The qualities that women want in a man vary according to personal opinion, but there are certain qualities of a good man you should look for to ensure he’s a cut above the rest.
What does it mean to be a good man? Is there a list of traits you must tick off to graduate and earn the title, or is it something a little more fluid? After all, nobody is perfect, right? Learning the qualities of a good man is a little more complex than that.
There is no solid list covering the qualities of a good man because personal preferences vary from person to person, but there are a few staple points everyone can agree on.
Whether you are trying to become a better man or you’re trying to work out if a guy you’re seeing has these personality traits, it’s important to understand the key qualities of a good man, as this will set the tone of any relationship. [Read: These are the traits that make men attractive to women]
Remember that no one is perfect
Are you reading this to double-check that you have the qualities of a good man? Has someone told you that you aren’t good? Are you not sure what defines a good man? Well, the fact that you are concerned tells us you definitely have some qualities of a good man. But, there is always room for improvement.
It could be that you’ve started dating someone, and you want to be sure about their potential for long-term dating.
A key thing to remember is that no one is perfect; even good men aren’t perfect. A good man makes mistakes. A good man can make bad decisions. And a good man is still just a man doing his best.
So, as much as possible, try not to be too hard on yourself or the guy you’re seeing. We can all improve, but most times, it’s not easy. [Read: These are the signs of insecurity that insecure people can’t hide]
Spotting qualities that define a good man
The thing about spotting the characteristics of a good man is that they won’t often jump out at you. A good man won’t throw his goodness in your face.
A good man is exactly how people should be – he is just good. It isn’t shocking or noteworthy in everyday life, and you won’t necessarily be able to pinpoint the characteristics of his goodness in passing. Sure, he may help an elderly woman cross the street or feed stray animals, but it goes beyond that.
The best way to spot the characteristics of a good man is interaction and satisfaction. You come away from spending time with him feeling good about yourself and about him.
He makes you smile, not necessarily because he is funny or amusing, but because that is just him. The characteristics of a good man are listable, but the main one is just a feeling he gives you. You just know he is downright good. [Read: Surefire ways to know if you’re dating a true gentleman]
The good qualities that make up a good man
Each good man is unique. He has his own assets and certain characteristics. He is good at perking up someone who’s down, or caring for animals, or listening. You don’t need to have all of these qualities of a good man or even most of them. You just have to always try your best and be willing to improve.
Also, if you’re thinking about dating a guy, don’t assume he must have every single one of these points ticked off! [Read: Tips to fall in love with yourself and be a better you]
1. He cares about others
Obvious alert! We know you’ve heard this before, but it still needs to be said. One of the best ways to spot a good man is by observing how he treats others. Anyone can say they care about others, but that shouldn’t just mean your family and friends.
An ideal guy thinks about others’ well-being and is considerate of their feelings. He doesn’t just feel for them and move on. He makes his caring known through actions. It could be anything from donating to charities or paying for the coffee of the person behind him. [Read: How to become a better person in a relationship & be happier too]
2. He isn’t vain
We can all be a little vain, and there is nothing wrong with caring about how you look. But vanity isn’t just about appearances. A quality of a good man is a lack of self-importance. He is confident in who he is but doesn’t feel a need to show off.
Find a man who’s not vain and doesn’t think the world revolves around him. [Read: 15 things guys do that are big turn-offs to girls]
3. He respects women
This is essential if you want to be a good man *or even a halfway decent one*. Sadly, it seems to be a quality that many men these days lack.
Respecting women isn’t about saying you respect women and then proceeding to treat them like sex objects. It isn’t just about protecting women, and it’s not only about seeing women as true equals.
Part of this is also about feeling comfortable with your wife or girlfriend making more money than you. It is about letting her make her own decisions and respecting her choices. [Read: How to respect women without patronizing them]
4. He speaks up for what is right
A good man is not just someone who wouldn’t do bad things but also someone who speaks up about others’ bad actions. For example, he may not harass women at work, but if he sees a woman being harassed, he’ll step in.
One of the main qualities of a good man is knowing the difference between right and wrong and standing up for it.
5. He steps back when necessary
Yes, a good man gets involved but also knows when to back off and avoid crossing the line. If you are having a conversation with women about periods, just listen. Sure, everyone has their opinions, but there is a time and a place to share them.
