For years, people thought that there were three sexualities: gay, straight, and bi. However, pansexuals and pansexuality is one of many more you must know.
Are you confused by the term, pansexual? Do you know what it means to be pansexual? Or do you just nod along when someone asks you about pansexuality because you know what it “probably” means but you aren’t sure?
It was only recently that the news of other genders that don’t fit the binary norm *i.e. genderqueer, non-binary, agender, transgender* have been discovered and have been somewhat accepted into western society.
With that came the new labels within the sexuality spectrum that accommodate these newly discovered and recognized identities. And so came the birth of the sexual identity that is pansexuality. [Read: Sapiosexual – what it means, 41 signs and ways to attract them with intelligence]
So, if you were confused about pansexuality, not anymore. Because here’s everything you’ll need to know about pansexuality, how it works, the differences between pansexuality and bisexuality, and also, if you may be a pansexual yourself!
Read on, and you’ll know everything about it in no time.
What is pansexual?
Let’s break it down with academic-like objectivity. [Read: Sexually fluid – what does this even mean in the dating world?]
Pansexuality simply means that you are attracted to a person regardless of their gender identity.
The term “pansexuality” comes from the Greek word “pan,” which means “all” or “every,” which is why it is the most commonly accepted term to depict this identity in the spectrum.
The thing about sexuality and gender identity, however, is that you cannot approach it objectively. [Read: List of sexualities – 15 gender orientations you need to know about]
Human cognition has developed astoundingly in the last thousand years, and there is no objective definition for questions regarding life, love, morals, dreams, and other abstract concepts.
Sexuality and identity are no different, as each individual perceives themselves differently from other people, and no one label will be completely accurate in its definition in every way for any one person.
Even people who identify as pansexuals find themselves arguing about what the identity actually means to them and for them. [Read: Biromantic – what it means and how to read between biromantic vs. bisexual]
Since it is a relatively new discovery among gender scholars and people who identify as pansexuals, there are many discrepancies between people who share similar beliefs on what pansexuality does and doesn’t mean.
The most commonly shared notion between the two is that the identity was born in order to include the other discovered gender identities in the spectrum. [Read: Demiromantic – what it is, the signs, and why you take longer to fall in love]
From there comes one of the most popular discussions about pansexuality: its relation to bisexuality.
Misconceptions of pansexuality
We all think we know everything until someone tells us otherwise. So, it’s possible that you might have some misconceptions about pansexuality. Even if you don’t, here are five common myths that a lot of people believe.
1. Aren’t pansexuality and bisexuality the same thing?
There are overlaps between pansexuality and bisexuality, but they are not exactly the same. The key here is that the pansexual label is heavily used by those who don’t feel as if they’re bisexual.
This can be a number of reasons, most commonly being that they perceive attraction differently than how bisexuals do. A lot of pansexual people overlook gender altogether when they are attracted to someone.
As we said before, sexuality is subjective to everyone. Someone’s definition or reasoning for identifying as pansexual may be different than why another person uses the label. What matters is that the label exists because the pansexual community felt that their take on attraction is different from bisexuality. [Read: Pansexual vs. bisexual – all the ways to tell the real difference]
2. Pansexuality is transphobic
This is one of the biggest misconceptions about pansexuality. People tend to think that because pansexuality includes transgender people, pansexuals don’t see transwomen or transmen as women and men.
This is problematic because the term transgender is an umbrella term for transmen, transwomen, and people who don’t identify with a set gender, such as nonbinary, genderfluid, agender, or bigender people. [Read: Lithromantic – what it is, what makes one, and 15 signs you may be one]
At the end of the day, pansexuality isn’t about which genders someone is attracted to. In fact, pansexuality is the attraction to a person regardless of their gender identity. So, their attraction has nothing to do with someone who is transgender or cisgender.
3. How can someone be attracted to everyone? Pansexuals are just greedy
Just because a pansexual can be attracted to anyone doesn’t mean that they actually are attracted to everyone. Think about it. All heterosexual men aren’t attracted to all women, and vice versa for women.
The same is true for gays and lesbians. Gay people aren’t automatically attracted to everyone of the same sex. [Read: 23 secret signs of female bisexuality to read a bi girl and how to date her]
Attraction is so much more than just someone’s body parts. And everyone has their own individual tastes when it comes to physical attractiveness.
4. Pansexual people are confused, they can’t make up their minds about what they want
A lot of people don’t understand bisexuality or pansexuality because they think that they can’t make up their minds. Many straight and gay people don’t understand how someone doesn’t naturally prefer one sex over the other.
