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Biromantic: What It Means & How to Read Between Biromantic vs. Bisexual

Being biromantic is unique, and it’s not the same as being bisexual. So, if you’re curious about this romantic orientation, here’s what you need to know.

biromantic bisexual

There are so many new labels about sex. And sometimes it’s difficult to understand them all. But you are probably curious about the meaning of being biromantic. 

Sexual identity, sexual desire, or even things that have nothing to do with sex but have sexual overtones in them. It’s easy to get lost in a sea of verbal confusion.

It appears everyone and everything that we do, feel, or desire now needs a label. So, if you wonder if you are biromantic, you probably are.

But, being biromantic has nothing to do with who you have wet dreams about, who you want to have sex with, or if you are a homosexual, heterosexual, or, something in between.

What does it mean to be biromantic, really?

Some people might think that biromantic is something close to metrosexual. But it’s not.

Biromantic is more of a gauge of how sensual you are and toward whom, than anything to do with who you want to have sex with. Confused? Well, so is the rest of the world. [Read: Homoromantic – the basic facts on what it means and how to understand it]

How are biromantic and bisexual related? 

Biromantic is a phrase used to describe a person who has romantic feelings and is romantic to both sexes equally. 

Having nothing to do with their sexual orientation, they can be homosexual, heterosexual, pansexual, asexual, bisexual, or any other sexual term you come up with. The key to biromanticism is that it has nothing to do with sexual feelings.

When you look at the accepted definition of romantic, it is defined as loving, affectionate, tender, and amorous. So, if you are biromantic, that means that you feel and exhibit those types of feelings toward both sexes.

On the other hand, bisexuality is something different.

If you are bisexual, then you have sexual feelings toward people of both sexes. Not just feeling lovingly toward both, it means you want to engage in sexual activity with both genders. [Read: The most common bisexual stereotypes we need to get rid of ASAP]

Why is recognizing biromanticism important?

As we all know, the world is much different than it was several decades ago. Back then, you were either straight, gay, or bisexual. There were pretty much only three categories to “choose” from.

But these days, there are endless categories someone can be in. Now, there are many different labels put on people’s sexual orientation, gender orientation, and romantic orientation. [Read: Romantic orientation – the most common ones all of us must know]

Not everyone who is straight and cisgender can relate to these different orientations. However, once we all learn the differences, we can all be more understanding, accepting, and empathetic toward everyone in the world.

That’s why it’s important recognizing biromanticism. It’s equally as important as any other orientation.

Can you be both biromantic and bisexual?

Since the definition of both biromantic and bisexual include feelings toward both sexes, then yes, you can definitely be both at the same time. [Read: Pansexual vs. bisexual – all the ways to tell the real difference]

A bisexual who is also biromantic is sexually attracted to both sexes. And they also experience romantic feelings toward both too.

It’s almost like a straight person who is sexually and romantically attracted to their partner but applied to all sexes, not just one.

With that said, some biromantic people have sexual orientations that differ from their romantic orientations. This is called “mixed orientation” or “cross-orientation.” [Read: Dating a bisexual – things you should never say]

In other words, you are romantically attracted to one group of people but attracted to a different sex.

For example, a biromantic homosexual woman is romantically attracted to both men and women, but she only finds women sexually attractive. Or a biromantic heterosexual woman is romantically attracted to both men and women, but only finds men sexually attractive.

Myths about biromanticism

As with anything in life, there are a lot of misconceptions about what things are like in the world. Whether it’s a stereotype or a rumor, there are a lot of myths about all kinds of sexual and romantic orientations, and biromanticism isn’t any different. [Read: Aromantic dilemma – 16 myths and truths about their love life]

So, here are the top four myths of biromanticism.

Myth 1: Being biromantic is just a phase

This sounds like something your parents or grandparents would say, doesn’t it? But being biromantic isn’t like a “tomboy stage” that some girls go through. And it’s not a “goth” phase that some people try.

Being biromantic is just part of who someone is. [Read: Coming out of the closet – 20 steps to open a new life door]

Myth 2: Biromantic isn’t a valid identity

First of all, no one can really define their identity except for the person themselves. If people really feel like they are biromantic, who is anyone else to tell them that it’s not valid?

Anything is valid as long as someone feels it. So, it’s a myth that it’s not a valid identity.

Myth 3: Biromantic people can’t have monogamous relationships

This is also a common myth about bisexual people. For some reason, some people think that they can’t be monogamous because they are attracted to both sexes. [Read: Monogamous relationship – how to have one and signs to know if it’s for you]

That’s silly because how is it any different than being straight, in a monogamous relationship, but still finding some people of the opposite sex attractive? It’s not – it’s the same.

Ways to determine whether you are biromantic or bisexual

So, how do you know if you are biromantic or bisexual?