Even if your involvement has good intentions and righteousness, it is not always called for. [Read: Inspiring male feminist ideas from men around the world]
6. He is kind to his elders
The elderly are one of the most forgotten and mistreated groups in the world, yet without them, we wouldn’t have half the knowledge we have today. A quality of a good man is not just holding the door open for a struggling woman but treating elders equally.
Find a guy who appreciates all that the elderly have to offer the world and what they have already done.
7. He is open-minded
A good man can come from any background and have a number of opinions and stances, but what makes him a good man is his ability to keep an open mind. This does not mean you have to change your beliefs, but be willing to listen to others.
It is about accepting an opinion or belief other than your own without needing to fight or criticize. [Read: 20 intellectual conversation topics that ignite meaningful communication]
8. He appreciates all races, religions, sexualities, and cultures
Acceptance is a big part of being a good man, but it isn’t just about not being homophobic, racist, or sexist. A good man goes above the status quo and truly appreciates everyone for their differences and uniqueness.
He doesn’t just tolerate what he doesn’t know. He loves it, respects it, and sees it as a blessing. Guys like these are game-changers, and they make the world a better place.
9. He is patient
Sure, he can beep his horn on the highway and curse out the guy that cut him off, but he is patient in other ways. One of the qualities of a good man is patience with others and himself. He gives himself time to make things happen.
In addition, he waits until others are ready. He doesn’t go overboard, push people, or make others uncomfortable. And it isn’t just about waiting. He understands that people work at different speeds, and he appreciates the work it takes to reach whatever goal. [Read: 15 things women look for in a man before falling for him]
10. He is generous
You do not have to hand out watches to everyone you know to be a good man. Being generous means being generous with your time and your kindness. Sure, it can mean donating to charity or giving back, but it also means helping a neighbor bring in their groceries.
It means feeding your friend’s pet when they are out of town. Essentially, it means taking time away from yourself and giving it to others.
11. He is aware
Many people think the best thing to do in the world is to turn the other cheek. That can be to the news, to wrongdoings, and more. We are not saying all good men are educated in every area of every topic. But, a good man makes it a priority to know what is going on around him.
He cares about what is happening with the people in his life and around the world and wants to stay informed. [Read: How to be a good citizen of the world while living at home]
12. He listens
Listening is what makes a good man. We don’t mean how you listened in school, but interacting and really processing what you see and hear. He can have a conversation with someone and absorb what they say and respond carefully. He looks straight into your eyes while you’re talking to show that he’s listening. In connection, he is a good communicator and is able to carry any conversation.
13. He communicates his feelings
A good man knows how to communicate his feelings. He isn’t afraid to show his softer side. But that’s not all; he is a good man because he shares his emotions in order to better his relationships, something that many men find difficult to do. [Read: Steps to better communication in a relationship]
14. He cares for animals and the environment
Again, we don’t mean he has to be vegan or live a zero-waste lifestyle. But a man who takes time to recycle when he can is a good man. A man who sees a stray cat or dog and calls the local animal charity rather than moving along is a good man.
15. He doesn’t mock others
We all make fun and tease. We all make jokes. But, the difference between a good man and a not-so-good man is that he won’t make jokes at the expense of others.
Find the man who may joke about his buddy’s less-than-great basketball skills but won’t mock a woman for her size, his friend for crying, or a stranger for their fashion choices. [Read: How to be nice – 20 easy tips to make everyone love being around you]
16. He is humble
Self-confidence and humility live along a fine line. But a good man balances the two.
He feels good about who he is and what he has without being boastful. Perhaps he loves his life and works hard but doesn’t brag about it. He has nice things or is surrounded by good people but doesn’t show off. [Read: The subtle differences between a confident and a cocky man]
17. He has humility
We all indeed care what others think once in a while, and that is totally fine and human. But, a good man knows when to laugh at himself. He knows when to take himself seriously and when to laugh until his drink comes out of his nose.
He’ll admit when he’s wrong without rigidness or hesitance. He knows when he makes mistakes, and instead of hiding them, he comes cleans and does better next time. [Read: Do you meet the qualifications for being a self-righteous dick?]
18. He asks questions
Just as a good man listens, he also asks questions. This is a part of caring. He genuinely wants to know how your grandma is and if you got that promotion.
