Mind-Blowing Sex: 20 Moves to Go from Boring to Oh-Hot-Damn

Mind-blowing sex is different for everyone. But if you learn these basics, your sex game is guaranteed to reach new heights and leave you both breathless!

Mind-blowing sex, whether with a partner or with a hot one-night stand, is always great. Whether you’ve known someone for ten years or ten minutes, if you decide to get hot and heavy under the sheets, there are some seriously sexy tips that are guaranteed to make it a night to remember.

The possibilities are endless and the key to discovering your inner sex god/goddess is to have an open mind and a willingness to try new things. The point is to think out of the box and not just go with the norm and a routine. Even good sex can get boring if it’s the same every time. [Read: Top 50 Kinky Sex Ideas Worth Trying At Least Once in Your Lifetime!]

The Reality of ‘Meh’ Sex

You’re familiar with those steamy scenes in movies, where everything is just electric? Now, contrast that with the kind of sex that leaves you checking the clock, wondering when it’s going to be over.

‘Meh’ sex is that underwhelming experience where the physical act might be there, but the excitement, the connection, just isn’t. It’s like going through the motions without the fireworks. This kind of sex is more common than many think.

Despite everyone chasing that dream of mind-blowing sex, the reality often falls short. It’s not always about wild moves or exotic locations; it’s about the feeling that something essential is missing.

Experts suggest various reasons for this gap. Sometimes it’s physical – maybe tiredness or health issues. Other times, it’s more about where you’re at mentally or emotionally. [Read: How to get in the mood for sex: Horny tricks to beat a dry spell]

Stress, relationship hiccups, or just a plain lack of communication can turn what should be a passionate encounter into something forgettable. The tricky part is that mediocre sex isn’t always bad sex; it’s just not… mind-blowing.

Reasons Behind Lackluster Sex

To get to the root of why your sex life might be more fizzle than sizzle, it’s important to figure out what’s holding back the fireworks. There are numerous reasons why people miss out on mind-blowing sex, and understanding these can be the first step towards turning things around. Here’s a breakdown of these factors:

1. Fatigue

Let’s face it, when you’re exhausted, the last thing on your mind is a wild romp. Tiredness can seriously dampen your libido, making even the thought of sex feel like a chore.

2. Health Issues

Various health problems, from hormonal imbalances to chronic pain, can put a major damper on your sex drive. It’s not just about feeling unwell, these issues can directly impact your body’s ability to get excited.

3. Lack of Physical Attraction

This one’s tough, but it’s real. If the physical spark isn’t there, it’s hard to reach the heights of mind-blowing sex. It might be a fleeting issue or something more deep-seated, but it definitely affects the bedroom dynamics. [Read: Signs of strong physical attraction that reveal a mad attraction]

4. Stress

Stress is a notorious mood killer. When your mind is cluttered with worries, it’s hard to let go and enjoy the moment. Sex might become just another item on your to-do list, rather than an escape from the daily grind.

5. Relationship Issues

Unresolved arguments, feeling disconnected, or trust issues can all translate into lackluster sex. If there’s emotional distance, it’s hard to bridge that gap physically.

6. Lack of Communication

Not talking about your likes, dislikes, and desires can lead to a pretty bland sex life. Without that open line of communication, you’re both just guessing what the other enjoys, often missing the mark.

7. Self-steem and Body Image Issues

If you’re spending the whole time thinking about how you look or what your partner thinks of you, you’re not in the moment. These insecurities can be major obstacles to enjoying and exploring sex.

8. Past Trauma

This is a big one. Past sexual trauma can deeply affect how you view and experience sex, often needing professional help to work through. [Read: Trauma bonding in relationships: 35 signs & secrets to unmask & escape]

9. Lifestyle Choices

Your overall lifestyle, including diet, exercise, and habits like smoking or drinking, can influence your sex life. Poor lifestyle choices can lead to decreased stamina, lesser arousal, and a less fulfilling sex life.

10. Having Sex with the Wrong Person

Sometimes, it’s not about you or them, but about the compatibility. If the sexual chemistry isn’t there, it’s tough to have mind-blowing sex. It’s like trying to start a fire with wet wood – possible, but requires a lot more effort and might not be worth it.

Moves for Guaranteed Mind-blowing Sex

So why settle for mediocre sex when you can make sure it’ll hit the spot *and your partner’s spot* each and every time? Here are 16 racy tips to make sure you have a brilliant, sexy, satisfying time, every time.

