman who makes him feel young again

No one really enjoys aging. Let’s face it – it’s more fun to be young, attractive, and adventurous. [Read: Biggest signs of midlife crisis for a man and what causes them]

So, a lot of older men think that dating a younger woman will bring them back to the time in their lives when they were at their peak. They want to re-live their youth.

2. A woman who makes him feel wanted and attractive

If an older man was married for a long time *and is not divorced*, his wife might have lost the sexual spark for him. And maybe they hardly had a sex life at all.

So, he wants to feel attractive and wanted again by a woman. He thinks that a younger one will be more likely to give him more sex. [Read: How to make a guy feel needed and wanted – 17 secrets to happy love]

3. A woman who doesn’t necessarily need marriage and wants to have fun

If an older man’s attitude toward marriage or commitment is “been there, done that,” he might want a younger woman who just wants to have a lot of fun.

Sure, young women can want marriage and kids. But they can also be the “living in the moment” type that he might be looking for. [Read: Sex with a new partner – how to start your new adventure with a bang]

4. A woman who can be submissive to him

Some older men have a lot of money, and they probably got it by having a dominant personality. And so, they might want a submissive woman.

Perhaps they think that’s easier to find in someone who is young. Older women probably stand up for themselves more than younger ones do.

5. A woman who likes to have a mentor

Some men like to act as a mentor to young people. Whether it’s in business or just life in general, they like acting as a role model for others and helping them. [Read: Confident or cocky? 16 subtle signs that split an arrogant and modest man]

So, dating a younger woman would give them the opportunity to be a mentor to her as well.

How to attract an older man 

Finding someone who is right for you is never easy. For many people, it is a case of trial and error and of losing and finding.

Some people search their whole lives, wanting to find that missing piece. [Read: 47 good and bad types of guys in the dating world and secrets to read them]

How does one find and attract that ideal mate? Do you want to attract an older man? Here are some tips to attract an older man and help reel him in.

1. Have an air of confidence

Confidence is infectious. There is just something about it that brings positive energy into the room. Men admit to being attracted to confident women or those who have a commanding air about them. 

When trying to attract an older man, show him you are confident and comfortable in your own skin. [Read: How to be a strong independent woman that men love]

2. Be mature

If you want to attract older men, it is important you learn to project an air of maturity. Older men are attracted to women who have an air of independence about them and make mature decisions.

Get rid of childish habits like whining and learn to be financially mature. Older men want their partners to be level-headed women who don’t make rash decisions or rely on their emotions to make decisions.

3. Make a change in your appearance

Sure, older men are going to be attracted to your physical attributes at first. But there is something about elegance that makes older men stay with women. [Read: How to look hot – 24 sexy tips to go from boring to irresistibly desirable]

Older men are usually done with their partying days and are most likely willing to settle down with the right woman.

Chances are, older men don’t want to settle down and start a family with someone who always winds up drunk at the local bar with one shoe missing. 

Be a classy woman and conduct yourself with elegance and charm. While good looks do attract a lot of people, remember charm and elegance last far longer. [Read: 27 subtle ways to be more elegant and graceful with your body and behavior]

4. Do not act insecure

Older men don’t want to be tied down to women who are insecure and clingy. Men rarely want to be with a woman prone to drama all of the time, as many men don’t want the extra baggage. 

Low self-esteem isn’t attractive, and it is advised you work on boosting your self-esteem before you decide to pursue a relationship.

5. Don’t act like you love his money

Having a relationship with an older man might raise questions about your intentions. When you start dating an older man, avoid iffy topics like how much he makes in a year or what kind of car he drives. [Read: 24 signs that make a girl a 24K gold digger in a guy’s eyes]

It is always best to stay away from sensitive and money-centric topics.

You don’t want him to think you are some sort of gold digger only interested in his money. Instead, be an independent woman who accepts responsibility for her own wants and needs.

6. Don’t make him feel old

The reason many older men tend to date younger women is that younger women make them feel young again, and they feel like they have someone to protect. [Read: 59 fun things to do on a road trip to create awesome memories together]

When dating an older man, don’t make him feel old. While you act flirty with him and tease him about your age gap, don’t rub it in his face. Keep your jokes tasteful and conduct yourself with tact.

7. Spend time with him

Really spend time with him. Don’t only jump on opportune moments to have sex. Get to know him. 

