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Are You Demiromantic? 13 Signs You Need Time To Build a Connection

Being demiromantic doesn’t mean there is anything wrong with you. It is all about patience and growth before you can develop feelings.


Are you the type who’s slow to develop a romantic attraction towards a person? So slow that it will take years and many moments of shared experiences for the slightest hint of attraction to ever occur to you? No, you’re not the cold-hearted, unloving person they accuse you to be. You’re just a demiromantic.

What’s that? [Read: The most common romantic orientations]

What does demiromantic mean?

What exactly is a demiromantic? Demiromantic is a romantic orientation. That is different than sexual orientation and really exists regardless of that.

Being demiromantic means it takes you longer than the norm to form romantic feelings and relationships with others. In a way, demiromantics are late bloomers who only develop a romantic attraction to a person after forming a substantial emotional bond through a less intimate relationship, such as a friendship.

This may not be the norm, necessarily, but there is nothing wrong with it. And demiromantics tend to have more solid and long-lasting relationships because of that slow and steady growth and foundation. [Read: Should you be taking it slow?]

Signs you’re demiromantic

From this description, you can already tell that it’s not easy to fall in love with a demiromantic, especially if you’re not one. But it isn’t impossible.

If you are demiromantic, you can and will find a relationship. And once you do, it will probably be even more intense and stronger because you took longer to work on your connection. You need someone who is patient and understanding, but that isn’t unheard of.

So, is this you? Are you demiromantic?

1. There’s no such thing as “love at first sight”

Their lack of primary attraction characterizes demiromantics. These are the typical circumstances that make normal people get attracted to someone: attractive physical features, personality, and social skills, to name a few. But, demiromantics do not fall in love with a person on the first date, let alone at first sight. [Read: 15 special ways true love sets itself apart]

2. Demiromantics prefer a friendship first

As mentioned, demiromantics fall in love only after the fact. And only after knowing and sharing a bond with a person through friendship. Think of this as courting if you would.

Demiromantics base their attraction on the information they get from a long friendship. As a result, the people they end up with tend to be those they have known for a long time. [Read: How to handle falling in love with your best friend]

3. You prefer other love languages over gifts

If one is determined to be with a demiromantic, the trick is to form a deep bond with them through shared experiences rather than plying them with material things or flaunting your best physical qualities. Demiromantics fall for people they’ve spent time with over someone who buys them gifts.

4. Demiromantics move slower

One common misconception about demiromantics is that they play hard to get by making someone go through a long courting process. It is easy to see it that way from the other person’s perspective. But the fact that demiromantics are very slow to develop romantic attraction makes this false.

People who play hard to get already have that attraction and are just making sure of their pick. On the other hand, demiromantics may not have gotten to the attraction phase just yet. They aren’t playing games. They’re taking their time.

5. Sex has nothing to do with it

As mentioned, demiromantics may be slow to develop that romantic spark. That doesn’t mean that they are not in line with their sexual desires. Sure, demiromantics will engage in a one-night stand, but getting into a serious romantic relationship takes quite a while.

6. Demiromantics have fewer past romantic relationships

Since demiromantics take their time to get in a serious romantic relationship, there’s a high chance they have very few past romantic relationships. Because it takes longer for them to form that connection, they wouldn’t have time to create a catalog of exes. [Read: How to know when you feel the real thing]

7. You prefer long term relationships

For demiromantics, it is not unusual for them to have longer relationships than average. Since they tend to build their current romantic relationship from a long friendship, it lacks the pitfalls of an average romantic relationship. Compared to people who just knew each other for a short period of time.

There is a better understanding of each other’s personalities, more maturity in handling problems, and a natural bond of best friends, the formula of a long relationship.

8. You can be demiromantic regardless of your sexual orientation

Being demiromantic does not lean towards any sexual orientation. Males, females, gays, lesbians, and bisexuals can be demiromantics.

9. You can stay single for a long time

Due to their nature, demiromantics are not troubled by the “being single pressure” that long-time single adults tend to have. They can be in a relationship for ten years with only pets as their company yet still be cool about it.

As mentioned, demiromantics don’t actively seek out romantic relationships on their own, and that makes them predisposed to being single. [Read: Single for life: Enjoy the ride and find the one along the way]

10. You are happy without a relationship

To put it simply, romantic relationships are not something they would want to pursue actively. They aren’t eager to jump into a relationship, neither do they require the stability of one. If it comes, then they put it to the test with a friendship phase. If it doesn’t come, then it’s nothing to be worried about. That’s just who they are.

11. You crave open communication

To have a successful relationship as a demiromantic, they need a lot of time to get to know someone. That doesn’t mean they ren’t opening up, but that they really want to dig deep and form a stronger bond before getting into something romantic. That means they love talking and really opening up mutually.

12. You are slow to trust

Trust comes with romantic feelings. Trust also goes along with friendship. Demiromantics do not have trust issues perse, but they take a while to trust someone enough to open up and be vulnerable with them. They take a while for those romantic feelings to form as they do slowly open up. [Read: How to take your relationship slow but not too slow]

13. Demiromantics never rush things

Unlike many people who want to rush into a relationship or have full clarity on whether they are in a relationship or not, a demiromantic doesn’t crave that. Yes, they want clarity and openness, but they don’t need to rush into anything ever. They like to take their time learning someone completely.

[Read: Love is patient, love is kind: 14 rules to experience true love]

A demiromantic is a person who falls in love after a substantial emotional bond has formed between them and the other person. If that sounds like you, you may be demiromantic. So, enjoy it.

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