Sex is fun, but can you take it to a higher plane of sexual ecstasy and emotional connection? Learning how to have tantric sex can help you achieve all that, and it’s really not as confusing as most people think.
Ever wondered what tantric sex and tantric sexuality is all about? When you make love with your partner, the union may perhaps last for a good half an hour or more.
But tantric sex can help you prolong the connection and increase sexual intimacy by a hundred fold if done the right way! But before we get there, let’s try to understand what tantra and tantric sex really is about.
[Read: How to relax during sex, free your mind and enjoy your orgasms]
In ancient Indian philosophy, the word, tantra means technique. Though the modern world has grossly misunderstood the concept of tantra, tantric sex simply means a technique of sex. It’s not perverse, it’s not taboo, tantric sex a technique of sex that’s used to achieve a level of bliss and connect within, and with your partner.
Just like yoga is to the mind and body, tantric sex is to the soul and your partner’s soul. In tantra, just as it is with yoga, or any other paths to attain spiritual bliss, we have two kinds of them – the right hand path and the left hand path. Without going into too many details or digressing, the left hand path is crude and full of rituals, while the right hand path is purer and more self-reflective.
Tantra is the process of using the energies within your own body, to ascend to a higher plane of energy and connection, with yourself and with your partner. [Read: How to find happiness within yourself and manifest a better tomorrow]
According to ancient Indian scriptures, the energy levels of a human body are controlled by nine chakras (wheels) that pass along a vertical straight line. Some believe there are only seven chakras, while ancient texts speak of nine chakras when it comes to tantra.
By activating and creating a connection with these chakras, you can experience happiness, get rid of pain and emotions, or control and enhance any human emotion that you have ever felt.
Today, science has proved the presence of these energy centers in the body, and is still trying to understand how it works.
Tantric sex is the sexual technique of activating these nine chakras during the sexual union of a man and a woman. By doing that, you can experience bliss beyond words and connect on a higher plane that’s beyond the realm of what our mind can understand.
[Read: How to give a sensual massage and work your magic]
Tantric sex isn’t a dirty fetish or some kind of weird taboo that’s goes against human behavior. It’s pure, clean and more delightful than falling in love for the first time. Learning how to have tantric sex is an art that has to be learnt and mastered. It’s the meditation and awakening of the mind while indulging in sex. It’s pure LSD of the blissful, sexual kind. [Read: Everything you need to know about orgasmic meditation]
First of all, you need to give yourselves a few hours of undisturbed time with no phone calls, texts or distractions. Lock your phone away in another room, we know how hard it is to spend even a few minutes without scanning through the new notifications!
To create an explosive sexual connection, you need to be focused on each other and nothing else.
You can have tantric sex for an hour or prolong it for more than a day! It’s really up to you and your partner. To start off, indulge in tantric sex for an hour or two. You’d soon realize that two hours of sex is just too short once you’ve created a connection between each other in a realm that’s beyond the physical plane.
Confusing? Yeah, let’s go straight to the sex then!
[Read: How to have a hands-free orgasm – What you need to know]
Here, we’ll just tell you how to go about it the first time with a step-by-step guide. Explore and create your own connections, because passionate sex, just like our own minds, is as unique as a fingerprint.
Follow these steps, and take a break whenever you feel like it.
Set things in a manner that would please all your senses. Use fragrances like musk or sandalwood to stimulate your senses. Light candles and use a playlist of very soft music.
Dress in loose clothing that can come off easily, like a sarong or a robe. Red is the color of fertility, and would be preferred over other colors. Choose aphrodisiacs like strawberries, oysters, or chocolates to feed each other while having tantric sex. [Read: 6 sexy ways to dress for sex and turn your partner on]
Choose a drink like a mild red wine so you can get drunk more on each other than on the drink.
Sit down cross legged or on your knees in front of each other. Relax and feel comfortable in the surrounding, once you’re past all the giggling and blushing.
Gaze into each other’s eyes in the soft candlelight, and prepare your partner by lightly moving your palm or fingertips all over your partner’s body to tingle and awaken the nerves. Tease your partner with long strokes throughout the length of the body, brushing close to the points of heightened sensation like the privates and the breast, without touching the erogenous zones. [Read: How to arrange your bedroom to turn it into an erotic sex bedroom]
Once you’ve run your hands against each other’s bodies for at least a few minutes, your nerve endings would have a heightened sense of touch. Now it’s time to activate the chakras in your body.
Face each other and sit very close, but don’t touch each other. Place your fingers on your own nipples and massage yourself in a spiraling motion while gazing into each other’s eyes *or the hands if you think staring is rude!*. Massage yourself for nine deep, long breaths. [Read: Eye contact during sex will take your orgasms to the next level]
It’s the nine chakras we’re talking about, so the massaging should be done in multiples of nine as you move your hands downward.
#1 Move your fingers down to your ribs, and repeat the spiraling massage for 18 breaths, two times nine.
#2 Move your fingers down to the end of your ribs and repeat the motion and breathe slowly for 27 breaths, three times nine.
#3 Now move midway between the ribs and the navel, and repeat this for 36 breaths, four times nine.
#4 Now bring both the hands together just below the navel, and circulate the skin as you breathe for 45 slow breaths.