Engage in conversation with him. While you might think you have nothing in common because of your huge age gap, you might be surprised to find you do have a lot in common. [Read: How much time should couples spend together – 24 clues to your number]

Show a genuine interest in getting to know him—listen to his opinions on things and his views of the world. You could learn a lot and broaden your horizons.

8. Be appreciative

Men love women who appreciate them. When the two of you are together, take time to genuinely thank him for the time you spent together. 

Do more than just say, “thank you.” Take time and put in the effort to really make him feel appreciated. [Read: 25 warm ways to say “I appreciate you” and show your appreciation without words]

9. Be ready to deal with his emotional baggage

When you date an older man, chances are he will have had his share of women. Chances are, he will have children and a string of past relationships. 

Know he has had his share of disastrous relationships, and be prepared to deal with that. Ask yourself if you are still willing to pursue the relationship, despite his baggage. [Read: Why relationships fail – 25 reasons why love can fall apart entirely]

What is it like dating an older man?

While this doesn’t go for all older guys, they’re generally more mature in handling relationships. You can see this in how they handle conflict, how sex isn’t everything for them, and how they respect you. 

Dating an older guy can be such a breath of fresh air, especially when you’re so used to dating immature and younger guys.

Their perspective and approach to dating can be something you can grow and learn from. In fact, some women even prefer dating older guys because of this kind of maturity. 

In terms of how to tell if an older guy likes you, the signs are also different from how younger men show their interest and attraction.

For instance, younger men often compliment your body and your curves, but older guys see beyond that. This is just one of the many examples of what it’s like to date a guy older than you. 

Here is what it’s like to date an older man:

1. An older man who is worthy of your time knows what he wants in a relationship

When guys are young, they tend to be clueless. All the requirements they might have for a girl is that she’s hot and cool.

But older men have been through more relationships and know what they want a lot more than young men do. At least the ones who are worthy of dating. [Read: Sigma male – who they are 56 traits to split them from alpha and beta]

2. An older man might have a lot more or less time with you

Depending on how old the man is, he might be retired. And if he is, then he will have a lot of time on his hands to spend with you.

However, if he’s older than you but still in a high-level executive-level position, he could be working long hours or traveling around the world for business reasons. And that means less time spent with you.

3. Find out whether your visions of the future line up

If you have always dreamed of getting married and having kids, an older man might not be the best option. [Read: 50 questions for a new relationship to predict your romantic future]

He might have been married for 20 years or have grown children. He probably won’t want to start all over, so you need to have discussions about this in the beginning.

4. Your communication habits might be different

Younger and older people have different expectations of how to keep in touch.

For example, he might want to call you on the phone and not Snap you on Snapchat. Or he won’t see your message if you send him a message on social media – if he’s even on social media. [Read: 16 steps to communicate better in a relationship and how to fix a lack of it]

5. There might be an ex-wife in his life

It is quite likely that he will have an ex-wife – and maybe even more than one!

So, you will need to be prepared to deal with her, especially if they have children together. Depending on her level of maturity, there could also be some drama as a result.

6. You might realize that you’re not as emotionally mature as you think

If you’re in your early twenties and have just graduated from college, maybe you’re used to the party life and fraternity boys. [Read: Am I clingy? 23 signs of a stage 5 clinger and how to stop being one]

But when you date an older man, you might be going out to fancy dinners with other couples who are 50 or older. It might be boring to you. 

7. Your sex drives might not be the same

Unfortunately, for many men, their sex drive decreases as they get older. When they’re a teenager, they can’t get enough.

But as they age, their hormones decrease. So, if you have a high sex drive, he might not be able to keep up with you. [Read: High sex drive in women – 16 signs and causes of high libido and what to do]

8. You might have to deal with criticism

If the older man is very successful in his profession and makes a lot of money, then he might be critical of what you’re doing with your life.

He might see it as advice, but you might not. He might even see your habits as immature, depending on the man.

How to tell if an older man likes you

Now, this may intimidate you if you’re younger than him, but don’t let that happen. Sure, he’s lived a couple of years longer than you, but that doesn’t mean you haven’t experienced life as well. [Read: Does he like me? 101 subtle signs and body language clues guys can’t hide]

But you may be wondering how it all works when it comes to dating. Here we’ll be listing down the 101 on how to tell if an older guy likes you.

1. He’ll tell you

He’s older. He’s been on many dates, he’s seen the women out there. 

If he’s really into you, he knows a catch when he sees one, so he won’t hesitate when it comes to letting you know how he feels. One of the admirable things about older men is that they say it as it is. 