1. Kiss

Do not underestimate kissing. Kissing is personal and sexy and can make you tingle in all the right places. Locking lips is amazing for building up tension and there is a certain delicious intimacy that comes with having your faces so close together. [Read: 29 sensual, romantic secrets to kiss someone passionately & deeply]

The mouth and face are vital for communication and understanding and being able to easily look into each other’s eyes works wonders for creating connection and turning up the heat.

Also, using your mouth can do a lot to make your partners imagination fly. Switch up the pressure, suck on their lip, tease them by licking. This will guarantee their mind will be racing with ideas of where else they want your mouth.

Try starting off slow, then get more passionate and urgent. When you can’t help but tear each other’s clothes off, then you know the time is right.

2. Explore

Mind-blowing sex is all about trying new things and seeing what works for you and what doesn’t. There are so many things you can do in bed, so why not try everything that you feel comfortable with?

Go to places you’ve never been before. If you’re with someone who respects you and is also a willing adventurer, there are countless pleasures the two of you can find together.

Maybe you don’t have the faintest idea of what you could try, and that’s okay. Start by asking your partner for ideas, this way you know he’ll definitely be up for it if he suggests it. But if neither of you is sure, then it’s time to do a little research.

Many people have had many great ideas over the years and, luckily for you, they’re easy to find. In fact, here, try this article on for size! [Read: Top 50 kinky sex ideas worth trying at least once in your lifetime!]

3. Change It Up

You might have a favorite position or be a little too timid to try new things, but if you don’t change things up every once in a while, you’ll never know how good sex can be.

The best sex sessions involve mixing up positions, rolling around, and getting down and dirty! Changing position is also a great way to last longer and have an incredibly awesome sex session. If you just get in there and start thrusting away, chances are, it’ll be over in no time.

So go slow, try new positions, and build up slowly until you just can’t help yourself. [Read: 30 sex positions for 30 days]

4. Shower Together

Showers are hot, slippery, and wet and they make you hot, slippery, and wet, too!

It’s no wonder that so many memorable sex scenes in movies are filmed in the shower. With the water cascading over both of you, the steam rising, your wet bodies pressing together, how could it not be hot, hot, hot? And what better way to start a mind-blowing sex session? [Read: Shower sex: Sexy bathroom secrets to get wet, make love & not slip]

But be careful guys! There’s slippery in a good way and there’s slippery in a bad way, and nothing kills the mood faster than a concussion.

5. Foreplay, Foreplay, Foreplay

Making foreplay last is a great way to build up to the big event. Foreplay includes everything from kissing, stroking, and touching to oral sex. Again, it’s all about taking your time with it.

Start with kissing and touching through clothes until you’re both so horny that it feels almost unbearable. Only then should you undress and start the foreplay again.

Waiting until you feel crazed with desire will only make it all the more satisfying when you actually do start having sex.

Change it up and get inventive. Graze their skin with your teeth, bite, maybe use your nails. Perhaps consider bringing other things into the bedroom! Ice cubes can be a good one for sensory stimulation, and maybe you or your partner want to get spanked by something. Try it out! [Read: Sexiest foreplay tips you can ever use in bed]

6. Do It Often

Practice makes perfect, right? Perfecting sex is important and empowering. Think of it as any other skill — if you stop doing it for a while, the next time you try, you’re going to be out of practice. The more often you have sex, the more you’ll get to know what you and your partner want and like.

Being sure of yourself and your skills will only bring you confidence, and confidence is key to having mind-blowing sex.

When you’re not spending time figuring out or worrying about what to do next or if your partner is into it, practice and confidence will free up your mind and allow you to focus more purely on the pleasure, heightening your experience.

7. Don’t Have Sex

What? Did we misspeak? I know I just told you the opposite but hear me out. Sometimes, and especially if you have a partner, it’s good to have some time off from sex. You don’t want it to become either routine or predictable. [Read: How long should you wait before sex? 29 must-knows on time, dates & sex]

If you abstain for a short period, perhaps enjoying some alone time, then come back together, the sex is guaranteed to be better. Anticipation and novelty really help sex become mind-blowing.

It is also a good idea to focus on other aspects of sex rather than just penetration. This can give you new and intense orgasms that you never knew you could have.

Don’t just go through the motions of foreplay to get to the good stuff. Hand jobs, blow jobs, cunnilingus, and a million other fun, playful sex acts are all up for grabs. If you fancy something different, why not just concentrate on one of them and see where it goes?