#5 Then massage midway between the navel and the pubic bone for 54 breaths.
#6 Then do the same just above the pubic bone for 63 breaths.
#7 Massage your privates for 72 breaths.
#8 Finally, massage just below and behind the genitals for 81 breaths.
#9 Now lie down beside each other, but don’t touch each other.
A word of advice – If you’re confused about where you have to massage yourself, don’t worry about it as long as you have nine points between your nipples and your last point of massage.
[Read: From “om” to”oh” – The best possible sex positions for yoga sex]
The kundalini is the sexual energy that rests within all of us like a coiled serpent. When you massage yourself and think of nothing but your carnal desires, your sexual energy would start to grow along with your desires.
To awaken your partner’s sexual energy, the woman should sit behind the man, closely in such a manner that the breast and the back touch each other. Repeat the 9-steps massage in multiples of nine, but this time the woman does all the massaging first, followed by the man who sits behind the woman.
You can pause between steps to have a sip of wine or an aphrodisiac. Once you’re done massaging each other, lie down next to each other with the sides touching each other. [Read: How a man’s size matters to his woman according to the Kamasutra]
Sit down with your backs touching each other and feel your buttocks touching each other’s. Place one hand on your heart, and the other on your privates and gently sway back and forth slowly, while taking deep, long breaths. Close your eyes and visualize the colors and think of nothing but your sexual desire towards each other.
After a while, you would start to feel a sexual awakening. If one of you try to sway faster in sexual excitement, the other partner should restrict the pace and maintain the same speed. Imagine sex and through your closed eyes, watch the colors form and fill you with sexual energy. [Read: The 5 senses of sex and how to awaken them]
At times, the sexual energy may be so intense, your eyes may start misting up or tearing, but don’t stop the motion, and don’t break the contact by laughing or talking about a distraction. Experiencing moments of bliss only means you’ve awakened an intense sexual force you haven’t experienced before.
Now change from the to and fro motion to circular motions and rotate your waists in sync together for ten minutes or more. This requires practice and it’s better to slow down sooner than later at the initial stages. Lie down again, and rest awhile.
Face each other and sit down, preferably cross legged or on your knees, with your knees touching each other’s. Place one hand on your heart and the other on your privates and sway back and forth, looking into each other’s eyes.
Lean back on the in-breath and breathe out as you move forward. Do this calmly and slowly. Massage yourselves on the nipples as you begin to sway in harmony. Shift your gaze from your partner’s eyes to their privates, and shift your hand from your nipple to your partner’s shoulder.
As you do this, for the first time, your sexual energies would come in contact with each other. Continue moving to and fro with deep, long breaths as you feel the sexual energy come and go in waves.
The woman now moves onto the man’s lap and sits down on his lap, facing him. As both of you move together through the tantric connection, the man penetrates the woman while she sits on his lap and locks him in her thighs. [Read: How to ride a man and look sexy doing it!]
Now the woman puts the man’s right hand on her back between the shoulder blades, and his left hand supports the buttocks. The woman’s left hand goes between his shoulder blades and the right on his sacrum, the base of his spine. This completes the path of sexual energy circulation between the man and the woman.
In this position, known as the Maithuna, the energy chakras are aligned, between the navel, the solar plexus, and the heart, and the energy flows through each other in a manner you would not have experienced before.
Gaze into each other’s eyes, and seal your lips together. You don’t have to kiss passionately or start running your hands all over each other. Just calmly breathe into each other as you sway back and forth, and then connect your tongues. This connects your entire body, the mind and the soul. Let this swaying turn to rocking and finally into thrusting. [Read: How to kiss more passionately and romantically]
As climax approaches, both of you should close your eyes and move your hands from between the shoulders to the top of the neck. You can pause each time you’re on the verge of orgasming, until you are ready to orgasm. This is the same as edging, where you hold back from orgasming to extend the sexual pleasure for longer. [Read: What is edging? How to orgasm harder and better than ever]
As the waves of the orgasm begin shuddering into the very core of your body, clench your teeth and bring the sensation to your head, to a point near the top of your head, just over the scalp. Let go of your mind and be still as the waves of sexual union overpower you. [Read: Top 50 kinky sex ideas to have a sexier relationship]
Stay in the same position until both of you are back in the mundane world, and your breathing and heart rate comes back to normal. Gaze into each other’s right eye, stroking each other’s face, neck, and shoulders. Slowly, begin a tender disconnection. Lower your hands to the sides and gently, let the woman lift herself off the lap and sit down facing each other. [Read: 9 relationship stages all couples go through in their relationship]
According to Tantric sexual philosophy, physical union of humans is sacred and similar to the union of the force of heaven with the power of the earth.
As you sit facing each other, touch each other at the knees. Place your right palms up on each other’s left knee. Feel the connection, and allow it to fade.
Gently, let go of the physical connection and draw yourselves apart. Close your eyes and sit in your own space. Open your eyes when both of you are ready and thank each other for what you have shared.
[Read: 15 commonly accepted sex myths that are totally wrong]
When you’re indulging in tantric sex, while the act itself is important, it’s the moments leading up to it which make it far more pleasurable. Now that you know how to have tantric sex *though it’s just one of several unique ways*, connect with your partner and you’ll learn to enjoy sex like never before.
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