There’s no need to play guessing games about what his intentions are – he’ll just be honest with you. Older men know if they don’t make a move, they lose the opportunity.

2. It’s not all sex with him

You may be confused since younger men tend to be more sexually motivated when it comes to women. But for older men, it’s a little different. 

Older men see your worth beyond your body and sex as a whole. This means he appreciates aspects like your humor, intellect, personality, values, and mindset.

These are the things that he sees when he looks at you, asides from your physical attributes. If he’s into you, he appreciates your mind and who you are as a person. 

So, if you look for sexual signs, he may not show them right away. [Read: How to attract an older man and win him over]

3. He compliments you

We don’t mean he says, “nice ass,” or “I’d love to get a chance to squeeze those breasts.” Come on, ladies, if you think those are compliments, you need to redefine your standards. This is exactly what makes older men different from younger men.

They really know how to make a compliment count and make your heart flutter. Though their compliments may not be grandiose, that’s not the point. Their compliments will be genuine and heartfelt. [Read: The best compliments for girls: 25 genuine lines she’ll love to hear]

4. He opens up to you

If he’s older, he’s probably had his fair share of heartbreak. With that being said, though he may be talkative, he’s also guarded. 

However, if he opens up about his personal life, like his family and friends, then this is one of the concrete ways to tell if an older guy likes you.

If you notice he opens up to you about personal topics, then he’s letting his guard down. [Read: How to get a guy to open up and share more with you]

5. He checks in with you but gives you space

An older man appreciates space. Sure, he’ll phone you after work or send you a text during the day to see how you’re doing, but he respects your space. 

If younger men suffocate you with their texts and calls, bombarding your phone every hour, this won’t happen with an older guy. 

Women tend to see space as a negative thing, especially when a man doesn’t text after an hour of silence, but that’s not actually bad. It just means that he appreciates your time and his. [Read: How to give space in a relationship without drifting apart]

6. He does things out of his comfort zone

If he’s an older guy, he has his own routine established. But if he really likes you, he’s willing to try things out of his daily routine/comfort zone. Older men have done a lot in life, so they’ve settled into familiarity and comfort. 

However, if he likes you, he’ll do things that he won’t find himself normally doing. Basically, he’ll adjust his routine to match yours. If you want to go on an adventure, but he’s a homebody, he’s okay with that.

7. He asks if you’re single

If you’re wondering how to tell if an older guy likes you, it doesn’t get any more direct and obvious than this. Listen, he’s older and not into playing games. He wants to get to the point: are you single or not? [Read: How to stop playing relationship games]

If he’s only interested in sex, he won’t care, nor will he even ask you. If he asks if you’re single, he obviously wishes to be a part of your life and hopes you’re willing to give him that chance.

8. He asks you out on a date

If you’re wondering how to tell if an older guy likes you, keep an eye on this one. Does he ask you on a date? 

We’re talking about an actual date, not “Netflix and Chill.” Those are for younger guys, but an older guy will be intentional in dating you. [Read: Is he playing hard to get, or is just not that into you]

So, if he respects you and wants to get to know you as a person, he makes you feel like a queen. You’ll find that he really planned it all throughout to give you the best date possible. 

Basically, an older guy will treat you like a queen.

9. He gives you his attention

He’s not glued to his phone during dinner or excusing himself to text his friends. He gives you his full attention. [Read: Signs of attention-seeking behavior that makes their insecurity]

An older guy knows you deserve his undivided time and attention, and unless it’s an emergency, he won’t keep checking his phone and be distracted by this.

10. He makes time to see you

If a guy takes the time out of his day to see you, then he’s into you. Why else would you waste your time with someone you don’t like?

Even with his busy schedule at work, he’ll sacrifice his time just to spend it with you. You can’t develop a connection with someone without spending time with them first, after all. [Read: 25 signs he loves you even if he doesn’t say it out loud]

11. He feels protective of you

Now, this isn’t to be confused with obsession *that’s a completely different issue and really unhealthy*. What we mean by overprotective is that he wants to make sure you’re safe and taken care of.

He really makes you feel like a queen with the way he makes sure you feel safe and cared for. 

Whether that’s making sure you get home safely or even running little errands for you. This is how to tell if an older guy likes you. [Read: Key differences – Protective boyfriend or a controlling boyfriend?]

12. He looks at you

When you’re having a conversation, he looks at you, not at your cleavage. He’s seen cleavage and breasts before, and he doesn’t have an issue getting that if he wanted to. 