8. Communicate

Sometimes, it really is just as simple as spelling out exactly what you want. If you like what they’re doing, tell them. If you want them to move a fraction to the right, speak up. If it’s all gotten to be a bit much and you need them to slow down, let them know. No one, however good they are at sex, is a mind reader, and as we said before, everyone is different. What your previous lover may have considered as mind-blowing sex may not be floating the boat for your new one.

If you talk about what you like openly and honestly, you can save yourself years of mediocre sex, and your partner will be grateful you did! Not only this, but open communication builds bonds between you and your partner through understanding, as well as comfort and safety. Very important aspects if you want your sex to be great! [Read: Tips to get your partner to open up about sex]

9. Know Your Partner

Knowing your partner on an intimate level is one of the biggest keys to mind-blowing sex. Everyone is different and understanding exactly what turns your partner on will elevate your love life to new heights. As we’ve said, communication is key, but also pay attention to what reactions you get from even the smallest things you do.

As humans, we have five main senses: sight, sound, touch, smell, and taste. Can you notice or ask your partner which ones they prefer, or which turn them on? Perhaps they can give you some ideas of what to do to stimulate those senses, or you can get inventive yourself.

An example could be wearing sexy lingerie/costume to visually excite them. Perhaps they like it if you whisper close to their ear for sound. Even getting creative with the taste one can be sexy, and definitely fun.

And this is a two-way street. Not only can you learn what your partner likes, but you can also learn about yourself along the way.

10. Play Out Your Fantasies

If you’ve got a fantasy, why not make it a reality? Don’t go through your life wishing you had the courage to try something or to tell your partner, “Hey, I’d really like it if you tied me up/dressed up as a nurse/pretended you didn’t know me, etc.” [Read: 20 arousing sex fantasies that you seriously need to try at least once]

There’s nothing wrong with having sex fantasies that are outside of the norm and I encourage you to embrace them. But no one will ever know if you don’t share.

Make your fantasies known and see what your partner thinks. But don’t be scared. If they judge you, they’re probably not the right person for you anyway.

And again, be careful with this one. Something might be your ultimate fantasy, but if it’s a little risky, be careful. Also bear in mind that your partner might not be into your fantasy, so never force or manipulate them into participating. The same for you. Never let anyone talk you into doing things you’re not comfortable with.

11. Know Your Body

Whether you’re a man or a woman, it’s important to understand and get to know how a woman’s body works and the cycles that she goes through. Every month women go through a cycle of four stages. This might seem like I’m intro-ing a biology class, but no. If you’re looking for mind-blowing sex, paying attention to which stage of the cycle a woman is in can go a long way in getting you there.

The stage of the cycle to look out for is the ovulation stage. During this period of the month, sex is going to be even more amazing, for both of you. In general, women are hornier when they are ovulating. Makes sense, right? And hormones are one hell of a drug.

A woman can feel more sensual and attractive during this time, and there has also been research that suggests women appear sexier to others when they are ovulating too.

Of course, make sure you both protect yourself during this time. There’s a reason all this happens and if you’re not looking to get pregnant any time soon, take the necessary precautions. [Read: Birth control options and what they can do for you]

12. Do it Somewhere Naughty

It can be easy to fall into a sex routine. You might know your partner well and be having perfectly satisfying sex, but if you want to really have your mind blown, you need to keep things interesting.

Why not try having sex somewhere new? That “I need to have you now” feeling is seriously hot and can lead to having great sex in all kinds of awesome places. Maybe you want to keep it cute and romantic and run off to the forest to do it amongst the trees. Or maybe you want more danger in a club bathroom or hidden in a public park!

Most people don’t want to be fully caught in the act but running the risk can sure as hell raise the excitement and intensity levels of your session. Be smart though. Not everyone needs to see it and some places may be inappropriate. [Read: The 20 best and hottest places for outdoor sex]

13. Relax

Mind-blowing sex is all about relaxing and having confidence. Sometimes it’s messy, sometimes things don’t work out the way they’re supposed to, and sometimes your body makes strange, uncontrollable noises that make you want to crawl under the bed and die.

If you can be confident about your body and your technique and can laugh any awkward moments off and try again, you are far more likely to have great sex instead of being stressed out by the whole thing. Breath and remind yourself that they chose to be there with you, so they probably don’t care about the stuff you might be worried about.