Some even perceive them to be “gay but afraid to come out” or “straight and just experimenting.” They just don’t understand how they can genuinely be attracted to anyone, but pansexuals are. [Read: Heteroflexible – what it is, why it isn’t bisexual, and the truth about attraction]
5. Pansexuality is just a new fad
Believe it or not, pansexual is not a new term. It’s been in the dictionary since the early 1900s and has been used by pansexuals even before. So, while LGBTQ+ people have been using a wide range of terms to describe their sexual and gender identities, most people are just hearing about it recently.
However, even if the term was new, this wouldn’t mean that a pansexual’s feelings or experiences aren’t real. Hopefully, the language will evolve as public perception progresses.
Pansexual vs. bisexual
Now, this is opening a can of worms in the discussion table as, whenever pansexuality is involved, the big sister called “bisexuality” always, always comes into play. [Read: The different types of gender and why you really should understand them]
On a grander scale, there is very little difference between the two identities as they are, in fact, more like siblings than distant cousins. But for the purposes of differentiating the two, these are the facts.
Bisexuality takes its root word from the word “bi,” which means two. Traditionally, this accommodates people who are sexually attracted to men and women.
However, this identity has been rooted in the belief that there were only two genders, as homosexuality meant attraction for the same gender, and heterosexuality for the opposite gender. [Read: The best of both worlds? How to date a bisexual woman]
For a long time, these two identities were the only ones widely known and accepted.
It was due to the recent growth of awareness and discussion of the complexities of these new identities that the demand formed for there to be a more inclusive label for those who do not identify with the more traditional, binary sense of what makes a gender.
For the most part, those who identify as bisexual find both men and women sexually attractive. With this being said, bisexuality is really defined by the person using this term. For some it means this definition, for others, it means more.
However, those who identify as pansexual are attracted to someone regardless of their gender identity, including men and women. [Read: Am I a lesbian or bisexual? 31 signs to the truth without asking around]
The complexities that come with human understanding arise and challenge these labels, so the meanings are constantly growing in order to accommodate changing or developing definitions.
What makes a man, a man–and a woman, a woman–is highly dependent on personal philosophy and upbringing. This is another factor as to why one’s sexual identity is subjective.
Perhaps the real difference between a pansexual and a bisexual is that a pansexual person can find attraction with anyone. Their prospective partner’s gender identity plays no part in determining initial sexual attraction. [Read: Dating a bisexual – things you should never say]
There are no barriers, so to speak. A pansexual person can be attracted to absolutely anyone, but that is not to say that they are attracted to absolutely everyone.
What to know about pansexuality
Like all sexualities, there is a lot of misinformation about what pansexuality is. Before assuming anything, here are some facts that exist about pansexuality.
1. It is real
The idea that a sexual identity could be nonexistent or not real, is simply ignorance at its worst. If someone identifies a certain way, it is real. [Read: Things women need to know when dating about bisexual man]
2. It is more common than you think
Although pansexuality seems to be more common in younger generations like millennials, it doesn’t mean it is a new thing. It only seems that way because gender identity was not as openly discussed before.
For this reason, some people who once identified as bisexual have changed to pansexual. [Read: The most common bisexual stereotypes we need to get rid of ASAP]
3. It is not the same as polyamory
Polyamory is the idea of being in love or involved with more than one person at the same time. [Read: Understanding what non-binary means and how it can change your life]
Although someone who is pansexual can also be polyamorous, pansexuality does not mean you have to be with more than one person. It simply means who you’re attracted to isn’t defined by their gender.
4. It does not mean promiscuous
This is a poor stereotype for pansexuals and bisexuals. Although there is nothing wrong with promiscuity, just because someone’s attraction isn’t limited to a specific gender doesn’t mean they are attracted to everyone or hook up with everyone.
Just as being gay or straight doesn’t mean you like every one of the genders you like. It simply means the pool to choose from is, maybe, bigger. [Read: Romantic orientation and understanding just how many different kinds there are]
5. It’s not just about sex
Pansexuality is not solely about sex or physical attraction. The pansexual enjoys a romantic and committed relationship just as much as any other sexuality.
What is it really like to be pansexual?
Life as a pansexual person, in this day and age, can be frustrating to people who don’t exactly understand it.
There are enough debates within the circle of people who identify as pansexual as it is, without other people constantly telling them that their identity doesn’t exist. [Read: Coming out of the closet – what it means and 31 steps to get others to accept you]
Pansexuality has numerous definitions and subsets, including those who identify as asexual. This is where panromantic comes into play, meaning someone is romantically interested in someone regardless of their gender.