He wants to learn more about you and the world. As we said, a good man is always trying to improve himself, not to prove a point, but just to be a better person. Knowledge is what gets him there. [Read: How to make someone happy – 20 ways to help them sparkle]
19. He is kind and empathetic
We know this seems basic, but it is important. Kindness is not about being agreeable. It is about spreading goodness. It can be anything from telling a cashier to have a good day, opening the door for a stranger, or offering your umbrella to someone.
He also shows empathy and tries to understand what other people are going through. [Read: Things to look for in a guy before dating him]
20. He admits when he’s wrong
Being able to admit your mistakes, especially misunderstandings, is one of the most emotionally intelligent and mature things a man can do. Being able to analyze your past behavior and grow and change from it is something a good man aspires to. Many women may think that they hit the jackpot if they found a man with high emotional intelligence, and it’s true!
21. He is honest
A good man knows honesty is the best policy. He is not a saint but is honest when it really matters. He doesn’t keep secrets from those he cares about.
This means you’ll feel more trusting towards him, which is one of the key cornerstones of a successful and loving relationship. [Read: Types of creepy guys that aren’t worth your time]
22. If he says he’s going to do something, he does it
A good man keeps his word. If he says he is going to do something, you can be sure that he will follow through. He is dependable and reliable and won’t let you down or cancel last minute unless something comes up that he really can’t get out of.
Being reliable is one of the key qualities of a good man and, sadly, something we don’t see a lot of these days.
23. He can laugh at himself
A good man has a solid sense of humor in life. He can see the lightness in any situation and has no problem laughing at himself.
Being around him is a fun experience, not because it’s a joke a minute, but because he connects with humor whenever he can, and that makes things lighter. He won’t become annoyed or sulk when he embarrasses himself; he’ll just take it on the chin and laugh. [Read: How to be funny – 28 must-know tips to make everyone love your humor]
24. He has a quiet confidence
A good man builds his confidence from within. He feels good about who he is and how he treats others. A good man doesn’t require acceptance or approval but is proud of himself.
He isn’t arrogant and does not have power issues. Instead, he radiates a sense of quiet confidence that is not only attractive but something that makes you feel comfortable and protected whenever he is around. [Read: The subtle differences between a confident and arrogant man]
25. He challenges himself and others
A good man is someone who always strives to be better. He knows he isn’t perfect and isn’t trying to be, but he pushes himself outside his comfort zone. When necessary, he also challenges others to do the same and helps people to reach their potential.
26. He brings positivity to the lives of others
A good man does not drain energy and happiness from others. Instead, he wants to leave people better and happier than they were before him.
His happy-go-lucky demeanor is enjoyable to be around, and when he leaves the room, people feel warm and uplifted. [Read: How to be more positive – 24 steps to a happy and dramatic life shift]
27. He shows gratitude
A good man doesn’t take things for granted. He appreciates the opportunities he has and the people in his life, and he shows that gratitude daily.
He has also good manners. You won’t catch him forgetting to say “thank you” when someone does something nice for him – even for small things.
28. He is direct when necessary
He knows that being direct with good news and bad is the best way to be in most situations. A good man has fears and hesitations but knows when to push those aside to focus on the task at hand.
That doesn’t mean he will deliver bad news in a harsh manner. Instead, he will choose the right method to avoid upsetting or hurting another person. You always know where you stand with a good man. [Read: Ways to break the bad news without a huge blow out]
29. He has morals he lives by
A good man has a strong sense of right and wrong. But at the same time, he doesn’t see the world in black and white like good and bad. He’s always open to hearing others’ thoughts and ways of living. But, he has faith in his moral compass and treats people according to it.
He will not betray his morals and spiritual beliefs for the sake of anything, and that means he’s genuine at all times.
30. He is supportive
A good man will not judge someone for their choice of life partner, job, or anything else. He will support those around him.
If you’re going through a hard time, a good man will be there for you in any way he can. That doesn’t mean he will always drop everything, but he’s there to listen, even if over the phone. [Read: 17 signs of a supportive partner who encourages you and your goals]
31. He makes an effort when it counts
A good man is not lazy or selfish. He has his moments, as we all do, but he wants to make the effort to make others happy. He doesn’t do it for recognition or approval but simply because he cares.
He’s not going to be buying you flowers every day, but he will make the right effort when the moment calls for it.