But he’s not looking for only that. He’s looking for substance.

That’s the word that can define what it’s like dating an older guy – substance. Dating younger men can feel so superficial, but older men will date you with substance and depth.

This is unlike anything you’ve experienced before, which makes it all the more worthwhile.

13. He brings up family occasions in conversation

Of course, he’s testing you out to see if you’re interested in going. And if he’s into you, he’ll have no problem bringing that up in the conversation. Older men aren’t really into playing mind games, as they’re in this for the real deal *which is you.*

He wants you to meet his friends and family as soon as possible because he’s proud of who stands beside him. 

He’s happy with who he is when he’s with you, and why shouldn’t he show you off to his loved ones, right?

14. He isn’t afraid to commit

When you’re dating an older guy, he no longer has commitment or abandonment issues. He’s had a concrete experience with dating, which isn’t necessarily a bad thing.

Older men are so refreshing to date because they can give you the very thing younger men can’t, which is commitment. Younger men will run for the hills just hearing this word. 

But older men? They’ll be more than happy to commit to you if they like you. [Read: How to get him to commit – 15 sneaky ways to make him all yours]

15. He’s emotionally and mentally mature

This is another one of the signs that an older guy likes you. An older guy is known to be generally mature in all aspects. There’s no longer the need to be passive-aggressive about things or to give you the silent treatment in conflict.

If he likes you and respects you, he’ll talk about the problem directly. It might take you some getting used to, but they’re very mature in handling conflict, unlike younger men. [Read: Signs of emotional maturity: 20 traits to look for in someone]

16. He knows where his priorities lie

Younger men are all about having a good time and applying “YOLO” in their lives. However, an older guy will prioritize you, among other things, in his life.

This also means he knows what he wants, his ambitions, and his career path. There’s nothing wrong with partying and playing all day, but older guys are more concerned with investing in their future.

17. He dates you with intention

Even if you just met him, you can easily see if a guy has intentions of dating or just wants to “keep things casual.” The latter is often seen in younger men, which is why they often prefer flings and one-night stands.

Older men, on the other hand, will date with the purpose of a goal. It could be marriage, it could be a long-term relationship, but there’s clearly an intention. 

He’s not just going to pull you along because he knows you don’t deserve that. [Read: What is courting? Reasons why it’s way better than dating]

18. He’s not temperamental

If you want to know how to tell if an older guy likes you, watch how he responds to anger. Does he make you flinch with his aggressiveness, or does he respond calmly and rationally the best way he can?

One of the concrete differences between younger and older men is their ability to deal with anger and other difficult emotions. 

As mentioned above, older guys have admirable emotional maturity and intelligence. So he won’t just make everyone in the room flinch just because he’s angry at something or having a rough day. [Read: Ways to handle dating someone with anger issues]

19. He’s patient with you

When an older guy likes you, whether he already admits his feelings or not, he’s very patient with you. He doesn’t try to rush things as he knows that love and relationships should never be rushed.

He’s willing to wait for you until you’re ready *obviously not forever, but for a given period*. He’ll never pressure you into making a decision you’re clearly not ready for, but he’ll allow you to make that decision on your own.

20. He’ll meet you halfway

You know all the younger boys you tried desperately to understand when they were never able to give you even half of the effort you exerted? You won’t have that problem when an older guy likes you. [Read: When does the age gap in a relationship start to matter?]

In fact, one of the obvious signs of how to tell if an older guy likes you is his ability to compromise and meet you halfway. 

He’ll be selfless and understanding, and he’ll effortlessly give back the same amount of effort you’re giving. [Read: Strong signs your relationship is built to last]

Final thoughts

Just because we gave you a long list of things you need to think about before you attract and date an older man, that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t do it. It’s all up to you. 

We just really needed to give you the cold, hard truth about it. When you’re young, you don’t necessarily think of all the things that could happen in the future – good or bad. [Read: 15 posh signs you’re a high-maintenance woman most young guys can’t afford to date!]

So, now that we’ve told you, this is the time to weigh the pros and cons and decide for yourself if you want to date an older man.

[Read: “Creepy” myths about older guys dating younger women]

Now that you know what it’s like dating an older man, you can experience the advantages or disadvantages for yourself. If you decide to go for it – great! You can open yourself up to a whole new type of mature relationship. 

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Carol Morgan LP
Dr. Carol Morgan
Dr. Carol Morgan has a Ph.D. in communication and is a professor at Wright State University where she loves corrupting young minds. As a relationship and succes...