1. You feel lovingly toward most people 

Whether you have a bromance brewing or you want to sit really close to one of your new besties, feeling lovingly toward people of the same sex has nothing to do with your sexual orientation. [Read: Sure ways to tell if you’re really bi-curious]

Unless you want to sit close to them because you are sexually aroused and hope to take it a step further, then you are most likely biromantic, not bisexual.

2. You have sexual fantasies about people of the same gender

Merely having a sexual attraction toward people of the same sex does not make you bisexual. Many people are just so attractive that they elicit feelings of sensuality.

The difference between someone who is biromantic and bisexual is even if you have romantic feelings toward someone, or even consider them sexually appealing is that you don’t want to act on your feelings. [Read: The lesbian fantasy – what it means to have one as a straight woman]

It is okay to think about the same gender occasionally and admire their sexual attractiveness. But if you want to act on it and engage in sexual activity, then you might want to consider the fact that you have bisexual, as well as biromantic, feelings.

3. You want to flirt with people of the same gender

There are times when being adored by someone is a really nice feeling whether they are the same gender or not. When you start a new relationship with anyone, sometimes there is a flirtation that goes on.

Harmless, it is nice to feel romantic and close to someone. Flirting with both genders doesn’t make you bisexual, it might just mean you are biromantic. [Read: Does liking a man mean I’m gay? No, but these signs might]

If your flirting stops with clothes on and feeling good about yourself and your attraction, then there is very little chance you are bisexual.

4. You want to experiment with both genders

There are many people who think bisexual experiences are “experimentation.” But if you didn’t have bisexual feelings, then you wouldn’t want to experiment.

A biromantic isn’t experimenting with their feelings of romance, they just have them. [Read: Heteroflexible – all you need to know about rare sexuality]

People who want to experiment by having sexual experiences with people of both genders, whether it is permanent or not, are more than just biromantic and should consider the reality that they are bisexual.

5. You are comfortable being way too close to people of both genders

There are some people who are just more open and freer with their personal space than others.

The close talker is someone who doesn’t understand boundaries to personal space. [Read: How to know if you are gay – all the signs you can’t ignore]

Just because you are totally okay with practically sitting on your best friend’s lap, or you reach out and touch people sensually when you talk to them, that doesn’t necessarily mean you are bisexual.

In fact, many people are comfortable being close to not only people of the other gender but their own, without having any sexual feelings toward them at all. Lovingly being too close is very different from wanting someone sexually.

If you are someone who doesn’t need the same amount of personal space from those around you and are comfortable closer than most, that has nothing to do with being bisexual. [Read: Am I a lesbian or bisexual? 31 signs to know the truth without asking around]

That just means you are open to being loving and close to other humans whether they are the same gender or different.

6. You may be curious about non-monogamy

Even though we said earlier that biromantics can have monogamous relationships just like anyone else, there are some who might not want to.

These people might feel that their identity is best expressed when they’re able to date people of different genders at once. [Read: Open relationship questions to know if you’re ready]

It makes sense if you think about it. If you’re sexually attracted to someone, but not romantically attracted, that isn’t always ideal.

And vice versa, too. So, in order for a biromantic to be completely fulfilled some of them would like to explore non-monogamy.

How to support someone who is biromantic

Maybe you aren’t the person who is biromantic, but you know someone who is. It could be your significant other, a friend, or a family member. [Read: 35 signs to tell if a guy is gay and what to do if your boyfriend is bisexual]

Even if you don’t understand or can’t identify with how they feel, you can still support them. Here’s how you can do that.

1. Let them know you’re there for them

It’s never easy to be “different” in the world. Some people think that unless you are straight and have romantic feelings for the opposite sex, then that is “not normal.”

So, you can just let them know that you’re here for them. Tell them that you are on their side and love them unconditionally. [Read: How to cope when someone you love has an emotional shutdown]

2. Listen to them

When someone is working through their sexual and romantic orientation, sometimes it’s uncomfortable and confusing. The person might feel like they don’t really have anyone to talk to.

So, let them know that you will be there to talk to them whenever they want. Be a good listener and make them feel heard and accepted. [Read: 19 ways to be a better listener in a relationship]

3. Validate them

There are a lot of mean people in the world, so they might fear that they will get rejected by a lot of people because they are biromantic.

But you can do them a favor by validating them, their feelings, and their orientation. Remind them that they are just as important as anyone else with any other orientation.

[Read: Pansexual vs. bisexual – all the ways to tell the real difference]

Whatever you are or not, listen to your head and your heart and stop worrying about the labels and how they define you. Only you can define yourself, so just live your life, love who you love, and stop questioning what you are. You are you.

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Carol Morgan LP
Dr. Carol Morgan
Dr. Carol Morgan has a Ph.D. in communication and is a professor at Wright State University where she loves corrupting young minds. As a relationship and succes...