14. Find Your Inner Seductress/Seducer

For some of us it can be hard to believe that somewhere deep down inside there’s a confident, sexy, and even enchanting version of us that knows exactly what to do in these moments. Maybe we think of ourselves as shy, quiet, unadventurous, and not capable of that level of seduction. [Read: The subtle secrets on how to be a seductress desired by all men]

This is completely untrue. Of course, we all have our hang-ups, and it’s true that you might be a person that’s more reserved. But the truth is that everyone is capable of being a wild seductress or seducer. If you’re honest with yourself, you know that that side of you exists. It’s the part of you that wants sex, it’s the part of you that knows exactly what you want and even how to get it. Find this sex machine and set them free! You won’t regret it.

15. Understand Masculine and Feminine Energy

This is NOT connected to gender. No matter what kind of relationship you have and with what kind of person, you can be sure that any time two people are having sex there is a delicate play between “masculine” and “feminine” energies going on. A submissive and dominant interplay, for example. Or a giver and a taker dynamic.

At any time, these roles can switch between the two of you and it is never the responsibility of any one person to stick to one role.

Understanding how and when to switch up the masculine and feminine energies whilst having sex can work wonders for your sex life. Mixing things up is always exciting; one minute you’re pressed into the sheets and the next you’re on top and in control.

Allowing the two energies to dance with each other, rather than just statically rub against each other, will give your sex a sweet fluidity that is sure to blow both of your minds.

16. Get Intimate

The truth is the best sex often happens when you have an emotional connection with someone. If you can find someone to share your life with and be truly intimate with, chances are, you’re doing all of the above and already having truly spectacular, mind-blowing sex.

But whether they’re “the one” or one of many, building intimacy deepens any experience you have with each other.

Showing that you care about their emotions and their pleasure, showing that you understand them and how they communicate, and sharing deep, intimate parts of yourself with them — not just those intimate parts! — will always take normal sex to mind-blowing levels. [Read: Easy ways to keep intimacy alive in a relationship]

17. Sensory Play

Engaging all your senses can turn ordinary sex into an extraordinary experience. Think about incorporating different textures, temperatures, and tastes. Blindfolding your partner and teasing them with various sensations can heighten their other senses, making every touch more intense.

The anticipation of not knowing what comes next adds an exciting layer of unpredictability. Whether it’s ice cubes, feathers, or scented oils, sensory play can transform your sexual encounters into a more holistic, mind-blowing journey.

18. Spontaneity

Breaking out of routine can be a game-changer. Don’t wait for the perfect moment; sometimes, the most memorable sexual experiences are unplanned. This might mean initiating sex at an unexpected time or in an unexpected way. [Read: 22 playful ways to make sex more fun & interesting when it’s boring & lame]

It’s about capturing the excitement of the early days in a relationship when everything felt new and thrilling. Spontaneous sex can bring a sense of adventure and playfulness, making for more vibrant and mind-blowing encounters.

19. Educate Yourself

Knowledge is power, especially in the bedroom. Dive into books, workshops, or online resources about sexual techniques and psychology.

Trust us, understanding the intricacies of pleasure – from the G-spot to erogenous zones you didn’t even know existed – can significantly enhance your sexual experiences.

20. Mutual Masturbation

This is a powerful way to not only enjoy pleasure together but also to learn about each other’s bodies. Watching your partner touch themselves gives you insights into how they like to be pleasured, which can be incredibly erotic and informative. It breaks down barriers, builds intimacy, and can be a huge turn-on.

Plus, it adds variety to your sexual repertoire. This practice can be both an incredibly intimate act and a pathway to mind-blowing sex, as you each share and explore your own unique ways of finding pleasure. [Read: Mutual masturbation: How to try it, 25 tips, positions & sexy must-knows]

Don’t Settle for Mediocre Sex

Sex should be fun, exhilarating, and something to look forward to. If it’s anything less, it’s worth asking why you’re settling for mediocrity in one of life’s most pleasurable activities.

Mind-blowing sex can happen for everyone. You just have to believe in it and in yourself. It’s about breaking down barriers, whether they’re mental, emotional, or physical, and opening up to the full spectrum of joy and satisfaction sex can offer. Whatever your relationship status, you should never settle for sex that is dull or unenjoyable.

[Read: Married sex: 38 sex ideas & naughty tips to spice it up & stay passionate]

As you can see, mind-blowing sex isn’t just about natural talent. There’s a lot to learn and incorporate if you’re serious about elevating the quality of your sex life, but luckily, we’ve got you covered. Remember, practice makes perfect and sex is all about working together, so don’t feel daunted.