Identifying as a pansexual person takes a lot of time, as it requires you to be comfortable with yourself and your desires. [Read: Am I gay? Signs and secrets you’re not straight and into the same gender]
There is nothing wrong with being attracted to only one gender, or two, or no genders at all–to not feel sexual attraction, at all. The road to finding out that you are attracted to anyone–with no strings of identity attached–is a long and winding one.
It can take weeks, months, or even years. Some people spend their entire lives trying to figure out which subset of sexuality they fit into.
Figuring out what you do and don’t like and eventually discovering that you identify as pansexual as early as your 20s or 30s can be a rewarding conquest of personal growth. [Read: Girl crush – what it means to have one and the deeper meaning it hides]
Then you can focus on building relationships with the full understanding that there are no barriers that gender identity presents.
You can fall in love with anyone… But that doesn’t mean you will. It can be both a freeing and terrifying experience to have the revelation that this is the kind of person you are. There is so much love in you, and there is so much love that you can give with no conditions attached.
As for all the frustration and politics that the discussion on pansexuality can present… The possibility of love from anywhere and everywhere is a beautiful thing.
And, for the last time, no–pansexuals don’t have sex with pans.
How to know if you are pansexual
There are some questions you can answer to see if you are pansexual. But listen, don’t feel rushed to say “yes, I am” or “no, I’m not.” [Read: The lesbian fantasy and what it means to have one as a straight woman]
You can be pancurious and not know for sure. Totally fine! But, if you are looking for an answer, these things may help you get some clarity.
1. You are attracted to people regardless of gender
This can mean you’ve been attracted to people of all gender identities or without knowing their gender identity. Essentially, you are attracted to someone. Their gender identity does not change your attraction to them.
It doesn’t matter whether they identify as a cisgender man, transgender, or if they are gender nonconforming. [Read: Do you know someone who is guilty of cissexism? Even you?]
You may notice yourself being attracted to a stranger without knowing how they identify or what gender they are. That is a good sign you are pansexual.
2. You don’t align with any label
Maybe you’d prefer the more broad term, queer. Or you just don’t like a label. That is fine. If pansexuality feels like you, then use it for now. You can always change what you identify with as you change and grow if that’s what feels right.
Pansexuality seems to be one of these least limiting labels. If you don’t necessarily feel like labels are for you but want something to categorize yourself as for those who find it confusing, this may be right for you. [Read: What is greysexual and what are the most common characters of greysexuality]
But don’t feel pressured to pick a label just to make things easier for others. If it doesn’t feel right, it doesn’t feel right.
3. You don’t think you’re bisexual
As we described earlier, for some, bisexuality is the same as pansexuality. For others, it isn’t. If you feel like the label of bisexuality doesn’t fit you for any reason, maybe you identify with pansexuality.
Although the definition of bisexuality is really up for interpretation by the person using it, it originally meant being attracted to your own gender and that opposite of yours. [Read: Metrosexuality – what makes a metrosexual man?]
If you find that limits how you feel, pansexuality may be the right term for you.
How pansexuality works in relationships
Since pansexual people are physically attracted to people of any type of gender, they can find themselves in a wide variety of relationships. They may look completely straight or they might obviously not.
As with any relationship, it’s important for anyone who is in a relationship with a pansexual to discuss everything beforehand – especially boundaries. [Read: How to set boundaries in a relationship – 39 rules for healthy love]
Neither person should make any assumptions about things like monogamy or sexual preferences.
Every pansexual person is different and has their own preferences, just like any other person. So, if you find yourself in a relationship with a pansexual, then it’s important to respect their boundaries.
How to discuss your pansexuality with others
If you think you are pansexual, then you might wonder how to talk to other people about that. Hopefully, you have supportive people in your life who fully accept and encourage your exploration and identity. [Read: 21 main types of lesbians, their preferences, and ways to tell them apart]
But if you don’t, you may need to be prepared for people who don’t understand.
So, you should start at a basic level. You can say something like, “I’m not straight, gay, or bisexual. I like people regardless of gender, and the word for that is pansexual.”
Then you can tell them what this label means for you and how it impacts your life. [Read: 35 signs to tell if a guy is gay and what to do if your boyfriend is bisexual]
You can say, “I don’t know who I might be attracted to or date. It could be someone of the same gender or the opposite. I just wanted you to know because it’s how I see myself.”
And if they ask if you like both men and women, you can reply with, “Yes, but it’s not quite that simple.”
