Jake and Melissa have been married for 15 years and counting. So have John and Addy. The only difference between both couples is that the latter have 3 kids, whereas the former have a cat and a teacup pig. Even so, both couples suffer from the same problem: monotony in their marriage and sex life.
All four boast successful careers and a comfortable lifestyle. Besides the conventional mortgages, they don’t have any financial troubles, and even have cash stashed aside for a rainy day. Perhaps it’s because they’re so responsible that their lives have settled into a comfortable yet somehow dull routine. This doesn’t mean they’re unhappy. Far from it, all four are reportedly happy with their partners.
Even so, all four have voiced their concerns on conforming too much to routine. Their lives may be great, they may love their partners, but they’re tired of their sex lives. Don’t blame marriage, because even long-term unmarried couples suffer from this problem. It’s very normal for our carnal instincts to die down, and before you know it, convenience takes its place.
Why does this happen? According to an article posted on Huffington Post, “It’s human nature to crave novelty, as great thinkers as far back as Pliney the Elder have noted — it’s what makes new couples want to rip the buttons off each others’ shirts and engage in lingerie-sparked romps until the wee hours of the morning. But eventually, having access to the same naked body night after night is bound to erode its novelty.”
If that’s the case, then there’s no excuse why you need to be in that position. There are plenty of naughty things that you can do to spice up married life and make it seem like you’re a brand new couple again.
How to bring sexy back into your marriage
No idea where to start? Here are a couple of naughty ideas you can try to spice up your romps.
#1 Forget the sex routine. One way to spice things up is to forget the sex schedule. Rip that thing up and flush it down the toilet, never to be seen again. Most couples fall into a boring routine of doing it at specific times. For example, John and Addy tend to only have sex over the weekends, as it’s the only time when they’re not exhausted from work and the kids. Jake and Melissa, on the other hand, make a habit of making love in the mornings on “non-gym days.”
As practical as it is to have a sex schedule, there’s no doubt that it’s a horrible way of addressing one of the most basic and primal instincts that we have. Spice it up by doing it whenever you feel like it, not whenever your schedule permits it.
#2 Enjoy quickies. As a continuation of the point I made above, indulge in quickies any chance you can get. This way you won’t have to worry so much about sticking to a schedule or making sure you’re not late to work. Whether you bang your wife in the garage before zooming off to work, or springing your husband with a quick session up against the kitchen sink, relish quickies as they are god’s gift to the busy.
#3 Use props. Introduce props into the bedroom the next chance you get. You’ll be surprised at just how handy a pair of furry handcuffs can be. A silk blindfold? What about a feathery whip? Flavored lube, perhaps? If you’re embarrassed to head to a sex shop, buy whatever you need online. Same day delivery, anyone? You can also make use of what’s in your kitchen. Ice, honey and whipped cream are great sex tools, and if you’re a chocolate-lover, bust out that jar of Nutella for a rocking good time. [Read: 50 kinky ideas for a sexy relationship]
#4 Watch porn together. Everyone watches porn, so don’t be a prude and turn your nose up at it. Make it a point to watch some porn with your partner. Not only will it be sure to turn both of you on, you’ll also garner tips and ideas from these saucy videos. Not just that, you’ll have an idea of just how your partner likes it.
Pay attention to the types of videos they select. Do they like tags that say, “public,” “orgy,” “anal,” “redhead,” “schoolgirl” or “lesbian?” There are hundreds of keywords and tags when it comes to porn, so pay attention to what your partner likes, and try to replicate it the next chance you get. [Read: How do the ladies like their pornography?]
#5 Have sex at work. There’s nothing naughtier than getting kinky at one of the dullest places on earth: the office. Ladies, why not surprise your husband during lunch? Pop in with his favorite takeout and barricade yourselves in his office.
Dress normally, but be sure to put on something completely provocative underneath. Nipple pasties, sexy lingerie, crotchless panties, and other naughty pieces of clothing come to mind. Boys, do the same with your ladies, but spice it up by wearing nothing underneath those pants. Just hang loose, won’t you?
#6 Try new positions. There’s more to sex than missionary and doggie style, so be sure to explore this naughty world of pleasurable delights. Buy the book or scour the internet for Kama Sutra positions. You’ll be blown away at the myriad positions that’ll have you in the throes of orgasm in no time. [Read: 18 girl on top tips to make sex a lot hotter]
#7 Film yourselves. One of the best ways to spice up married life is to film yourselves. Turn on the camera mode on your laptop and film yourselves going at it. Make a whole production out of it, and play around with mood lighting, props, and music. Why not, right? One thing to remember is to be careful about where and how you store this video. Unless you want to be the next big porn duo, be sure to keep this file far away from prying eyes.