32. He’s trustworthy
If you can’t trust the dude, he’s a waste of time, and you better let him go! Can a relationship work without trust? You’ll constantly be on edge, paranoid, and convinced that he’s out doing all manner of nastiness with someone who isn’t you.
A guy’s trustworthiness is key. In fact, it’s the biggest of them all, so always listen to your gut on this one. [Read: The devious signs of sneaky people that should make you run]
33. He has a general plan for his life
It’s not a great sign when a guy has no idea what he wants in life and doesn’t seem to care that he has no plan at all. We’re not suggesting he should have his life mapped out, but a general direction is always something to look for.
This means he has determination and drive. These are not only attractive traits in a man but are qualities of a good one.
34. He’s determined
When he wants something, does he go after it with gusto? It’s an attractive quality. It’s something you should definitely be on the lookout for – it means he has fire in his belly!
It also means that he’ll be determined in helping the people around him. Find someone who doesn’t give up until the moment calls for it. [Read: The need for purpose in life]
35. He isn’t completely money-focused
A guy who has money at the top of his priority list and focuses his entire life on getting more is not someone to build a future with. Sure, money is important, but it’s not the be-all and end-all. A guy who focuses on love and experiences is a far better bet.
A good man knows this and focuses on a balance of the two. [Read: On the flip side, here’s what makes a girl dateable and a real catch]
36. He is intelligent
While a good man doesn’t have to have the highest IQ in the world, he’s smart enough to be able to hold an intelligent conversation about something other than the weather. This way, you’ll never be bored and have to resort to talking about the same thing every day.
He’s also keen to learn more and is probably a good reader. [Read: Intellectual questions to cue smart talk with anyone]
37. He is selfless
Whenever someone needs him, he does his best. If it means not going to the game he had planned to attend, so be it. He won’t make you feel guilty about becoming his priority, either.
Remember that everyone can be selfish on occasion, but overall, he’s very selfless with his time and attention. That’s one of the important qualities of a good man. It’s not all about him.
38. He is emotionally stable
A guy who lashes out at others and blames them for things that go wrong is not only not a fun person to be around; it is a major red flag. One of the best qualities of a good man is the ability to regulate his emotions and focus on the bigger picture.
Of course, sometimes he will be sad or angry, but he’s able to appreciate that these feelings come and go. He has a balance that allows him to get on with his life. A lot of women naturally want the kind of man who doesn’t let their emotions take over. [Read: 20 signs of emotional maturity and traits that reveal a mature mind]
39. He is practical
People assume that the word ‘practical’ means boring. It’s often thought about in negative terms. However, that’s not the case! A good guy is practical because he’s able to get things done.
He makes a plan and sees it through. He doesn’t rely on pie-in-the-sky ideas and dreams that never work out. It’s his practical side that helps him be dependable and reliable.
40. He makes others feel safe
One of the lesser-known best qualities of a good man is the ability to make people around him feel calm and safe. He has a certain aura that helps people to feel relaxed and looked after.
It’s mostly because of his kindness and empathy. He doesn’t enjoy seeing people upset or worried, and he does his best to take those negative emotions away as much as he can. This is one quality that many women want in a man and always look for in a romantic relationship, as being with a guy like this makes you worry less about your safety. [Read: Key differences – protective boyfriend or controlling boyfriend?]
41. He is creative
A good man knows that sometimes, a little imagination gets you a long way. He’s able to sit down with kids and play without feeling awkward or embarrassed. When it comes to fun times, he doesn’t mind throwing himself into games and using his creative mind to make things so much more enjoyable.
He might also enjoy creative hobbies. All of this means he’s in touch with his emotions and able to enjoy life. [Read: 15 compelling reasons to date an artistic, creative person]
A good man is a man worth being and searching for
You likely have a few of these qualities already. So, you’ve already made progress without doing anything! However, it’s equally as likely that you have some work to do. No problem!
Self-improvement is never time wasted, and by working through the points slowly, you’ll improve your awareness and your personality over time. That doesn’t mean you’ll become a totally different person. It just means you become a better version of yourself.
If you’re looking for a guy with these qualities, now you have all the information you need so that you won’t settle for anything less. Don’t expect him to have every single one, but a guy with a good few is someone with a good heart and a willingness to improve.
[Read: Self-concept – How we create and develop it to control our happiness]
Nobody is perfect, but if you have these qualities of a good man, or someone you want to date does, you’re right where you need to be.