You can use any approach that feels comfortable to you, depending on who you’re talking with and the situation. [Read: 31 signs you have a closet bisexual or lesbian wife who’s into women too]
Keep in mind, however, that some people just will never understand, especially when you first tell them.
How to support friends or partners who are pansexual
If you aren’t a pansexual yourself but have a friend, family member, or partner who is, then they may need your support. So, here’s how you can do it.
1. Be a good listener
Make sure that you give the person the space to share their thoughts and feelings with you. Try not to do much of the talking and let them do it while you are supportive. [Read: 19 ways to be a much better listener in a relationship and read their mind]
2. Be reassuring
Even if you don’t understand why this person is pansexual, you should still try to be as reassuring as possible. If you can’t be supportive in overt ways, then you can at least speak positively about an LGBTQ+ person at the very least.
3. Understand all the terms
There are many different LGBTQ+ terms that a lot of people aren’t familiar with – and you might be one of them. So, try to learn as many as you can. Learning the language can help stronger, clearer communication with them.
4. Be open-minded
If you come from a religious or conservative background, then it might be more difficult for you to remain open-minded. [Read: How to be less critical 15 reasons why you judge and how to stop it]
Try to think of it as being a blessing for knowing this pansexual person, not an inconvenience. And don’t judge them.
5. See a therapist if needed
Some people have a more difficult time accepting that people they love don’t fit into their preconceived notions of who they think they should be. So, if you can’t make peace with their pansexuality on your own, try seeing a therapist so they can help you.
Celebrities that identify as pansexual
You may not realize how common pansexuality really is. Although it hasn’t been a popular term for very long, it seems to align with many. [Read: How to have tantric sex – a beginner’s guide to awaken your sexuality]
Have you wondered who is pansexual or felt connected to one particular celebrity? Well, here are some celebrities that have publicly identified as pansexual.
1. Miley Cyrus
Miley Cyrus is probably one of the most famous and well-known celebrities who came out as pansexual. She said in an interview that when she went to an LGBTQ center, there was a person who didn’t identify as either male or female.
She felt a connection to them she hadn’t ever felt before. That helped her to understand why she never really felt neither gay nor straight. She was neither. [Read: 18 signs you’re asexual and don’t like getting laid as much as others]
2. Cara Delevingne
Simply put, the actress stated that she falls in love with the person whether they identify as they, he, or she.
3. Bella Thorne
The former Disney star said that she realized she was pansexual in 2019. She described it as liking beings and personality.
4. Brendon Urie
When asked, the musician said that he would have to identify as pansexual because he doesn’t care. He said if a person is great, then they’re great. [Read: Sexual compatibility – 47 signs to tell if you’re incompatible and ways to fix it]
5. Jojo Siwa
When the news of the young sensation’s relationship broke, it was said she was gay. Since then, she has come out as pansexual. She said, “my human is my human.”
6. Demi Lovato
The powerhouse singer has gone through a lot in her life. With recent events, she said that she was so closeted before but now is fluid and identifies as pansexual. [Read Demisexuality – what it is, 21 demisexual signs, and how to connect with one]
7. Janelle Monáe
When Janelle Monáe came out as pansexual, the search results for the word exploded. She said that once she read about the word, she realized that’s what she identified with.
8. Emily Hampshire
Hampshire, who played the sarcastic Stevie on Schitt’s Creek, said a conversation with co-star Dan Levy helped her realize she’s pansexual.
These celebrities are just a few examples of pansexuality in the media. Others have come out to say that it took them so long to know how they identified because they have never seen that representation on TV or in the media. [Read: Top 20 sexual taboos and sex topics most of us love but never talk about!]
What is pancurious?
Pancurious and pansexual are not the same, although they seem similar. Pansexuality is a label. Pancurious is a state of uncertainty.
If you are pancurious, you may question whether or not you are pansexual and even explore your sexuality. There is even a pancurious flag to include those who are unsure of their sexual identity in the community.
This also shows inclusion for those who are not yet ready to label themselves. [Read: Sure ways to really tell if you’re bi-curious]
There is no time limit to this curiosity either. It can be explored through sexual experiences, dating, or serious relationships.
There is nothing wrong with being pancurious. As we previously stated, sexuality is fluid. It can be altered or reconsidered. Something you may have once felt defined you, may one day seem foreign.
Pancurious is a good identifier for those who may think they are pansexual but just aren’t sure.
[Read: The perks and un-perks of coming out of the closet]
So, what is pansexual? It is love and attraction that transcends gender identity. As acceptance grows for all sexualities and gender identities, hopefully, all people will feel seen and represented.