#8 Dress up. Having great sex is not always about being naked together. There’s something very feisty about dressing up in costumes. Sexy nurse anyone? Want to jump on a thong-clad fireman, ladies? Dressing up isn’t limited to just costumes. All you women out there, invest in glorious lingerie and take things up a notch by donning a pair of sexy stilettos. Your man won’t be able to take his eyes or hands off you. Mission accomplished.
#9 Indulge in sex talk. Sure, sex may be all about doing the deed, but don’t underestimate the power of dirty talk. You’re wrong if you think it’s just for losers in long distance relationships. Everyone should indulge in sex talk to keep things filthy in the bedroom.
Moans peppered with, “Give it to me hard,” and “You feel so good, you dirty slut,” will be sure to get your heart racing and adrenaline levels up. Even when you’re out of the bedroom, casually whispering to your partner things like, “I can’t wait until I’ve got you pinned under me” will definitely get them excited for what’s to come. Play around with the lingo and you will find just how sexy married sex can really be.
[Read: The woman’s guide for dirty talking to a guy]
[Read: The man’s guide on how to talk dirty to her without turning her off]
#10 Sexting is fun. Technology has overtaken the world and one way of harnessing its power is by sexting. Send your partner a naughty text or email while they’re at work outlining just how horny you are and how you can’t wait to strip them naked when they get home. SnapChat is also a great app to use, as you can send the dirtiest pictures you can possibly take without worrying about it getting accidentally sent to your family group chat. [Read: 20 sexy text messages to start a sexy conversation]
#11 Play footsie. Being naughty is all about being brave, so don’t chicken out the next time you’re at a nice restaurant with company. At dinner, sit next to your partner and kick things off by playing footsie and holding hands. By the time the second course is served, your fingers should be all up in their privates, nimbly turning them on.
The key is to make sure that you’re dining somewhere with tablecloths, because the last thing you want is to have the kid at the table across from you bursting into tears. The fancier the place, the naughtier you are. The naughtier you are, the steamier the sex will be when you’re done dining.
#12 Check into a hotel. As much as you love going home to your cozy bed and doing it between your familiar sheets and taking a shower in your familiar bathroom with your familiar coconut shampoo, spice it up by checking into a fancy hotel. There’s nothing quite like making love in a beautiful space, ordering expensive room service, making an unholy mess of everything *particularly their hand towels* and checking out the next day. [Read: 10 benefits of going on a sex vacation]
#13 Role-play. One of the simplest ways that you can spice up your marriage is to role-play. Pick exciting characters and meet somewhere for a rendezvous. For example, CIA agent Damon Cooper and Mossad spy Larissa Hedley meet at a five-star hotel bar while out on an undercover mission to bust a terrorist ring. One thing leads to another and, well, you get the picture.
Set the stage for your fantasy and have fun playing it out. From rape scenes to doctor-nurse play dates, indulge in whatever tickles your fancy and don’t be shy about it.
#14 Have naked time. Don’t be shy to show off your body when you’re with your loved one. There’s nothing more carnal than doing everyday things in the nude. From making tea to reading the papers to flicking through your TiVo selections, spend some time being unabashedly naked with your sweetheart. Of course, be sure that the kids are out of the house and you’re not expecting the cleaning lady to let herself in. [Read: How to look better naked by using these 15 simple tips]
#15 Be romantic. No matter how long you’ve been together, ensure that your romantic side never dies. Try to aim for date nights at least twice a month. Make reservations someplace nice, dress up, indulge in good food and splurge on great wine. Even if your idea of a fun night out encompasses a food truck dinner, never stop trying to impress your sweetheart. So long as you never stop wooing each other, you can rest assured that your marriage will stay spicy and passionate.
#16 Play hooky. Playing hooky isn’t just for rebellious teenagers. Pick a date and play hooky with your spouse. Whether you choose to laze around the house or play tourist in the city, enjoy each other’s company without worrying about the routine that your lives have somehow ended up conforming to.
#17 Work out together. A couple that works out together stays together. It will do you a whole world of good to always remember that. Staying fit and healthy is one of the best ways to spice up a marriage. Not only will you last longer in bed, you won’t have too many jiggly angles and positions to worry about the next time you two partake in naked day. [Read: 25 tips to motivate you to work out]
At the end of the day, there are plenty of naughty ideas out there to spice up your marriage. So long as you put the effort into it and successfully convince your spouse to jump on board, there’s no reason why your marriage needs to be one of the boring ones out there that researchers and life coaches are so eager to analyze. So long as you keep discovering new ways to keep the spark alive, the two of you will be just fine.
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